


Balance

by nabooliola



Series: Balance [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Dom Dean Winchester, Dom Sam Winchester, Dom! Dean Winchester, Drug Use, F/M, Ignoring safewords, M/M, Multi, Nonsexual Submission, Pet Names, Praise Kink, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Punishment, Rape/Non-con Elements, Safewords, Self-Esteem Issues, Spanking, Sub Sam Winchester, Subdrop, Subspace, Switch Sam Winchester, Switch! Sam Winchester, Threesome - F/M/M, Uncle Bobby Singer, Updating tags as I go, Vaginal Fingering, Wincest - Freeform, cannon adjacent, dean winchester has an oral fixation, reader - Freeform, so much praise kink, sub! Reader, universe specific homophobia, universe specific sexism, unrealistic refractory periods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-08-24 07:03:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 49
Words: 168,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16635182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabooliola/pseuds/nabooliola
Summary: "Is this Dean Winchester?"“Who’s asking? How did you get this number?” He had only given that number to people in his inner circle.“My uncle Bobby told me to call you if I ever needed help and...well… I need help.”BDSM AU/Soulmate AU/Wincest/Female Reader.... what it says on the tin





	1. Distress Call

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for SPN-I'm new to the fandom so please be gentle.

With the spirit finally taken care of, the brothers slumped back to the impala. The drive was silent, both men too exhausted for conversation. What had started as a simple salt-and-burn had turned nasty fast and now nothing sounded better than crawling into bed. The boys were startled from their comfortable silence by the piercing ring of a phone. Opening the glove compartment, Sam fished around for a minute before pulling out a phone. He turned to his brother with a frown. “It’s your personal”. Dean took the phone, glancing at the unrecognized number before answering.  
“Hello?”  
“Is this Dean Winchester?” He raised his eyebrows at the shaky female voice.  
“Who’s asking? How did you get this number?” He had only given that number to people in his inner circle.  
“My uncle Bobby told me to call this number if I ever needed help and...well… I need help.” Dean fortunately had the thought to pull off to the shoulder of the road as he slammed on the breaks.  
“Your uncle Bobby?” Beside him, Sam whipped around, blinking in surprise. Bobby was someone’s uncle?  
“Yeah, Bobby Singer?” The girl sighed. “Look, if you can’t help me, I’ll figure something else out.” Dean switched the phone to speaker.  
“I never said I wasn’t going to help. What’s going on?” Before the girl could answer, a scream rang out in the background followed by a series of thumps and inhuman growling.Through the phone, the brothers could hear the creak of a door and the girl struggling to keep her breathing quiet. A strangled gasp was all they heard before the line went dead. The boys turned to each other. Sam was the first to speak.  
“Call Bobby?” Dean set his jaw and nodded, leaving speaker mode on. After six rings a familiar voice answered.  
“Do you have any idea what time it is? It’s not easy to get into my chair and find my phone!” Sparing no thought for Bobby’s complaints, Dean began shouting.  
“You have a niece?! Why didn’t you tell us? And why the hell would you give her my number without warning me that I might get a distress call?” Bobby sputtered in surprise.  
“She called you? Is she okay?” Before Dean could go back to ranting, Sam took over.  
“She said she needed help. It sounded like things were bad but the line went dead before she could give us more information.” Bobby cursed under his breath.  
“She’s my sister’s daughter. After her daddy died in a hunt gone bad, my sister packed her up and left. I wanted to keep her out of this life, keep her safe. A few years ago, she had trouble with a witch. After that, I gave her my number to call if something happened again. Course, I’m no use now in this damn chair. That’s why she has your number.” He sighed. “You can be mad at me later. Right now, she needs your help. She’s living in a house with some schoolmates in Ann Arbor.” Sam nodded.  
“We’re in Detroit, it shouldn’t take us too long. Text us the address?” Dean unclenched his locked jaw, and started up the car again, leaning hard on the accelerator. They were on their way.


	2. 7357

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's very short but this felt like its own chapter

7356, 7357, 7358…. you kept up your silent count of the passing seconds, fighting the beginnings of what you knew would be a hard drop. You hadn’t heard anything in your room for a little more than an hour. Now that the adrenaline had begun to wear off, you were growing more and more aware of the aching in your legs and neck. Staying cramped in the back of a closet for hours wasn’t exactly comfortable and the shallow cuts on your arms weren’t helping your case. How long until it was safe to move? Just as you were considering opening the closet door, you heard a noise downstairs. Terror raced through you like ice in your veins. That…..thing...whatever it was, had ripped Marnie to shreds. You had escaped to your room just as the creature ripped her heart out. Another noise had you holding your breath. Not time to leave yet, then. 7389, 7390, 7391…


	3. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys arrive at reader's house and search for her amongst the bodies of her slaughtered room-mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that reader won't be this needy/scared forever.
> 
> Also-the next chapter is pretty close to being done!

Dean entered the house first, eyes and ears open to threats. The place was a mess, blood on the walls and floor and furniture upturned. On the couch were the mangled bodies of two young women. With a grimace, Dean moved through the rest of the house, grimacing at the loud thump Sam made when he bumped into the coffee table. There was an uncomfortable stillness to the place and it was clear that the attack had been sudden. In the kitchen he found a girl’s body slumped over bloodstained homework, her hand dangling over the edge of the table with a shattered glass of water underneath. Behind him, Sam let out a low whistle. “This is…..this is a lot.” Dean nodded. They were unfortunately used to seeing bodies but it was especially hard to walk through this scene knowing that somewhere in the house was the girl who had called for help. Was she still alive? “Dean, look” Sam was crouched down by the body of a woman who had made it halfway up the stairs, the back of her body shredded apart. “Her heart’s gone.” He looked up. “Werewolf?” “Hell of a werewolf. How many people can one of those tear through in a night?” Sam shrugged, his gaze going farther up the stairs and his eyebrows raising. The rug at the top of the staircase had an upturned corner, as if someone had run across it quickly and there was a splotch of blood on the wall. Pointing out the signs to Dean, he slowly crept up the stairs.

 

 

7462…..7463…..7400…? It was getting harder and harder to focus on counting as you fought the drop. Not for the first time, you cursed your biology. Being a sub meant that in moments of fight or flight, you were more likely to freeze. Damn hormones… Just as you got a handle on which number was next, you heard footsteps outside your door. Choking back a whimper, you curled even father back into the closet, clutching the knife you had snagged from the kitchen. The muffled voices outside your room were your undoing, forcing you into a terrified drop.

 

Dean opened the door to the last bedroom. So far, they hadn’t found any survivors and he was hoping that Bobby’s niece was somewhere in this room. Failing family was something he would never forgive himself for. Though he wouldn’t have much time to try since Bobby would probably kill him if he came back without the girl. The bedroom was small and Dean took in the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and the photos pinned to the wall. One of the photos showed a young girl proudly holding up a fish she had just caught while a familiar hunter looked on. This was the right room. Sam nearly tripped over a loose floorboard and the resulting creak echoed through the room. It was shortly followed by a muffled whimper from the closet. The brothers locked eyes, a silent conversation passing between them. Eventually, they knelt in front of the closet door. “You in there, kiddo? It’s me, Dean.” They heard a rustling inside the closet but no response. “I’ve got my brother with me. Your uncle told us your address. Can you open the door for us?” Still nothing. Dean glanced at Sam nervously. “I promise that we won’t hurt you. We’re going to open the door now.” Slowly, Dean opened the door. What he found made him curse under his breath.

 

The footsteps were getting closer and you heard the door to your bedroom open. You held your breath, hoping that whatever was out there would go away. You couldn’t contain your fearful whimper at the creak of a floorboard. Suddenly there was a voice. It was the same voice from the phone before, a dom. Your instincts flared within you, and you struggled through the murkiness of the drop, wanting to understand what the dom was saying, wanting to obey. The door opened and suddenly you were looking into the most beautiful green eyes you had ever seen. The dom said something again but you couldn’t understand. There was movement next to him and again, you found yourself lost in gorgeous eyes, hazel this time. The logical part of your brain knew it was ridiculous. Here you were, deep in a drop and confronted with two unfamiliar doms but rather than being afraid, you suddenly felt safe. It was this realization that was your breaking point and finally, you allowed yourself to release the tears that had been building all night. The moment you began crying, the brothers knew they were done for. What started as nearly silent cries turned to loud hiccuping sobs as you clutched your knife tighter, accidentally cutting yourself on the blade which made the tears worsen.

“Oh honey….” Dean reached into the closet and scooped you out. He arranged you in his lap as Sam coaxed the knife from your shaking hands. One arm went to your waist, providing a warm line of support while the other guided your head to his neck where the dom pheromones were strongest and held it there. It was a standard sub-hold but damn if it didn’t feel amazing. Sam began tracing gentle patterns on your back with the tips of his fingers, replying to the words you didn’t even know you had been saying.

“That’s right, you’re safe now. It’s okay. It’s over. There’s nothing to be sorry for, you were so smart to call us and to find a place to hide. You even thought to get that knife to keep yourself safe. You did so good, it’s going to be okay now.” Eventually, your shaking subsided and you came back to a functional-if not perfect-headspace. Above your head, the brothers shared a silent conversation and Dean nodded, beginning to shift. This was almost enough to completely loosen the tenuous hold you had over your instincts and you gripped tightly to his shirt, whimpering. Sam chuckled gently and took your hands in his. “It’s okay sweetheart, he’s not leaving. We just want to get you someplace safer so you can rest.” You looked back and forth between the brothers, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Stay?” You flinched at how small and weak your voice sounded. Dean eased your lip free with his thumb, smoothing over the red bite marks and smiling gently.

“We’ll stay with you as long as you want, darlin’.” You nodded, allowing the boys to shift you all into standing positions. Dean studied your face for a moment, trying to get a sense of your headspace. “Can you help us with something?” You nodded again, eager to please. “Can you put together a bag of everything you think you’ll need for at least a few days? I’m not sure how long your uncle will want to keep you at his house.” You busied yourself with gathering clothing and toiletries, wanting so badly to show the doms that you were competent and capable. Soon, you turned to the brothers and presented your work for their approval. Sam smiled and took the bag with a gentle ‘good girl’ that was far too soothing. Dean raised an eyebrow. “I think you forgot something though.” He plucked the stuffed rabbit from your bed, coaxing it into your arms and smiling approvingly when you cuddled its fur to your face. “Much better.” You allowed yourself to be ushered out of your house and into the backseat of the impala. You were quickly joined by Sam and the three of you drove off, leaving the growing sounds of police sirens behind you.


	4. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys bring reader back to her uncle's house and discuss their connection. Dean gets the shovel talk.
> 
> Trigger warning: negative self-talk, body image issues, etc.
> 
> I keep saying that it'll be a while before I post again but this is so much more fun than homework.

Dean glanced in the rearview mirror to the backseat where you were leaned against Sam’s chest. The warmth of Sam against you, the rumble of the engine, and the sense of safety you felt being near them had easily lulled you to sleep. Now Dean watched with fondness as Sam tenderly tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. Could Sam feel it too? He’d known what you were to them as soon as you reacted to his pheromones back at the house. Doms could only have that kind of effect on their soulmates. As if he could read his mind, Sam met his brother’s gaze. “She’s ours, right? Dean? Please tell me you feel it?” Dean swallowed back the lump in his throat brought on by such raw emotion. Though they hadn’t officially bonded, he could already feel the beginnings of a connection, the threads of your soul weaving in with his and Sam’s. He couldn’t wait until the day when he would feel your soul as strongly as he did his brother’s.

“Yeah Sammy, I can feel it. We found her.”

 

Pulling up to Bobby’s house, Dean was surprised to find himself feeling disappointed. They had been driving for twelve hours and he was aching to stretch his legs but he knew that as soon as they left the car, the calm spell of the drive would be broken. He realized that he had floated into a pseudo-domspace. It generally didn’t happen so smoothly but something about knowing his subs were safe and warm and together, having them in sight…...it all made for a very good headspace and he was loathe to leave. Sam’s stomach chose that moment to let out a loud growl and Dean realized that they hadn’t eaten in almost a day. As much as he wanted to stay there, he needed to get his subs fed. He met Sam’s eyes in the mirror and nodded toward the house. Sam started to shift, undoing his seatbelt and their girl-he didn’t even know her name yet!-whimpered. Sam shushed her, tilting her head back to look up at him. “It’s okay, baby. We’re at your uncle’s now. It’s time to get up.” He helped the sleepy woman out of the car as the other man watched fondly. Dean could already tell that he would never be unaffected by the sight of his subs together. If the sight of them standing there fully clothed was this intoxicating, he couldn’t imagine how beautiful they would look laid out bare before him. Blinking to clear his mind, he addressed his girl.

“You already know, but my name is Dean. This is Sam, my brother and soulmate.” Sam shied away, busying himself with unloading their bags from the trunk. The switch was nervous about how you would react to the knowledge that you were mated to siblings. When no negative feelings passed through the bond, he looked back up hopefully to see you smiling shyly.

“I’m (Y/N).” your voice was soft but lacked the fear they had heard before. You bit your lip nervously-a habit Dean knew he would have to break you of as he wouldn’t have his girl hurting herself-and looked back and forth between the brothers. “Are….are we…?” you trailed off and looked down with an adorable blush. Sam hooked a finger under your chin, bringing your gaze back up.

“Soulmates?” He asked gently. You nodded, clearly struggling not to look away again. Through the fragile whisper of a bond, the brothers could feel your hope and fear.

Dean was quick to ease your anxiety. “We sure are babygirl”. They both smiled at the spark of joy that raced through the thread of connection between the three of them. Dean stepped forward to bracket you from behind so you were cocooned between his and Sam’s arms. Sam grinned at his brother and sneaked a quick kiss above your head. You giggled at the happy feelings bubbling through them. Just as Sam was leaning down to meet your lips, a gruff voice rang out.

“You can canoodle later, idjits! Get inside before dinner gets cold!” Dean held back a growl at another dom ordering his subs around, reminding himself that it was just Bobby and not a threat. Taking the bags from Sam, Dean guided his soulmates inside. Bobby raised his eyebrows as they passed with a note of warning. Dean met his gaze head-on and unapologetically. With the unspoken understanding that they would address what he had seen later, Bobby led the trio into the dining room. Dean was quick to get his subs settled, taking a seat between you and Sam and filling your plates before serving himself. Sam scarfed his meal down with fervor, clearly hungry, while you picked at your food. Your stomach was still in knots from the earlier drop. Bobby cleared his throat. “So what happened?” Sam glared at the older hunter as you began to shake, memories of the attack rushing back. Dean put a steadying hand on your knee before answering the question flatly.

“Looked like a werewolf. It was gone by the time we got there but had done one hell of a number on the house. The important thing is that (Y/N)’s safe now.” There was a note of finality to his tone which made it clear that any further discussion of the subject was not an option. An uncomfortable silence fell over the table. Sam cleared his throat.

“So Bobby, what ever happened with that vamp nest in Albuquerque?” The older hunter jumped into the story, grateful for a change in subject. As the two chatted about the logistics of bullets coated in dead-man’s blood, Dean squeezed your knee.

“I need you to eat a little more, kiddo. You might not feel hungry but it’s been hours since you ate last.” You nodded, taking a larger bite of your food. The need to obey and please your new dom overrode the nausea you were feeling. Fortunately, Dean seemed to know the state you were in and didn’t force you to eat more than you felt you could handle.

 

 

 

After dinner, you excused yourself to take a shower while the men headed into the den. Dean grinned wryly at the shift in Sam’s demeanor when you left the room. His switch was experiencing dominant instincts for the first time and it was endearing. Sammy had always belonged to Dean, never having any desire to look for anything else. When his 15-year-old blood test showed that he was a switch, Sam had panicked. The doctors had explained that he would need to take on a sub to keep his hormones balanced but he had no idea how to make that work. Dean was a dom through and through, there was no way Sam could meet that biological need without being unfaithful. It had taken hours for Dean to get Sam relaxed enough to listen. He wasn’t at all surprised by the results, always suspecting his brother wasn’t fully submissive. Sure, he was happy to obey Dean but there was a stubborn streak there, pointing towards underlying dominance. Once Sam had calmed down, Dean brought up something he had known for as long as he could remember. While the bond between the brothers was strong, there were thin spaces, almost as if some threads were missing. They spent that night mapping out the empty spaces of the bond and speculating about the missing person who would bring them balance. Triads were rare, but not unheard of. Of course, soulbonds between siblings weren’t common either. When Sam went away to Stanford, he had experimented with a sub for hire. His brother had been nagging him to try one of those services for years but Sam couldn’t bring himself to even consider it with his dom nearby. Jess was sweet and Sam had enjoyed testing the waters with her but it was nothing like what he was feeling now. When Bobby left to get beer, Dean placed a grounding hand on the back of his brother’s neck and leaned in close. “Easy, Sammy. She’s still in the house. I know it’s hard when you can’t see her but she’s okay.” Sam grumbled a bit at the babying tone Dean was using but calmed nonetheless.

Back in the bathroom, you were practically purring at the warm water. The hours you had spent curled in the closet were still remembered by your aching muscles. It was nice to get clean too as being in a state of fear for so long didn’t make for the best body odor. Humming happily, you reached for the shampoo. You wanted to get back to your doms’ embrace but you were loathe to leave the soothing spray. _If only they were here too….._ You allowed your mind to wander, conjuring images of wet naked men on either side of you. Having spent so much time cuddled up to them, you were well aware of how muscular your mates were. Remembering how warm and firm Sam’s body had felt against yours in the car, you began to trail your fingers down to where you were feeling a different and much more pleasant ache. Brushing the softness of your belly caused you to pause. You bit your lip and looked down at the roundness of your stomach and thighs. You had been more or less happy with your body until that point but now you couldn’t help comparing yourself to other girls. Would your mates be disappointed when they saw you? Suddenly, the water didn't feel as luxurious. You quickly finished showering and got out, careful not to look in the mirror as you toweled off. You had brought pajamas into the bathroom to change into after your shower but were now regretting the selection. The tank and sleep shorts left way too much skin exposed. Hopefully, you could make it to your bag and back unnoticed to grab something more conservative.

You weren’t that lucky though. Your bags had been left in the kitchen and when you crept in, you ran into Dean who had come to fetch another beer. His eyes traveled up and down your body, making you squirm under the attention. He let out a low whistle, eyes darkening. “Damn babygirl, you’re beautiful”. You scoffed and pushed past him to your bag, avoiding eye contact. Seeing you fish for a pair of sweats, dean frowned. “Sweetheart, it’s way too hot for those. If you’re cold, you can snuggle up with me and Sammy.” He took your hand and steered you into the den. You kept your eyes glued to the floor as you entered the room, missing the way Sam repeated his brothers actions, licking his lips as his eyes roamed your figure. Bobby, however, did notice and cleared his throat.

“Let’s keep it PG in here.” Dean chuckled and winked at his brother, moving to join him on the loveseat and pulling you to squish between them. You squeaked at the slight manhandling, drawing your legs up to your chest to hide your stomach. Sam frowned at the trace of nervousness he could feel from the fledgeling bond. Wanting to soothe your anxiety, he pulled you to sit in his lap with your legs stretched across Dean’s. You quickly tensed your muscles when Sam wrapped an arm around your middle. Misinterpreting the stillness as residual fear, both brothers released a strong wave of pheromones. You were helpless against the onslaught, soon boneless in Sam’s arms.

“How is school going, (Y/N)?” You blearily looked up at your uncle, fighting the irritation you felt at being pulled out of the blissful haze of your dom’s pheromones.

“It’s not too bad. I actually just took my last final on Thursday so I’m done until fall.” The brothers released the breath they’d been holding since Bobby asked the question. They hadn’t considered that you would be returning to school. Neither of them were comfortable letting you go anywhere near that house anytime soon, if ever. After his initial sense of relief, Sam tilted his head curiously.

“What are you studying?” You answered with a yawn.

“Anthropology mostly. I took a few sociology classes but I’m mostly learning about ancient cultures.” You yawned again and nuzzled into Sam’s shoulder. While you had slept for the entire drive to Bobby’s house, you were recovering from final exams, extreme trauma, a panic-induced drop that was just this side of sub-shock, and meeting your two mates. It was enough to knock anyone out for days. Noticing your tiredness, Bobby leaned forward.

“I got your old room all ready for you. Figured you’d need a place to sleep.” He turned his gaze to Dean with a challenge in his eyes. “Your room is also good to go.” All three of you bristled at the implication that you would be sleeping in separate rooms. Dean squeezed your ankle and ran a soothing hand down Sam’s arm, not breaking eye contact with Bobby.

“Sammy, take (Y/N) to our room. I’ll be there soon. Bobby and I need to have a quick chat first.” You and Sam obeyed, both glancing nervously between the two hunters as they stared each other down. You whispered a goodnight to your uncle before letting Sam lead you to the larger guest room. Dean watched the two of you go, not acknowledging the older hunter until he heard the bedroom door close. When he shifted his gaze, Bobby was squinting at him calculatingly.

“I take it this is more than a fling?” Dean growled, insulted that his mentor would think (Y/N) was only a passing fancy to him and Sam.

“She’s our soulmate, Bobby. Ours.” Bobby sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“You boys don’t do anything halfway do you?” He stared at a spot on the ceiling for a moment. “I wanted her to have a normal life, dammit. There’s no way that’ll happen now. Winchester is about as far from normal as you can get. Now she's in the middle of this damn mess.” Dean met his eyes firmly, conviction clear in his voice.

“Look Bobby, I’m not going to promise that nothing bad will ever happen to her because we both know that would be bullshit. What I can promise is that Sam and I will do everything in our power to keep her safe and happy. You know how much family means to us and how far we will go to take care of one of ours.” Unashamed tears gathered in Dean’s eyes. “I’ve known that Sammy was mine from the moment I met him. I have spent my life doing my best to take care of him. When we found out he was a switch, I was crushed. He needs a sub and I couldn’t give him that. It kills me to know that he’s gone this long unbalanced. We could tell that there was a third person out there for us but I thought they were mostly for him. I was happy with Sammy and didn’t think I’d ever want or need anyone else. Then I met (Y/N).” He shook his head. “She’s not just his, Bobby. She’s mine. She’s ours. We need each other. I would go to hell and back to keep her safe and you know I mean that literally.” Bobby stared in stunned silence. Dean was rarely so open with his emotions. Finally, he nodded.

“I’d be lying if I said I was happy about (Y/N) getting pulled into all of this but I do know that no one will protect her better than the two of you.” He fixed Dean with a hard stare. “Just remember that if anything happens to her, _anything_ , I won’t be held responsible for my actions. You boys are like sons to me but she’s like a daughter. I don’t care if I’m in this chair or laid up in traction or freaking dead. If you let her get hurt I will make you regret it.” Dean grinned.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” With that, he stood and made his way to the room where his subs were waiting, looking forward to the future for the first time in forever.


	5. Feathers and Witchcraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio has an eventful evening and gets a wake up call from a not so feathered friend. Later, Sam learns some interesting information about Reader's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in being a beta reader please hit me up!  
> Also you are all wonderful sparkly humans and I hope that you have a fabulous day!

_ “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” With that, he stood and made his way to the room where his subs were waiting, looking forward to the future for the first time in forever. _

* * *

 

Dean’s breath caught in his chest when he opened the door to the bedroom. Just the bedside lamps were on, bathing the room in a dim yellow light that somehow made the sheets and blankets look softer, more comfortable. You were sat in the armchair by the window, blushing as Sam brushed your still-damp hair. Both of you looked up when he entered and smiled happily. He groaned internally at the warm fuzzies he was feeling. It seems the chick-flick moments were only going to increase now that his little family was complete.

“Everything go okay with Bobby?” Sam asked with trepidation, setting down the brush to begin braiding your hair for the night. Dean nodded as he shut and locked the door before stripping down to his underwear.

“Yup, we’re good. He just wanted to check that everything’s on the up and up.” He began turning the covers down, smiling at your stuffed rabbit that Sam had tucked in safely in the middle of the bed. “This little fella have a name?” Your blush darkened and you looked down at the floor.

“Gigi” you mumbled. Sam chuckled and secured your braid with an elastic before shucking his overshirt and jeans, leaving himself in boxers and a t-shirt.

“How long have you had Gigi?” You squirmed nervously. Here you were about to get into bed with two very attractive, barely clothed men and rather than attempting to seduce them, you were talking about a stuffed toy. This definitely wasn’t how you had imagined your first night with a soulmate.

“I’ve had her for as long as I can remember. I know it’s silly to still sleep with a stuffed animal but…” You trailed off, biting your lip and gesturing vaguely with your hand as if that could explain away your embarrassing level of childishness. Sam reached out and grabbed the hand, pulling you to your feet so he could bring you in close.

“It’s not silly, it’s cute.” He smiled at you before leaning down for the kiss your uncle had interrupted earlier. He stopped before your lips met, letting you close the distance. As soon as his mouth touched yours it was like a circuit had been completed. Little tingles of energy raced through your body and you gasped, deepening the kiss. Just as you opened your mouth to let your tongue dance across the seal of his lips, a bit-off groan reminded you that your other dom was in the room. You looked over to where Dean was sitting on the bed, taking in his blown pupils and parted lips. The older Winchester reached out and Sam pushed you into his brother’s lap. Not able to hold back now that you had tasted one of your soulmates, you leaned forward and captured Dean’s mouth, reveling in his plush lips and the stubble that scratched at your chin. If Sam’s kiss had made you feel tingles of energy, Dean’s brought a full current. He moaned and kissed you harder before placing a hand on your cheek and pulling back.

“You keep that up and I’ll end up doing something that’ll really piss your uncle off.” He leaned his forehead against yours and took a couple of deep breaths. “As much as I’d like to keep going, now’s not the time. We just met and we’re all exhausted.” You reluctantly agreed. While you very much wanted to complete the bond between the three of you, you knew that the boys hadn’t slept in days. Besides, it was sweet that Dean wanted to wait. Stealing one more brush of his lips, you sat back and made grabby hands at Sam.

“Don’t just stand there, get in on the cuddles!” He laughed and shook his head before climbing into the other side of the bed, lifting the covers so Dean could deposit you in the middle. Sam pulled you closer so you could lay your head on his chest and Dean leaned over you to give his brother a rather filthy goodnight kiss before spooning up at your back. With their warmth on either side of you and the soothing sound of Sam’s heartbeat in your ear, you were quickly asleep with Sam following close behind. Dean stayed awake for a while, wanting to memorize the way the two of you looked in that moment so he could keep it forever. Eventually, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

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>  
> 
> _ You added the geometry textbook to the “sell” pile, glad to be done with it. Humming along to the music Cassidy was playing down the hall, you picked up a much thicker book. Before you could read the title, a bloodcurdling scream rang through the house. You threw the book to the floor and ran down the stairs, hearing more of your roommates scream. There was a sick squelching sound and as you stepped off the staircase into the kitchen, you saw Jennifer collapse on her homework, dropping her glass of water. The glass shattered and water sloshed across the floor but you barely noticed the wetness seeping into your socks as you stared at the creature looming over her. Its back was turned to you but you could see from the way that it moved that this was no human. The fact that it was snarling while clawing Jennifer’s back open was certainly a contributing factor. Keeping your movements slow and silent, you carefully reached for a knife from the block on the counter. You knew that the knife probably wouldn’t do much though and you needed help. Your uncle had given you the name of some hunter...Dan? Dave?.... You needed to get to your phone which was of course back in your bedroom. Just as you were beginning to back slowly up the stairs, you heard a strangled gasp. Your heart dropped to your stomach when the creature saw Marnie standing in the doorway. She screamed and ran, ducking under its arm to join you on the stairs. The monster wasn’t quickly deterred though and grabbed her ankle as she ran up. You turned in time to see her fall and watch the fear in her eyes fade to nothing as her back was shredded to ribbons. She had screamed your name as she died, reaching for your hand. Fighting back the rising bile in your throat, you kept running. If you could just get to your phone everything would be okay. The hallway seemed to stretch on forever and you could hear the monster drawing ever closer. Finally you made it to your room. Just as you pressed the hunter’s number in your contacts, the creature grabbed you. You screamed and dropped the phone, knowing it was too late. Through the tinny speaker you could hear your doms calling anxiously. “(Y/N)? (Y/N)?!!!” _

 

 

Sam was roused from sleep by the feeling of nails digging into his arm. He looked down to see your brows creased as you whimpered and squirmed in his arms. Suddenly, you kicked your legs and cried out. That woke Dean and he was quick to sit up and turn on one of the lamps. Sam sat up too, moving you with him and shaking you gently to pull you out of the nightmare. “(Y/N)? Wake up sweetheart!” Your only response was to struggle, fighting against his hold on you. He looked to Dean, eyes wide with fear. Dean gathered you into his lap, pinning your arms to your chest and wrapping a leg around yours to keep you from moving. 

“Keep talking, Sammy.” Holding you almost painfully tight, he began releasing pheromones and rocking gently side to side. Sam crawled forward until he was straddling your legs and whispered gentle reassurances just like he had when the brothers had pulled you from your closet.

“You’re okay (Y/N) it’s safe now. Dean and I are here, we won’t let anything happen to you. Please wake up sweetheart. I want to see your pretty eyes. Come back to us please…” Your eyes suddenly snapped open, surprising Dean into loosening his grip enough for you to untangle yourself from your doms’ hold and flee to the bathroom where you promptly lost your dinner. As you heaved into the toilet, you kept replaying the look on Marnie’s face over and over in your mind. She had been so scared and you hated yourself for not being fast enough to save her. When your body had nothing left to give, you became aware of a strong hand rubbing your back. You looked over your shoulder to see Sam kneeling behind you. Great. So far your soulmates had saved your weak ass when you couldn’t defend yourself, learned about your fucking stuffed animal, and watched you puke. It was so pathetic that you almost wanted to throw up again. Another hand touched your shoulder and you looked to see Dean offering you a glass of water. You forced your face into what you hoped was a smile and accepted the water, rinsing your mouth out and wishing the floor would swallow you up.

“Sorry about that.” Your voice was wrecked from the screaming and vomiting. “You guys should go back to bed. I’ll clean this up.”  _ Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.  _ Dean leaned back against the bathroom door.

“We’re not going anywhere without you darlin’.” The brothers were so sweet it was almost laughable. How did they end up tied to you? You flushed the toilet and tried to stand up, shaky knees giving out quickly. Sam was fast to catch you though and you let yourself lean against him for a moment before pulling yourself together enough to shuffle to the sink so you could brush your teeth again. Mouth full of toothpaste, you turned back to the boys.

“Seriously, go back to your room. You have to be so tired.” You finished brushing your teeth and wiped your mouth, looking up to see Sam frowning.

“It’s your room too now. Our room. And there’s no way we’re leaving you alone after that nightmare.” He took your hands and rubbed them between his much larger ones. “Do you want to talk about it?” You looked down, biting your lip. What were you supposed to do? Tell them how useless you were? Complain about the horror of watching your friends die when you knew for a fact that they’ve seen much worse?

“Stop it.” You looked up at Dean’s hard tone. “I can see you beating yourself up in that pretty little head of yours and you need to stop.” You scoffed and looked away. Dean stared at you for a moment before nodding to himself. “Alright, both of you come with me.” You looked to Sam in surprise and he shrugged, clearly just as clueless as you about Dean’s plan. The older Winchester led you downstairs and through the den, grabbing a couple of throw blankets, before taking you out the front door. He pointed to the porch swing. “Sit. I’ll be right back.” You nervously followed the instructions, joining Sam on the swing. Both of you sat in silence until Dean came back out about ten minutes later with three steaming mugs. He handed one to each of you, keeping the third for himself and sat on your other side, tucking the blankets around the three of you. You took a sip of what turned out to be hot chocolate and leaned against the older Winchester.

“Dean, I-” He cut you off.

“I was 8 the first time I saw someone die.” You stared at him in shocked silence. “It was a guy who worked at a haunted bowling alley. I had been so excited to go on my first real hunt with Dad. He left me with the guy, told me to keep him safe for ten minutes. Things went tits up and the dude was dead by minute six.” He looked down at your stunned face. “I had nightmares about it for months and still do sometimes.” Before you could offer sympathy, Sam spoke up.

“Mine happened at 11. A man was possessed and he killed his wife while she was trying to get me out of their house. I remember being so upset with myself for not saving her.” You shook your head.

“But you were a kid, you couldn’t have saved her.” Sam nodded in understanding and shrugged.

“I get that now but it didn’t stop me from feeling that way then.” Dean put a hand on your knee and squeezed gently to get you to look back at him.

“What we’re trying to say is that this shit stays with you. It doesn’t matter how many bodies you see or how much blood you get on your own hands, each time sucks ass. Pretending that it doesn’t won’t do anything good.” You nodded slowly, less embarrassed about the tears falling from your eyes..

“Thanks guys” The three of you sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at the stars and sipping your cocoa. Once the cups were empty and you had stopped crying, Dean led the three of you back up to bed and you fell into a much more pleasant sleep.

* * *

 

You woke first that morning, your internal alarm clock still primed for an 8am class. As you blinked the sleep from your eyes, you realized that during the night Sam had pulled you practically on top of him with Dean shifting into the warm space you  had left behind. The braid Sam had done for you the night before was still intact, if a little floppy. You smiled as Dean mumbled something in his sleep, his nose twitching. Just as you were deciding whether to wake your boys up with breakfast or stay put in the warmth of their arms, you heard a strange fluttering sound. Immediately aware that the three of you were no longer alone, you sat straight up. Your quick movements woke the brothers and Sam pulled you behind him while Dean reached for the gun under his pillow. Seeing the dark haired man standing in the corner, the Winchesters relaxed.

“Cas, we’ve talked about this. You need to knock!” Dean’s sleep-roughened voice was a surprising treat and if the three of you were alone, you would have liked to see what you could make that voice do. Unfortunately, there was a fourth occupant of the room. The newcomer (Cas - Dean had called him Cas) tilted his head and frowned.

“I apologize for not knocking. You were not actively engaged in sexual intercourse so I didn’t realize you would prefer not to be disturbed.” His eyes stopped on you and narrowed in confusion. “Dean, I don’t understand this. Is it…..common for soulmates to share a bed with someone else?” Dean rolled his eyes.

“We’re a triad, Cas. (Y/N) is our soulmate too. She’s here for good.” From your spot behind Sam, you waved at the man who appeared to be growing more confused by the minute.

“How many soulmates do you have? If you are anticipating more, you may need to obtain a larger bed as this one seems to barely hold the three of you.” Dean sighed and muttered something about it being too early for feathery nonsense while he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sam sat up straighter, facing Cas and yawning through a response.

“It’s just the three of us, there won’t be anyone else. But you’re right, we should maybe look for a bigger bed if we’re going to stay here more often.” Realizing that no one was going to acknowledge how strange it was that this man had just appeared in the bedroom, you slipped out of the covers and stood up. Growing up with hunters in your family meant that you could generally take things in stride and you knew that if this Cas guy was dangerous, your doms would have kicked him out by now.

“I’m going to get breakfast started. Blueberry pancakes sound good?” The brothers nodded, practically drooling at the mere mention of food. You turned to the newcomer. “Will you be staying for breakfast?” He shook his head.

“I don’t eat.” What was this guy’s deal? You raised your eyebrows, looking to the boys for help.

“Okay…..Well let me know if I can get you anything, I guess.” You looked over your shoulder to the boys. “Either of you going to keep me company in the kitchen?” Cas spoke before either of the brothers could reply.

“You may take Sam but I need Dean to come with me.” You whipped around and glared at the blue-eyed man. You didn’t know who he was or why he thought he could order Dean around but what you did know was that you weren’t ready to be separated from either of your doms.

“I’m sorry, but who even are you?” He blinked before replying in what he clearly thought was an impressive tone.

“I am Castiel, angel of the lord.” Your snort of a reply didn’t seem to phase him and he just continued staring at you. Your eyes darted to Dean. He wasn’t really going to leave, was he?

“Look man, I can’t really go anywhere right now.” Dean shook his head at Castiel while getting dressed. “Whatever it is, you’re gonna have to do it without me.” The apparent angel huffed in irritation.

“I wasn’t asking, Dean.” The older Winchester paid Castiel little attention, focusing instead on digging socks from the bottom of his bag.

“Neither was I. Sorry Cas but I can’t help you right now.” The angel glared and moved to touch Dean who batted the hand away. “I said, no!” Castiel’s glare intensified and suddenly the lights began flickering as the room was filled with a high pitched ringing that only grew louder. You closed your eyes and covered your ears, curling in on yourself. When the air cleared, you looked up to see that the intruder was gone. Unfortunately, so was Dean. You turned to a clearly annoyed Sam with tears in your eyes. He got up and walked over to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise. Dean’s coming back.” You sniffed and mumbled into Sam’s chest.

“I don’t like that guy.” Sam laughed and shook his head.

“Yeah, he takes some getting used to for sure. But if it weren’t for him, Dean wouldn’t be alive.” Your eyes snapped up in confusion and alarm but Sam just pressed a kiss to your forehead. “This is really a conversation best had after coffee. I believe you were saying something earlier about pancakes?” You nodded and reluctantly allowed Sam to lead you into the kitchen.

* * *

 

“What about that one?” You pointed at a long and tapered cloud. Sam rolled his eyes teasingly.

“Obviously, it’s a submarine.” After breakfast, he had convinced you to join him outside and now the two of you were laying cheek to cheek in the grass looking up at the sky. Dean had yet to return but Sam reassured you that his brother was fine and would be coming back. You missed your other dom and were worried about him but it was nice to have time alone with the younger Winchester. You rolled over to look down at his face, your braid flopping over your shoulder and tickling his chin. He grinned up at you before rolling over as well. Playing absently with a blade of grass, he raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. “You’re taking all of this rather well.” You tilted your head questioningly. “I mean… you’re weirdly calm about everything. I have to admit, I have been nervous about meeting our third for a while. Most people are less than accepting of Dean and I being together. I couldn’t imagine anyone being happy to find out they were tied to incestuous brothers.” He wrinkled his nose at that word as if it had been used as a weapon against him. You leaned back and stared at the submarine cloud, trying to figure out how to phrase your response.

“First of all, I couldn’t care less about you guys being brothers. Honestly, I’m a little jealous. You two have had each other your whole lives, that must have been wonderful. You’re meant to be together and anyone who doesn’t understand can suck it.” You looked over at Sam who was smiling so wide it was almost comical. The connection between you thrummed happily and you wondered if Dean was feeling it wherever he was. “What was it like growing up together?” His smile tightened, the laughter leaving his eyes.

“Dean took good care of me when we were kids. Our upbringing wasn’t the most conventional but we got by.” There was clearly pain underneath his words and you wanted so badly to ease the hurt. You crawled forward and sat side by side with Sam.

“Unconventional upbringings seem to be typical in these circles.” You sighed and stretched your legs out in front of you. “I’m sorry that your childhood was hard, Sam. I’ve heard a little about you and Dean from my uncle and it sounds like your father didn’t let you stay kids.” You ducked your head down in case that topic was off-limits. Sam put his legs out too, leaning back on his elbows.

“Yeah, my dad didn’t really have time for us to be children. It did suck sometimes.” He looked towards the house, smiling fondly. “Dean really tried though. He was always thinking up little games we could play or telling me stories to help me fall asleep. My dad might not have had time to be a parent, but Dean did.” You hummed in thought. Sam turned to you. “What about you? Bobby said that after your dad died, your mom dragged you off to the suburbs or something for a boring normal life.” You smiled bitterly.

“Yeah, ‘or something’ indeed. Mom wasn’t happy about what happened to Dad. They were soulmates and it was like she didn’t know who she was without him.” Your expression darkened. “Uncle Bobby was telling the truth when he said that we moved to the suburbs but our lives were anything but normal. Mom was obsessed with getting her revenge or bringing dad back and it led her down some interesting paths.” A full body shudder passed through you, making Sam frown. “A surprisingly high number of those suburban soccer moms are into witchcraft.” His eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“Your mom is a witch?” You nodded. “Damn….. Does Bobby know?” You shrugged.

“I’m honestly not sure. He knows that she talks to witches and he shut down some drama a few years ago but I think he likes to pretend that his sister is doing the whole white picket fence thing. Makes him feel better.” You toyed with the buttons on the flannel you had stolen from Dean’s bag. “My mom is a lot like her brother. Once she’s got her mind set on something, nothing can really stop her. She’s pretty determined to zombie-fy Dad but is having a hard time finding anything useful. Her friends are less into necromancy and more about sabotaging someone’s bake-sale contribution or fixing their halfwit child’s GPA.” Just as Sam was about to respond, you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Freaking witches, man…” You turned excitedly to see Dean who looked annoyed but not injured. You were up and in his arms almost instantly, Sam quickly joining you. Dean dropped gentle kisses on each of your heads before pulling back to look at his brother. “Everything okay over here? Did you two get that breakfast you were talking about?” Sam nodded.

“Yeah, (Y/N) makes great pancakes.” Dean smiled at you.

“Is that so? Sounds like we lucked out, huh Sammy?” You blushed and wiggled closer to your older dom.

“Are you hungry? I could make you something.” He shook his head and plopped down in the grass the way you and Sam had been before, pulling you both down with him.

“I’ll eat later. Right now, I just want to sit here with you two.” The three of you spent the next few hours trading facts about each other. You learned that Sam was an avid reader with a particular fondness for Tolkein and that Dean loved working with his hands. The boys were eager to file away information about you as well. You told them that you always wanted your coffee iced, even in the dead of winter and that thanks to your father’s love of astronomy, you were fairly skilled at navigating the night sky to find planets and constellations. When the sun was high in the sky, Dean’s stomach growled loudly for the fifth time. You stood up and stretched.

“Alright, it’s lunchtime.” With Sam’s promise to make you the best grilled cheese of your life, the three of you made your way inside, bantering happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no joke-I've posted/deleted this chapter 3 times now. I keep thinking that it's terrible and taking it down. I think this time is good enough to keep? Apologies if anyone has read previous versions!  
> Honestly, what I need to do is to stop typing things up and posting them while under the influence of sleep meds but that would make too much sense.


	6. Is it catching?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets a phone call of her own. Later, biology comes a-knockin' but things go a bit sideways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiancee is at D&D tonight (after a week off) so I might finish chapter 7 tonight too.

“So what was up with that Peeping-Tom/kidnapper dude?” Sam snorted at your description of Castiel and tossed a pair of dusty jeans in the washer. The boys were taking care of a truly dire laundry situation and you were sitting on top of the dryer, enjoying being at eye level with your doms. You slapped his arm playfully. “I’m serious! He seems like a dick but it sounds like there’s some history there.” Dean sniffed a t-shirt and made a face before shoving it at Sam, then sighed as he considered the best way to phrase things.

“Cas wasn’t lying earlier. He is an angel.” He chuckled at your scoff of disbelief and kissed the tip of your nose. “You’re right to call him a dick though. It seems to come with the halo or something because all angels are dicks. Maybe someone poisoned the water up in heaven. Anyway, Cas is a little rough around the edges but he saved me from…..a bad place.” Sam was quick to interrupt, brandishing a sock at Dean.

“Hell, Dean. He saved you from Hell. We’re not keeping any secrets from (Y/N).” You raised an eyebrow.

“Hell? Like literal fire and brimstone, full of pedophiles and used car salesmen Hell?” The brothers nodded and you frowned. “Don’t you usually have to be dead to get into Hell? It doesn’t seem like a place that would welcome tourists.” When neither of your doms would look at you, your heart sank. “Dean? What happened?” You looked him up and down. “You’re not some kind of super fancy ghost, right?” It would be just your luck that you meet your absolutely perfect soulmates only to find out that one of them was actually dead. Sam was quick to reassure you and slipped into rambling.

“No he’s 100% alive, just like I am. We’ve both died but we’re fine now.” You gave Sam your best bitchface to let him know that he wasn’t helping before humming in thought for a moment.

“So….you’re telling me that my two soulmates who just saved me from a werewolf have both risen from the dead and owe it to a rude-ass angel?” They nodded sheepishly and you tipped your head back in disbelief. “Move over, Bella Swan, I’ve got your boring ass beat.” Sam caught the reference and laughed, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah it all sounds insane when you say it out loud.” He shook his head. “Plus, we haven’t even mentioned Lucifer yet.” Knowing this would be a long story, you sat back, absently wishing you had some popcorn.

* * *

 

After you were more or less caught up, or at least as caught up as you could be in one sitting, you sweet-talked your doms into joining you and your uncle in a long overdue continuation of the Ultimate Singer Family Gin Rummy Tournament. Bobby had never been the kind of adult who purposefully let children win so you were unreasonably excited to actually beat him for the very first time. Defeating him at 24 almost made up for all the times you lost to him when you were 9. You were so caught up in your jubilation that you almost missed the sound of your phone ringing. Sam handed it to you, glancing at the caller ID. “It’s your mom.” You groaned loudly and swiped the screen to answer, excusing yourself from the den and heading out to the porch.

“(Y/N) do you have any idea what I have been through? The police called to tell me that you were missing and presumed dead! Are you trying to give your mother a heart attack?” You held the phone a good distance from your ear in an effort to protect yourself from your mother’s shrieking. “Then they tell me about the crime scene. I know what happened there, (Y/N). I thought you were puppy chow! We are going to have a long conversation when you get home. Where are you?” You took a deep breath before answering, knowing she would hate the answer.

“I’m at Uncle Bobby’s, Mom. Don’t worr-”

“YOU’RE WHERE?! You mean to tell me that you narrowly avoid being killed by a monster only to run off to a monster chaser? Why didn’t you come home? Don’t you trust your mother to protect you?” You hesitated, debating whether or not to tell her about your soulmates. She would find out eventually but you had been enjoying the relative privacy that your uncle’s house offered and weren’t ready to introduce another person into the mix.

“Listen Mom, I’m fine. I’m staying here for a little while and I’ll explain everything later. Just trust me please.” You could see Sam and Dean watching you through the window (though they clearly thought they were being sneaky) and ached to get back to them. The low grade sub-stoppers you had been taking while at school had already been wearing off and the steady dose of dom pheromones (combined with your mega drop) had pretty much cleaned them from your system entirely. It wouldn’t be long now before you had to go down and you didn’t want your mother anywhere near you when that happened. “Look, I have to go. I’ll call you soon, okay?” You hung up before she could answer and turned your phone off. You had been actively avoiding thoughts about Dean’s reluctance to complete the bond. His reasoning had made sense at the time but now you weren’t so sure. For the first time, you started to wonder if the brothers were unhappy to have another person in their relationship. Sure, Sam needed a sub but that was a need he could take care of without having to share his dom. And they had been overwhelmingly kind to you but that might just be the hormone rush that comes with meeting a soulmate. That kindness could fade when they realized they didn’t want you anymore. A strange feeling passed through the connection to your soulmates, pulling you from your thoughts, and you were quick to return to the den.

 

Back in the house, Sam was struggling. He was used to going down at least once a week but the case the brothers had been on before finding you had gone on much longer than anticipated and now, nearly 10 days from the last time he went down, he was heading for a drop. Bobby seemed oblivious to the way Sam had gone unusually twitchy, looking around the room distractedly and shifting closer to Dean. The older Winchester noticed the signs though and mentally berated himself. Sam hated dropping, hated the lead up to it. He should have paid more attention to how much time had passed. 

You came back into the room and immediately understood what was happening. The way Sam’s hands were shaking, the erratic pattern of his breathing, it all caused a sympathetic pang in your heart. How Bobby hadn’t picked up on the situation was beyond you. It wasn’t until Sam actually whimpered that Bobby gasped, realization clear on his face. Dean set his jaw, furious with himself for letting Sam go long enough to become so vulnerable that he would be this openly desperate in front of Bobby. He stood and beckoned Sam to come with him. You looked nervously between Dean and your uncle, not sure what you should do. It was clear that Sam needed to go down but you knew that while your uncle was making every effort to be accepting of your situation, he wouldn’t take well to you disappearing into a bedroom with the brothers in the middle of the afternoon. Besides, the boys might want privacy. They hadn’t done anything past kissing with you and it was possible that they weren’t ready. A strange itchiness passed through your bond with the brothers as Sam fell into a deeper state of discomfort. Bobby finally broke the silence.

“Well you kids have near cleaned me out. I think I’ll go to the store for some groceries. Probably be a couple hours…” He coughed nervously before turning to you. “How about you come help me?” You were about to answer when Sam let out a soft sob. Immediately, Dean sent out a thick cloud of pheromones that made both you and Sam melt.

“She’s not going anywhere.” Dean’s voice was lower than you’d ever heard it before and you were glad to not be on the receiving end of the clear threat. Suddenly, Dean was next to you, one hand reached behind him to rest on the back of Sam’s neck. Your uncle grimaced and opened his mouth to speak again but Dean cut him off. “Look, this is happening whether you like it or not. You wouldn’t deny them food or water and this is no different. Subs  _ have  _ to go down to stay healthy, Bobby. You’ve never said anything about me and Sam before so why have things changed?” Your uncle looked at you and was surprised to see the want in your eyes.

“Please?” your quiet request set Sam off again and the echoes of his desperation through the bond pulled a sympathetic neediness from you. Dean was struggling to stay calm and knowing his two subs were working each other up was not helping. Fortunately, Bobby seemed to realize he had lost.

“Alright, do what you need to. Just keep it mellow until I’m gone. I don’t need to hear what the three of you get into.” Taking the snark as all the permission he needed, Dean steered both you and Sam upstairs to the bedroom, gruffly telling Bobby not to hurry back. The older hunter moved quickly, the fear of hearing his pseudo-children being intimate proving a great motivator. Waiting until Bobby left to do anything too intense, Dean sat on the bed with Sam scrunched up in his lap, petting his hair and speaking in a low voice.

“Just a little bit longer, Sammy. You can hold on for me can’t you? You’re doing so well sweet boy. I’m sorry I let it get this bad. It’ll be okay soon. Just keep waiting. There’s my good boy.” By the time Bobby’s car had rumbled away, Sam was starting to float, his pupils blown and his breathing slow and deep. His headspace soothed the itchiness of the bond, flowing through your mind like molasses. Once Dean was sure that your uncle had left, he lowered Sam to lay on the bed and started kissing down from the top of his head to his collarbone, taking his time to make sure that no inch of Sam’s face went untouched. You stood by the locked door, watching the men with a deep sense of longing. Dean started to suck and bite bruises into Sam’s neck, pulling breathy little moans out of the taller man that you were just barely able to keep from echoing. You wanted to give the boys their space. Sure, Dean had made you stay but that didn’t mean that you were welcome to join them. A nasty voice of self-doubt was whispering in the back of your mind.  _ They didn’t want to complete the bond before. Maybe they don’t like girls. Maybe they don’t like  _ **_me_ ** _ …. _ You were so caught up in self-loathing that you almost missed it when Sam responded to Dean’s hard suck on his adam’s apple by moaning your name loudly. Almost.

Dean lifted his head from his brother’s throat and met your eyes with his darkened ones. “What are you doing way over there babygirl?” You bit your lip and shrugged, shifting nervously.

“I didn’t want to get in the way.” Sam came up a little at your words and frowned as if just noticing that you weren’t in the bed with him. He whined loudly and reached out for you. You couldn’t deny your soulmate’s request and came closer, making sure to sit on the edge of the bed so they didn’t have to touch you. Confusion and rejection passed through the bond and Sam whined again. You bit your lip harder, drawing blood. You didn’t want to pull Sam out of a good headspace but you also didn’t want to take advantage of what may be a purely hormonal-driven desire on his part. Dean tugged your lip free with his thumb and frowned at the blood.

“You’re not in the way. What’s wrong, sweetheart?” You avoided his eyes, fighting the tears that were building up.

“Nothing’s wrong, take care of Sam. I’m fine.” By this point, Sam had picked up on the negative emotions running through you and was back to a fairly lucid state. You hated that you had ruined the calm Dean had given him and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to self-soothe. The younger Winchester touched your cheek and coaxed you into looking at him.

“You don’t seem fine. Do you not want to be here? Is it…” He swallowed hard. “Is it because we’re brothers?” You remembered how angrily he had bit out the word  _ ‘incestuous’  _ the day before and your heart ached.

“Of course I want to be here, Sam. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t do anything you’ll regret later.” You couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over. “I’m so glad that I get to be close to the two of you and to have this time together. I know this isn’t what either of you wanted and I’m sorry for intruding on your bond.” Steadying yourself, you faked a smile at the horrified brothers. “I’m here as long as you still want me. Just tell me what to do so I can make you happy.” The last word had barely left your mouth before Dean was kissing you hard. He pulled back and fixed you with an angry stare.

“Do you really think we don’t want you dollface?” You couldn’t help laughing. 

“I’m not stupid, Dean. The two of you are so happy together and so perfect for each other. I know that you would be complete on your own if it weren’t for biology. It’s fine that you don’t want or need a third person around.” Sam opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally finding his voice.

“Why would you think that we aren’t happy to have met you?” You shrugged.

“Logic I guess? You were already a happy couple. You probably aren’t attracted to women. And….you know…” The look on Sam’s face proved he didn’t know. You looked down and spoke the next words quietly, picking at the bedspread. “You didn’t want to complete the bond before.” Sam pulled you close and buried his face in your neck, hot tears spilling on your skin. You patted his head awkwardly, looking at Dean with confusion. “Why is he crying? What did I do wrong?” Dean wrapped his arms around both of you.

“We’re so sorry, babygirl. I’m so sorry. If I had known that waiting would hurt you like this then I would have taken you that first night.” He pulled back just enough to look you dead in the eyes, holding your chin in place so you couldn’t turn away. “I want you. Sam wants you. We are both very much attracted to you and so so so happy that you’re ours. We weren’t complete before you came along and we will never send you away.” Seeing the disbelief in your eyes, he sighed. “(Y/N), please believe me.” You wriggled away and tried to redirect Dean’s focus to what mattered.

“Dean, please forget it for now. Sam needs you. He’s dropping.” Dean chuckled bitterly and reached over to squeeze your arm.

“So are you sweetheart”. What? You weren't dropping, were you? 

Oh...

_ OH…… _

Well shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've already said this but my life is about to go somewhat bananas so things might slow down a bit. I work at a museum and when the kids are out of school, we get CRAZY busy. It's going to be lots of overtime and exhaustion. Basically, either I'll go dead on here until work calms down or I'll use this as a de-stresser. Not sure how that'll play out just yet.
> 
> For more fuckery come tumble with me! nabooliola.tumblr.com


	7. Just Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Reader are spiraling into bad headspaces and Dean finds a way to redirect things to a much more pleasant setting.
> 
> Sex.
> 
> It's sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here goes my first attempt at smut.... Hopefully not too shitty?

Meeting your soulmate was supposed to be happy. Things were supposed to be rainbows and sunshine and yellow brick roads leading to the best sex ever. At least, that’s what you had always thought. You never imagined that this was how things would go. You and Sam were feeding off each other’s negativity and falling down the wrong side of things. You felt for Dean, not able to imagine how it was for him to be faced with both his sub and his switch in such bad headspaces. The dom was failing to hide his emotions the way you knew he would want to, concern creasing his brow and thoughts racing behind his eyes at a million miles a minute. Finally, he seemed to settle on something and let out a long low breath before flooding the room with an intense level of calming pheromones to override the restlessness. You were no stranger to his pheromones at this point but it had never been quite like this. There was a heady edge this time that teased at your nerves. Despite your anxiety, you couldn’t help sinking a little into a happier place. Sam was reacting too and soon the two of you were dragging each other down another road, one full of heat and desire. Dean felt the change in your demeanors and smiled wickedly. He turned dark eyes to you and spoke in a low voice that sent shivers down your spine.

“Here’s what’s going to happen babygirl. You and me are going to get Sammy taken care of, treat him real good.” He winked at his brother. “Then I’m gonna teach him how to take you apart.” Sam swallowed thickly. “Does that sound good?” It sounded amazing and you nodded, eager to show the boys how good you could be.That response wasn’t good enough though. “Sorry darlin’, I didn’t hear an answer.” The order, though veiled, couldn’t be ignored.

“Yes Dean, that sounds very very good.” He grinned and brushed his fingers along your cheek.

“Good girl.” Something twisted deliciously inside you at the praise and you smiled at him with eyes that were already a little hazy. “Do you wanna keep being good for me? Wanna help me make Sammy feel good?” You started nodding again but quickly corrected yourself, remembering that Dean liked verbal answers.

“Yes please! I wanna help!” He leaned in and kissed you before turning to Sam.

“Now what should we do with you?” The switch squirmed under Dean’s thoughtful gaze. “Let’s see…. For starters, you have far too many clothes on sweet boy.” Sam blushed at the pet name but there was no hiding that he liked it. Not with the way his fingers twitched and his pupils grew just that bit more dilated. Dean slowly started working the buttons on his brother’s shirt, taking an obscenely long amount of time to build the anticipation. He loved getting Sam desperate and begging and it was particularly fun when he could accomplish this goal without touching anything overly erogenous. The overshirt finally unbuttoned and discarded, Dean took your hands and put them at the hem of Sam’s t-shirt. “I want you to get this off of him slowly, okay baby? When you see new skin, you’re going to lick it and bite it and get him all worked up for me.” He brushed a hand over Sam’s belly, still covered by the shirt. “You’re gonna help me wreck him.” The idea was heady and you were delighted to start. The first swipe of your tongue along Sam’s torso had him gasping and Dean was quick to praise you as he stripped himself down to just underwear. “Good girl, keep going.” Obeying that order was overwhelmingly easy. You quickly fell in love with the trembling of Sam’s muscles as he fought to stay still and the soft moans he kept choking back. When you dipped your tongue teasingly into his belly button, he couldn’t contain his reaction and groaned loudly. Dean placed his hands on Sam’s hip and held him in place as he strained to thrust against your leg for friction. You could see the thick outline of what looked to be a truly massive cock through his jeans and your mouth watered. By the time you’d made it to his nipples, Sam was gasping. A bite on one of the tight nubs had him crying out and fighting harder in his brother’s hold. Dean took pity and removed Sam’s shirt the rest of the way, reaching down to unzip his jeans as well. As Sam kicked off his pants and underwear, you got your first glimpse of his impressive cock. He was so hard it looked almost painful and you wanted so badly to kiss it better.

“Dean?” You didn’t look away from the length between Sam’s legs. “Can I….Can I?” The older Winchester smirked.

“Can you what baby?” You shivered again. Fuck these boys and their pet names.

“Can I please give Sammy a special kiss?” You looked up at Sam through your lashes. “I would really like to taste him.” Sam made a broken sound and turned to Dean imploringly. The dom made a long show of considering before eventually cooing a reply.

“You wanna suck him? Wanna wrap those pretty lips around his cock?” Dean suddenly didn’t seem to mind that you were nodding instead of offering a verbal response. “Tell you what honey. You can suck him but you can’t make him cum.” He met Sam’s wide eyes. “Hear that sweet boy? (Y/N)’s going to take you in her mouth but you don’t have permission to cum.” Sam straightened and nodded. Dean smiled at him with unbridled love in his eyes. “Good boy. Do you remember what to say if it’s too much? Can you say it now so (Y/N) knows it? Sam nodded.

“Impala, Sir. If I can’t  keep going I say impala.” Your breath hitched at the dreamy quality to Sam’s voice. He was floating nicely now which was a relief. Dean ran strong fingers through Sam’s hair.

“That’s right gorgeous boy. I’m so glad you remember. Thank you for telling me and (Y/N).” Sam flushed under the praise and Dean chuckled before pushing him to lay back. He propped a pillow in between Sam’s long legs for you to support yourself on and started guiding your head down but stopped and tapped your temple to get you to look up at him. “Babygirl, have you done this before?” You blushed and nodded. Sub-stoppers weren’t ideal for long term use so every six months or so you would go off them for a week and meet with a professional dom. Fellatio was a common request of theirs and while none of the doms you had seen before were anywhere near as large as Sam, you felt fairly confident in your ability to make him feel good even if your deep-throating skills were somewhat lacking..

“I have but never someone so big.” You saw Sam’s embarrassed smile at the comment. “I don’t know if I can take him all at once.” Dean ran a hand up his brother’s thigh.

“That’s okay sweetheart, you have plenty of time to learn. I’m sure Sammy will be happy to teach you.” His fingers danced closer to where Sam wanted them but not moving those final centimeters. “Won’t you sweet boy? You wanna teach your girl how to take you all the way down?” Sam was crying a little at this point, stoking the fire of Dean’s arousal. Dean rested his chin on Sam’s stomach and led you back to your goal. “How about you start by using that pretty pink tongue to get him nice and wet?” He watched with hooded eyes as you began bathing Sam’s cock in tiny kitten licks. Once you had laved every inch of Sam’s cock, you licked a long stripe from the base to the tip and took the head into your mouth. Sam’s hips jerked and Dean was quick to hold them down, cooing soothingly to the switch. “Easy baby boy. You’ve gotta be gentle with (Y/N). I’ll bet she’s making you feel real good, huh?” Sam moaned and nodded, slamming his head back against the pillow when you started swirling your tongue around the head of his cock and sucking.

“So good, Sir.” You blushed at the knowledge that you were doing well and dipped your tongue in the slit to taste his precum before taking more of his length into your mouth, humming at the taste. You had never particularly enjoyed sucking cock before but this was a new experience. Every pleasured noise that you wrangled out of Sam stroked something deep inside of you and you wanted to chase that feeling. The boys seemed full of praise and you had always been a sucker for being told you were good. You sucked hard as you dragged your head back up, letting Sam’s cock fall from your mouth completely before swallowing him back down, a little farther this time. Sam let out a garbled sob and you started bobbing your head, taking a bit more down every few strokes or so. When you felt his cockhead at your throat, you hesitated for a moment before slowly moving forward. You pulled off him with a cough, gagging and angry with yourself. Before you could force yourself to try again, Dean stopped your movements.

“Easy there doll, don’t hurt yourself. You’re already doing so so good. Don’t worry if you can’t get him all down today. Why don’t you take what feels comfortable and use your hands on the rest?” You squirmed at the low crooning and nodded, drawing Sam’s cock into your mouth to the point where it just barely teased at your throat. You started to bob and twist your head again, hands working at what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Sam let out a muffled moan and you glanced up at his face, groaning at the sight of him sucking on Dean’s fingers. Not much time passed before Sam was writhing in Dean’s grip, pulling off his fingers with a gasp.

“Gonna cum!” You let his cock go with a loud pop and sat back on your heels to watch Dean’s reaction.

“Yeah baby boy? You close to cumming?” Sam nodded frantically. “Good boy Sammy, so good for telling us and stopping.” Sam whined low in his throat.

“Please Dean, Sir. Please please can I cum?” Dean clicked his tongue and drew his fingers, still wet from Sam’s mouth, down to his entrance.

“I suppose you could come now….. But don’t you want to wait so you can cum with me inside you? I know you like that better Sammy. Like having something to squeeze on.” Dear Lord this boys were hot. You were fairly certain that the panties you were wearing had soaked through ages ago and you watched with rapt attention as, at Sam’s nod, Dean began teasing at his brother’s hole.”Let’s get you opened up baby. Let (Y/N) see how pretty you are all stretched out and begging to be fucked.” Dean leaned down and began tonguing at Sam’s ass, pressing a single finger inside. Sam’s moan was filthy and you were torn between the desire to watch Dean open his brother up or shushing Sam with a kiss. Dean looked over at you and winked, pulling back to add a second finger. “You should see your girl Sammy. She’s loving this. You’re putting on such a good show for her.” Sam’s eyes opened and locked with yours just as Dean brushed at his sweet spot.

“Fuck! Please Dean I can’t wait anymore. Please fuck me!” Dean hummed and worked a third finger in, knowing that the stretch would burn a little just like Sammy liked it. The switch twisted in the sheets and begged louder and damn if that wasn’t one of the sexiest things you’d ever seen. Finally, Dean reached for the bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer and poured some out, warning it in his hand before smearing it on his cock. He raised an eyebrow in your direction.

“Alright Sammy, since you asked so nicely. You’re going to take my cock now and (Y/N) is going to go back to sucking you.” Sam sobbed at the idea of the dual stimulation and you licked your lips. Dean waited for you to get settled where you needed to be before slowly pushing into his brother. As soon as Dean had breached Sam’s entrance, you sucked him back into your mouth, using all the techniques you had learned that he liked. Lewd, wet noises filled the room and Sam’s moans climbed higher as you and Dean worked him to the edge. It wasn’t long before he was begging to cum. Dean smirked. “Are you sure you want to cum baby boy? We’re not going to stop until I’m done.” Sam nodded, past words at that point. “Alright Sammy, you can cum.” Dean’s words of permission were your only warning before Sam was cumming hard into your mouth. You swallowed down as much as you could and Dean leaned over to lick up what had escaped. “So good, both of you. How did I get lucky enough to have such perfect subs?” True to his word, he didn’t slow his thrusts and Sam sobbed at the continued stimulation on his prostate. Dean was breathing hard now, gripping Sam’s hips tightly and letting his thrusts grow more erratic as he barreled down to his own orgasm, groaning out both of your names as he came. He collapsed next to Sam, careful to avoid falling on you, and kissed away the tears Sam had cried in his desperation before. “Beautiful baby boy. You are so good for me Sammy. I bet that feels better now, huh?” He kept whispering soft praises to his brother, bringing him back up. When the fog had cleared from Sam’s eyes, Dean grinned. “Are you ready to play with your girl now? Ready to call the shots?” As the brothers looked at you with heat in their eyes, you couldn’t help whimpering and rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to soothe the growing ache between them. Dean disappeared for a moment and came back with a wet cloth, cleaning himself and Sam off while you watched. Unable to stand the pent up desire anymore, you reached to tease at your nipples. Sam practically growled, lunging forward and holding your face in his hands while he kissed you, tasting himself on your tongue.You keened and scooted forward, straddling his lap and tangling your fingers in his hair. Dean watched the two of you move against each other with a filthy smile. “Alright big boy, where do you want her?” Sam chuckled and ran his thumb over your lip, eyes darkening when you sucked it into your mouth.

“I think before we do much else, we need to get this” he tugged at your sundress “off.” Dean agreed and slowly unzipped you,delighting in each new bit of exposed skin and lifted the fabric over your head. Once you were free of your dress, Sam thumbed at your nipples through the lace of your bra. You keened and grinded against his lap, needing more friction. Sam grabbed your hips quickly to hold you still. “Slow down babygirl, we’ll get there.” You fought to keep still, fascinated in the way Sam had shifted his behavior. You had never considered the possibility of being mated to a switch before and it was surprisingly attractive to know that the man currently driving you to distraction had been a needy mess only minutes earlier. Dean clucked sympathetically.

“Oh sweetheart is Sammy teasing you?” You nodded at Dean with an exaggerated pout. Dean nibbled at the back of your neck and ran featherlight touches down your arms with the tips of his fingers. “Poor baby. Is she wet, Sammy?” Sam grunted an affirmative from where he was focused on mouthing over your bra. You whined and wriggled in their hold, needing someone to turn up the intensity before you exploded. “Let’s show him where you need to be touched dollface.” Dean moved to sit back against the headboard with you leaned against him, hooking your legs over his and spreading them. Your arousal hadn’t left him unaffected and despite just having cum, his cock was already beginning to show interest, twitching half hard against your back. Dean winked at Sam and unhooked the clip at the front of your bra, exposing your breasts to the switch’s hungry gaze. You cried out loudly when Sam quickly pulled a pebbled nipple into his mouth, pinching the other between his fingers. Dean held you still and cooed praise in your ear. “There you go sweetie, is Sammy giving you nice kisses? Look at you all spread out for us. Such a good girl. I can’t wait to see you stuffed full of cock. You looked so pretty with Sam’s cock in your mouth and I’m sure you’ll look even prettier once he’s wrapped up in that sweet little pussy.” Your breathy little mewls spurred the brothers on and Sam slowly started kissing down your body to where you needed him most. With a feral glint in his eyes, he ripped your panties apart to get at you. You had liked that pair and would have been annoyed if he hadn’t chosen that next moment to lick a long stripe up the length of your folds, circling your clit. The cry he pulled from you was high and Dean had to work to hold you down. When Sam attacked your pussy with his lips and tongue and the barest hint of teeth, Dean resumed his filthy whispers in your ear. “Oh those are _very_ nice kisses aren’t they little girl?” He kept one arm wrapped tight around your middle and used his other hand to toy with one of your abandoned nipples. “Does that feel good honey? Is Sammy gonna make you cum?” You nodded, hoping he wouldn’t make you wait. “Let go, sweetheart. Let us see you.” Sam teased a finger at your entrance and sucked your clit into his mouth. You wailed with the force of your orgasm, hands scrambling at Dean’s thighs as your legs tried to close around Sam’s head. When your high subsided, Sam lifted his face, adding a second finger inside you and stroking your walls gently as he sat up. Dean licked his brother’s face clean of your wetness and groaned. “How are you so sweet babygirl?” You mumbled a non-answer, floating too far to form real words. Sam kissed your cheek before crooking his fingers to brush against your gspot and you stiffened. That was a new sensation. You weren’t a virgin by any means but outside of the professional doms (who were almost clinical in their approach), your only experiences had been clumsy fumbles with a friend when you were fifteen. No one had ever touched you in a way that made you quiver like that. You blinked up at Sam, trying to communicate how you were feeling through the bond since words had left you. He tapped that magic spot again and smiled sweetly at you.

“Thank you for trusting us sweetheart. You did so good. I think you’ve earned a reward.” You blinked up at him questioningly and he nuzzled your nose. “Do you want Dean to fuck you baby? Want him to stretch you out and get you nice and ready for me?” You moaned loudly in agreement and sat up to mouth at Sam’s jaw. The new angle gave his fingers more leverage and you gasped at the intense pleasure. Sam chuckled and wrapped his other arm around your waist so you could roll your hips experimentally. You felt Dean move over from behind you and Sam laid you down in the pillows, letting his fingers slip out of you. Dean was quick to lick Sam’s fingers clean before climbing over your flushed body.

“You ready for me babygirl?” Dean ran his large hands up and down your sides, watching your face carefully. You mewled and tilted your hips towards his. He grinned at your movements. “Alright sweetheart, I’ll give you what you need.” He slowly pressed into you, hissing at the tight grip. “Damn baby I’m not going to last with you feeling this good already.” He fucked you much more gently than he had Sam, leaning down to kiss you deeply, swallowing your moans. You wrapped your legs around his waist to make him drive deeper. Dean might not have been as big as Sam but he was still a considerable size, stretching you deliciously. When a calloused thumb came down to worry at your clit, you spasmed. Dean swore at the sensation of your walls fluttering around him and bit at your shoulder. “So good sweetheart. I’m gonna cum soon. Want me to cum inside you?” You weren’t able to get any kind of answer because the thought of him spilling inside you had set off your second orgasm. He let out a punched ‘ _fuck’_ and came hot and hard inside you. You smiled up at him dreamily, in a deep floating headspace. Beside you, Sam was fully hard again and wanting. As soon as Dean pulled out, Sam pulled closer, helping you straddle him.

“You’re doing so well for us baby, so so so good. Do you think you can ride me now? Dean get you nice and loosened up?” You nodded and situated yourself above Sam’s cock. Slowly, you lowered your body down, letting the hard length disappear into you. Once he was all the way inside, you let out the breath you hadn’t been aware of holding and started to twist in his lap. Sam’s hands came to your hips and he snapped up into you. “(Y/N) you feel so good.” You preened and let Sam control your bouncing, Dean’s cum mixing with your wetness to make every thrust loud and wet. You were rapidly approaching another orgasm and knew that after cumming again you would be fucked out. Fortunately, Sam was close too. Wanting to cum together, he released one of his hands to tease your now overly sensitive clit. The stimulation was painfully exquisite and you shouted the brothers’ names as you came again, Sam squeezing your hip and crying out his orgasm. The bond between the three of you thrummed and expanded before snapping into place, finally complete. You were suddenly able to feel the boys much more clearly and collapsed into Sam’s arms. He wrapped an arm around you, Dean curling in from the other side. Laying there with your doms, you suddenly felt very silly for your panic earlier. You started to mumble an apology but Dean pressed a finger to your lips.

“Shh babygirl, we know. It’s okay.” Happy with his reassurance, you closed your eyes and burrowed deeper into their arms. Later, they would clean the stickiness from your thighs and kiss the bruises Sam’s fingers had left on your hips. For now, the three of you were content to lay there and just feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fiancee is so mad that I won't let him read this. Especially now that I've out of nowhere blurted out "Is this too much sex? How much sex is correct? This feels like a lot of sex."
> 
> Hi I'm an asshat.


	8. Roadtrip!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio continue getting to know each other, Bobby gets an eyeful, and reader is a little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really surprised and grateful and excited by the attention this fic is getting. You are all lovely and I wish I could give you all cookies or something. Comments and kudos make me blush for a stupid amount of time XD.

You squinted at the sudden brightness in the room. Before you could register what was going on, your uncle’s angry voice rang out. “Get your ass outta bed missy!” Your boys were quick to react, Dean shouting back while Sam shielded his and your eyes until the lights were less offensive.

“What the hell Bobby? You give all your houseguests this kind of wakeup call?”

“I do when those guests are the reason I wake up to angry phone calls from my freaking sister!” You groaned at the mention of your mother and pressed your face into Sam’s shoulder. “She actually accused me of killing you (Y/N)! You can’t just ignore her!” You sighed and sat up to answer your uncle, not realizing that this action would cause you to flash him. The squawking sound Bobby made at the sight of your naked breasts would have been hilarious if you weren’t so mortified. Dean dissolved into barking laughs while Sam hastened to cover you with a blanket. Family or not, he didn’t want _anyone_ seeing what belonged to him. With cheeks redder than his hair, Bobby fled the room, shouting at you to get dressed and meet him in the kitchen. Dean hopped out of bed and closed the door, still laughing. You moved to get out of bed too but Sam held you back.

“Hang on (Y/N) I have to do something.” He flipped you onto your back and pinned you down. Before you could ask him what he was doing, he attacked your right breast, sucking and biting a dark bruise into your skin. As soon as that breast was marked he moved to the other one. Once he was satisfied with his work, he let you go and gestured to the dresser. “Alright, you’re free to go.” You rolled your eyes while you selected some underwear and a pair of jeans.

“I didn’t have you pegged as the possessive type Sam.” He shrugged and got up as well, grinning smugly at his marks sticking out the top of your bra.

“I just had to make sure that you and everyone else can see who you belong to.” You turned to Dean to complain, only to see him sheepishly holding out one of his shirts for you to wear.

“Seriously Dean? You too?” He pulled the worn shirt over your head, sweeping your hair out from under the collar.

“Sorry sweetheart but can you really blame us? Just look at how pretty you are. Who wouldn’t want you for themselves? You’re lucky we don’t lock you up somewhere no one else can see.” You sighed in exasperation and pulled your hair into a loose bun.

“Alright cavemen, let’s go.”

  


 

 

Breakfast was an awkward affair with your uncle refusing to look up from his oatmeal. Dean’s barely concealed snickers certainly weren’t helping matters. Just when you were considering the logistics of drowning yourself in your own bowl, Sam cleared his throat. “So Bobby, before you saw-” Bobby nearly choked on his coffee to interrupt.

“I didn’t see anything boy!” Dean snorted and you smacked his arm. Sam shot both of you a warning look before continuing.

“Okay…..before you didn’t see what you didn’t see….. You were saying something about (Y/N)’s mother?” Bobby nodded and lifted his head to speak carefully to the air above your ear.

“Your mom says that you hung up on her two days ago and haven’t been answering any calls since. She’s not really my biggest fan, you know? Thinks I’ve taken you off to kill a werewolf with a stick or something.” You rolled your eyes. That sounded like your mother.

“Right because she wouldn’t be trying to get me to work some kind of curse or other witchy nonsense.” Bobby sipped his coffee, relaxing a bit as the conversation pulled his thoughts away from the horrible incident that morning.

“I never said she wouldn’t. She is right about one thing though, you need to go back to Ann Arbor soon.” Dean’s laughter stopped abruptly and Sam’s spoon clattered noisily to the table as the bond flooded with anger.

“She’s not going anywhere near that house.” You took a bite of your oatmeal and thought for a moment.

“No, she’s got a point. I still have things to pack and books to return. We were supposed to be completely moved out by the tenth. Besides, I’m sure there’s some kind of police investigation about the attack. I probably need to think up a story about a wild animal coming into the house.”. Dean shook his head.

“Sam and I can drive down and get your things and the police can come here or talk to you over the phone. There’s no reason for-” He fell silent at the icy terror you were unknowingly broadcasting from the idea of your boys going into the house. Your mind was racing, images of your soulmates dying like your roommates playing behind your eyes. You knew that your doms were strong but you had seen what that thing was capable of. What if it attacked Dean from behind like it had Jennifer? What if it was Sam’s body torn to pieces on the stairs? A hard wall of pheromones hit you and yanked you from your thoughts. The brothers were pushing feelings of comfort and safety through the bond, leading you back to reality. You grabbed Sam’s hand and buried your face in Dean’s neck.

“Please don’t go there. It could come back.” Dean smiled sadly at your mumbled plea.

“Sammy and I can hold our own against a wolf sweetheart. Someone has to go get your things.” Sam squeezed your hand.

“What if all of us go down to talk to the police and we hire a moving company to pack up your stuff?” You weighed his suggestion in your mind.

“You guys won’t go in the house?” He shook his head and Dean dropped a quick kiss to your brow.

“If you don’t want us to go in there then we won’t baby.” You bit your lip before nodding slowly.

“I guess that’s doable.” You looked over to where your uncle was staring intently at the wall, his face flushed again. “Can we come back here after?” He coughed and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Try to cool it on the PDA though. And get some damn jammies!” Dean chuckled and slung an arm around your shoulder.

“I don’t know if I can promise that.” The older hunter scowled and plucked a raisin from his oatmeal to throw at Dean’s nose.

“Idjit…”

 

 

* * *

 

You waved goodbye to your uncle as Dean started up the engine. As nervous as you were about going back to Michigan, it would be nice to have 12 hours of uninterrupted time with the boys. You sent your mother a text to let her know when you would be arriving and sat back. The brothers seemed excited as well if the bubbly feelings passing through the bond were anything to go by. Dean met your eyes in the rearview mirror.

“What kind of music do you like sweetheart?” You shrugged.

“I’m not super picky. I’ll tell you if I don’t like something.” He nodded and fumbled with the radio controls for a moment before settling on a classic rock station. When you didn’t give a veto, he turned the volume up a bit and started humming along quietly. Sam turned to smile at you from the passenger seat. He had offered to join you in the back but you knew that his long legs would cramp up if he sat there. You made a big show of stretching out and appreciating all of the space you had to yourself. He rolled his eyes and turned back around. For the first two or three hours the three of you bantered about unimportant things, favorite colors and places you had always wanted to visit. After a while though, you hesitantly broached a touchier subject. “So…..end of the world, huh? That sounds less than ideal.” The atmosphere of the car changed with both brothers shifting nervously. Sam was the first to speak.

“It’s definitely something that we’d like to avoid. Right now we’re just figuring out how to do it in a way that gets us out alive.” Anxiety filled you and spilled over to the brothers.

“That would be my preference.” Dean unlocked his jaw and met your eyes in the mirror again.

“We’re not going anywhere sweetheart. There’s no way we’d leave you. Ever.” You nodded and curled up a bit, playing with the hem of the old band tee your older dom had dressed you in. When your negative feelings persisted, Dean and Sam exchanged a look before the older Winchester pulled over so Sam could move to the backseat. He took your hands in his and released some pheromones to try and soothe the nasty emotions clawing at your heart.

“Dean’s right. I know this is scary but trust me when I say that we aren’t going to let anything separate us. I know that we’ve only known you for a few days but I already can’t imagine being without this.” You scooted as close to being on his lap as possible while keeping your seatbelt fastened and bumped your nose against the underside of his jaw.

“I can’t either.” You bit your lip before finally saying what you had been thinking since that night on the porch swing. “I know it’s ridiculous to say it this early but I think I love you. Both of you.” Sam squeezed your hands and Dean couldn’t contain the joy and surprise that seeped from his mind to yours.

“It’s not ridiculous babygirl. I know that I love you. So does Sammy.” The switch nodded enthusiastically and kissed the top of your head. The bond was flooded with love and you leaned up to get a proper kiss. What started as a fairly chaste exchange quickly turned to a make-out session and after a few minutes of watching his subs, Dean grunted in frustration.

“Hey, no car sex! It’s dangerous to distract the driver!” You and Sam smirked at each other and separated. You waited until Dean had relaxed a bit before teasing him with whispers of arousal through the bond. You knew Sam was doing the same thing next to you and Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened. “You two are playing with fire.” You met his gaze with darkened eyes.

“Sure am. You gonna do anything about it?” He growled and checked the clock. You were making good time and could probably spare forty minutes or so.

“Just you wait dollface.” Dean took the next exit to an empty rest stop. “I’m going to do plenty.” You grinned happily and sat back, waiting for the fun to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cat would like to add the following: 34;’/33333333;  
> She had suggested it for the last chapter but I didn't think it really fit the tone. Maybe I was wrong.


	9. Meet Lorraine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys try to charm reader's mother before returning to Bobby's for one hell of a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I lied earlier. This is more season 5ish than 4ish. I fuck with timelines. Sue me.

It was with rumpled hair and a pleasantly sore behind that you exited the car. Your mother was meeting you at a 24 hour diner off campus. Little did she know, you were bringing two men along to meet her. You had spent the last hour of the trip coaching them on what to say to your mother but couldn’t shake the nerves. Sam wrapped an arm  around your waist.

“Calm down (Y/N), it’s going to be fine.” You tried to relax but froze when you saw her old subaru parked near the door.

“Sure, it’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m introducing my mother-an actual witch-to my two hunter soulmates. No one is going to flip their shit at all.” Dean patted your bottom, still stinging a little from the playful spanks he had delivered earlier.

“Sammy and I promise to keep our shit right-side-up.” You swatted his arm with a reproachful glare. Now was not the time for sass. He offered you a cheeky grin and held the door open. “Lead the way babydoll.” You slowly guided the brothers to a corner booth where you mother was eyeing them suspiciously over her cup of tea. Sam approached her first with a polite smile.

“You must be Lorraine. I’m Sam Winchester, it’s nice to meet you.” He extended a hand for her to shake but she didn’t take it, instead setting her cup down and stirring the contents. Sam’s face fell and he stepped back, confusion and anxiety flowing through the bond. Your older dom cleared his throat.

“My name is Dean. (Y/N)’s told us so much about you.” Your mother continued to ignore the men, turning her gaze to you.

“(Y/N), how lovely of you to finally show up.” She patted the spot next to her. “Sit. We have so much to discuss.” You stayed standing.

“Mom, this is Sam and Dean. They’re my soulmates.” She sniffed in dismissal.

“That’s nice dear. Now would you like to explain why you disappeared and ignored me?” Dean slid into the seat across from her with Sam nervously settling in at his brother’s side and hiding his face behind a menu.

“That would be our fault. (Y/N) called us the night of the attack and we went to get her. We’ve been staying at Bobby’s ever since.” She sneered at the older brother.

“And why exactly would she call you instead of her own mother?” She rolled her eyes at where you were still standing and snapped. “I said sit down (Y/N)!” You hastened to obey, sitting on the edge of the seat and brushing your foot against Sam’s. Dean sent a wave of reassurance through the bond, trying to instill you and Sam with confidence.

“You know it was a werewolf that attacked?” Your mother nodded sharply. “Well Sam and I are hunters. Your brother gave (Y/N) my number in case of emergencies.” She gasped and fixed you with a scandalized glare.

“Hunters, (Y/N)? Really? How could you do this to me?” You resisted the urge to slam your head down on the table and took a deep breath. Fortunately, a waitress chose that moment to come by. Sam ordered slices of pie for the three of you while your mother simply requested more tea. After the waitress walked away, your mother hissed at you angrily. “If it weren’t for hunters, you would still have a father! I would still have a husband! Now you’re asking me to sit idly by while they take you away from me?”

“Whoa, who said anything about taking her away?” Sam held up placating hands. “We’re not kidnappers!” Your mother scoffed.

“No, you’re hunters. You run headfirst into danger and make reckless decisions without caring about who gets hurt.” Dean bristled at the accusation.

“That might be how some hunters work but we always have a plan. Sam and I take our safety seriously.” The waitress returned with your food and Sam waited until she walked away to give your mother his best puppy-dog eyes.

“I know that you’ve had some bad experiences with hunters in the past but please believe us when we say that we would do anything to keep your daughter safe. I don’t know what we would do if anything happened to her.” Your mother seemed marginally impressed by his conviction.

“So you would quit hunting?” You nearly choked on your food in surprise. “After all, it's a dangerous profession. Losing a soulmate would certainly hurt (Y/N). If you truly mean that you would do anything to keep her safe, you would give up such a risky passtime.” Dean rested a hand on Sam's shoulder.

“Sammy here has been studying law at Stanford. He's taking a break to deal with some family stuff but we're hoping to get him back soon.” Sam's surprise and confusion shot through your mind but he kept a good poker face. Your mother considered this information for a moment.

“And what about you? Do you have any ambitions outside of chasing down monsters?” Dean chuckled though you could feel that he was hurt by her cruel words.

“I’m a mechanic by trade. Your brother actually taught me a lot of what I know.” He fixed your mother with his most charming smile. Unfortunately she was less than impressed.

“Well I can’t say that I’m pleased by this development.” Her voice dripped with disappointment and the coldness in her eyes made your stomach twist. “I suppose I’ll give you a chance. Just know that I have found a way to survive with a dead soulmate and I’m more than capable of helping (Y/N) do the same if necessary. I’m sure she has told you of my abilities?” When the boys nodded, she smirked. “So you know that I am not someone you want to anger.” Sam nodded again earnestly.

“We have no intentions of angering you ma’am. Your daughter is an amazing woman and we only want to make her happy.” Despite the stress you were feeling, Sam’s declaration made you blush and squirm, happy feelings bubbling through you to the boys. Emboldened, you addressed your mother.

“They do make me happy, Mom. I’m happier now than I can ever remember being. Please don’t make me fight you on this.” You could tell that she was starting to break and went in for the kill. “I’m not some silly naive girl Mom. I won’t let myself be taken advantage of. You raised me better than that.” A small smile graced her features and she set her cup down.

“Alright (Y/N)..... I trust you. You on the other hand” She fixed the brothers with a hard stare. “You will need to impress me. I expect that the next time we meet you will both have normal and respectable jobs. If I find out that you’re carting my daughter around on monster hunts, you won’t be happy with my reaction.” Your doms nodded seriously and stood when she did. This time, she shook each of their hands before kissing your cheek. Dean waved away her offer to pay for her tea, walking her to the door while you and Sam waited side by side in the booth. When the older Winchester came back, he slid into the seat across from you, smiling smugly.

“See Babe? Easy peezy.” You laughed and shook your head, leaning against Sam.

“It certainly went better than I had expected.” You rolled your eyes at the fake offence the brothers were broadcasting. “She doesn’t really like anyone. This was very nice for her. Though it wouldn’t be a bad idea to check your pockets Dean.” He raised his eyebrows, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a hex bag. You snatched it up and examined the contents, relieved that it wasn’t anything overly malicious.

“Well she’s not out to kill you. This would just give you some nasty pimples.” You considered the ingredients again. “A really big one right between the eyes.” Looking up at their surprised faces, you snorted. “She used to make me build these with her after school. I know my way around a hex bag.” While the brothers decided how to react to that information, you swiped your finger through the whipped cream on Dean’s pie and plopped it on Sam’s nose. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to go all wicked on you. Witchcraft isn’t really my jam.” You leaned forward and licked the cream off Sam’s nose with a giggle. “I’m a good girl, I promise!” Sam blushed and Dean snorted, knowing that the switch was thinking up all the ways to corrupt you.

 

* * *

 

 

With the handful of boxes containing your belongings safely stowed away in the trunk, and the three of you checked out of the crappy little motel you had stayed in, you and the boys set off for your uncle’s house. It occurred to you that you would need to downsize. From what you had heard, this car was the closest thing that the boys had to a home and it didn’t have much in the way of closet space. That said, maybe the three of you would settle down somewhere. Sure, things were crazy now but if your boys suceeded and were able to save the world (something you had complete faith in), maybe they would want to stop traveling. You could get a house, a dog, maybe have kids…. After all, it sounded like Sam wasn’t in love with hunting. You were pulled from your thoughts when the music Dean had been playing stopped suddenly. You looked into the rearview mirror where both brothers were staring at you.

“Sure are quiet back there kitten. What’s got you thinking so hard?” You blushed at the pet name, Dean smirking when he felt the effect that one had on you.

“Just something you said back at the diner. Was Sam actually going to Stanford or were you just telling her what she would want to hear?” Things got weirdly quiet and you could tell you had struck a nerve. You pushed feelings of comfort through the bond in response to their unease and Sam’s lips turned up in a small smile before he answered.

“I was going to school for a while. Dean came and got me when our dad went missing and I haven’t been back since.” Dean’s jaw tightened and he hit the accelerator a bit harder. “When I left for Stanford….. It was bad. I was feeling trapped, like my destiny had already been decided. I think Stanford was an escape more than anything else. I’m not sure if I really want to be a lawyer.” He looked out the window and sighed. “Now I’m more worried about fixing the mess I’ve started than I am law school.”  Sharp pain passed through the three of you at Sam’s mention of the apocalypse and Dean was quick to interject.

“You didn’t start anything Sammy. I’m the one that broke the first seal. If anyone’s to blame for this it’s me.” The brothers’ guilt was overwhelming, each of them convinced they were the one in the wrong. All the negativity was giving you a headache-not to mention a heartache-and you cleared your throat.

“I would argue that both of you got shoved into this situation and reacted the best way you could. This is all way above all of our heads and there’s no way you could have known what your actions would lead to. None of this is your fault.” You knew their guilt  and self-loathing went way below the surface to a place that you wouldn’t be able to reach with words alone. Hopefully the emotions behind your words would have some kind of impact, even a small one. The three of you fell into a comfortable silence, passing feelings of comfort and happiness and the beginnings of love back and forth. Suddenly, Sam’s end of the bond flared and he made a noise of surprise.

“I don’t feel trapped anymore.” When you and Dean just looked at him in confusion he laughed. “Before I left for school I was feeling trapped and angry. That feeling didn’t go away while I was gone and it didn’t go away when we started looking for Dad.” A brief flash of embarrassment was detectable at the admission but Sam elaborated quickly. “In fact, the first time I remember that feeling going away was when we made this drive before.”  Understanding filled your mind, frustrating Dean. Before he could get too unhappy, Sam explained. “It’s hormones. I wasn’t mad about hunting...well I was a little bit but it wasn’t the main thing. I needed a sub.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Of course you did Sammy! We talked about this.” You could tell this was an old argument and tuned out, secretly delighting in the knowledge that you made Sam happy and stupidly being angry with yourself for not helping him sooner somehow. Another woman’s name snapped you back into the conversation. “Didn’t Jess help? She was a sub.” Sam shrugged.

“She might have helped a little. I feel kind of bad for her because she was in way over her head. She didn’t realize that she would have to teach me how to take her down.” He tilted his head when he felt a burst of jealousy from the backseat. “Don’t worry sweetheart, she was a professional sub. I don’t want anyone other than you and Dean.” The answer was satisfactory. After all, it would be a little hypocritical of you to get hung up on Sam hiring a sub when you had done the same with service doms. As selfish as it was, you found yourself hoping a little bit that this Jess girl had been as unsatisfying for Sam as the professional doms had been for you. Picking up on your trail of thought, Sam turned to look at you. “She was nowhere near as sweet as you. Being with her may have helped stabilize my hormones but it felt wrong. She didn’t fit, y’know? She wasn’t you.” Dean groaned at the sickeningly sweet turn the conversation had taken.

“Something tells me I’m in for a lifetime of sappiness with you two.” There was an undercurrent of fondness to his voice though and you knew that he wasn’t nearly as annoyed by the warm fuzzies as he might want you to believe.

 

 

 

 

 

Several hours later, you were chewing on gummy worms and watching as families played in Lake Okabena. Dean had made a stop in Chicago for gas and snacks. Sam hummed in the front seat as he flipped through the newspaper he had picked up.

“I think I found a case right in Bobby’s town.” Dean turned to him in interest. “It says here that a man was murdered by-get this-a guy who’s been dead for five years.” Dean tilted his head in interest.

“That sure sounds like our kind of party.” He met your eyes in the mirror. “What do you say kitten? We’ll drop you off at your uncle’s and go check it out?” He reached into the backseat to steal a gummy worm. “I promise we’ll be careful.”  You chewed nervously on your bottom lip and looked back and forth between the brothers.

“You’ll come back?” Dean scoffed.

“Come on babygirl what do you take us for? Of course we’ll come back. It’ll take more than some dead guy to slow us down.” You could feel the honesty under all his bravado and nodded.

“Alright you should probably go see what’s up.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dean chuckled at your Uncle when he opened the door. “Bobby did you comb your hair?” The older man scoffed and looked behind himself nervously.

“Listen, I know I had said that you could crash here but something’s come up. I can’t really take visitors now.” Just when Dean opened his mouth to argue, a woman appeared behind Bobby, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I didn’t know we would be having visitors.” You frowned at the woman. Something about her looked familiar. Suddenly you recognized the face you had only ever seen in photographs.

“Aunt Karen?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this one. I honestly hate this chapter and got super stuck writing it. At least I can move on now? Apologies if you hate it too. I promise to do better next time!


	10. Zombies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says there. Zombies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad that I got chapter nine out of the way and can move on to more fun stuff.
> 
> Also-borrowed dialogue from the show because I'm not creative.

After meeting your soulmates and learning that they were engaged in an all out war between cosmic forces for the fate of the world, you had thought your life had reached peak weirdness but here you were being served cookies and milk by your suddenly undead aunt. Both brothers were on high alert and you were torn between wanting to soothe them and trying to conceal your own terror at the knowledge that a dead woman was sitting at the table with you. Bobby could see the tension in Dean’s shoulders and knew that a conversation needed to be had. He placed a hand over his wife’s. “Could you give us a minute?” Karen smiled sweetly back at her husband and exited the room. As soon as she was out of sight, Dean rounded on Bobby.

“Are you crazy? What the hell?” Your uncle sighed and raised his hands placatingly.

“Dean I can explain.” The older Winchester snorted and shook his head.

“Sure, explain away. Why is there a freaking zombie making cupcakes in your kitchen?” Bobby fixed your dom with a glare.

“First of all, that’s my wife, sub, and soulmate so watch it.” You shifted nervously, seeing the fire in your uncle’s eyes. Sam wasn’t as easily intimidated and looked to your host with sympathy.

“Bobby whatever that thing is in there, it’s not your soulmate.” The older man growled and you scooted closer to Sam, ducking your head at the threat. He squeezed your hand under the table

“Do you take me for a moron boy? My dead wife shows up on my doorstep and you think I don’t test her every way I know how? She passed everything with flying colors. No scars or wounds, no reactions to holy water, salt, silver….“ He shook his head in awe. “It’s her. I know it seems impossible but somehow she’s back.” Dean crossed his arms on the table and leaned forward.

“So what, she just crawled out of her coffin and into your house?” You shook your head, speaking for the first time since the three of you had arrived.

“I don’t think she was buried, at least not as an intact body. Didn’t you cremate her?” Your uncle nodded. Dean stood and started putting on his jacket.

“You bury the ashes in the cemetery? I want to go check the site.” The older man nodded and averted his gaze, speaking softly.

“Yeah, that’s where they all rose from.” Dean froze and slowly turned to face your uncle. You could feel apprehension flowing from both brothers.

“How many more are there?” Bobby looked to the floor, shame evident in his body language and dread pooled in the pit of your stomach. You had the feeling things were about to get even weirder.

* * *

  


“What the hell is he thinking?!” You sat on the bed of the motel room Dean had insisted on getting and watched as your dom paced back and forth, flinching every time he yelled. “We’ve got another horseman on our asses and he wants to fucking play house with the undead?!” The sheer fury radiating out of your dom was overwhelming and you looked desperately across the room to where Sam was leaning against the wall. The younger brother met your gaze and frowned.

“Dean you need to calm down. Being angry isn’t helping anything.” When Dean whipped his head around to glare, Sam raised his eyebrows and tipped his head in your direction. Dean looked over and saw you curled up and holding yourself. Regret and guilt flowed through the bond as he realized how strongly he had been shooting out rage and negativity.

“Shit I’m sorry sweetheart.” He approached you slowly, watching your body language carefully for any sign of fear. When you didn’t shrink away from him, he came in closer and pulled you into his lap. You soaked up the offered comfort, bumping your nose against his throat and he sighed, pressing his face to the top of your head and breathing in the floral scent of your shampoo. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just royally pissed at your uncle. He’s making a stupid decision and I’m worried that he’ll get himself killed.” Sam opened the drawer of the bedside table. Unsurprisingly, this motel followed the unspoken tradition of outfitting each room with a bible. He flipped to the passage Bobby had read aloud earlier and sat next to the two of you.

“Since he had risen, they too shall rise. From him and through him…..” He scowled at the page. “So….what Death is raising up some kind of army?” You shrugged, not well-versed in Christianity. In the back of your mind, you considered how similar Bobby and your mother actually were. Both of them had lost soulmates and while your uncle had condemned his sister for attempting to bring hers back from the dead, he certainly wasn’t turning his zombie bride away. You wondered if the dead were rising anywhere else. You were pulled from your musings by your doms shifting. Sam chuckled at your offended squeak. “We’re going to go check out some of the other zombies, see how worried we should be.” You got up as well, stretching.

“That makes sense. Where are we going first?” You froze at the wave of protectiveness from the brothers. Dean put his hands on your shoulders and gently pushed you back down onto the bed.

“You aren’t going anywhere babe. What kind of dom would I be if I took you zombie hunting?” You pouted and stood back up.

“You’re Sam’s dom too and he’s going.” Guilt pulsed through Dean and you berated yourself. You knew that Dean hated that Sam was so experienced in danger, hated that his sub had been forced into a life of kill or be killed. You bit your lip and looked down at the floor. Irritation flashed through the bond before Dean pulled your lip free.

“I wish you wouldn’t hurt yourself like that babygirl. I happen to like that lip.” When the quip didn’t cheer you up he sighed. “You’re right sweetheart. Sammy’s my sub and I take him into dangerous situations all the time. He learned to shoot when he should have been learning to ride a bike. I wasn’t able to keep him safe and protect him from this. It’s too late to take it all back now.” He moved his thumb from your lip to trace up and down your cheekbone. “I failed Sam. I won’t fail you too. Please let me keep you safe?” A loud throat clearing from Sam drew your and Dean’s attention away from each other.

“It wasn’t your job to give me a childhood Dean. You didn’t fail me.” The switch smiled sadly. “I might have grown up too fast and I might be more familiar with violence and death than most other people but you are the reason I survived all of it. All of my happy memories revolve around you Dean.” He wrapped an arm around your waist. “Except more recent ones. Those have two key players.” You blushed and tried to find a way to be closer to both brothers at the same time.

“Do you have to go right now?” You looked up at Dean through your eyelashes. “Could you stay for just a little while longer? I wanna cuddle.” The brothers held a silent conversation with their eyes before Sam grabbed you and tossed you on the bed. You giggled when your body bounced on the mattress and peeled off your sweater and leggings, leaving yourself in a camisole and panties. You raised an eyebrow at the boys’ lustful gazes. “I don’t know if I want to….you know? I just…..skin is nice?” Dean made a production of slowly stripping down to his underwear.

“It is babygirl. Skin is very nice.” Soon you were snuggled between two warm bodies, your doms filling the room with pheromones and the bond humming with contentment. You sighed happily and nuzzled Dean’s shoulder, luxuriating in the experience of having your doms on either side of you. Why couldn't things stay like this forever?

All good things must come to an end though and eventually the boys got up and got dressed again. You watched them dress sadly and gave them long lingering kisses as they left, hoping it would encourage them to hurry back. The car started up and you kept listening to the purr of the engine for as long as you could hear it. When the rumble had faded, you snuggled up to the pillow Dean had used, chasing the scent of his aftershave. Ten minutes passed before you huffed and stood up again. This was stupid. You were a grown ass woman and your doms had just gone for a milk run. There was no need to mope about all day. You just needed to find a way to keep busy. Humming, you went through the boy's bags and folded the rumpled clothing they had tossed in half-hazardly. As you smoothed out the sixth ripped and holey shirt, you got an idea. _Maybe I can fix some of their clothes….._ There was a convenience store a few blocks away that probably had some cheap sewing kits. You scribbled a quick note on the pad by the phone and grabbed your room key and wallet before heading out.

 

* * *

  
  


Dean knocked again on the heavy wood door of the old house. When there was still no answer, he groaned before walking around to the back and finding an unlocked window to shimmy through. “I'm getting too old for this.” The window opened into a dirty kitchen and he wrinkled his nose at the old dishes in the sink. Whoever lived here must have been hungry because the cabinets and refrigerator were all open, empty food packages strewn about the room. It even looked like they had tried to eat flour as a bag of it was on its side, spilling white powder onto the countertops and floor. As he approached the living room, he heard a sick squelching sound. Dean pressed his back to the wall and reached slowly for his gun. Slowly, he looked around the doorway and had to contain a gag. A middle aged woman was bent over the body of what looked to be her husband, feasting on his innards. The man lay in a pool of his own coagulating blood, eyes empty and faded. Wet slurping echoed through the room and Dean quickly muffled his connection to (Y/N) through the bond, not wanting her to pick up on what he was witnessing and cocked his gun. The sooner he wasted this thing, the sooner he could pick up Sam and get back to where their girl was waiting for them all soft and sweet. Unfortunately, this move didn’t go unnoticed and the woman snapped up, blood running down her face. She locked eyes with Dean and shrieked, lunging at him. He swore and took aim, his shot landing right between the eyes. The zombie fell to the floor and Dean let out a sigh of relief before checking his buzzing phone. “Sammy? I just wrapped up here where are you?”

“I’m a block away from where you dropped me off.” Sam’s breathing was ragged and Dean could feel disgust through the bond. “Dean that was just nasty.” The older Winchester looked back at the chewed up man and freshly re-dead woman.

“Nasty is a good word for it. Make sure you block this from (Y/N). We don’t want to scare her.” He went back outside to where the car was waiting and set out to pick up his switch.

  


Sam’s face and hair were soaking wet when he opened the passenger side door. He had cleaned himself off with a garden hose, unable to stomach the mucus that the old woman had coughed all over him. Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam, taking in the drenched-puppy appearance. “Do I want to know?” Sam shuddered and slammed the door shut.

“No you really don’t.” Taking his brother’s word for it, Dean set off for the motel in silence. Suddenly, pure terror raced through (Y/N)’s end of the bond and Dean swerved in surprise, nearly hitting a telephone pole. The brothers looked at each other with wide eyes before another wave of fear snapped them out of their shocked state. Dean reversed then leaned heavily on the accelerator, racing back to the motel at nearly double the speed limit.

  
  


_Tampons….toothpaste….funyuns….._ You wandered the aisles of the convenience store. _Oh! There’s a sewing kit!_ As you reached for the desired item, the bell above the door dinged, signaling another customer. A haggard looking man stumbled in and headed straight for the nacho cheese dispenser. He shoved past the teenage boy who was topping his chips and tilted his head under the nozzle to pour the plasticy yellow liquid straight into his mouth. The clerk behind the counter looked up from his magazine.

“Dude! You can’t do that!” The newcomer lifted his head, nacho cheese dribbling down his chin and jerkily ambled towards the clerk.

“I’m hungry…..” The cashier nodded slowly.

“Yeah man, most people who come here are hungry. You just can’t violate health code like that. It’s nasty.” The man had reached the counter by that point and leaned over until his face was mere centimeters away from the now nervous clerk.

“So hungry…..” He sniffed at the cashier’s neck before opening his mouth and biting down. The clerk let out a gurgling scream as blood spilled from his throat, his attacker gnawing at the broken skin. You dropped to the floor, hiding behind the walls of the aisle. _Oh my god oh my god oh my god…_ The teenager dropped his nachos and ran for the door but the man-who you now realized was probably a zombie-stopped him. Agonized screams filled the store as the zombie ripped into the teen. You heard his body drop to the floor and looked desperately around for something to use as a weapon. Seeing a broom leaning against the wall of coolers, you slowly started crawling towards it, keeping your eyes glued to where the zombie had returned to his original target. _How am I going to get out of this?_

  
  
  


Dean practically kicked down the door to the motel room. “(Y/N)?!! (Y/N) where are you?” He quickly strode to the bathroom, ripping aside the shower curtain and checking the closets.

“Dean, look!” The dom rushed back to where Sam was holding up the note you had left.

**Went to the store, be back soon! xoxo (Y/N)**

Sam turned anxious eyes towards his brother. Before either man could speak, your soul flared with pain and horror. Dean growled and stormed outside, shouting over his shoulder. “The only thing close is that convenience store, c’mon!” The brothers took off, begging you through the bond to just hold on until they got there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the slight delay with this chapter but I've had some fucking life happening. The guy in the apartment across the hall from me has been having knife fights with imaginary people and screaming at us to help... How are all of you doing?


	11. What Had to be Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader finally gets to be a little bit badass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos and sweet words. I squeal like an idiot whenever there's a comment.

You inched closer and closer to the broom, hoping that it would be at least somewhat useful in protecting yourself from the monster. You sent out a distress call in your mind, hating that you were in need of saving once again.  _ After this is over I’m going to take some self-defence classes… _ Finally you reached the broom and tugged it into your lap. The handle was metal and twisted apart into two pieces, making it easier to wield as a weapon. As you separated the two ends, you kept your focus on the zombie. So far it didn’t seem to have noticed you so at least you would have the element of surprise. That advantage was quickly lost though as twisting the broom handle apart resulted in a loud squeak. The zombie lifted its face from where it had been buried inside the store clerk’s chest and licked the blood from its lips. You quickly unscrewed the handle the rest of the way and stood on shaky legs. Your heartbeat pounded in your head as the zombie advanced. As soon as it was close enough, you swung at it with your improvised weapon. The hollow metal did little damage and was easily wrestled from your grip and onto the floor. Fear pulsed through you as the monster grabbed hold of your shoulders. You struggled and it slipped, smashing you against the glass door of a cooler. Shards of glass pierced your arms and face and the zombie grew more feral at the sight and smell of your blood. You screamed both out loud and in your mind for the boys, feeling them reaching back to you. Scrambling for a defense, you grabbed the glass door, tugging a loose shard free. It cut into the meat of your palm but you ignored the pain and jabbed it into the zombie’s neck. The monster let out an inhuman growl and grabbed at your hair, preparing to smash your head back against the glass. Just as it got hold of you, a flash of silver passed through your periphery. The zombie screamed as its arm fell to the floor and you let out a sigh of relief. Standing behind your attacker was Dean. He dropped the machete he had been holding and pulled you into his arms, drawing you away from where Sam was hacking furiously into the zombie. You buried your face in your dom’s neck, letting his pheromones ease your anxiety. He held you tight and pushed the fear from your mind, whispering words of reassurance that were just as much for himself as they were for you.

“You’re safe now baby, it’s going to be okay. We’ve got you. We won’t let anything hurt you (Y/N). You’re okay…” The taller brother joined the two of you, panting with blood splattered all over his clothes.

“Back to the motel?” You nodded and allowed Dean to host you into a piggyback for the journey.

 

* * *

 

You flinched at the sting of the antiseptic Sam was dabbing on your hand and clutched Gigi tighter. Dean kissed your cheek before looking at your hand and frowning. “Sorry kitten but that’s probably going to need stitches.” You nodded silently, trusting their judgement on treating injuries. Sam moved to get a needle and some dental floss while Dean tugged you into his lap. “(Y/N) can you say something please? You're being really quiet sweetheart.” You took a deep breath and looked up at him with wet eyes.

“Thank you for saving me again.” It took a moment for him to understand your mumbled words but once he did, he tightened his hold around your waist.

“You don't need to thank us for that babydoll. Sammy and I will  _ always  _ come for you if you're in danger.” You sniffled and hid your face in Gigi’s fur.

“M'sorry you had to though….. I should be able to take care of myself.” Sam had returned to hear your apology and reached out to cup your cheek. 

“You did take care of yourself both times now. You were smart and fast and kept yourself safe long enough for us to get there.” He gave you a gentle smile. “This is all new to you and you've done amazing. I just wish that you hadn't been put in these situations.” You turned your face into Dean's neck when Sam started stitching, not wanting to watch. The dom pet your hair and murmured praises in your ear.

“You’re doing so good sweetheart, just keep staying still for Sammy. Such a good girl, I know it hurts. He's almost done kitten just a little longer.” Dean had to hold back on the pheromones because as much as he wanted to soothe and distract you, Sam needed to keep a clear head. The younger Winchester worked as quickly as he dared to stitch you up. Fortunately, none of your other wounds required more than antiseptic and a bandaid so this would be the worst. He could tell that you were concealing your discomfort and his stomach twisted at the knowledge that he was at least partially responsible for your pain. When the stitches were finished and wrapped in gauze (topped with a featherlight kiss) Dean transferred you to Sam’s arms and got up to pace again. “So as a surprise to no one, the zombies are definitely dangerous. We need to take them all out.” He turned to Sam. “You still got Bobby’s list?” The switch nodded and frowned.

“What about Karen?” You shuddered at the mention of your undead aunt. Your uncle had made it abundantly clear that she was to be left alone. Would he be able to take her out before she turned on him?

“We can’t just leave Uncle Bobby to deal with this alone. I’m not sure he’s capable of hurting her if necessary.” You felt apprehension rocket through both brothers and sighed. “I didn’t say that I would be going after any zombies, chill out.” Sam squeezed you tighter before plucking the list from his shirt pocket.

“It looks like we’ve got about twelve more to get through. That could take a while….” He looked nervously between you and Dean. “This is too much for one of us to tackle. We both need to head out.” You could tell that neither brother wanted to leave you by yourself but knew they didn’t want you tagging along either.

“You guys do what you need to do. I promise to stay in the room until you get back.” Dean’s face looked pinched and you could feel anxious nausea from Sam. “Seriously, I’ll be fine. The door has like six locks on it.” They couldn’t fault your logic and reluctantly agreed. Before leaving, Dean insisted on handing you a pistol and giving you a crash course on using it. Sam walked you through codes to give over the phone in case of emergencies, a secret knock the brothers would use to get you to let them back in, and a strategy for reuniting if things truly went tits up and you had to flee. The whole production seemed to be a little excessive but you could tell it made them feel better about leaving. When they had run out of excuses to stall, each brother gave you a long kiss before walking out the door. With nothing to do but worry until they got back, you flipped on the television, hoping to find something to distract you.

 

 

 

Ten and a half hours later found you staring daggers at the door. The television had lost its powers of distraction long ago and pacing had made you even more restless so now you were sitting cross legged on the floor. You hadn't heard anything since Sam had texted you around sunset saying that they were done with most of the zombies and heading to your uncle's to finish with Karen. The sky was pitch black by that point and you were beyond worried. You bit harder into your lip, reaching out to them through the bond again and being met with a wall. While you understood that they were trying to block you from the carnage, you couldn't help feeling abandoned. You would have to have a talk with them about not blocking you out since not being able to feel them was way worse than any gore. When the beginnings of morning light started to creep through the blinds, you stood up. You couldn't wait any longer to know if your boys were okay. Promise be damned, you were leaving. Guilt twisted through your gut as you changed into jeans and one of Sam's flannels, Dean's gun tucked into the waistband. If you made it out of this alive, you would be in for one hell of a punishment. Hopefully you would still have doms to punish you. Bobby's house was only a mile or so away and you prayed that you could get there in time to help your soulmates.

* * *

  
  


Dean woke first, blinking through the throbbing in his head. He snapped to full awareness when he realized that he couldn't move his arms. Memories came racing back to him and he cursed.

 

> _ With the sheriff's little boy taken care of (and damn was that rough), the only zombie left was Karen. The brothers pulled up to Bobby's house and shared a nervous look. This was going to suck.  _
> 
> _ “You got a plan?” Dean shrugged in response to Sam's question, getting out of the car and opening the trunk. _
> 
> _ “Same plan as always, gank a monster and get out alive.” Sam sent a text to (Y/N) letting her know they were almost done before grabbing the shotgun his brother held out. The boys moved slowly around to the back of the house and Sam picked the lock on the backdoor. They knew that Bobby wasn’t going to welcome them in so they would need to move quickly and quietly. Karen was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes with her husband nowhere to be seen. Just as Sam was preparing to pull the trigger, a shot rang out. The switch hissed and fell to the floor, blood seeping from the wound in his leg. Dean whipped around to see his pseudo-father taking aim again. _
> 
> _ “You boys just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? I told you to stay away!” Sam held his hands up in surrender. _
> 
> _ “Bobby please listen to us. She’s not going to stay Karen for much longer. All the rest of them have changed.” The older hunter glared. _
> 
> _ “I’m not dim, I know what happened to the others. You think I don’t have a plan?” Dean snorted. _
> 
> _ “A plan to get yourself killed? Because that’s what’s going to happen if you don’t let us handle this.” Bobby looked at the brothers pleadingly. _
> 
> _ “You boys are like sons to me and I don’t want to hurt you but I will if you don’t back off.” When neither Winchester stood down, he sighed. “Alright, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He nodded at Karen and Dean felt a hard impact to the back of his head before everything went black. _

 

Dean took inventory of the situation. It looked like he was somewhere in the garage. Sam sat slumped across from him, arms chained to the wall above his head just like Dean’s. At least Bobby had the courtesy to bandage Sam’s leg. Dean growled, fury running through his veins at the knowledge that Bobby had shot his Sammy. The switch stirred at his dom’s angry snarl, hazel eyes blurrily taking in his surroundings. Finding Dean’s eyes brought him back to full awareness and Sam groaned as he realized what must have happened.

“How long were we out?” Dean shrugged.

“No idea. How’s your leg?” The switch flexed the limb in question, flinching at the dull pain.

“I’ve had worse.” Sam looked around the room again. “Too bad there’s no window, I really want to know what time it is. I told (Y/N) we would be back soon.” Dean swallowed the lump in his throat at the mention of their girl.

“She knows to stay put. You’re still blocking her right?” Sam nodded. “Good. We don’t want her worrying too much.” Dean ignored the twinge of guilt over hiding their situation from (Y/N), knowing it was for the best. The last thing he needed was for her to realize that he and Sam were in danger. Their girl was sweet but she was also a little spitfire and he knew that she wouldn’t hesitate to come to their rescue. The creak of a door pulled the dom from his thoughts and the boys looked up to see Bobby.

“I’m sorry it had to come to this boys. You won’t be there for long though, I promise. Karen’s almost fixed up and then I’ll let you out.” Dean glared at the man he thought of as a second father.

“You can’t fix her Bobby. She’s going to eat you and us.” Sam met Bobby’s gaze earnestly.

“Bobby please. I know you love her and I know this is hard but it has to be done. She’s not Karen. Your wife is dead and there’s no way to get her back. I’m sorry.” The older hunter sighed and shut the door, leaving the brothers to regroup and come up with an escape plan.

  
  


“How are you feeling sweetheart?” Karen looked up from her book and smiled. Bobby forced himself to ignore how colorless her skin had become and the growing dullness of her eyes. The spell would work, he just needed more time.

“I’m feeling wonderful. A little hungry but otherwise perfect.” The dom smiled warmly and wheeled himself into the kitchen to fix a meal for his wife. He didn’t see her slip behind him and open the door to the backyard.

* * *

 

  
You pointedly ignored the impala parked outside your uncle’s house, knowing that it meant nothing good for your doms. Knocking on the front door was out of the question so you made your way around the back of the house to find another way in. You froze when you saw your aunt come out the backdoor. She fortunately didn’t see you, walking determinedly towards the garage. From a safe distance you watched her open the side door. _Why wouldn’t she just go through the house?_ You didn’t have long to wonder though, Sam’s agonized shout pulling you back to reality. You ran to the door and gasped at the sight of your dom struggling to free his bloody leg from your undead aunt’s grasp. Without thinking, you pulled Dean’s gun from your waistband and took aim. The shot echoed through the garage and your aunt crumpled to the floor, a hole through her head.

Things went fuzzy after that. You could hear shouting from your soulmates and your uncle but you weren’t able to pull your gaze from the body you had put on the floor. A touch on your arm made you jump and you blinked as Sam pulled the gun from your shaking hands.

“Hey (Y/N), it’s okay, you can relax now.” An embarrassingly loud sob tore from your throat and you fell forward into Sam’s arms. He sank down to the floor with you in his lap, holding you tight and whispering reassurances. Dean kneeled behind you and you cried harder. You had come so close to losing them. Through the fog of tears and calming pheromones, you heard a roughly growled warning from the older dom. 

“You are in  **so much** trouble babygirl.”

_ Worth it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I had said this would happen sooner and I'm sorry that it didn't. Midway through writing this chapter, I found out that I got accepted for an internship position! Then I just got excited/distracted.


	12. Naughty Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters have a creative punishment in store for our reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that are weird: typing up smut on your phone during your lunch break at work

You shifted nervously from your spot in the corner. As soon as you had arrived back at the motel, Dean had told you to strip and stand facing the wall while he and Sam discussed the logistics of your punishment. Fear for your doms’ safety had been soothed and now you were wracked with overwhelming guilt for your disobedience. When a few more minutes passed without any acknowledgement from your doms, you started to whimper, tears building in your eyes. You were so distraught that Dean's hand at the small of your back had you crying out in surprise. He chuckled and turned you around, forcing your chin up when you stared at the floor.

“Alright darlin’ let's get this taken care of.” He led you to the bed where Sam was waiting. “Over his knee babygirl.” You fixed Sam with your best puppy-dog eyes, silently pleading for an out. The younger brother raised an eyebrow in warning and patted his lap 

“This has to be done (Y/N). You can't sweet-talk your way out of it.” The logical part of your brain knew he was right. There's a reason that withholding punishment is illegal after all. Leaving a sub with guilt is considered unnecessarily cruel with some countries even classifying it as abuse because it throws their hormones way out of wack and can cause permanent damage. That knowledge didn't make you any more eager for a spanking though. Reluctantly, you allowed Sam to arrange you across his lap. He rested a large hand on the crest of your bottom and you whimpered. From your perch over his knee, you couldn't see the lost way Sam was looking at Dean. He'd experienced his fair share of punishments but only on the receiving end. Dean gave him an encouraging nod from the chair he had set at the end of the bed. The switch had been hesitant to dole out any punishment but Dean had eventually convinced him to be the one doing the spanking. After all, the second half of your punishment would be much harder. Sam took a deep breath to gather himself before saying the words he had heard countless times. “(Y/N), do you know why you're being punished?” You nodded and he swatted your bottom lightly. “I asked you a question.” You whined before answering.

“I'm being punished because I didn't listen. I promised to stay in the room and I left.” More tears fell down your face and onto the sheets. “I'm sorry Sir.” He rubbed his hand in gentle circles.

“Well you're partly right sweetheart. Yes, you're being punished for breaking a promise but there's something else.” You twisted your head up to meet his gaze in surprise. “You knowingly put yourself in danger. That is absolutely not allowed. Ever.” His breath hitched and you noticed that his eyes looked suspiciously wet. “Babygirl I don't know what I would do if you got hurt or killed. You saw how hard it was for us to see you bleeding at that store and that was an accident. This time you walked into a fight on purpose. Do you understand why that's not okay?” You turned to look at Dean, his expression equally grave. You could feel how scared they still were about your safety and felt bad. At the same time, a more bratty side of you grew irritated at the hypocrisy.

“But you had been gone for _ hours _ ! You blocked me out so I couldn't even feel if you were okay. You ran headfirst into danger and left me in the dark!” The boys bristled at your accusations, not having considered things from that perspective. Dean frowned for a minute before speaking, choosing his words carefully.

“I'm sorry for making you worry baby. I thought that it would be better to block you from the scary stuff.” You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“I'm not a child Dean. You don't have to censor everything.” He gave you a sad smile.

“Honey you don't know how bad it can get. The attack you saw at the convenience store was pretty mild. What happened at your house terrified you and we deal with that shit all the time. I don't want to be the reason you have nightmares.” You turned away with a huff. You knew that fucking nightmare would come back to bite you in the ass.  _ They must think I'm so pathetic. _ Another smack to your rear made you squeak in surprise. 

“Stop beating yourself up. We don't expect you to go through this unaffected. If you weren't freaked out by what you've seen, we would be worried. There's nothing wrong with being scared.” Dean nodded at his brother's words.

“We can reevaluate blocking things if it's this upsetting.” He leaned forward in the chair and looked at you sternly. “That doesn't excuse your behavior though. You still broke a promise and put yourself at risk. Those are both major problems and we can't just ignore it babygirl.”  You sighed and settled back into position over Sam's knee. He started the gentle rubbing again.

“We're going to use the traffic light system for this okay sweetheart? Green means you're okay with what's happening, yellow means we're close to something you can't handle and need to slow down, and red means stop everything.” He pinched your thigh to get you to look up at him again. “Even though you’re being punished, you are still expected to safeword out if you can’t keep going. If we go too far and you don’t say anything, you really won’t like the consequences. If you understand and agree, I want you to explain the system back to me.”

“Yes Sir. If I can keep going I say green. If I need you to slow down I say yellow. If I need you to stop I say red.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“Good girl. We’re going to start with twenty spanks and you’re going to count them for me. Then Dean will take over for the rest of your punishment.” When you gave the green light, he lifted his hand and brought it down hard.

**_SMACK!_ **

“One Sir” The force knocked the words out of you and Sam had to trap your legs between his to keep you from scooting away involuntarily.

**_SMACK!_ **

“Two Sir”

**_SMACK!_ **

“Three Sir”

Sam was definitely thorough in his approach. Each hit was harder than the last and he made sure to cover all of your bottom and even the tops of your thighs. By the time he’d reached fifteen, you were openly crying and clutching at the sheets with white knuckles. Sam paused, leaving his hand against your reddened behind. “You’re doing so well for me sweetheart. This part’s almost over. Can you give me your color?” You sobbed out your consent and he delivered the next three smacks in quick succession, barely giving you time to count them. “Just two more and then you can have Dean.” You weren’t sure if that was going to be better or worse.

**_SMACK!_ **

“Nineteen Sir” There was a long pause before he brought his hand down the final time and you squirmed in anticipation of what you knew would be the hardest hit.

**_SMACK!!!!_ **

“Twenty Sir” He pulled you up and let you rest your head on his chest, rubbing your back gently while you hiccuped and sobbed.

“There you go beautiful. It’s done now. You were so good. Such a good sweet perfect girl.” When your crying had subsided a bit, Dean stood and approached the bed. He waited for your eyes to meet before speaking.

“Alright darlin’, it’s my turn.” There was a dangerous glint in his eyes and you gulped. “Don’t worry baby this will be fun. At least at first.” With that cryptic statement, he took you from Sam and laid you out flat on the bed, settling himself between your spread legs. He grinned at you before lowering his head and licking slowly up the crease where your thigh met the rest of your body. You gasped and stiffened, wondering how exactly this was a punishment. He chuckled against your skin and repeated the action on the other thigh before trailing his tongue up and down the length of your folds. Slowly, your body warmed up to the stimulation and when his tongue finally flicked over your now swollen and sensitive clit, your hips jerked. A whine was pulled from your throat when the motion caused your stinging bottom to rub painfully against the sheets and you suddenly began to understand why this was a punishment. Every time you squirmed in pleasure you were met with the pain of your sensitive behind chafing on the cheap motel sheets. Sam chuckled from where he sat watching you against the headboard when he realized that you were catching on. You looked up at him and he winked, pulling your wrists above your head with one of his large hands.

“That’s only half of it babygirl.” What the hell else did they have planned? You couldn’t wonder about that too much because Dean was quite adept at distracting you. He hummed against your skin before sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the bud. Just as your body began to tense into an orgasm, he pulled away. You whined again as the pleasure faded and pouted at the smirking dom.

“What’s wrong little girl? Were you about to cum?” You nodded and he cooed in mock sympathy. “Poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it better?” Before you could respond he returned to his post between your legs and went back to work. You mewled when he slid two fingers inside of you, stroking your walls teasingly before curling them to tap at that magic place Sam had shown you. He chuckled when, as he withdrew again at the brink of your orgasm, you whimpered. This was a mean game he had dragged you into and you cursed when he started playing with you again.

* * *

 

Dean had teased and denied you four more times and you were struggling in his and Sam’s grasp. The burn of your bottom against the bed was only heightening your sensitivity by that point and you cried out as Dean pulled you back from the edge again.

“Please please no more teasing Sir! Please let me cum!” He looked at you with a shit-eating grin and prodded at your g-spot, thumb teasing your clit.

“I don’t know sweetie. You don’t sound very sorry. I don’t know if you’ve learned your lesson.” You nodded, sobbing.

“I have I promise. I won’t go looking for trouble anymore. Just please let me cum Sir! Please!” He felt you start to clench up again and slowed his movements.

“Are you sure you want to cum babydoll? You want to squeeze my fingers with that pretty little pussy?” You nodded wildly and he shrugged. “Alright then, cum for me.” He sped his motions back up and you wailed with the force of your orgasm. Dean didn’t stop working you though and one orgasm became two became three and soon you were squirming again for a different reason.

“Ahhh Dean! Sir! It’s too much!” He laughed and moved in to lap at your clit again, fingers still moving inside you.

“But I thought you wanted to cum. I’m just giving you what you wanted sweetheart.” Damn this man. You groaned and tried to wriggle away, a near impossible feat given the strength of the two men holding you in place. Dean forced another orgasm out of you and you sobbed.

“I can’t cum anymore, please!” He pulled back slightly, easing into a more gentle stimulation of your overly sensitive body.

“I think you can cum one more time for us princess. Just one more and then it’ll be all done. You know your word if it’s really too much.” It took a while to coax a final, painful orgasm from your body and when it was finished, you were a trembling mess. Dean withdrew and you curled into the fetal position, suddenly very cold. Sam moved to spoon you, kissing your shoulder and murmuring praises.

“There you go (Y/N) it’s done now baby. You’re forgiven sweetheart. You did so good for us. So perfect. Thank you for trusting us. We love you.” Dean covered both of you with a blanket before joining on the other side and brushing the tears from your face.

“It’s all in the past now babygirl. You don’t need to cry anymore. Everything’s okay now.” You gave him a small but genuine smile and he leaned in to kiss your nose. “There’s our sweet girl. Are you okay kitten?” You nodded with a yawn. 

“M’good. Talk later. Sleep now.” The boys laughed and the three of you drifted off into an afternoon nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll have anything more ready to go by tomorrow but I wanted to make sure I gave you all some fun stuff. The pace I've been writing at probably isn't sustainable for the long term. It's been taking me a couple of hours to write each chapter but I think I want to take more time on the next one.
> 
> Or I'll just say fuck it and write something fast again at 3am. Only time will tell.


	13. How far does your trust go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some tooth-rotting fluff before continuation of actual plot
> 
> Borrowing dialogue again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so kind of an announcement? 
> 
> This is all happening roughly near the end of season five. Apocalypse has started and shit has already gotten real. That said, I'm meddling with timelines and maybe moving plot points. Hopefully that's not too much of a dealbreaker? It's cannon adjacent I promise.
> 
> I really hope people are cool with the timeline fuckery because I've got an outline figured out and I'm actually really excited about where things are going. I might go back and edit things so that it's overall less shitty and confusing.
> 
> Honestly I kind of assume that if you're reading fanfiction then you're probably open to cannon divergence. This is likely a non-issue that I'm stressing about for no reason but anxiety disorders exist so here we are.

A few weeks had passed since your zombie killing adventure. The boys were happy to take a break from chaos, driving you around to see some of their favorite places in the country. At Dean's insistence, you ignored the multiple attempts your uncle made to contact you, only sending a short text to let him know that Sam's leg had healed. The younger Winchester shared your opinion that Bobby maybe deserved a little slack given that he was protecting his soulmate but Dean steadfastly refused to even entertain forgiveness. You wanted to argue but Sam told you that the best thing to do was wait it out so you gave your stubborn dom space and didn't push the issue.

The three of you had been on the road for about five hours to a mystery destination somewhere in Baltimore. Dean wouldn’t tell you or Sam where he was taking you but you could tell he was excited. Stretching a bit, you put down your book and leaned forward to tap on Dean's shoulder. “Think we could find somewhere to stop for a while? My legs are starting to cramp up.” Through the bond you could feel Sam hoping the answer would be yes. It was amazing to you that he could even fit his long legs in the car. Dean rolled his eyes playfully at your and Sam's request but agreed, watching the road signs for a good place to take a break. He eventually settled on a state park since it seemed like a walk would be good. You practically flew out of the car, eager for a chance to move around. The boys watched fondly and followed at a more sedate pace. When you found a trailhead with a sign saying it led to a creek, you turned and fixed your soulmates with pleading eyes. Sam turned to Dean who shrugged.

“We don't have anywhere to be really. If you two want to go check it out, let's go.” You squealed happily and ran back to give the shorter man a kiss on the cheek. Sam laughed at the blush his brother was trying to hide.

“Careful (Y/N), we don't want to damage that tough guy persona. What'll Dean do if word gets out that he's a big softie?” He left his flustered brother behind and took your hand, starting down the trail.

The trees provided enough shade to make the walk comfortably cool and you listened with fascination as Sam pointed out the different species of wildflowers along the way. Dean teased his brother's nerdiness but you could feel that it came from a place of fondness. He eventually joined in, bringing your attention to the animal tracks on the ground. By the time you reached the creek the bond was flooded with warm contentment. Dean helped you over a fallen tree trunk to where a few large rocks stood up out of the water and you claimed the smallest rock as your own, sitting down and taking off your shoes so you could dip your feet in the cold stream. The boys settled in on their own neighboring rocks and followed your lead. After a few moments of content silence, you cleared your throat.

“I’ve been thinking about what to do when school starts again.” The boys looked up in alarm. You knew they had been worried about what your schooling would mean for the three of you since staying put wasn’t really an option for them. “I’ve only got one year left and all the classes I need are available online. I think I’ll finish up on the road.” Relief poured through the bond and you smiled. The smile turned to a full giggle when a fish swam by and tickled your toes. A twinge of melancholy made you look over to Sam. The switch was frowning at the treeline.

“It’s going to work out right? We’re going to save all of this?” Dean clenched his jaw at the fear in Sam’s voice.

“Yeah Sammy, we can fix this. You heard Gabriel. There’s a way to shove Lucifer back in the box.” The confident smile he shot his brother with was forced and you could feel the uncertainty in his voice. “The world’s not going to end on our watch.” You pushed reassurance through the bond, hoping to bring the boys some sense of comfort.

“For what it’s worth, I have faith in you.” The corners of Sam’s lips lifted in a small smile and he stood.

“That’s worth more than you know sweetheart.” The three of you made your way back to the car, anxiety and hope warring within your minds.

.  
.  
.  
.

“Alright, we’re here.” You looked out the window to Dean’s surprise location. A large sign let you know that you were at Johns Hopkins University in front of….

“A library?” He grinned and winked.

“Not just any library. Come on!” Sam shrugged and clambered out of the car, you following close behind. The building was large and looked to be very old. Gold lettering above the doors spelled out “Peabody Institute”. You gasped when you walked in and Dean grinned widely at your and Sam’s dropped jaws. “I thought my bookworms might like this place.” You were speechless. The library was huge and ornate, looking like something out of a fairy tale. As you took in the intricate carvings and twisted metal, you decided that this might be your new favorite place. Dean prodded at your back encouragingly and you realized that you had been standing wide-eyed in the doorway for several minutes. “You know you’re allowed to look around, right?” You blushed and made your way to where Sam was climbing the stairs, itching to get your hands on some of those older looking books. Dean smiled smugly. _Maybe I'm not such a shitty dom after all._

* * *

  


You were dozing in the backseat as Dean drove through the night, looking for a motel to stop in at. Once he was sure that you had fallen asleep, Sam cleared his throat. “So… we need to figure out how to get those other two rings. Dean opened his mouth to respond but before he could answer, a familiar voice came from the backseat.

“I have an idea.” You awoke with a shriek and Dean slammed on the breaks, pulling to the side of the road as Sam lunged at the figure next to you. Ruby’s knife sliced through the upholstery as the newcomer disappeared. Dean whipped around.

“Did you get him?” Sam shook his head in irritation.

“He’s gone.” You looked between the brothers fearfully.

“Who was that?” Dean’s answer was cut off again by a knock on the window. The intruder was now outside the car, beckoning the boys to join him. Sam and Dean got out, warning you to stay in the car with their eyes. You scoffed and ignored the unspoken order. There was no way you were just going to sit there while they talked to someone obviously very powerful. You watched as your men advanced threateningly on the third, aggression flowing through them like fire.

“Now now boys is this really how you should treat someone who has helped you?” Dean laughed sarcastically.

“Helped us? How the hell have you helped us?”

“I gave you the colt!” Sam practically snarled at the squeaky defense.

“Yeah and you knew it wouldn’t work against the devil! You set us up Crowley!” The shorter man you assumed was called Crowley shook his head as Sam drew ever closer. “We lost people on that suicide run. Good people. Friends.” Crowley rolled his eyes and gave some sarcastic platitude about not being responsible for who the brothers took along for the ride. You could feel Sam’s rage bubbling over as he lunged in again with the blade, missing when Crowley simply popped himself out of the way.

“That was a mistake. I thought the colt would work. That’s on me.” He held his hands up placatingly. “Look, we’re all on the same side still. I still want the devil dead.” He gave Dean a long suffering look. “Call off your attack dog.” The older dom stepped in front of Sam.

“Give me one good reason.” Crowley smirked.

“I can give you Pestilence.” You felt the brothers’ interest pique and Dean came closer to the increasingly smug looking bargainer. Seeing he was making headway, Crowley raised an eyebrow. “I know how to get him. I can help you boys.” Looking between them, Crowley suddenly noticed you. “Well hello there Cupcake…” Sam growled again, moving so he was shielding you from view.

“Don’t talk to her.” The shorter man rolled his eyes. “Fine, hide your toy. I don’t think you realize the precariousness of your situation. I am willing to forgive you for the mess that you’ve put me in by failing to kill Lucifer. I’ve been run out of my home, reduced to practically nothing.” Dean snorted to show his complete lack of sympathy. Crowley’s face grew redder with irritation. “They burnt down my house! They ate my tailor!” Though you couldn’t see it, you knew the boys were giving him their best bitchfaces. “Every demon on Hell and Earth’s got his eyes out for me and here I am talking to the WInchesters under a bloody spotlight!” Crowley waved his hand at the streetlight above you and it shattered, glass falling everywhere. Tantrum fading, Crowley sighed. “Look, do you want those rings or not?” Tired of the back and forth, you stepped around Sam and stared Crowley down, crossing your arms.

“We’re listening.” He winked.

“Oh I like you Cupcake.”

.

.

.

.

Shutting off the engine, Dean slid out of the car. You looked to the backseat where Sam had insisted on sitting with Crowley. The switch was visibly unhappy, trembling with anger. This was going to be a fun night. Crowley led the three of you into a rundown shack. “Well here we are. Home sweet home. Do you see the squalor I’ve been reduced to? Single pane glass, used contraceptives in the fireplace….” He flicked his fingers and a fire roared to life, warming the chilly room. Dean cleared his throat.

“Cut the crap and tell us what you know about the rings.” Crowley grinned smugly and began doing what he did best, making a deal.

* * *

 

“I don’t like this.” You rolled your eyes and groaned.

“Yes Sam, I’ve gathered that.” The switch narrowed his eyes at you.

“(Y/N) working with Crowley is a bad idea. He doesn’t exactly have the best track record as a teammate. And the fact that he’s been spying on us doesn’t exactly inspire me to trust him.” You sighed and flopped down into his lap.

“Look Sam, this isn’t my favorite plan either. Do you think I’m happy that Dean’s just run off with who you've just told me is the fucking king of Hell?” Sam wrapped an arm around you and rested his chin on your head. “You might not trust Crowley. I’m not sure if I do either. But I do trust Dean. I thought you did too.” When Sam didn’t respond you got up and walked out of the room. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you punched in a familiar number. The call was answered before the first ring had even finished.

“(Y/N)?”

“Hey Uncle Bobby. We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like feminism, bad puns, and shitposts come hang out with me on tumblr! Same name as here bc I will be a booshlr until the day I die.


	14. Samuel Winchester is an Assbutt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is useful in a roundabout way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to do chapters like this very often where it pretty much follows the episode exactly but this one was fun and I do what I want.

_ “Hey Uncle Bobby. We need to talk.” _

 

* * *

 

 

“So then Dean just followed Crowley out the door.” You looked up when Sam stumbled into the room, a half empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and groaned. “And now Sam’s wasted.” The switch ambled over and sat down next to you.

“Let me talk to him.” You shrugged but followed your uncle’s instructions, putting the phone on speaker. “Sam, I’m sorry for what happened back at my house. It was stupid and selfish and I was wrong to do it.” Your soulmate waved his hand dismissively.

“It’s fine Bobby.” He took another swig from the bottle and smiled goofily. “Sometimes you have to shoot people and that’s fine.” You could almost hear your uncle’s eyes rolling back into his head as he muttered about drunken children. Sam’s face turned serious and he took the phone from you, getting up to pace. “Anyway, I have a question. Remember that time you were possessed?” Your uncle snorted.

“Yeah it rings a bell.”

“Meg told you to kill Dean and you didn’t. You got control. How did you take back the wheel?” There was a stunned silence before Bobby answered, his voice full of apprehension.

“Why are you asking Sam?” You watched nervously as Sam’s lips curled into a determined grimace.

“Say we can open the cage… Then what? We can’t exactly walk Lucifer to the edge and talk him into jumping.” You held your breath, praying that Sam wasn’t planning what you actually thought. Bobby sighed.

“You got me.” Sam took another swig and set his jaw.

“So what if you guys lead him there and I jump in?” You shot to your feet as Bobby growled warningly over the phone. “It’s one quick action, just like when you turned the knife on yourself.” Nausea gripped you and tears gathered in your eyes.  _ He can’t seriously be suggesting this…. _ Dean must have picked up on your stress because questioning concern brushed against your mind. As much as you wanted to soak up the offered comfort, you knew that he needed to concentrate so you pushed reassurance towards him before muffling the bond. Sure that your dom couldn’t sense anything more, you turned your attention back to the shouting match.,

“It’s called ‘possession’ for a reason, idjit!” Sam rolled his shoulders cockily.

“I’m strong enough.”

“No you ain’t!” Unable to listen anymore, you fled the room, snatching Sam’s alcohol from his hand on the way. He had definitely had enough.

* * *

  
  


Dean glared at the demon in his backseat. Once again, Crowley had tricked him. Between the irritation at falling for another betrayal, the pain of his head wound, and the frustration of knowing that his girl was hiding something from his mind, Dean was not in a good mood. “Watch the upholstery!” Crowley glared and finished the carving on his prisoner’s chest.

“Trust me, this will keep him where we want him.” He frowned when Dean signaled for the next exit. “No we’re not going that way. We can’t take him back to Sam.” Dean growled.

“Why the hell not?” The monarch’s face twisted awkwardly as he tried to find a way to avoid revealing too much.

“They have…..history.” The older Winchester slammed on the breaks and turned to shout at the cryptic king.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” When Crowley remained silent, Dean pulled out the demon blade he had taken on the journey. “Either start talking or get the hell out of my car you son of a bitch.” The demon sighed. He really hated these Winchesters.

 

 

 

 

The impala pulling up in front of the shack was a sight for sore eyes. Sam had been insufferable, arguing loudly into your phone for the past forty minutes. You jumped to your feet when the door opened but froze when you saw your dom supporting a bloodied and hooded figure. Dean nodded for you to follow him, not wanting to leave you alone with Crowley. You helped him tie the prisoner down into a chair, neither of you saying a word. Sam’s footsteps echoed through the room just as Dean was checking the last knot. The switch looked like he had at least sobered up a little and he raised his eyebrows at the scene.

“What’s going on Dean?” The older brother stepped forward and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“I need you to stay focused here, okay? Remember what’s at stake.” Sam shook his head in confusion.

“Dean what’s this all about? First Crowley now you….. What are you hiding that’s so bad I’m going to veer off course?” The prisoner lifted his head, voice muffled a bit under the bag.

“Sam? Is that you?” Dean let Sam step forward and remove the bag. The switch gasped.

“Brady?” The captive chuckled darkly.

“Oh, Brady hasn’t been Brady for a long time.” He looked up with eyes that were completely black and you took a step back, realizing this was a demon. “You’ve had a devil on your shoulder for a long time Sammy boy.” The switch’s fury flooded through the bond, making you shake and grab the wall for stability.

“You son of a bitch!” He grabbed the demon’s shirt collar and yanked hard. “You set me up with Jess you asshole!” The demon laughed and Dean grabbed Sam, forcing him from the room harshly with you following close behind. Sam struggled and Dean grunted with the strain of holding him back. “Let me go Dean. Let me back in there!” Dean grabbed the hair at the back of Sam’s head and tugged, assaulting him with a hard wall of pheromones and making the switch’s eyes flutter.

“Listen Sam, we’ve got one way left to win and it’s not by you killing that thing in there.” Crowley stalked over to where the three of you were standing.

“I told you the moose would muck it all up.” He turned to you. “Come on cupcake, let’s get to work.” You shook your head.

“I’m good here.” He sighed and made his way to the room the demon was in.

“Suit yourself.” You groaned and followed, not wanting the two demons to be left alone together. Dean kept his end of the bond wide open to you so that you could alert him if anything happened and set to talking his switch down.

 

As the two demons snarked back and forth, you leaned against the corner and fed soothing waves of calm to Sam. He was angrier than you’d felt him since the convenience store incident and you wondered what it was about this guy that had your dom so fired up. After Crowley had finished his ineffective interrogation, you took a seat in the chair across from the prisoner. “Gotta say, I admire your conviction. That whole ‘I’m dead either way’ angle takes balls.” You folded your arms. “I almost believed that you wouldn’t crack.” He raised a single eyebrow at you and snorted.

“You really think I’m going to give any information to some silly simpering little submissive human?” You shrugged.

“I don’t think anything. I’m just bored. My soulmates are arguing and your king isn’t exactly someone I’d like to bond with.” You smirked internally when he perked up at the word ‘soulmate’.

_ Gotcha... _

“So you belong to Sammy boy?” You hummed noncommittally. 

“Maybe…” The demon’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward as much as his binds would allow as he realized you could be the key to him winning Lucifer’s favor again.

“He likes you then…. Maybe even loves you…..” There was a dangerous glint in his eyes. “I’d bet you could talk him into just about anything.” You smirked and leaned forward as well.

“Probably so….. For the right price.” Just as you thought you had found your hook, the demon groaned and focused on something in his periphery. Turning, you saw Sam walking in with the demon blade. His voice was low and dangerous.

“How long?” Not-Brady grinned.

“Sophomore year. Thanksgiving. Remember when I came back from break a mess? All the drugs and the chicks?” You could see Sam’s hands start to shake, feel the mounting anger. In your mind, Dean was shouting in frustration, projecting the sensation of being trapped. “You tried so hard to get me back on the straight and narrow didn’t you Sammy boy? Such a good friend.” He laughed and shook his head. “Of course, old yellow-eyes didn’t send me to be your friend. And when it started looking like you’d gone too soft, we had to act. So I set you up with that sweet, innocent, girl. Wasn’t she a pretty little sub?” Sam was breathing in low growls now and Dean was urging you to go get him but you were glued to the spot. “She was so pure, wasn’t she? I bet she made you feel like such a big man. Poor Sammy boy, always his big brother’s bitch but she gave you the power. She trusted you so much.” The demon grinned. “And then I toasted her on the ceiling.” His eyes drifted over to where you were watching. “Maybe I should do the same with your replacement whore.” Sam lunged forward, pressing the blade to not-Brady’s throat. In an instant, you were moving, throwing yourself on Sam’s back and holding tight while you pushed love and comfort and safety through the bond.

“Sam stop it! You heard what Dean said. We need this guy!” Not-Brady laughed.

“That’s right Sammy-boy, you need me! Listen to your bitch. Who knows if that’s the last thing she’ll say to you.” Sam dragged the blade over the demon’s neck, leaving a fiery gash behind. You pressed harder against his mind.

“Sam please! I need you to back down. Don’t give him what he wants!” You finally got through to the switch and he pulled back, sneering at the demon before walking away. 

Not-Brady started to laugh and you slapped him hard across the face. “Listen shithead. You’re only alive because I want you to be. Watch yourself!” He looked at you unimpressed and you raised your hand again before Crowley caught it. You lept back and clutched your hand to your chest.  _ Didn’t he just leave?  _ Your doms came back in and Dean squeezed the back of your neck in gentle reprimand before glaring at the prisoner.

“Good news.” Crowley circled the demon smugly. “You’re going to live forever.” You and your doms listened on in confusion as the king of Hell recounted his tale of deception and made up lovers. “So now that death is off the table and you’re inked onto Lucifer’s eternal torment schedule, let’s see if you change your tune.” His words were followed by distant barking and Dean sent out a wave of pure, white hot terror. You whirled around to look at him, unaware until that point that fear could ever be that strong. Sam swallowed.

“Crowley are those….are those hellhounds?” The demon king tilted his head and listened to the howling.

“I suppose they are.” Dean trembled and you reached out to hold his arm, playing off that you were fearful to save his pride. He struggled for a moment before spitting out a furious question.

“Why did you bring hellhounds here?” Crowley began digging through his pockets.

“I didn’t bring them on purpose.” He pulled out a coin that suspiciously resembled the one he had hidden in the impala. “It would appear that I was followed.” The howling and barking grew louder and Sam tugged at Dean’s shoulder.

“We have to get out of here.” Crowley waved his hand and the doors slammed shut.

“Sorry boys. You’re long past the point of ‘go’.” He flipped the coin through the air and into your hands before disappearing. Dean looked to be on the verge of vomiting. He wrenched himself from your grasp and into the kitchen, barking something about salt. Sam went to help him and you stayed behind to watch not-Brady.

The demon turned desperate eyes to you. “Get me the fuck out of here you little bitch!” Before you could come up with a reply, you heard the sound of glass breaking and shots firing. Sam and Dean came backing into the room, staring in fear at an invisible force. You felt the utter torment in Dean’s heart at the thought that he might not be able to stop the hellhounds. Suddenly, you heard a shout from a voice you were coming to have very mixed feelings about.

“STAY!” Tentative hope raced through Dean’s end of the bond and he looked at Crowley with quivering lips.

“You can...you can control them?” The king shook his head.

“Not all of them.” He patted the air next to him. “But I can control the biggest. Sic him, boy!” The brothers quickly shoved you further into the room as growls and whines broke out, blood and claw marks appearing from seemingly nowhere. Dean ducked down to scratch away the devil’s trap keeping not-Brady in place and the five of you ran from the shack and into the car, Sam yanking you to squeeze in his lap in the front.

 

 

 

Crowley handed over the intel and Dean held your hand while Sam took down not-Brady. You knew that Sam needed the closure and if you were being honest with yourself, you needed it too. Knowing that he had caused your dom so much pain and heartache made your blood boil. The fact that he had threatened to burn you alive was certainly a contributing factor. As the three of you drove away, you braced yourself for what was to come, knowing that things would be getting a lot worse before they got any better. Dean and Sam felt your nervousness and sent pulses of comfort and love through the bond and you smiled. Your soulmates definitely gave you a reason to hang on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get a day off=two mediocre chapters. I've got tomorrow off too so we'll see what happens!
> 
> Probably more smut because I've got some pervy ideas bouncing around


	15. You just might like it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey more smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely humans! I hope you're doing amazing!

Dean put the last apple slice on the plate and smiled. While he was still very much angry at Bobby, he did appreciate this opportunity. The older hunter had offered the trio use of his house while he went to spend a week with Rufus. Bobby must really want forgiveness if he was leaving the boys alone with his niece for that long and Dean wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Motel sex was all well and good but an actual house opened the door to other methods of taking his subs down. The day before he had washed your hair while you sucked his cock, taking advantage of Bobby’s surprisingly large shower. The dom hummed to himself as he opened the door to the den and stopped for a moment to take in the view. You and Sam were cuddled up together, Sam reading out loud while you listened and played with the buttons on his shirt. The whole scene was sickeningly saccharine but Dean couldn’t find it in himself to be anything other than happy. The sub and switch looked up when he came in and he set his plate on a side table before dropping two pillows on either side of an armchair and sitting down. He raised his eyebrows expectantly and Sam caught on to what his dom wanted, marking his place in the book before going to kneel on the lefthand pillow. You blushed when you realized what was happening and nervously kneeled on the other one, nuzzling into Dean’s hand when he stroked your cheek reassuringly.

 

“That’s right sweet girl, just relax.” Dean turned to Sam and raked long fingers through the switch’s hair. “Such a good boy for me.” The younger brother’s eyes drifted closed and he leaned his cheek on Dean’s thigh. You watched in fascination as Dean took a piece of cheese from his plate and brought it to Sam’s lips. Hazel eyes opened and locked with green as he took the cheese and Sam let out a soft sigh.  _ Oh… _ This seemed almost too intimate for you to be allowed to watch. You hid your face behind Dean’s other leg, only coming up when he tapped your temple. “Open up babydoll.” You accepted the crisp bit of apple, chasing Dean’s fingers to lick at the traces of juice. His lips quirked up in a smile and he shook his head, chuckling. “Behave” Dean continued to hand feed you and Sam, alternating between sweet grapes, juicy apples, and sharp white cheddar. The flavors seemed to become more pronounced with each offered morsel and you were floating deeper and deeper into a relaxed state, leaning heavier on your dom’s leg. When the plate was empty, Dean let you take his fingertips into your mouth, blinking up at him with blown pupils. A quiet whimper drew your attention across your dom’s lap to where Sam was nosing Dean’s other hand. “Easy Sammy, easy. What do you need?” Sam whimpered again and pawed at Dean’s leg. The dom leaned down to kiss his brother’s forehead. “Should we move to the bedroom?” You couldn’t help echoing Sam’s whined response, excited goosebumps making your arms tingle. Dean grinned and stood, taking you and Sam by the hand and leading you gently to the bedroom.

  
  
  


 

 

You and Sam shivered under Dean’s gaze. He had slowly stripped the two of you down before laying you side by side. “Look at the two of you. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” You blushed and covered your face with your hands. Strong fingers wrapped around your wrists and pulled your hands aside. “Ah ah ah, don’t hide from me babygirl.” He grinned and tilted his head playfully. “Now what am I going to do with my pretty subs?” Sam wriggled, cock already twitching in interest.

 

“Deeeeaaaan please” You had noticed that the brothers were both very vocal in bed, with Dean cooing out dirty praises that made arousal pool low in your belly and Sam babbling his desperation. By contrast, you tended to go nonverbal when you slipped into subspace, communicating more with emotions over the bond and the blissful sounds that the boys loved to coax out of you. While Sam continued begging his dom for attention, you let a sense of neediness skate from your mind to theirs, arching your back slightly in an effort to entice. Dean took one nipple from each of you between his fingers and twisted harshly, chuckling at the resulting whines.

“So greedy, both of you….” Releasing your nipples to run soothing hands down each of your torsos, he crooned. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need.” You itched to reach out and touch him but he had put your hands at your sides and you weren’t sure if you were allowed to move them. Dean smiled warmly. “Go ahead babygirl, you can touch. Just keep off the fun stuff for now.” You squealed in delight and grabbed the back of his neck, yanking him down for a kiss. Beside you, Sam groaned and reached out as well so he could start unbuttoning Dean’s shirt. The older dom pulled back with a laugh. “Alright, I guess we’re not being patient today.” 

“Nope” Sam lunged forward and pinned his brother, working quickly to reveal more freckled skin. You giggled and scooted to join in, gathering Dean’s hands in your smaller ones and holding them above his head. The older Winchester could easily break free from your grasp but he didn’t, curious to see what would happen if he let his kittens play at being the lions. He wasn’t disappointed by the results either when, as soon as he had removed all the offending clothing in his way, Sam swallowed his brother’s cock down in one go. The dom hissed and bucked his hips, making Sam gag a bit. You would have been concerned for the switch if he hadn’t moaned loudly and tried to push down harder with a sharp spike of arousal. Dean wrenched a hand free and grabbed his brother’s hair, holding him down while he fucked his throat. If the feelings running through the bond were anything to go by, Sam liked it rough and Dean had no problem giving it to him. You released the other captive hand and crawled over to where Sam was choking and drooling on his brother’s cock, not realizing that you had left yourself very vulnerable to your dom. Dean definitely noticed and used his free hand to trail light touches up and down the back of your thighs, drawing ever closer to where you were aching for contact. The more coherent part of your brain marveled at how easily he balanced his differing approaches. You weren’t able to spend too much time on your musings though as logical thinking was slipping farther and farther away. Dean tugged Sam’s hair, pulling the switch up and taking in his already wrecked appearance. 

“Hey baby boy…” The switch whined and arched against Dean’s grip, chasing the sensation of his hair being pulled, his pitch raising when Dean tugged harder. “You’re down real deep huh?” You leaned in to lick at Sam’s face, messy with drool and precum before kissing him deeply. Dean leaned up on his elbows and hummed in pleasure at the sight of the two of you together. “So pretty…” He let you play for a few more minutes before pinching each of you on the thigh and bringing your attention back to him. “Alright you’ve had your fun.” He grinned lewdly. “It’s my turn now.” You squeaked when he sat up and tugged you to the edge of the bed, letting your legs dangle onto the floor. “You sit and wait Sammy. I’ve gotta get our girl warmed up.” Dean licked his lips and dove in between your legs, holding you down when you squirmed. Sam must have worked him up a lot because there was no build up or restraint in the way he ate you out. By the time he pulled back, you were shaking and fisting the sheets, blushing when he made a show of licking up the slick that had gathered on your thighs. “You’re so sweet babygirl.” Sam whined and pushed desperation through the bond.

“Dean please….” The dom took pity on his brother and pulled him to his feet.

“Shhh Sammy, don’t worry sweet boy. I’ve got a plan for you.” He turned Sam to face your prone form. “What I want you to do Sammy” Dean trailed a hand down and took Sam’s cock in hand, stroking him roughly. “is use this big cock to make our little girl see stars.” He drew Sam’s cock to your pussy, running it up and down through your wetness. You and Sam gasped in tandem when Dean dragged the head of Sam’s cock over your clit. “Can you do that for me darling boy?” Sam breathed out shakily.

“Yes Sir I can do that” Dean guiding Sam’s cock inside you was hotter than it deserved to be and you almost came from that concept alone. Sam stretched you deliciously and you mewled, writhing on the mattress. “(Y/N) fuck! So tight!” You rolled your hips, making him drive deeper and he groaned, falling forward to mouth at your collarbone. You were lost in the sensations, pleasure growing higher as you sank deeper into a floaty headspace. A spark of surprised pleasure made your eyes snap open and you watched Sam’s face contort. Prodding at the bond, you realized that Dean had dropped to his knees and was licking his way into Sam’s ass. It wasn’t hard to tell when Dean had pressed a finger in since Sam’s thrusts faltered for a moment and he let out a high strangled sound. You smirked and squeezed your muscles, delighting in the whine that fell from his parted lips. Dean tapped your leg in reprimand. 

“Down girl.” He introduced another finger and twisted. “I don’t want him cumming yet. Not until I’m wrapped up in that pretty hole.” Sam sobbed, unsure if he could handle fucking and being fucked at the same time. Dean brushed his brother’s prostate and bit an asscheek teasingly. “You can do it baby boy. It’ll be so good Sammy.” He added more lube and worked another finger in. “And if you need to use your word that’s okay. Just try it for me okay?” Sam nodded and draped his body over yours so Dean could press into him. Dean groaned at the tremble of Sam’s walls around him. “Shit Sammy you’re squeezing me so good.” He took a deep breath before meeting your eyes over Sam’s shoulder. “You ready to take him for the ride of his life babydoll?” When you whimpered an agreement, he winked and pulled almost completely out of Sam’s ass before slamming back in. His thrust sent Sam’s hips crashing into yours and you arched up, pushing him back. Dean bit down on Sam’s shoulder before steeling himself. “Alright, here we go.” He started moving again and you and Sam were left to his mercy. This was probably the hardest the boys had ever fucked you and it was exquisite. Sam was babbling nonsense into your neck while Dean pounded into him. The dom leaned forward to growl into Sam’s ear. “Is that good Sammy? Do you like being in the middle? Like it when I use you to fuck (Y/N)? Such a good boy, helping me fuck you both at once. You’re so so tight Sammy. I bet you’re close aren’t you?” The switch cried out,   straining to hold off his orgasm until Dean gave permission. “Tell you what sweet boy, you can cum as soon as (Y/N) does. Make her feel good Sammy and then you get to.” Sam grinned darkly at you and angled his hips so that his cock was grinding into your sweet spot with each thrust. When he forced a hand down between your bodies to rub almost too-hard at your clit, you were done for. Seeing your mouth drop in bliss and feeling Sam clench down around him as he came sent Dean over the edge and his legs almost gave out as he fell apart. Gasping, Dean manhandled you and Sam to rest fully on the bed, flopping down on Sam’s other side and stroking his hands over his boy’s trembling muscles.

“There you go Sammy, there’s my darling boy. You did so good. I’m so so proud of you. Thank you for letting us try that, I know you were nervous but you were so brave for me. I’ll bet it was worth it, wasn’t it sugar?” Sam’s eyes stayed closed and he mumbled nonsensically. The switch was well and truly fucked out and you were delighted to be partly responsible for getting him that way. Dean picked up on your train of thought and smiled at you. “That’s right sweetheart, look what you did. You made him so happy. Made him feel so good. You’re such a perfect little sweetheart for us.” You hid your red face in Sam’s neck, curling around him and sighing happily when he pulled you closer. Dean kissed each of you on the temple and got up, shushing you when you whimpered in distress. “I’ll be right back honey. You snuggle with Sammy.” True to his word, he returned quickly with a couple of wet cloths and cleaned the three of you off. Sam was a bit more aware by that point, pressing himself against his brother while keeping a tight grip on your waist.

“We are definitely doing that again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have uploaded this earlier but I couldn't think of a title. It was just sitting in my computer under the header "idk something with sex?"


	16. Owned but Independent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys put their claim on Reader before setting out to get ring number three. They return to find her actively participating in the final showdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta keep a steady stream of fluff to go with the angst

“What's this?” The brothers looked up from their newspapers and Sam gasped in surprise at the leather cord in your hand.

“Where did you find that?” You hopped up onto the table. 

“It was in Dean's jacket. You guys really need to empty your pockets before putting things in the laundry hamper.” Sam turned to his brother who was trying and failing to hide his blush. 

“I thought you threw that out.” Dean grunted and shuffled his paper in front of his face, mumbling something behind the pages. Sam smirked. “What was that?” The older brother sighed and sat the paper down, staring at a spot on the ceiling to avoid eye contact.

“I did throw it out… But then I realized that I didn't want to give it up. Maybe it's worthless to Cas but it’s important to me.” You inspected the gold pendant.

“You still haven't told me what it is.” Dean took it from you, running his fingers over the worn surface. When it became clear that he wasn't going to explain anything, Sam spoke up.

“I gave it to him for Christmas when we were kids. Your uncle had said it was for Dad but I gave it to Dean instead.” The switch smiled. “And he wore it every day until just before we met you.” You cooed and leaned over to boop Dean on the nose.

“Awww you big softie…” He raised an eyebrow and booped you back.

“Only for you two.” He tipped his head in thought for a moment. “You should wear it.” Excitement ran through your veins. 

“Really?” Dean nodded.

“Sammy and I never did the whole collar thing but I think we should put something on you. I know it's not traditional and if you want something else we can go shopping but-” He was cut off mid-sentence by you throwing yourself into his arms and raining kisses over his face. Growing up, you had always looked with envy at the collars you saw subs wearing. They had fallen out of popularity in recent years since a very successful smear campaign by a sub rights group. Collars were a sign of ownership but despite what the people on talk shows said, they weren't oppressive. Doctors had proven multiple times that collars help regulate hormones and give subs comfort. When you’d seen Sam’s bare throat, you had felt a twinge of disappointment, thinking that your boys were more new-age. Now they were offering to claim you with something that was obviously important to both of them and it was better than any conventional collar ever could be.

“Yes please! Screw tradition this is so much better!” The brothers laughed and Dean handed the necklace over to Sam who looped it over your neck. Once he pulled your hair out from under it, you wriggled out of Dean's lap and into the bathroom to look in the mirror. “How do I look?” Sam came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, Dean’s reflection grinning at you from where he leaned against the door.

“You look beautiful babygirl. Beautiful and  **ours** .”

 

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


A few days later, you were sitting with your uncle in the dining room looking over troubling weather reports when a flurry of anger twisted through your mind. You glanced up to see Dean come storming through the kitchen, Sam slinking behind him looking ashamed.

“You have had some seriously stupid ideas in the past Sam but this is the worst!” Your uncle groaned.

“What are you boys yapping about now?” Dean whipped around with fire in his eyes.

“Oh haven’t you heard? Sammy here is going to say yes to the frikkin’ devil!” You and Bobby shifted guiltily and Dean snarled. “Oh you did know? Well thanks for telling me!” The anger and betrayal burned through you and you whimpered. Bobby put a comforting hand on your shoulder and Dean turned to Sam, pointing a finger accusingly. “You’re not doing this!” The switch shrugged.

“That’s the consensus.” Dean’s phone rang and he sighed, glaring at Sam again. 

“Don’t think we’re done talking about this kid.” He checked the caller ID and blinked in surprise before answering. “Cas?”

  
  


With Castiel seemingly downgraded to human status, the brothers set off to deal with Pestilence on their own. You kissed them hard before they left, flipping your uncle off when he openly gagged. “Promise you’ll keep the bond open this time?” Sam toyed with the pendant around your neck.

“Yeah we’ll stay connected.” Dean nosed at your cheek.

“But we reserve the right to turn the volume down if things go south.” You pouted, not in love with the compromise. Despite your best attempts to convince them that ‘going south’ was something you definitely wanted to know about, your doms steadfastly refused to let you in on anything they deemed too intense. Hopefully things would go well enough this time that you wouldn’t have to deal with sudden silence. With one final goodbye, they took off, leaving you to wait with your uncle.

  
  
  
  


“Are you almost done? You just spent a week with this guy!” Your uncle glared at you and returned to his phone call. He paled and dropped the phone when a voice sounded from behind him.

“Now now Cupcake… You know how exciting young love can be.” Bobby whipped around, cocking his gun at Crowley who stood in the kitchen. “Be a dear and tell him to put that away.” You rolled your eyes and stood up.

“What do you want Crowley?” Your uncle turned his head around to you.

“That’s Crowley? You know Crowley?”

“Of course she knows me. Cupcake and I go way back.” A shot rang out and the demon king hissed at the wound your uncle’s bullet had made. “It appears you’ve heard of me.” Bobby glared and made to fire again. You put your hand on his, lowering the weapon.

“Again, what do you want?” The demon held his arms out.

“What, I can’t pop in for a visit?” At your and Bobby’s eerily similar bitchfaces, Crowley sighed. “The boys are on to ring number three. I can help with number four.” Your uncle’s breath hitched as he did a poor job of concealing his excitement.

“You know where Death is?” 

“No.” Bobby went to grab another gun but you slapped his hand away.

“You’d better get to the point soon Crowley or I won’t be holding him back anymore.” The unwelcome guest raised an eyebrow.

“I may not know where Death is now but I do know a spell to find him. 100% success rate. I just need a little help with the ingredients.” Your uncle snorted.

“Somehow I don’t think you’re just here to borrow a cup of sugar.” Crowley smirked and shook his head.

“No if I needed sugar, Cupcake could’ve had me sorted by now.” He winked at you, ignoring your uncle’s threatening growl. “What I need is a bit more difficult to obtain.” You stepped forward.

“You need a soul.” Crowley nodded.

“I’ll give it right back, you’ll barely know it’s been gone.”

“What kind of simpletons do you take us for?” The monarch turned to you.

“Is he always this difficult to talk to?” You shrugged and Crowley resumed his pitch. “I will return the soul, completely undamaged. I only need it for a moment.” You nodded slowly and your uncle gaped at you.

“(Y/N) you can’t seriously believe this bullcrap!”

“He needs Lucifer gone just as much as we do. He’s got no reason to lie about this.” You eyed Crowley. “So how exactly do we do this? Do I have to learn a secret handshake or something?” Before he could answer, your uncle wheeled in front of you.

“No way you’re getting (Y/N)’s soul. Not even for a minute!” You groaned.

“Uncle Bobby I can make my own decisions.”

“My ass! If someone has to loan out their soul it’ll be me. No way in hell I’m letting you do it!” Crowley tutted.

“Well I suppose I could work with yours. Though I must say, I’m disappointed. I was quite looking forward to ‘sealing the deal’ as it were with you Cupcake.” Your uncle’s face turned a bit green.

“Oh balls, I forgot that part….”

 

* * *

  
  


_ What the fuck did you guys get yourselves into? _ You had found yourself once again emptying your guts into your uncle’s toilet. This time though, there was no comforting hand rubbing your back. The men who had cared for you last time were now the reason you were in this position. Nausea and pain ripped through you again and you whimpered, trying to keep quiet enough to not wake your uncle up. You sent another wave of comfort through the bond, brushing aside their guilt and rejecting the offers to close things.  _ Get it together (Y/N), be strong for them! _ Sam’s soul flared out in distress and you pushed love back, wishing you could do more. Just when you felt like you had soothed Sam decently, there was a crash of pain from Dean. You tried your best to feed him feelings of love and happiness but couldn’t help letting your own discomfort seep through. There was an attempt on Dean’s end of the bond to close things but it was weak and sluggish and you trembled with fear at the realization that your boys were so far gone that they couldn’t focus. Before you could dwell too much on how injured they must be, you felt a small stirring of hope. Adrenaline rushed through in a wave of confusion and after the fog had lifted, you knew your doms were exhausted but safe and on their way back. The sweet relief echoed through all three of you and with a small smile, you fell asleep leaning against the bathroom door, staying there until your doms found you a few hours later and helped you to bed.

 

* * *

  
  


Bobby came into the dining room and took in the view. “Well don’t you all look sunny?” You grunted from your perch in Sam’s lap. Dean sat beside you and the angel was leaning in the doorway. Castiel and the Winchesters were exhausted from their encounter with Pestilence and you were drained from feeling and trying to lessen the effects of the horseman’s assault on your soulmates. Ignoring Dean’s scowl, Bobby picked up the ring from the center of the table. “Hey, cheer up. How often do we get a win like this?” Sam shook his head.

“I’m not sure it is a win, Bobby. Right at the end of things, Pestilence said ‘it’s too late’.” Your uncle frowned.

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” Dean shrugged.

“We’re not sure but maybe he’s already planted something.” He gestured to the newspapers scattered through the room. “Please tell us you two have actual good news.” You shook your head.

“Chicago is about to be wiped off the map. Looks like some perfect storm is going to set off a chain reaction of natural disasters.” You bit your lip and looked at Sam apologetically. “The death count is expected to be around three million.” Dean groaned and put his head down on the table. Castiel’s brow furrowed.

“I don’t understand your definition of good news.” Your uncle rolled his eyes.

“You know who’s gonna show up for that kind of storm? Death. He’ll be there. And if we can stop him in time and snatch his power-ring, we can prevent this storm and save everyone.” Dean brought his head back up to glare.

“Oh is it really that easy?” 

“Look it’s not the best silver lining but it’s something” You snorted.

“It’s more like a shit lining around more shit.” Sam squeezed your knee.

“How did the two of you put this all together anyway?” Bobby looked down and you squirmed.

“We uh…. We had help…” Dean fixed you with a warning look.

“Help? What kind of help did you have?”

“Oh don’t be so modest Cupcake.” Sam, Dean, and Castiel started at Crowley’s entrance. “I barely lifted a finger.” He smirked at Bobby. “Go ahead. Tell them.” They turned to look at your nervously fidgeting uncle.

“Tell us what?” Sam glanced back and forth between you and Bobby. After a pregnant pause, your uncle sighed.

“World’s ending…. Seems kind of silly to get all precious over one single soul.” Anger shot through Dean.

“You sold your soul?” Bobby glared at the disapproving tone.

“I leased it. And you should be thanking me for stopping (Y/N) from signing on the dotted line!”  _ Crap _ Now both brothers were projecting anger.

“What’s he saying babygirl? Were you going to just hand over your soul?” You curled in on yourself and shrugged.

“I was going to do what had to be done. Like Uncle Bobby said, it’s the end of the world. And he was going to give it right back.” You knew that you were walking a fine line that probably led to punishment. “Doesn’t matter since Uncle Bobby’s the one who did it.” Sam suddenly frowned in curiosity and turned to your uncle.

“Did you kiss him?” Dean swatted his brother on the arm.

“Seriously Sam?”

“What? I’m just wondering!” You giggled

“Oh he kissed him alright….” Crowley cleared his throat and held out a phone with a picture of the sordid liplock. You felt fascination and disgust war within Dean before he stood up.

“Okay I can’t deal with that right now.” He rounded on Crowley. “Give him his soul back!” The monarch shook his head smugly.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I’m keeping it for now. Your brother is fairly kill-happy when it comes to demons but this soul is my insurance against being one of his victims.” You glared at the king, so angry that you could barely think.

“You….you assbutt! You can’t just hold his soul hostage!” He gave you a pitying smile.

“Oh but I can.” He paused. “Assbutt? Really Cupcake I expected better from you.”

  
  
  
  
  


Later, you were watching Dean take inventory of the car’s trunk. He was radiating anxiety and your heart ached.

“Dean… It’s going to be okay.” He chuckled bitterly.

“I wish I had your optimism babydoll. This whole thing is so far from okay…” His breath caught in his throat and he looked upwards, shaking his head hopelessly. “I don’t know how this is all going to end but it’s looking less and less like we’ll have a happy ending.” Green eyes glistened as he turned to you. “How the hell am I supposed to keep you two safe?”

“You can’t.” Both you and Dean looked up to see Sam approaching with a somber look on his face. He leaned against the car and sighed. “Not both of us.” Your heart dropped to your stomach and you reached out to take a large hand and squeeze it.

“Sam what are you saying?” He gave you a forced smile and squeezed back before turning to Dean.

“I know what you’re all thinking. I know that no one believes that I’m strong enough to take on Lucifer. And I don’t disagree.” Dean’s eyebrows shot up but before he could interject, Sam continued his self-deprecation. “I’m the last person that should be doing this. I know exactly how screwed up I am. You, Bobby, Cas? I’m the worst option. But it doesn’t seem like we have a choice.” You forced the switch into a hug, pushing love and reassurance into his mind. Dean cleared his throat before speaking gruffly.

“First of all, you are not screwed up. You’re one of the strongest people I know. And second, I know you have what it takes to do this but I can’t let you.”

“Dean we don’t have any other options. This is it.” The dom glared harshly at his brother, fury rolling off him in waves.

“This isn’t an option Sam. You aren’t doing it. End of story.” Sam was beginning to add to the anger rushing through your mind before a cough made all three of you turn to see Crowley standing a few feet away with a newspaper.

“Loathe as I am to interrupt this lover’s quarrel, there’s something you need to see.” You snatched the paper from him, eager for an opportunity to end the onslaught of rage.

“Niveus Pharmaceuticals is rushing delivery of it’s new Swine Flu vaccine. Shipments leave Wednesday” Dean sighed.

“Why do we care about this?” Crowley scoffed.

“Niveus Pharmaceuticals? Get it?” Neither brother responded. “Come on now you can’t seriously be this dim!” You gasped in realization.

“Isn’t that the company Brady worked for?” Sam’s face fell.

“So the Swine Flu outbreak was just step one of Pestilence’s plan.” Dean nodded grimly.

“And step two is the vaccine.” Crowley nodded.

“Glad we’re all caught up now. I can guarantee that those vaccines are chock full of top shelf Croatoan virus.” Bile rose in your throat as you slowly realized the implications.

“So a mass distribution…. That’s a hell of a plan.” Crowley winked at you.

“Don’t get to be a horseman for nothing Cupcake.” He turned to Dean. “So I’d say stock up on whatever you can get your hands on because this time on Thursday we’ll all be living in zombie-land.”

* * *

  
  
  


Sam and Dean had asked for privacy so you sat on the porch swing, flipping through the book on biblical analysis you had swiped from your uncle’s study. Maybe there was some vulnerability the boys had missed. Movement drew your eyes upward and you scooted over to give Castiel more room when he sat next to you.

“Hi Castiel” He stared straight ahead.

“Hello (Y/N).” An awkward silence passed before you realized he wasn’t going to say anything more.

“Can I help you?” He frowned.

“No I don’t believe you can. While Sam and Dean are instrumental in the fate of the world, you seem fairly unremarkable.”  _ Ouch. _

“Okay….. Did you come out here just to insult me?” He shook his head, taking in the view of the sunset.

“You humans think that your planet is the center of the universe. It’s not. It’s barely one speck of dust in the cosmos. But it is worth protecting.” The angel turned to you, blue eyes filled with conviction. “My brothers and sisters may think this world is unimportant but I have seen what humankind is capable of. You are responsible for great acts of death and destruction but are also filled with the capacity for love beyond what I had known existed. It would be a great tragedy for such potential to be destroyed.” You nodded.

“Yeah I’d like to keep the world turning.” He tilted his head.

“And yet, you won’t allow Sam to do what must be done to ensure that?” Anger flashed through you, startling the boys and you shot to your feet to glare at the angel.

“You want Sam to say yes to Satan? Whose side are you on?” He stood as well, looming over you.

“I am on the side of saving humanity. Believe me when I say that I wish there was another way to stop Lucifer but it is looking like this is our only option at this point.” Dean growled from the doorway.

“It’s not an option, Cas. Never will be.” The angel sighed and sat back down, head in his hands.

“I know Dean. I apologize for my moment of weakness. Of course we can’t allow Sam to say yes.” Behind Dean, you could see Sam with a grim look on his face. You sent a pulse of love his direction and his lips quirked up slightly but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“So what’s the plan?” Dean set his jaw and looked at you sadly.

“We’re splitting up. Sammy, Cas, and your uncle are going to go nip that Croatoan thing in the bud and I’m going to get us that last ring.” You crossed your arms.

“So who am I riding with?” His eyes flashed dangerously.

“You’re staying here and holding down the fort.”

“Like hell I am! Dean, I’m not completely useless. I can help.” Dean opened his mouth to respond but Sam’s quiet voice cut him off.

“She’s right.” The dom whirled around to glare at his brother. “Dean, this is our hail Mary play. We need all hands on deck.” Desperation shot through the older brother’s mind and he slumped his shoulders in defeat before looking at you over his shoulder.

“Fine, you’re coming with me. Go get ready before I change my mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda feel for Dean at this point.... And shit's about to get so much worse.


	17. Nothing Left to Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes down to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here's the new and improved version. Apologies again for pulling another chapter after posting it.

In retrospect, you really should have realized something was up. There was no way that Dean would have taken you with him to meet Death. Even if you were dumb enough to think that he would allow you to tag along, you should have noticed the sad way Sam had kissed you goodbye, as if it was the last time he would see you. But you didn’t. You had actually convinced yourself that the boys thought you could be useful. It wasn’t until Dean turned down a familiar street that you realized how stupid you had been.

“Dean where are we?” He set his jaw and avoided your eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You can’t be doing this!”

“I’m sorry sweetheart but this is for your own good.”  You shook with fury as he pulled into your mother’s driveway. “I promise that I’ll come get you as soon as this is over.” The front door opened and your mother came to greet you with a pinched look on her face. Dean got out of the car and waved to her, you following with a silent scowl. Angry tears spilled hotly down your face and you pushed all of the rage and betrayal you felt through the bond before closing off the connection, letting him stew in guilt. He blinked back his own tears, keeping a happy look on his face for your mother. “Baby please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”  _ Stupid girl. Of course he’s not bringing you. He’s just going to dump you here so you won’t be in the way.  _ When you still didn’t acknowledge him, Dean grabbed your arm and spun you around to face him. “(Y/N) please understand” You glared at him.

“I understand Dean. You need to get me out of the way because I’m a useless distraction to your fucking mission. I’m sure Sam knows all about this too. You guys are the ones who matter.” He growled and took your face in his hands.

“You are not useless kiddo, far from it. I just can’t bring you into this. I can’t.” His face crumpled as he allowed the built up tears to fall and he pressed his forehead to yours. “Please let me keep you safe. I  **_need_ ** to know that you’ll be okay. You can be as mad as you want but just do this for me. Please?” You huffed.

“Dean when are you going to start trusting me? I’m not helpless.” He shook his head and ran gentle fingers down your cheek.

“I know you’re not helpless. You’re a firecracker baby. I just can’t handle the idea of both you and Sammy being caught up in this. It’s too late to pull Sam out but I can at least keep you hidden and safe.” Realizing there was no way out, you shook your head.

“I’m not happy about this Dean. Do you think it’s easy for me to know that my soulmates are involved in a fight like this?” You sighed and stepped back. “When this is over, we’re going to have to talk about you guys trusting me. We’re supposed to be partners Dean. Let me help you.” He gave you a sad crooked smile and leaned down for a goodbye kiss.

“Alright babygirl, we’ll talk about it soon. I promise that I’ll be back before you know it.” He handed you a duffel and made his way back to the car before you stopped him, unzipping your bag and digging around.

“Wait, take this with you.” You blushed as you held out your stuffed rabbit. Dean chuckled and took Gigi.

“Thanks sweet girl.” You kissed him one more time and watched him pull away, shaking with the force of your sobs.

 

* * *

  
  


“How’d she take it?” Dean looked up at Sam bitterly.

“How do you think?” The switch sighed and flopped down next to his brother on the couch.

“It was the right call. She’ll forgive you.” Sam paused for a moment before studying his dom’s face closely. “That’s not all that’s bugging you though.” Dean held up the rings.

“No it’s not. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m in.” Sam’s jaw dropped. “If you really want to let Lucifer take you for a ride, I’m not going to stop you. This is a choice that you have to make on your own, Sam. I can’t keep treating you like a child. You’re my sub but you’re also a capable adult.” The dom found himself crying again. “I hate everything about this but you’re right, this makes the most sense.” It took a minute for Sam to get past his speechlessness.

“Dean….” The dom looked over at his soulmate.

“I don’t know if we’ve got a snowball’s chance but I do know that if anyone can do this, it’s you.” He shook his head. “It just goes against every instinct I have.” The switch pulled his brother in close and kissed him hard.

“Thank you Dean.” 

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam stared out the window into the night with a heavy heart. He hadn’t expected Dean to go for this plan and having his dom’s permission really hammered in how screwed they all were. Dean wouldn’t have said yes if there was no other way. One factor weighed heavily on his mind though. He looked to his brother’s grim stare on the road ahead. “Dean?” The dom lifted an eyebrow. “There’s something I’ve got to talk to you about.” He could feel dread pouring out of Dean and winced. “You know that if this works… It’s a one-way trip. I’m in there with him.” Dean nodded.

“Yeah I know. Don’t worry, I’m already looking at ways to spring you.” Sam shook his head.

“That’s why we need to talk. You can’t try to bring me back.” The older brother pulled over and glared.

“What the hell do you mean? I never agreed to that! Sam, my time in hell was pure torture and you’re headed for something world’s worse. You really expect me to just sit back and let you rot in there?”

“Dean, you can’t go poking at that cage once it’s shut. We can’t start this all over again.” The dom let out a broken sound that Sam had never heard from him.

“What am I supposed to do without you?” The younger Winchester shrugged.

“You have (Y/N). The two of you can live a happy life together. Give up hunting and let yourselves be normal. Have a nice boring white picket fence apple pie life.”

“We can’t live a happy life without you!”

“Yes you can. You’ve got biology on your side. You’re a dom, she’s a sub. I’m not a necessary piece Dean. Please don’t make her life about revenge. We’ve all had enough of that.” The dom slammed his hands against the wheel.

“Dammit Sam I don’t give a crap about biology! You’re necessary you dumbass!” Sam glared.

“Dean if you try to bring me back and Lucifer gets out, you’ll be putting everyone in danger, especially (Y/N). I need you to promise me that you’ll keep her safe. You said yourself that I’m heading for a nightmare in that cage. Don’t make me worry about the two of you on top of all that.” Dean pulled back onto the road, angry tears falling down his face.  _ How did everything go so wrong? _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


You had locked yourself in your room, ignoring your mother’s attempts to coax you out. Your heart ached with fear and betrayal and you couldn’t bring yourself to face her pitying face and smug ‘I told you so’s. You could feel the brothers arguing with each other, each devastated by what the other was saying and itched to go comfort them. At the same time, if they were just going to dump you to the wayside while they went off on a suicide run, you weren’t sure if you really wanted to give them comfort. A sharp pang of heartbreak came slamming into you from Dean and you winced before shutting off the connection entirely. Eavesdropping on their emotions was not helping you with the whole silent-treatment tactic. Huffing in frustration, you reached back to pull your hair into a ponytail, stopping when you touched the leather cord around your neck. Running your fingers down to where the pendant hang against your throat made you sigh. Contact with your pseudo-collar forced the bond open a little bit just in time for you to feel complete and utter horror from both brothers before Sam went deathly silent. You scrambled to cling onto your connection with Dean, too distracted to hear your mother scream. The door to your room slammed open and you forced yourself back into reality to glare at the three demons in the doorway. “What the hell do you want?” One of them, a female, sneered and raised her hand.

“The boss doesn’t want to leave his new pet without a toy. You’re coming with us little whore.” She flicked her wrist and your vision went black.

  
  
  
  


Sam looked back at his body in fury. Lucifer contorted his face into a smile at the mirror. “Calm down kiddo. I’m not such a bad guy.” Sam snarled back through the reflection.

“I’m going to tear you apart from the inside out!” Lucifer widened hazel eyes in pity.

“I don’t want to hurt you Sam. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time. We’ve always been family. Can’t you feel the connection? We’re closer than soulmates. That silly bond with your brother and the girl doesn’t even come close.” The switch’s blood boiled.

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to them! They’re my family. Not you.” Lucifer chuckled.

“You can’t lie to me Sam. I’m inside your head. I know that you never felt like you really belonged with Dean. You thought that pretty little girl would fix things but it still didn’t feel right did it? Poor little Sammy. Not a real dom not a real sub. You were right, they don’t need you. And you don’t need them.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Lucifer tilted his head. “Sam I only want you to be happy. And I’ve been merciful so far, haven’t I? I let your brother live and I can bring back your parents. I even brought you a present.” He snapped long fingers and Sam’s face twisted in horror when he saw you dragged in by demons.

“(Y/N)!” You looked between your dom’s body and his reflection in the mirror.

“Sam? What’s going on?” Lucifer looked down Sam’s nose at you and you were suddenly unable to speak.

“Quiet girl!” He turned back to the mirror. “Now Sammy, I’ve had your toy brought here for you as a peace offering. Don’t worry, we’ve turned off that pesky little bond so big brother doesn’t have to know she’s here.” He reached out and took you in strong arms, pulling you closer to the mirror and gathering your hair in his fist, yanking. “Just think of it. Dean’s always holding you back, doesn’t let you have any real fun. I know that deep down you want to see her cry and break and bleed for you.” Terror swept through you as you realized that this not-Sam was right, you couldn’t feel Dean at all. A hand at your throat made you gasp and you looked pleadingly into the mirror. “If you’re a good boy for me Sammy, if you play your part and help me defeat Michael, we can come back here and you can be the dom I know you are.” You struggled against the tightening grip, straining for air. Reflection-Sam shook his head in horror.

“Let her go.” The hand only tightened more and you gagged. “LET HER GO!” You moved your limbs sluggishly, trying to fight your way free but not-Sam was too strong.

“Sam Sam Sam… I won’t hurt her unless you make me kiddo.” You were released just as black began creeping in on your vision and you gasped, clutching at your throat. “She’s just a little bit of extra leverage.” Reflection-Sam trembled.

“Please let her go. I’ll do what you want just please don’t hurt her.” Not-Sam groaned.

“Really Sam? Such weakness over a silly girl? You’re better than this.” He grabbed your chin and turned your face, inspecting you with skepticism. “I could find you someone prettier you know.” He glanced back up at the reflection. “Perhaps it would be best to eliminate this distraction. She seems to be getting in the way.” Hazel eyes narrowed with hate and the last thing you heard was your soulmate screaming.

  
  
  
  


Dean cried out in agony as he felt the connection between his soul and yours sever. Bile rose in his throat as every trace of your soul faded from his mind. He had only ever felt this happen once before, back when Sam was shot in Azazel’s battle royale. With shaking hands, he pulled out his phone and dialed first you, then your mother. Neither of you answered and he swore, throwing his phone into the treeline. 

“You’re about to do something stupid aren’t you?” Bobby walked up behind him. “You’ve got that look.” Dean took a few deep shuddering breaths before speaking.

“(Y/N)’s dead Bobby. She’s fucking dead. I couldn’t even keep her safe! Now the devil is wearing Sam like a suit and even if I could somehow get him out of that cage, we’ve got no way to bring our girl back.” The older hunter cursed under his breath, unable to think of anything he could say. “I know you and Cas think that going to help Sam is a mistake. I know that I’m only going to see him die.” The dom sobbed. “But I can’t let him die alone. I have to do this.” Bobby pulled the older Winchester into a crushing hug.

“I’m so sorry it’s ending this way.”

 

 

 

.......


	18. Hollowed Out Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader reunites with Sam but things seem off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: The end of this chapter includes rape. If that's something you don't want to read, stop when you get to the triple line break.

Dying was nothing like you had imagined. People talk about their lives flashing before their eyes or a bright light with the voices of loved ones beckoning. No one had ever prepared you for the possibility that you would open your eyes to find yourself in a mud puddle being pelted by rain. Groaning, you sat up and rubbed your throbbing head.  _ What the fuck just happened? _ You brought your hand down to massage your sore neck and your fingers stilled when you touched your collar. The last time you had touched the worn leather cord, it had forced open your connection to your soulmates. This time, you felt nothing. Frowning, you brought your hand down to the gold pendant, focusing hard on the place in your mind where your soulbond lived. Silence.  _ Well that can’t be good.  _ Thunder rumbled and you pushed aside the heartbreak and shakily stood. Sitting around and drowning in a mud puddle wasn’t going to help anything. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you began trudging forward, hoping that you would eventually find a town or a road.

  
  
  


The diner was like an oasis. You must truly be in the middle of nowhere if a young sub stumbling in dripping wet and covered in mud barely raised eyebrows. You approached the counter and smiled at the waitress through chattering teeth. “I don’t have any money but I’d do just about anything for a cup of coffee right about now.” She looked you up and down before shrugging and handing you a dry rag.

“Dry your hair and sit down. We’ll see what we can do.”

  
  


* * *

 

It was weeks later when you finally knocked on your uncle’s door. After washing dishes at the diner (which turned out to be in the middle of Colorado) for a few days, you had scrounged up enough money for a bus ticket to Omaha where you started hitchhiking. It had taken a while but eventually you made it Sioux Falls. Bobby’s greeting wasn’t the warmest. You’d barely had time to say hello before you were once again soaking wet. This time drenched in holy water. “Uncle Bobby-”

“Shut up whatever you are. I know you’re not my niece.” You rolled your eyes, fighting back the frustrated tears that had been building since you woke up in that field.

“Uncle Bobby please. It’s me.” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes. “Do whatever tests you have to. I just really need you to believe me because I’m really fucking scared and I need your help.”

 

As far as your uncle could tell, you were alive and no worse for wear. He had quizzed you endlessly for details about the moments leading up to and immediately following your death but there were no explanations to be found for why you were back. After a long hot shower, you sat down at the dining room table to a bowl of soup.

“Have you heard anything from Dean? Or my mom? I haven’t been able to reach either of them.” Your uncle grimaced and looked away. “What?”

“I’m sorry (Y/N) but your mother’s dead. As for Dean…..” He trailed off and shook his head. “I’ve been trying to reach him too but nothing.” You put your head in your hands. “He took off after Sam got Lucifer locked up. Couldn’t handle losing both of you.” 

“Tell me about it.” You looked up at your uncle. “I can’t feel him Uncle Bobby. Whatever Lucifer did is still working. The bond is totally closed off.” Bobby sighed and looked at you sadly. Before he could offer any platitudes, the doorbell rang. You shared a concerned glance before your uncle grabbed a shotgun from his seemingly endless supply of stashed weapons and made his way to the door.

“Sam?!” You bolted.

  
  


“(Y/N) come out of there! I checked him. He’s fine.” You leaned against the locked bathroom door, shaking. You couldn’t face your soulmate. Sure, he hadn’t been in control of his body at the time but the look in his eyes when he killed you was still burning in the back of your mind. You tried again to reach out to him through the bond and frowned when you still felt nothing.

“If it’s him, how come I can’t feel him?” You could almost hear your uncle’s eyes rolling.

“Probably for the same reason neither of you can feel Dean. The devil’s been messing with your brains, kiddo. It’s probably going to take some time for things to reset.” Sam finally spoke up, his voice like a balm on your frayed nerves.

“(Y/N), sweetheart. Please let me see you. I’ve missed you so much.” Unable to ignore the pleading tone, you unlocked the door and shuffled forward, eyes on your dom’s shoes. Long fingers cupped your cheek and brought your face up to look into those hazel eyes. Your breath caught in your throat when, instead of hatred or scorn, you saw...nothing.

“Sam? Are you okay?” His reassuring smile seemed oddly hollow. 

“I’m better now that I have you. I’ll be perfect once we’re back with the rest of our family.”

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

‘The rest of our family’ turned out not to be Dean, as you had originally assumed. Instead, Sam’s long drive had ended with you standing in a room full of strangers.

“Sam? I thought you said we were going to find Dean.” The Winchester scoffed and pulled you farther into the room.

“Why would we do that?” You looked at the switch incredulously. 

“Oh I don’t know….maybe because he’s our dom? Our soulmate? Maybe because we love him?” Sam laughed and an older bald man stepped forward.

“Calm down kid. There are a few things you ought to know before you go getting your panties in a twist.” You scowled.

“What kind of things?” A stern looking woman smirked.

“Dean’s moved on sweetcheeks. He’s found some pretty lady and settled down.” You shook your head.

“You’re lying.” She laughed.

“I’m not. It barely took him a week to find a new squeeze.” She gave you a pitying stare. “Cheer up. You don’t have to stand by anymore while he molests his baby brother. You’re free now.” Rage flowed through you and you surged forward, raising your hand to slap the bitch. Sam caught your wrist.

“Hey now, we don’t hit.” You grinned darkly, knowing Sam likely had something even better planned for this scumbag.

“You’re right. Filthy liars like that deserve more than a slap.” The switch yanked you back.

“She’s not lying (Y/N). He thinks we’re dead. We can get away now.” You felt like vomiting.

“Sam… You don’t believe that. Dean’s your soulmate.” The older man spoke up again.

“There are ways to fake a soulbond (Y/N). Just like how there are ways to alter someone’s orientation. Turn a dom into a switch...” Your jaw dropped and you grabbed Sam’s hand.

“Sam, can I talk to you in private please?” He sighed and nodded, smiling apologetically at the others.

“We’ll be back tomorrow. (Y/N)’s got a lot to process.”

* * *

 

 

Dean’s gut twisted as he looked at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. This kid was so much like his soulmates. He had Sam’s big puppy dog eyes, (Y/N)’s gentle laugh….and a hell of a lot of spunk underneath that sweet spirit. He had first encountered Been at a convenience store. The boy had been ten cents short on his slushie and Dean had spotted him the change. When he’d seen the same kid trying to bike home with a flat tire and busted chain, it had been second nature to help him out. Lisa had been less than pleased to find out that her son had accepted money and a ride home from a stranger but was still grateful for the help. She’d taken Dean up on his offer to fix Ben’s bike, then the broken garage door and the leaky bathroom faucet. She bullied him into staying for dinner where he, in a moment of weakness, shared that he had just lost both of his soulmates. Ben’s father had been killed in one of the earthquakes during the apocalypse. He and Lisa hadn’t been soulmates but they were close and she knew how hard it was to be separated from a sub. It wasn’t a surprise to her when Dean showed up the next day with a set of tools and a vague explanation about noticing something wrong with her gutters. Before long, Dean was having dinner there nightly and after falling asleep on the couch one night, she moved him into the guestroom and he’d slept there every night since, your stuffed rabbit clutched tight in his arms. 

Dean cared for Lisa and Ben. They couldn’t replace the family he had lost but looking after them gave him something to do other than drinking himself to death and at least this way he was close to fulfilling his promise to Sam about living some kind of normal life. He hadn’t listened at first to the request to leave his brother in the cage. How could he? When everything came up as a dead end, Dean saw little point in anything else. As weeks turned to months, Dean started to think he could be content with this new life. He didn’t know if he could ever be truly happy again, but at least he was a little less lonely. Lisa tried to get him to hire service subs but he refused, not able to stomach the idea of looking into trusting hazy eyes that didn’t belong to one of his soulmates. Dom stabilizers had come a long way since he’d been taking them as a teen, back when Sam was still too young to really go down far enough to give Dean’s hormones the boost he needed. He could make do.

 

* * *

 

You nibbled at the food on your plate, not having had much of an appetite for days. After weeks of arguing about Dean's apparent new lover, Samuel Campbell had taken you to watch from the bushes as Dean sat down to dinner with a beautiful woman and her son. He looked far too at ease with them for it to be a visit. He really lived there. Since then you had felt numb. Loathe as you were to believe it, you couldn’t think of another reason for your soulmate to be living with a woman and child. 

Sam was little comfort, spending most of his time trying to convince you that you were better off without Dean. You hated the Campbells, hated what they’d done. The Sam Winchester you knew would never believe what he had said about Dean. It was obvious they had done something to poison his mind. Excusing yourself, you went to the bathroom to splash cold water on your face. You stared blankly at your reflection in the mirror. Your skin had paled, cheeks thinned, and there were dark circles under your eyes. As haggard as your face was, the harder thing to look at was your bare neck. After taking you back to his apartment that first night you met the Campbells, Sam had ripped your collar from your throat, calling it a disgusting reminder of Dean’s perversion. He had hidden it somewhere and you longed to have the familiar weight against your skin. A commotion outside the door made you tear your eyes away from the disgusting reflection. You exited the bathroom to find Sam doubled over in pain and clutching his stomach while the Campbell patriarch looked on in disapproval.

“Sam? What’s going on?” Samuel looked up at snarled at you.

“What’s going on is that you’re going to kill your dom with your selfishness!” You whimpered at the harsh tone and backed against the wall.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that you haven’t been letting him take your bitch ass down. You’re lucky to have him (Y/N) because if I were your dom, I would’ve beat you into submission ages ago!” You shook your head.

“First of all, what Sam and I do is none of your business. He doesn’t force me to do anything because he’s not a misogynistic ass. Secondly, it looks more like he’s dropping than anything else.” Mark, one of the younger Campbell men, slapped you hard across the face.

“He’s not dropping you dumb bitch! We’ve told you already that he was never a switch. That disgusting brother of his tampered with his hormones. He’s all dom now and you need to be a good little whore and do your job.” You bit your lip and looked over to Sam. Deep down, you knew that the Campbells were wrong about Dean. You also knew that you hadn’t gone down for Sam at all, and that you were constantly on the edge of dropping after waiting for so long. As wary as you were of this new Sam, you didn’t want him to suffer and you needed to go down if you wanted to keep your mental faculties going enough to figure out what was wrong with him. Glaring at the Campbell men, you stepped forward towards your soulmate.

“Fine.” You spat out your consent and took Sam’s hand in yours. “Let’s go home Sam.” He squeezed your hand so tight that you thought the bones would break and led you out of the house, smirking at Mark’s wolf whistles.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

_ Screw biology  _

You knelt naked on the bed, back to the door with your hands folded behind you just as Sam had demanded. As soon as you had consented to go down, your stupid hormones had kicked in, shoving you towards a drop. Now you were trembling as you waited for the tall switch to come in, unsure how you could submit to him if you didn’t really trust him. The door opened and you straightened your back. There was a low chuckle as heavy footsteps approached the bed.

“There’s my pretty whore.” You whimpered. The boys had called you many names in bed but never derogatory ones. “Did I say you could make noise?” You shook your head and bit your lip. “Good. Just do what I say and we’ll have so much fun.” The mattress bounced a little as Sam moved up onto the bed behind you and wrapped his fingers around your throat. Instantly, you flashed back to when Lucifer had done the same thing with that very hand and yelped, squirming out of his grasp.

“No Sam! Please don't do that! It's too much like what he did!” Sam snarled and yanked you back against him, putting his hand back on your throat and squeezing.

“How many times do I have to tell you that wasn't me, (Y/N)? Don't be so selfish, this is what I need!” You started struggling again and he pushed out a heavy cloud of pheromones. Usually, his pheromones made you relax and feel safe but this time you only felt terror as your body responded to the input without your consent, muscles going lax and movement slowing. “There you go… just relax and let Sammy take control.” He resumed choking you, only stopping when you were on the verge of losing consciousness. You bit your tongue to keep quiet as he tied you spread eagle on your belly, leaving your back and rear vulnerable. A large hand came down on your ass and you bit hard on the inside of your cheek to keep from crying out. Sam scratched harshly down your back, staring in fascination at the red streaks left behind. “Count!” You whimpered before finding your voice. 

“One Sir” 

**_CRACK!!!!_ **

“Two Sir” 

“Oh we're going to have so much fun…”

  
  
  


**_CRACK!!!!!_ **

“Seventy-four Sir” you hiccuped. Sam raked his nails over your ass, scratching hard into the already broken skin. You hissed and strained to keep still. “Would you like me to suck you now Sir?” Your bottom throbbed and you hoped he was ready to move on. Another strike had you screaming.

“I said you could count, I didn't say you could talk bitch!” You whimpered and curled up as much as your binds would allow. “As tempting as that offer is, I think I'd rather get in this cute little ass.” The blood froze in your veins. Anal was still new territory for you with the most experience being attributed to Dean's apparent need to put his tongue on every inch of your body. Sam had teased the tip of his thumb in once but you were in no way ready for his monster cock. There was no teasing this time as he forced a spit-slicked finger in fast. Your mouth fell open as the air left your lungs. Gripping the sheets, you mustered up the courage to speak.

“Yellow!” He ignored you and shoved another finger in, scissoring harshly. “Sam I said yellow! You have to-AH!” You cried out when he dug the nails of his other hand into your raw flesh.

“I heard you bitch. I also heard you agreeing not to speak.” He forced two more fingers in, ignoring your whines and struggles. “You know, I was going to be nice and take my time with this. But bad girls don't get prep.” With a grunt, he replaced his fingers with his cock, holding you down when you tried to squirm away. It burned, each thrust slamming his body into your bruised and battered rear. The pain was only magnified by the knowledge that this was  _ Sam _ hurting you. After a particularly hard snap of his hips, you started screaming.

“RED! SAM FUCKING RED! STOP PLEASE!” He growled and fumbled for a moment before shoving some fabric- _ his underwear _ -into your mouth. Screams muffled, you fell silent. It was like your whole body had gone numb. You heard Sam groaning behind you, insults and harsh words leaving his mouth in a sick mockery of the sweet nothings the brothers usually showered you in. When he had finished, he untied you and barked at you to clean yourself up.

That night you waited for him to fall asleep with baited breath. Once you were sure that he was well and truly out, you wriggled free of his tight hold. Packing a bag was nerve-wracking and you froze whenever you made a sound. Fortunately, this new Sam slept deep. Just as you were tip-toeing out of the bedroom, you saw a familiar glint of gold from Sam's open sock drawer. Collar clutched tight in your hand, you slipped out of the apartment and into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's something I've written now..... Please don't hate me?


	19. Reunited and it Feels so....Bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is pissed. So so so pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than I'd like it to be but I feel icky leaving that shit from yesterday hanging there.

Dean’s had his fair share of nightmares. There were the usual ones from when he was a kid, silly stuff like losing a toy. As he got older and learned about all the things that go bump in the night, his nightmares grew more detailed. After returning from Hell he’d had constant nightmares about going back, being tortured or worse-seeing Sam and later (Y/N) on the rack bleeding under his blade. He never expected that finding out his brother was alive would turn into a living nightmare much worse than his subconscious could ever invent.

Sam’s explanation of what was happening was difficult to track over the ringing in his ears. Dean stared at his soulmate, horrified by the pure nothingness he felt coming from the other man. Sam hadn’t touched him since walking into the garage. Before the whole mess went down, they’d had a hard time keeping their hands off each other but now, Sam seemed to be keeping a wide breadth of distance. He also refused to meet Dean’s eyes. Dean listened in disbelief as Sam admitted that he had been alive for the whole year. 

“So I’m thinking I’ll take you to meet the people I’ve been hunting with and we’ll make a plan for taking this thing out.” Dean held up a hand, stopping Sam as he began to stand.

“Hold on just a second. First, we’re not going anywhere until you tell me where the hell you’ve been. Second, I’m not leaving Lisa and Ben alone when there’s something out there.” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I told you already, I’ve been hunting.”

“Why didn’t you come to me Sam?” Dean’s voice broke as he struggled to contain the anguish. “You’ve been alive this whole time and never even called! What the hell?!”

“You seemed happy here. I’d hate to spoil your opportunity at real happiness Dean.” The older Winchester frowned.

“Real happiness? You think ‘real happiness’ is sleeping alone every night, missing my soulmates? You think it’s taking those awful drugs because I can’t stomach the thought of domming someone who isn’t you? I’m miserable Sam.”

“You sure don’t seem miserable. Moved on pretty fast.” The dom growled.

“It’s not like that Sam. You would know if you would just open the friggin’ bond.” The switch scoffed and shook his head.

“Look Dean, if you need to hide your new family before we do anything else, I’ll take you to Bobby’s. I’m sure he’ll let us ditch them there. But then you’re coming with me.” The older Winchester agreed reluctantly. Hopefully if he kept up with the charade, he would figure out what was happening with his brother.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“You knew he was alive this whole time and never told me?” Bobby sputtered.

“I thought you knew. He came and got (Y/N) and the two of them went to find you.” He squinted at Sam. “Where is (Y/N) anyway?” Sam shrugged.

“I don't know”

“What do you mean you don't know?!”

“I mean I don't know. She left in the middle of the night and ditched her phone.” Dean's head was snapping between the two men so fast he wouldn't have been surprised if he got whiplash.

“(Y/N)'s alive too?” Bobby nodded.

“She showed up here just before Sam. Two of them left together.” Dean turned to his brother with a deadly glare. 

“And you fucking lost her?” Sam's nonchalant expression did little to calm the dom.

“Like I said Dean, she took off.”

“How long ago?” When the switch didn't answer, Dean lunged forward, shoving the taller man against the wall and fisting the collar of his shirt. “How long ago did she disappear?” 

“About eight months or so.” Dean snarled and pulled Sam forward before slamming him into the wall again.

“And you haven't found her yet? Did you even look?” The switch shoved his brother back.

“No Dean, I didn't look. Why would I? I don't need a sub who doesn't listen!” The sound of a gun being cocked made the brothers turn to a furious looking Bobby.

“Get the hell out of my house.” 

“Bobby-” The older hunter shot a hole through his window.

“Get out or it'll be your head.” Sam looked to Dean for support but his brother's face was somber.

“You need to leave Sam. I can't even look at you right now.” He sighed heavily. “I'll call you tomorrow or something, just go.” 

The switch moved to the door angrily. “Fine, I’ll go. But we had a deal, Dean. I’ll be back at your house tomorrow and you’ll come with me, no questions.” After the switch left, Dean turned to Bobby.

“Tell me everything you know.”

 

* * *

 

 

Checking the contents one last time, you closed the trunk of the old subaru. You had been delaying this trip as long as you possibly could but there was really no stalling left to do.  _ Here goes nothing. _

 

Pulling up, you ignored the pang of heartbreak. The last time you’d been at this house, it had destroyed you emotionally. For the millionth time, you questioned your own sanity. Why the hell were you working a job this close to Dean? In the back of your mind, you knew that you still held a soft spot for your dom. When the djinns you had been tracking started circling his neighborhood, you’d known that you couldn’t just leave it alone. With a deep breath, you crept to the back of the house, searching for an open window and a place to hide.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dean took in the hatred in his supposed family’s eyes. The Campbells had none of his mother’s kindness, welcoming him like the plague. After the fourth pointed comment, he grew irritated. “So are we going to talk about whatever your problem is with me? Because I’ve gotta say, this takes ‘awkward family reunion’ to a whole new level.”  The woman-Gwen-sneered.

“Sorry, we just don’t take kindly to child molesters.”

“Excuse me?” 

“We know what you did to your brother Dean.” The words were like a knife to the gut.

“What I did to him? I didn’t do anything he didn’t want or need. Sam’s my soulmate.” He whirled around to see his brother with a grimace on his face. “Sammy, tell them.” Sam shook his head and remained silent.

“You can’t lie to us Dean. We know the truth.” Dean’s jaw dropped as his grandfather walked into the room. “I’ve got to say, I was surprised to hear how deep your depravity went.” Dean stepped back, fighting the wounded noise in the back of his throat.

“So what, I’m some kind of pedophile? Is that what you all think?” He turned to his sub. “Sam, you know I would never do anything to hurt you.” The switch shook his head and the Campbell patriarch put a hand on the taller Winchester’s shoulder.

“Look Dean, we aren’t monsters. We’re helping Sam heal from what you did. And we can help you too. Just admit that what you did was wrong.” The dom felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“I don’t know what you fuckers have done but I promise that once I figure it out, I’ll make you pay.” He walked towards the door. “Sammy, I promise I’ll come back for you but right now I’ve got a girl to find.”

  
  
  


The Campbells watched him leave with scorn. After the rumble of the engine faded away, Samuel looked at his grandson. “You okay? That must have been hard for you.” Sam shook his head.

“He tried to touch me. I thought I was going to be sick.” The switch shuddered. “I think I need more medicine. Something about being around him…. It made things worse.” Samuel squeezed his shoulder.

“Of course son. Let’s get you some of your medicine.”

  
  


 

* * *

 

The house was empty and you couldn’t help snooping a bit. You passed the child’s room, noticing the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. Making your way into the master bedroom, you were surprised to only see women’s clothing in the closet. The attached bathroom had only one toothbrush on the sink, Dean’s aftershave missing from the cabinet.  _ That’s weird… _ You left the master and opened the last door in the hallway, expecting to see an office or generic guestroom. Instead you found a chair with Dean’s jacket tossed over it, dresser full of worn band tshirts, and a twin bed with rumpled covers surrounding a familiar stuffed animal.  _ Oh… _ Was it possible that Samuel had been lying? You stole a tshirt from the hamper in the corner, breathing in the lingering scent and sat on the bed. Even if Dean hadn’t moved on, you knew that you couldn’t be with Sam anymore. And they had been together longer. If it came down to a choice between you or Sam, you knew which way Dean would lean. You were pulled from your thoughts by the echoes of a scream from the house next door. Jumping into action, you ran down the stairs and nearly collided with Dean Winchester.

“(Y/N)? Babygirl is that you?” You looked up slowly, afraid that you would see the same emptiness in his eyes as you had in Sam’s. Once you saw those green eyes staring back at you though, all the fear left. You gasped as the bond stirred to life again in your mind, weakened but there for the first time in a year.

“Dean….” He pulled you into a tight hug and you clung to him with every ounce of strength you had. Strong fingers ran through your hair and a warm hand pressed into the small of your back, pushing you closer into your soulmate’s embrace.

“I missed you so much sweetheart. I’m so sorry that you’ve been alone. But I’m back now and we’re going to get Sammy straightened out and the three of us can be a family again.” You stiffened at the mention of the younger Winchester but before Dean could ask what was wrong, another scream pierced the air. You pulled back and reached for the handgun in your waistband.

“Let’s take care of that monster and then we’ll talk.” Dean looked with shock at your retreating back. When did his girl become a killer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw shit we're introducing some fucking subplots


	20. The Killer Inside the Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dark history of the Campbell family is revealed. Dean struggles to navigate the minefield of emotional trauma his girl has developed and begins to understand what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like there should be some kind of warning here but I'm not sure how exactly to word it.... The beginning mentions something akin to those programs that claim to "cure" people of homosexuality (programs I absolutely disagree with). There's sort of an equivalent of sexism going on? I guess just proceed with caution.
> 
> Also I know the beginning is kind of giving off some "holy exposition batman!" vibes. Sorry!

Samuel Campbell is under no illusions. He knows that he's not a kind man. Some fathers indulge their children, filling them with lies about how they were perfect just as they were. He did his daughter no such disservice, making sure she knew that in order to get what you want in the world, you must follow certain rules. His family had one rule that stood over all others. Campbells were doms. They obviously married subs but the family bloodline only produced dominants. This dated back to before the family set foot on American soil and it was an unquestionable truth.

Samuel's great great aunt was the first to break that rule. Martha was a dark smudge on the family tapestry, allowing herself to grow into a lesser creature. Her mother had been horrified to see Martha become a sub and had done the merciful thing, taking her daughter’s wasted life. There was a silver lining to the shameful tragedy that was Martha Campbell. Losing his sister to the disease of submission had inspired her younger brother to dedicate his life to finding a cure. Benjamin Campbell worked tirelessly to develop a serum that could alter the chemistry of the body. He struck a deal with the local asylum, taking in the subs they found too burdensome to gain test subjects. Benjamin died without seeing any real success with his creation but his daughter continued his mission. Eventually, a formula was found that could mimic dom hormones. The serum was the family’s greatest pride and best kept secret with even natural-born dominants taking it to enhance their own authority. Samuel had seen it do wonders with his own brother, curing him of submissiveness. He was so proud of his family’s discovery that he named his daughter after the serum’s inventor, Mary.  This later proved to be a somewhat ironic choice as his Mary would end up needing the cure as well, tests showing that her blood was tainted in the sickest of ways.

He had tried so hard to fix his daughter but she was as stubborn and headstrong as the rest of her family. His poor sick Mary actually believed that there was such a thing as a switch, that it was different from a weak dominant. Despite his best attempts to sneak the serum into her body, Mary refused. Sending her to the conversion ranch didn't even help. When she had left the family and shacked up with that switch-happy Winchester, Samuel had thought all was lost. Fortunately, he’d been given a second chance in his grandson. Samuel would make sure that the boy named for him would never again lower himself to the ranks of a sub. And if it took some lying or manipulation to ensure it? Well...he knew he wasn't a kind man.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Dean shouldn't have been surprised. His girl was sweet and gentle but she was was also a little spitfire. When you took down one of the djinn on your own, he just stared slack jawed for a minute. Of course he didn't have much time to marvel since there were three more monsters to deal with. He got one and turned to see you struggling with another. Before he could offer any help, a tall and familiar figure came in swinging. It was almost lucky that the Campbells stormed in to finish off the remaining djinn because you and Dean both froze at the sight of your soulmate. When Sam's eyes landed on you, a sharp wave of fear and heartbreak rocketed through the muffled bond. Dean frowned, wondering what could have happened to make you that afraid and knowing that he wouldn't like the answer. You quickly put as much distance between you and the switch as possible, careful not to turn your back. You were so focused on avoiding your soulmate that you backed straight into the Campbell patriarch.

“Well well look what we have here.” He pinned your arms to your sides, weapon slipping from your hand. “Sam I've found your little runaway.” You struggled in his grip, panic racing through you straight to Dean.

“Get your hands off of her you son of a bitch!” Dean's voice was lower than you had ever heard it, fury packed into every syllable. Samuel ignored the threat and leaned down to speak right into your ear, his hot breath making you tremble.

“Looks like Sam's lesson on obedience didn't take. I bet I could mold you into a good little pet. It would only take one night. How does that sound, whore? I'll take you home and teach Sam how to use you properly.” You felt like you were going to be sick and your soul screamed out in distress, making Dean snarl and lunge forward, crowding the old man. You could feel the warmth from your dom's body and longed to bury your face in his chest.

“I told you to get your filthy hands off of my girl.” The two men stared each other down, fire in their eyes. Every fibre of Dean’s body wanted to rip his grandfather to shreds but the two of you were outnumbered and he knew it.

“Let her go.” The three of you looked to the other side of the room where Sam was standing. “It doesn't matter.” Samuel snorted and shoved you into your dom's arms.

“Don't worry little whore, we'll have our fun soon.” Dean glared at the old man and held you tight, tucking your head under his chin.

“Keep talking to her and it's the last thing you'll do.” His soul was shooting fury in every direction. The younger Winchester cleared his throat pointedly.

“Can we just go Samuel?” He was steadfastly avoiding looking at his soulmates. Dean searched his brother's expression, trying to get a read on what was going on in Sam's head.

“You're not coming with us?” Sam rubbed the back of his neck. For a second, Dean could have sworn he saw longing in his boy's eyes but they quickly went back to vacant. Mark clapped Sam on the shoulder hard and the switch cringed.

“Give it up Dean. You might have your little bitch back for now but you're never hurting Sam again.” Dean's arms were squeezing you tighter as he shook with emotion. Finally, he cleared his throat and gave Sam a long look.

“I don't know what's going on with you Sammy but I swear I'm gonna fix this. We love you and I know you love us. You will always have a home with me and (Y/N).” The switch hesitated for a moment, frowning before he shook his head as if to clear it and walked out. Once he was sure that you were alone, Dean looked down at the sub in his arms. His heart clenched when he saw how thin you had become, how sick you looked. Even with the threat long gone, you were radiating anxiety. He slowly moved to the couch, stretching his legs along the length of it with you kept safely cradled in his lap. “(Y/N)? Can you look at me sweetheart?” Your bloodshot eyes snapped up to meet his and he carefully pushed feelings of love and comfort and safety through the bond. Encouraged by your small smile and minute relaxation, he released a gentle wave of pheromones. Immediately, you went rigid. Panic skittered across your mind to his and you thrashed in his arms. “Whoa calm down… It’s okay babygirl.” You stopped moving but remained on edge until the cloud had dissipated. Dean leaned in slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, wondering how the hell he was going to fix things.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“Here you go Sam, take your medicine.” The tall man accepted the hot cup of tea, medicine mixed in. Samuel had been kind enough to give him a double dose tonight since being in the same room as Dean and (Y/N) had really done a number on him.

“Thank you. Hopefully this will make my headache go away too.” Samuel smiled kindly at his grandson.

“It should. You did a good job today son. I know it must have been awful to see him again.”

“It’s just frustrating. I feel like the medicine is working but every time I see him, I can feel my body responding.” Sam took a sip of his tea, staring into the cup with a puzzled expression. “I don’t understand. You said that you could reverse what he did. This seems less like a reversal and more like constant maintenance. Will I be like this for the rest of my life?” 

“You just have to give it time. He’s had decades to meddle with your mind, Sam. It’s not fair for you to expect yourself to be fine so quickly.” Sam yawned widely, the medicine always making him sleepy.

“But how is he still affecting me? He can’t be drugging me anymore and I don’t think there was any spellwork going on.” Samuel shrugged.

“I’m not sure son but we’ll get to the bottom of this.” He helped his grandson to bed, the taller man clumsy with exhaustion and confusion. Sam was out as soon as his head hit the pillow and Samuel stared at his sleeping face, remembering the first time he had seen his grandson passed out from the serum all those months ago.

 

_ “So we're lying?” Of course it was Christian who had reservations. That boy needed a stronger hand. _

_ “We're telling him what he needs to hear. Sam's been degrading himself his whole life and with his brother no less! It will take extra work to set him right.” _

_ “But they really are soulmates. Won't this damage him?” Samuel growled and turned to Christian. _

_ “From this moment forward they aren't. You won't be breathing a word of this to the others or you'll be in for a world of hurt.” Gazing back down at his freak of a grandson, Samuel sighed. This was going to be a long process. _

  
  


* * *

 

 

You and Dean drove separately back to your uncle's. He had offered to give you a ride but you declined, needing to think. It was clear that the dom still wanted you but he wanted his brother too. You weren't sure how you could possibly trust Sam again after what he had done. The switch seemed determined to stay away but you knew that if anyone could change Sam's mind, it was Dean. It was only a matter of time before the three of you would be together again and you knew you would have to leave. As you pulled up to the house, you made a grim decision. You had to keep a distance between you and Dean. Letting yourself get close again would only make it that much harder when the other shoe dropped. 

  
  


Your determination lasted about six minutes. As soon as he sat on the loveseat and lifted an arm invitingly, you curled up to him. It had been so long since you felt his arms around you and now you were drawn to the familiar comfort like a moth to a flame. And just like said moth, you knew that you would end up being burnt to a crisp by the temptation. It was just so hard to resist this when you had spent a year mourning his absence. A few minutes later, you were joined by the people he had been living with. The woman was even more beautiful up close and you couldn't help feeling threatened by her presence. Dean chuckled when he felt the touch of jealousy. “(Y/N), this is Lisa and Ben. They've been letting me stay with them but don't worry babygirl, I could never replace you.” You blushed, trying to ignore the voice in the back of your mind.  _ He might not replace you but he won't keep you. Not when it's between you and Sam… _ Swallowing the heartache, you forced a polite smile and shook Lisa's hand when she extended it.

“It's lovely to meet you, (Y/N). Dean's told me so much.” You nodded silently, unsure how to respond. Fortunately, Lisa seemed to sense your discomfort and didn’t push for more interaction. You sat in silence, listening to the rumble of Dean’s voice as he spoke with Lisa and Bobby. When the last traces of sunlight had faded from the windows, Bobby stood.

“Well I’m going to bed. You kids don’t stay up too late now.” Lisa laughed and stood as well, going to make sure that Ben had actually gone to sleep like he’d promised. Dean gave you a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s get some rest sweetheart.” He froze when you went rigid, heart racing. “(Y/N)? What’s wrong sugar?” 

Little did he know, you were arguing with yourself. The last time you shared a bed with someone was that night with Sam and while you wanted to stay close to Dean for as long as you possibly could, you weren’t sure if you were ready to be that vulnerable. After some gentle prodding, he finally got you to admit that you were nervous about sleeping in the same bed.

“Okay I can work with that. Do you want me to stay down here on the couch? If you don’t want me in the house, I could sleep in my car or get a motel room.” You chewed at your bottom lip and Dean had to fight the urge to stop you the way he would have in the past. “Sweetheart, I want to make sure you feel safe but I need some parameters here.”

“I don’t know what I want.” You sighed. “It’s not that I don’t feel safe with you Dean. Hell, I feel safer with you now than I have for a long time but I just…” You trailed off and Dean thought for a moment before nodding to himself.

“What about this; we’ll go upstairs and you can sleep in the bed. I’ll grab a couple blankets and camp out on the floor.”

“That…..that could work.” You smiled bitterly. “Sorry for all of this.”

“You don’t need to apologise for anything. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I should have found you sooner.” You laughed.

“Dean that’s ridiculous. You didn’t even know I was alive.” Dean gave you a playful grin.

“So neither of us should be sorry.”

  
  
  


Dean woke up to the sound of his sub crying. Sitting straight up, he looked over to the bed where you were thrashing in the sheets. He cursed and came closer, trying to hear the words you were whispering. Once he heard them, he felt sick.

“No please….Sam please stop….it hurts….” Dean reached out tentatively and tapped your shoulder.

“(Y/N) wake up.”

“Please please stop….I’m sorry Sam....”

“ **(Y/N)!** ” Your eyes shot open at the authoritative command. Realizing you weren’t alone, you shrieked and scrambled across the bed, falling off when your legs tangled in the sheets. Dean rushed to help you up and you flinched back from his hands.

“Red! Red red red red!” Your voice was full of terror and he backed up quickly, hands up in surrender.

“Easy baby, easy. I won’t touch.” You got free of the sheets and stood up, breathing erratically. Suddenly, your eyes widened and you looked to Dean in awe.

“You stopped.” He nodded slowly, confused.

“Of course sweetheart. If you say red everything stops. Always.” When shock was still evident on your face, a terrible thought occurred to him. “(Y/N)... Did Sam ignore a safeword?” You shrank back, unable to meet his intense gaze. “Babygirl please tell me.” After an agonizingly long pause, you nodded minutely. 

“Oh (Y/N)....” Dean came forward, stopping himself just a foot away from you. “Sweetheart I’d really like to hug you if that’s alright.” You threw yourself into his arms and finally let yourself cry the tears that had been building up for eight and a half months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said this a lot but every single comment makes my day. You guys are all wonderful and I really appreciate you taking the time to give feedback. I want this to be a story that you enjoy reading and I hope that I can continue providing something you like.


	21. Make Me Whole Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the smuttiest smut to ever smut but smut nonetheless. Sam is starting to question the holy gospel of Samuel and Reader finds a place in her heart for the switch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay with this one. Work kicked my ass and it's gonna suck today too. Will someone go for me?

After you had opened up to Dean about what happened, it was like a weight had been lifted. It took a long time for you to get all of the details out in the open  but Dean was patient and let you share at your own pace. He kept calm the whole time you were speaking but you could feel his anguish. While you were still fairly convinced that you would be on your own when all was said and done (a thought you didn’t share with your dom), it was nice to have someone be angry on your behalf. Logically, you knew that what Sam had done was wrong but months of reliving the event in your nightmares had twisted and warped it. Lately, you had been wondering if there was something you had done to cause it.

 

Both you and Dean had agreed not to tell Bobby the intricacies of what happened, chalking up your leaving to some kind of argument. Your uncle wouldn’t hesitate to snap Sam’s neck, something you’d rather avoid. Dean still believed that your family could be rebuilt and while you didn’t necessarily agree that the three of you could be happy together, you wanted to get Sam back for Dean.

  
  
  
  


“Think (Y/N)! There has to be something going on.” You groaned from your place slumped facedown over the table.

“What the hell do you think I’ve been doing this whole time? I’m telling you Uncle Bobby, it’s like he’s a different person. I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find anything that explains it.” You lifted your head, resting your chin on your arms. “The things he said about Dean…… It’s just not Sam.” As if summoned by his name, Dean came in and took the seat next to you.

“Bobby, we all want to get Sammy back to normal but if (Y/N) says she doesn’t have anything to go on, then she doesn’t have anything to go on.”

“All I’m saying is that maybe we can think of something she missed. There’s no shame in using a second pair of eyes.” As annoying as it was, your uncle had a point. You sighed and leaned back in your chair.

“Alright, what do you want to know?” Bobby grabbed a notebook and a pencil.

“Let’s start with you walking me through a typical day. What time did you wake up?”

 

“....and then we would all sit around the table and go over past or upcoming missions. Sam preferred to just sleep there so we didn’t even go back to the apartment very often.” Bobby nodded and looked over the notes.

“Anything else you can think of? New hobbies, changes in diet?” You shook your head.

“Not really. If anything he has fewer hobbies now. As for diet, everyone eats the same thing. It was like being in a cult or something. Samuel runs everyone’s lives.” You shuddered and scooted closer to Dean.

“Does Samuel dish everyone’s food out? Do you think he could be adding something to that?”

“I don’t think so…. I ate the same things Sam ate. The only thing I didn’t have was-” You suddenly felt like an idiot. “Oh shit!” Both of your tablemates turned to you.

“Oh shit…?”

“There was this tea that Sam drank every night. I didn’t really think anything of it because a few of the others drank it occasionally too but only Sam and Samuel had it every single night.” Bobby started pulling books from his shelf.

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Did you ever drink it?”

“No way. That stuff smelled like armpits.” Dean snorted.

“Sounds like some healthy crap Sam would be into.” Bobby dropped stacks of books in front of each of you.

“Alright, start looking up potions or poisons that might explain this. (Y/N) any suggestions on specific effects that we should look for?”

“Apart from general douchiness?” You looked up at the ceiling in thought. “Increased aggression, insane capacities for focus, lack of... basic empathy” Dean sent a pulse of reassurance, knowing what you were really referring to. “Oh! He’s also been sleeping like a log!” With a goal established, the three of you got to work.

  
  
  


After five fruitless hours of digging, you had forced everyone into taking a break. If your eight month crash course in monster killing had taught you anything it was that the human brain needs downtime. Lisa and Ben said their goodbyes, you and Dean each taking the time to offer them private farewells. Having your dom’s affections again had made you less insecure about his time spent with them and now you were able to truly appreciate all Lisa had done for him. Knowing that Dean had a place to call home and people who cared for him when you were gone was a bit of a comfort. Who knows what condition your dom would be in if he hadn’t had a safe place to rest his head all this time? 

After they left, Dean brought you to sit on the porch swing. Curled up next to him, you couldn’t help remembering that first night with your boys. If the melancholy vibes coming off Dean were anything to go by, his mind was in the same place. After a long silence, you decided to bite the bullet.

“Dean?” Green eyes focused on you. “There’s something we need to talk about.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Say we get Sam back to normal. What are we going to do then?”

“What do you mean?” His brows furrowed in confusion and your stomach twisted in knots. You really didn’t want to say this.

“Dean what Sam did….. I don’t know if can ever trust him again.” The dom’s face crumpled and you rushed to get the words out. “I know that he’s not in his right mind but you have to understand. I went from being killed by his hands to being trapped in some kind of nightmare commune where he was constantly trying to turn me against you to him….” You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence. “Look. I get it. I know that he’s your brother and that you two have been together way longer. I’m not going to ask you to choose me over him because that wouldn’t be fair to any of us. When the time comes, I'll go quietly. Besides, I don’t know if…” You swallowed hard. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle it when you choose him. ” Dean looked sick.

“(Y/N) do you really think I would just toss you aside?” He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. “Sweetheart when are you going to understand that you matter to me just as much as Sam does? What do I need to do to make you believe me?” When you didn’t say anything, he slid off the swing and kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know how we’re going to fix things. But what I do know is that both of you are mine. I love you both and I’m not letting either one of you go. We’ll find a way to make things work.” He sounded so sure of his words that, at least for that moment, you let yourself believe that he was right.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t until the next afternoon that Dean noticed your hands shaking. He reached out through the bond to feel the itchiness in your mind. “Sweetheart, when was the last time you went down?”

“I guess the day before you took me to my mom’s.” Dean’s jaw dropped.

“Baby that was over a year ago. You didn’t even hire a service dom?”

“There wasn’t really a point when I first came back and then after Sam…” You fought the shudder that went through your body every time you thought back to the night Sam hurt you. “I found a way around it.” Double and then triple doses of substop had made it possible for you to maintain a mostly functional headspace. You could tell from Dean’s expression that he was skeptical.

“(Y/N) please tell me you haven’t been medicating this whole time.” You avoided eye contact. “Honey you know that’s not healthy.”

“What about you? I know you’ve been doing the same thing, Lisa told me.” Dean pouted a little at being caught then rolled his shoulders. 

“I'm going to see if Bobby can go out for a few hours. We need to take care of this.” Seeing your apprehension, he squeezed your knee. “I won't make you do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You and I both know that there are ways to do this without having sex.”  You nodded your consent and he pressed a light kiss to your forehead before standing up and going to find Bobby.

 

True to his word, Dean was exceptionally light-handed in his approach. He had always been gentle with you but this time, he was even more cautious, keeping the damaged bond wide open to sense any sign that he was making you uncomfortable. He had hand-fed you again, slippery chunks of mango this time because he knew you liked any excuse to suck on his fingers before giving you a bath, massaging your muscles with the soapy washcloth and scratching gently at your scalp when washing your hair. By the time he was drying you off with a fluffy towel, you were a quivering puddle of goo. It was achingly sweet and soothing and perfect. But it wasn't enough. There was still an edge of restlessness. The dam didn't truly burst until you were back in the bedroom and he was brushing the tangles out of your hair. Sam had insisted on taking over that part of your routine, going as far as hiding your brush away and while Dean did everything right, knowing to start at the bottom to keep knots from forming and never pulling too hard, it just felt wrong. You looked up at your dom with watery eyes and saw the same pain etched into the lines of his face. With a wordless cry, you flung your arms around Dean's neck. The kiss was a sharp contrast to the earlier parts of the evening, a harsh crash of lips and teeth and tongues. Both of you were too starved of contact with the other for any finesse. Once you tasted him, you couldn't hold back. With ragged breaths, you pulled him to the bed, yanking his clothing off. Dean mouthed harshly at your neck and shoulders, moaning your name over and over. There was no time for foreplay as you were both desperate to feel each other again. By the time Dean slid into you, leaning up on one arm so he could see your face clearly, you were more than ready. Your dom was uncharacteristically silent, instead pouring overwhelming amounts of love and awe and adoration through the bond. The assault of affection was so strong that it brought happy tears to your eyes and you sent back all of the love you had. He rocked into you slowly and kissed the palm of your hand when you reached out to cup his cheek. When you came, you couldn't help breaking eye contact, throwing your head back. Dean fucked you through your orgasm, helping to drag it on longer. As the pleasure reached unbearable levels, you started to gasp Dean's name out in time with his thrusts. Hearing your voice high and breathy again after so long was drawing the coil of heat in Dean's belly tighter and tighter. What made the band finally snap though was your barely audible sigh.

“ _ Sam... _ ”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Sam took another bite of the apple in his hand as he walked down the hall of the Campbell base. Since the last encounter with his former soulmates, he had been growing more and more suspicious of his grandfather. Something didn’t quite add up. When he had first met the Campbells after waking up in that field, he didn’t believe what they were saying about Dean. After they took him back to their home for a shower and food, things had started to sound more plausible. If the medicine was supposed to undo things though, why did his body still respond positively to Dean and (Y/N)’s presence? It would make more sense for him to be repulsed by them but he wasn’t. Hearing voices, Sam stopped before he turned the corner, pressing his back to the wall.

“He was asking questions again today. I think he’s onto us.”

“You worry too much. He’s got no idea.”

“Excuse me for being nervous about lying to someone twice my size! I don’t know how much longer we can keep this up. He’s not stupid. I thought you said the serum would fix everything.”

“And it will. We just have to give it time. He’s improving every day.”

“I don’t know… He’s reacting differently than anyone else I’ve seen. Do you think it’s because we’re forcing him to reject his real soulmates?”

“Shut your mouth! I told you that they aren’t his soulmates anymore.” There was a long and exasperated sigh. “I really should have brought Mark with me to pick him up. He knows how to follow orders.” The Campbell men continued down the hall and Samuel stopped when his foot hit something. Looking down on the floor, he saw a half-eaten apple. “Oh crap...” He picked up the pace, rushing to the room Sam had moved into after (Y/N) left. Flinging the door open, he stared in relieved shock at his grandson. Sam paused at his next sit up.

“Something wrong?”

“No, I just have a new case for you. How soon can you be ready to go.” Sam stood back up.

“I’m ready now.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“So much for it not being sexual.” Dean snorted at your quip, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. You were happily cuddled up to his chest, legs tangled together. The two of you had slept in the same bed after more than one round of reunion sex. The bond between the two of you was mostly mended, still missing the threads of Sam’s soul to complete it. “Not that I’m complaining. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.” Dean hummed and trailed his fingers up and down your back. Just as you were leaning in for a kiss, his phone rang. Dean answered the call and you watched as his face went from calm to surprised to distressed to hopeful.

“Of course, Sammy. I’ll meet you halfway.” He ended the call and slid out of bed, starting to dress. You quickly followed suit.

“Where are we going?” His head turned to you quickly but before he could speak, you cut him off. “Dean, we’re doing this together so shut it.” Your dom looked long and hard at the conviction in your eyes before sighing.

“Alright, get dressed. Sam said he’s got something strapped up in his car and he needs help taking care of it.”

  
  


As Dean pulled up to the designated meeting place, you swallowed down the lump of anxiety in your throat. Facing Sam was terrifying but at the same time, you couldn’t help coming to his aid. And after last night you were starting to think that maybe Dean was right and there was a way for the three of you to make things work again. After all, as terrible as Sam’s actions were, it wasn’t really him. And you wanted so badly to have both of your boys back again. The younger Winchester raised an eyebrow in surprise when you got out of the truck but didn’t comment, leading both of you to his backseat. Seeing Dean’s look of shock, Sam smirked. “Welcome to the party.” You leaned over your dom’s shoulder and gasped.

“Is that a baby?”

  
  


As the boys brainstormed about what you could be hunting, you found yourself in the backseat next to a 6 month old.

“So what are we dealing with?”

“I’m not sure. It’s fast and it freaked out when I came at it with silver.”

“So pretty much anything?”

“Exactly” The baby gurgled and Dean looked over his shoulder to where you were staring at the forth passenger.

“Okay… We’re gonna need some supplies.”

  
  


After an eventful trip to the store, you and Sam watched in sick fascination as Dean changed the poopy diaper. He picked the baby up and rocked it to sleep, setting it down in the crib. Seeing your dom take care of a baby was oddly hot and you shoved down the part of your brain that was imagining what he would be like with a child of your own. He looked over at where you and Sam were staring at him with dropped jaws.

“What?”

“You’re good at that.”

“Dude, I’m barely keeping that thing alive.”

“No, man you’re like perfect father material.” Dean shrugged.

“Well I’ve kind of had to be lately you know? Sink or swim.” The atmosphere of the room shifted as all three of you went from the familiar banter you had done before to remembering what exactly had happened over the last year. Sam returned to his newspaper as the three of you fell into an awkward silence.

“Crap!” You and Dean looked up to where Sam was glaring at the paper. “I can’t believe I missed this.”

“What?”

“This house on Elm. Mother was killed, baby was grabbed, but Daddy wasn’t living in the house at the time. So he’s still alive.”

“Should we go check it out?” Sam seemed confused by your eagerness to jump in. “What? I leave Camp Campbell and suddenly can’t come along anymore?” The baby started to fuss and the brothers had another of their silent conversations.

“Someone needs to stay behind with Bobby John.” You nodded.

“Dean’s best with him. He should stay.” When both of them hesitated, you groaned. “Seriously? Is it because I’m a sub or because I have a vagina?” Neither brother would meet your eyes and you threw your hands up in frustration. “Fine. Be assholes. I’ll stay here with the baby while you go have fun.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

Dean watched as his brother questioned the baby’s father.  _ Now is not the time to check out his ass, no matter how good it looks in those pants…. _

“I couldn’t believe it. It’s just so terrible….and the poor baby…” Sam nodded.

“You had filed for divorce?” The man frowned in offense.

“It’s important, I’m sorry.” Dean marveled a bit at how he was now the emotional buffer for these conversations.

“I caught her cheating on me.” 

“Did you know the other man?”  _ Seriously Sam? Would it kill you to throw in an ‘I’m so sorry’? Empathy, man! _

“No I mean I didn’t catch her, catch her. She lied to me.” Sam stared blankly. “We hadn’t… you know… in a while and then she’s pregnant.” Dean gave the man a sympathetic smile.

“What did she say?”

“She tried to tell me it was mine. How is that even possible? I am not that kid's father.”

  
  


 

 

Back at the motel, you were pacing and bouncing the screeching baby. “Come on Bobby John please stop crying.” You couldn’t blame the infant for wailing. After all, having your skin explode off was probably a bit upsetting. You had certainly been caught off guard by the baby’s changed appearance as it had morphed into a perfect copy of the baby on the diaper box. You hadn’t been surprised when Dean texted you saying that the baby’s father was probably a shapeshifter. Bobby John’s cries grew louder as you tried to cajole him. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Management, is everything okay in there?” Cursing, you bounced the baby faster.

“Yeah we’re fine, thanks.”

“Ma’am we’ve received some complaints. Please open the door” You looked at the wall that was still covered in goo.  _ Fuck. _

“Now’s not really a good time, sorry. I’m uh… I just got out of the shower.” The door handle began rattling aggressively and you quickly put the baby back down in his crib, reaching for a weapon. “I said not now!” The rattling only became more forceful and you groaned to yourself. Updating Dean mentally, you crouched protectively in front of the crib, lunging at the intruder when they forced the door open.

  
  


“Drive faster.” Sam frowned but followed the instructions.

“What’s wrong?”

“(Y/N)’s got company.”

“She text you?”

“No.” 

“Oh right, the bond thing.” Dean’s heart clenched at the dismissive tone.

“Yes Sam, the bond thing.” Barely letting Sam park the car, Dean came rushing out as soon as they reached the motel, running into the opened room to find you wrestling with what looked like a state patrol officer. Before he could act, a shot rang out. The officer dropped to the floor as both you and Dean looked over to where Sam was lowering his weapon. Leaning against the wall, you gave Sam a half smile.

“Thanks.” His face remained stoic.

“We should go.”  You and Dean shared a disappointed glance before packing up and leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Insert anecdote: One of my coworkers saw me typing something on my phone and asked what it was. I asked her if she knew what fanfiction was and she looks at me with a completely serious face and goes "Is it a sex thing?"  
> ...Thanks Liz


	22. This is Your Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is forced into a detox. Dean and Reader are excited about getting him clean. Castiel makes an appearance and gets a surprise. Later, Dean has to deal with some disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to note for the record that I love Castiel and I can't wait to write him differently.
> 
> Also for everyone missing sweet Sam, there's some pseudo-fluff?

You felt shock run through Dean at the callous way Sam spoke about the baby being a monster and had to remind yourself that Dean hadn’t been around this new Sam very much. His blase attitude towards innocents wasn’t a surprise to you anymore. What did surprise you-though it really shouldn’t have-was his suggestion to take the baby back to the Campbell base. Dean met your gaze in the rearview mirror and after hesitating a moment, you nodded. While the idea of going back there was nothing short of terrifying, it would give you an opportunity to steal some of that tea and figure out what was happening to Sam.

 

As Sam drove through the gates into the compound, your logic was seeming less and less sound. You felt like a mouse jumping willingly into a trap. Dean held your hand tight, other arm cradling the baby protectively as you walked into the building. He hung behind for a moment, eyes full of apprehension.

“I know you don’t like this Dean. I don’t either. But we can’t pass up this opportunity.” You watched your dom’s mask of confidence slide into place as the two of you stepped further into the room. The hair on the back of your neck stood up and you knew before you even saw her that Gwen was nearby. 

“Well look at the cute little monster.” Dean pulled the baby closer when she reached a hand out to stroke the soft curls. “What? I can’t touch it?”

“Absolutely not.” She glared at you but you no longer felt the need to cower under her gaze. You knew that you could hold your own against her now.

“Awwww does the little kitten have claws now?” You felt Dean’s offence at her using that name for you and sent a pulse of reassurance.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Alright girls, calm down.” nausea gripped you as the patriarch entered, flanked by Sam and you shifted closer to Dean. “Let me see the little tyke.” When Dean made no move to hand the baby over, Samuel raised an eyebrow. “Really Dean? What do you think I’m gonna do to a baby?” 

“I’ve got a few ideas.” From his seat in the corner, you heard Christian scoff.

“Not all of us go straight to torture Dean. We aren’t all like you.” Dean flinched at the mention of his time in hell and you pushed comfort towards him, inwardly seething at the low blow. The fact that Christian had been the one to make the remark stung that bit more since of all the Campbells, he was the one that treated you most like a human being, occasionally going as far as to give you a smile that wasn’t tainted by revulsion. Samuel took advantage of the moment of weakness and scooped the baby out of Dean’s arms.

“I haven’t held one of these in so long” There was something akin to softness in the older Campbell’s face. “Your mom was so tiny but this fella is a big boy.” Dean swallowed, watching Samuel’s hands closely for any sign that the baby was in danger. Sam cleared his throat.

“So what do we do with it?” 

“We raise him.” Dean bristled.

“Raise him?”

“Well what else are we going to do?” Samuel bounced the sleeping babe for a moment before creasing his brow in thought. “Christian, you and Arlene still getting nowhere on the baby front?” When the younger man shook his head, Samuel handed the baby over. “Well congratulations. It’s a boy…sometimes.” Dean’s arms twitched as if to take the baby back and he stammered. 

“W-wait, you ca-can’t!” You felt the panic rising inside him as Christian smiled fondly down at the child. “You’ve got no business raising anything!”

“Why’s that? Because he’s a hunter?” Dean glared at Mark when he spoke. Before your dom could respond, the sound of dogs barking made him release a wave of icy terror. Everyone sprang into action with Christian shoving the baby at Sam to take up a shotgun. Sam wrinkled his nose at the baby and passed it to you before arming up as well.  _ Why do I keep getting this thing? _ With the Campbell clan distracted by the potential of an intruder, you knew this was your chance to do some digging.

“Sam! Help Dean take Bobby John to the panic room downstairs and go hide!” You didn’t give them the opportunity to argue, racing off towards the living quarters.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“Can’t you shut that thing up?” Dean sighed at his switch.

“First of all he’s not a thing, he’s a baby. And he’s scared.” He glanced at his brother sadly. “You used to be good with kids. You used to be a lot of things. What’s happened to you Sammy?”

“I got free from you!”

“If you were so desperate to get away, then why did you call me? Why not just call Samuel immediately?” Sam’s eyes darted back and forth as he tried to come up with an excuse. “Sam, you know that what they’re saying isn’t true, right? You were with me and (Y/N) because you wanted to be. You belong with us.”

“Shut up!”

“Why are you so against it?”

“Because if I’m with you, I’m weak!” Dean felt the beginnings of understanding creep through his mind.

“Weak how?” Sam paced for a moment, struggling to find words.

“You changed me Dean! I’m supposed to be a dom. You fucked with my biology and made me some...some freak!” Dean’s heart broke.

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Sam shrugged noncommittally. A series of thumps above them gave the switch an excuse to get out.

“You stay here with the baby, I’ll go see how they’re doing.” Before he could get to the door though, it came flying through the room and Sam began fighting…Sam?

  
  
  


_ Where is it?!  _ You rifled through the cabinets, searching for the metal canister Samuel kept his tea in.  _ Oh God how old is this corn starch? I don’t think it’s supposed to be a paste…. _ Pushing aside a box of cereal, you smiled in triumph.  _ Gotcha!  _ Canister in hand, you started to get down from the counter you had been standing on. A noise from the hallway made you freeze.

“What are you doing with that?”  _ Fucking Gwen… _

“I’m minding my own business. You should try it.” Her lip curled in disgust.

“I see you’ve gotten mouthier, whore.” A wide grin spread across your face.

“That’s not the only change bitch.”

  
  


 

With bruises and a split lip, you made your way back to the room everyone had gathered in, canister stashed away in your jacket. Gwen was assumed to be showering as she always did after a fight. Dean took in your battered appearance and you shook your head minutely, letting him know you would explain later. Samuel sighed from his place leaning against the wall.

“So I guess it’s not a myth.” The younger Winchester shook his head.

“Doesn’t look that way.” You crossed your arms and stared them down.

“What’s not a myth? What was that thing?” They glanced at each other before Sam nodded. The patriarch turned to you and explained things slowly as if to a toddler.

“It was an alpha.” You felt Dean’s surprise. “All monsters have to come from somewhere. The alpha is the first one.” Sam nodded and chimed in.

“Alphas are the strongest, that’s why nothing we had could stop it.” 

“But what does it want with babies?” Sam shrugged.

“I’ve got no clue.”

“Huh” You all turned to look at Dean. “Didn’t that shapeshifter at the motel say something about the baby’s father?” You nodded.

“He did. You think he meant the alpha?”

“Probably.” Dean looked over at his brother. “Sam did you hear him say that?”

“I don’t remember, why?” You felt the suspicion creeping up inside your dom and groaned inwardly. This was about to get ugly.

“Well if you heard him, that means you knew the alpha was out there right?” Sam nodded slowly. “And if you knew the alpha was out there, you knew it would come looking for the baby. Which would mean you were using the baby as bait.” Dean shot a sick smile at the confused looking switch. “Was that your plan?”

“Of course not! Dean, you act like I’m some kind of heartless monster now. This just seemed like the safest place.”

“Right, of course.” Wanting to deescalate the situation before things got too testosterone-y, you cleared your throat.

“So Sam, can you give Dean and I a lift back to Bobby’s?” The switch nodded. 

As you all piled into the car, you sent a text to your uncle.

**_On our way. Get ready._ **

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Sam’s bellows of fury echoed through the whole house, making you wince.

“How much longer do you think?” Bobby shrugged.

“Hopefully not too much longer. I’m getting really tired of being your detox den. I’m not running some damn clinic you know!” 

Upon arriving at Bobby’s, the three of you had worked together to take Sam down, knocking him unconscious and chaining him up in the panic room. You were hoping that if he went long enough without drinking the tea, it would eventually work its way out of his system. It had been twelve hours so far and there hadn’t been any positive results. You looked up when Dean came back into the room.

“That go okay?”

“Yup. As far as the Campbells know, Sammy’s taking a week off to himself.” Dean tossed Sam’s pilfered cell phone on the table before joining you and your uncle. “How about in here? You taking that tea apart?”

“Trying to.” You frowned at the bowl of loose tea leaves. “It looks like normal tea except there seems to be this weird residue… Almost like some kind of oil. My guess is that this is just regular tea that’s been soaked in something. Only problem is, I have no idea how to figure out what exactly the marinade is.”

“You’ll think of something babygirl.” Dean pressed a kiss to your cheek. “You’re smart.” You smiled at him before your face turned serious.

“There’s something else that I want to talk about.” The hunters at the table raised their eyebrows. “As thrilled as I am to not be dead, it would be stupid to not try and find out how that happened. Something or someone brought me back and I’m guessing it’s probably the same something or someone that brought back Sam and Samuel. It probably wanted to put the three of us together. I don’t know much about coming back from the dead but I do know that it usually comes with a price tag.” Both of their faces turned grim.

“You’re not wrong (Y/N), we should probably find out how this happened.” You uncle sighed. “I just don’t know where to start looking. You’ve told me about every moment before and after dying and none of it gives us any leads.” He turned to Dean with a curious frown. “I’m surprised you haven’t been digging into this more.” The dom arranged his face into a fake smile and put an arm around your shoulder.

“I’ve done a lot of digging over the years and it doesn’t usually turn out well. Figured I would try leaving things alone this time.” You and Bobby gave him identical Singer family bitchfaces. “Yeah I know.” He sighed. “It was nice while it lasted.” You nudged under his jaw with your nose.

“Sorry Dean” Ignoring your uncle’s scowl of disgust, Dean gave you a kiss.

“Nothing to be sorry for sugarplum! No matter what happens, I’m not letting you go again.”

  
  


  
  


It had been three days since you’d shut the door on Sam in the panic room. He had abandoned the enraged roaring and was currently giving anyone who spoke to him the silent treatment. You felt bad for the switch and had taken to reading his favorite books out loud for him. Halfway through a poem, you heard his voice, hoarse from the earlier screaming.

“(Y/N) why are you down here?” You closed the book and leaned back against the door separating you from him. 

“I’m here because I want to be here.”

“But why? You didn’t want to be near me before.” You flinched at the mention of your running away.

“Sam I’m not going to lie, you hurt me. A lot. I’m still not sure how I feel about you but what I do know is that you’re my soulmate and you’re struggling and I have the ability to maybe make things a little easier.” The Winchester went silent and you wished again that you could still feel the bond. “We think Samuel might have done something to you. Something that made you capable of things you never would have done before.” Your voice began to shake, revealing the fact that you were crying. “I miss you. I miss  _ my  _ Sam. Dean misses you too. I know he’s happy to have me back but he needs you with him. Our family isn’t whole without you.” Sam didn’t answer and you didn’t say anything more, just leaning against the door and crying quietly. This was where Dean found you two hours later, drawn by your bittersweet mood. He smiled sadly at you.

“Everything okay babydoll?” You bit your lip and nodded, hearing rustling on the other side of the door at the sound of Dean’s voice. Instead of ushering you upstairs as you had expected, the dom sank down to the floor next to you and picked up the abandoned book, continuing where you had left off. The rustling stopped and even though it would be impossible, you could swear that you felt the heat of Sam’s back against the other side of the door. When Dean finished the poem, he went to put the book down but stopped when he heard Sam speak quietly.

“Read it again?” He smiled.

“Of course sweet boy.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

The next day, Dean and Bobby decided Sam had been detoxing long enough to be trusted with daytime access to the rest of the house. He wasn’t allowed to be anywhere alone and couldn’t use his phone, but he did have some freedoms. One of those freedoms was access to Bobby’s library, something he had eagerly taken advantage of. You were sitting across from him at the table while he shoveled breakfast into his face, book propped up on a carton of orange juice. Dean came in the room and you felt a flutter of satisfaction pass through him at the sight of his soulmates sitting together. Those moments were the only thing that made you capable of being alone with Sam as you were still wary of the switch. The desire to make Dean happy outweighed your nervousness, especially because since he had been locked up, Sam was much less aggressive. He still wasn’t the same person you had known before dying, but he was closer to being himself. 

“Did you sleep okay Sammy?” The switch looked up, hair flopping in front of his face adorably. 

“I didn’t sleep.”

“Again?” The switch hadn’t slept the past four nights and it was starting to make you worry. “Aren’t you tired?” He shrugged.

“Not really, no. In fact,” He tugged a bit of torn newspaper from his pocket. “I think I found a case.” Your eyes snapped over to Dean in alarm. Giving Sam freedom to roam the house was one thing but taking him out was concerning. You knew it was only a matter of time before the Campbells realized that he wasn’t just taking a break. The last thing you or Dean wanted was for Sam to go back to the compound and for you to have to start the whole thing over again. Sam studied your faces.

“You can trust me to go outside you know. I’m not going to ditch you.”

“No offense man, but I find that kind of hard to believe. You weren’t exactly thrilled to be here.” Sam took a long drink of his coffee before responding.

“I didn’t want to be here at first but now… I don’t know. The things that they were saying made sense then but ever since I left, they’ve sounded less and less like the truth. And I think you two are right, we’re supposed to be together. I feel better around you. I was getting these terrible headaches and muscle cramps before but they’re gone now.” He frowned. “I’m starting to think maybe you didn’t do anything to me Dean. Maybe it was all them.” The excitement racing through your dom was overwhelming and his happiness was so strong that it forced you to smile. Feeling Dean’s emotions brought up a sore point though.

“Sam?” The switch turned almost curious (but still somewhat vacant) eyes to you. “Can you feel us again? Like at all?” He closed his eyes and wrinkled his brow, straining with focus before shaking his head.

“No, I can’t. That’s bad right?” Dean took the seat on Sam’s other side. 

“It’s okay Sammy, we’ll find a way to fix this.” He snagged a piece of bacon off his brother’s plate. “Now tell us about this case.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


You could feel Dean’s eyes on your ass and while it was flattering to know that your pencil skirt showed off your bottom nicely, it didn’t seem super appropriate when you were posing as federal agents. You shot him a reproachful glare over your shoulder and he quickly averted his eyes, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. Looking over the file Sam had handed you, you wrinkled your nose.

“Well that’s gross.” Dean sneaked a look and you felt his disgust.

“Yeah I would classify that as level eight nasty.” He looked over at his brother. “Sam, this dude turned to soup, why are we at a morgue? I doubt there’s an actual body for us to look at.” The switch nodded and opened a door to wheel out a non-liquified corpse.

“We’re not here for that one. We’re checking out this guy.” Taking in the boils, Dean let out a low whistle.

“That would be about a six on the nasty scale.” He studied the body. “Is this starting to look a little witchy to you?” You stopped yourself from shaking your head and let Sam explain that he’d already checked for that. The boys didn’t yet know that you’d brushed up on your witchcraft during your time apart and you planned to keep it that way. “Still, there’s got to be a connection. Two cops in the same town with bizarrely gross deaths? Sounds too weird to be a coincidence.” 

“Any witnesses?” Sam nodded.

“Yeah the first guy’s partner apparently watched him melt.”

“Let’s go say hello.”

  
  
  
  


“You good?” You nodded, not looking at the jar of locusts on the table. As soon as the three of you had made it to a hotel, you had run to the bathroom to vomit. You’d seen your fair share of disturbing images by this point but something about bugs crawling out of a hole in someone’s head was just a step too far.

“Yeah, never been better. So we’ve got blood, boils, and locusts… Is this starting to look biblical to you guys?”

“That’s what we were thinking.”

“Should we call Castiel?” Sam snorted at your question.

“Good luck, I’ve been trying to reach him all year to see if he knows why I’m alive. He’s not listening.” Dean shrugged.

“Still worth a shot.” He rattled off a half-assed mockery of a prayer and the three of you looked up at the sound of fluttering.

“Hello.” Sam’s jaw dropped in what would have been a comical look of shock if his eyes hadn’t remained blank.

“Hello? That’s it?” The angel tilted his head.

“Is that no longer the expression?”

“I’ve been calling you all year and getting nothing and now you show up and the best you can do is ‘hello’?!” Castiel nodded. “What, do you like Dean better than me?”

“We do share a more profound bond.” Dean’s face scrunched up in confusion and you snorted. The angel’s eyes landed on you for the first time and he took a step back, surprise coloring his features.

“(Y/N)... You’re alive?” You nodded with a smile. “That cannot mean anything good.” Before you could respond to what felt like a genuine insult, Sam interjected.

“Seriously? I’ve been asking you for help nonstop Cas!” The angel rolled his eyes in exasperation and Dean stood up, raising his hands placatingly.

“Alright everyone calm down. Cas, Sam went to hell for us. I think the least you can do is give him some answers.”

“I may have if I had any answers but I don’t. I don’t know who raised Sam or why.” He eyed you warily. “And I don’t know who raised (Y/N) either.” Before Sam could begin another tirade, Dean interjected.

“Look Cas, if Sam or (Y/N) call you need to answer. Even if it’s just to tell them that you don’t know. I get that we have this special bond thing but they need your help too.” The angel scoffed.

“You think I came because you called? I came because of this.” He walked right past Dean’s hurt face to the jar of locusts. “There have been killings lately that we don’t understand. Acts committed with heavenly weapons. The ones you are investigating appear to be connected to the staff of Moses.”

“Are you sure?” He glared at you as if offended you would question him and you were quick to explain. “What we’re seeing seems kind of small scale for the staff. There aren’t rivers of blood, just a single guy.”

“Obviously the weapon is not being used at full capacity.” You moved a bit more behind Dean at the angel’s growl. While you were less easily intimidated by humans, an angel didn’t seem like someone you wanted to annoy. Dean took your hand in his comfortingly as Castiel explained that several weapons had been stolen. After a minor tantrum by a former ‘multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent’, and a suggested lead by the boys, you found yourself sitting alone in the hotel room.  _ Well this is just peachy… _ Dean’s reassuring presence in your mind helped calm you down slightly and you got back to researching while you waited for your soulmates to return.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean let out a low whistle. “This Balthazar guy’s got some sweet digs.” Castiel shot him an annoyed glance and led the three of you inside. Dean had demanded that the angel take you along this time, which you appreciated as being arrested for kidnapping wasn’t top on your wish list. Though your current task of watching the front door wasn’t high up either. Things became a bit less boring when Castiel came tumbling down the stairs, another angel right behind him. You cringed in sympathy as Cas was kicked the rest of the way down.  _ That doesn’t look fun. _ Castiel struggled to his feet as his opponent pulled out an angel blade.

“Somehow I don’t think God will be bringing you back this time.” Before he could drive the blade into your soulmate’s favorite angel, you jumped at him from behind and yanked the weapon from his hand. Angry eyes turned to you and the archangel raised his hand but looked up when Balthazar shouted.

“Hey! Look at my junk.” Raphael taken care of for the moment, you released the breath you had been holding. Balthazar quirked an eyebrow at you. “You’re a very lucky girl. Were it not for my perfect timing, well, I shudder to think what he would have done to you.” He winked at Castiel. “Until next time!” The dark haired angel smirked.

“Next time?”

Watching your doms successfully intimidate an angel was interesting. Dean grinned when he caught your pulse of arousal at his face in the firelight. Sam noticed the exchange and frowned in confusion. You heart sank again as you remembered that your bond with your soulmates was still damaged and the melancholy mood remained for the trip back.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


You stretched out in the grass, watching the ducks swim through the stream. Sam was sitting a few feet away, looking at you thoughtfully. He was startled out of his musings by Dean flopping down next to him.

“Are you okay man?” Sam tilted his head.

“Yeah I’m great.” Dean stared at his hands.

“I’ve gotta admit, there’s a few times you’ve had me wondering.” When the switch just stared back he sighed. “Where were you when Cas was giving that kid the taser treatment?”

“I was right there!”

“Sure didn’t seem like it.” You turned your head to watch the conversation, letting the brothers hash it out.

“We needed the information Dean. It was an unfortunate situation.”

“It just didn’t seem like you even cared.” Sam looked away.

“Well you’re wrong.” Anger flashed through Dean and you crawled over, hoping to buffer whatever fight your dom was about to start.

“I just don’t understand you Sam. You come back from the dead and you’re some heartless asshole who hurts our girl in ways I never could have imagined you being capable of. If it was anyone else that did that to her, I would have killed them with my bare hands. When we figured out that Samuel’s go-go juice was messing you up, I was so relieved. But you’ve been off that shit for a week now and while you’re definitely less hostile, you’re still not you.” You nuzzled Dean’s cheek, trying to calm his nerves. “Is it something that happened in Hell? I know how much going there can mess a guy up.”

“You know how much it can mess  _ you  _ up Dean, not me. I’m fine.” The older Winchester stared long and hard at his brother.

“Alright Sammy, if you say so, you’re fine.” The smile he gave was hollow and you could feel that he didn’t believe a word of what he just said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly happy with how this one turned out? I low-key hate everything I write though so it's probably not as shitty as I think it is. Next chapter is where a lot of loose ends will be tied up and plot points will probably happen out of order. I'm debating whether or not to stick some smut in there.


	23. I Still See Your Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Reader see promising signs that Sam may be returning to them. Sam struggles to understand what his body is doing. Castiel shines some light on the situation and everyone's favorite king comes bearing even more information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one took longer than previous chapters have and I appreciate everyone's patience. Things got kind of weird for a while and I started to really hate where the story was going. I've reworked my outline and things are headed to a better place very very very soon (like next chapter soon). It was nice to spend more time writing this though and focus on the quality more than the speed.

Sam was changing. While he still wasn’t the man you had fallen in love with, he also wasn’t the man who had trapped you in a nightmare. This new Sam was unsure and curious. After the conversation with Dean, Sam had avoided his older brother. He was hanging around you more often though. A few times you had caught him staring at your face or your collar in deep thought and more than once you could have sworn he was about to reach out and touch you before rethinking it. Each time, you felt a spark of hope. But the threads of his soul were still missing from the bond and those hazel eyes still held no real emotion. Dean hadn’t believed you at first, thinking that you were only seeing what you wanted to see. But then one morning, he opened the door of the panic room to let Sam out for the day and found the switch holding the pillow that had gone missing from his side of the bed. Sam seemed almost embarrassed to be caught, saying that he liked the way the pillow smelled before changing the subject. Since that discovery, Dean had been on board with your theory that Sam was slowly returning, the two of you keeping a log of ‘Sam Sightings’ and searching for a pattern. The next few cases, Sam had been a bit less robotic. He was still painfully blunt when questioning mourners, but he began covering your and Dean’s backs. At one point, he took a lamia claw to the arm in an effort to shield you from an attack. After the monster was dead, Sam had asked to go to bed early, claiming he had a headache.

 

Initially, you and Dean had worried about the switch making a run for it or sending out a distress call. You were both surprised and relieved when Samuel Campbell called him to check in and Sam had kept up the cover you’d set. He explained that he wanted to work some cases on his own and had snatched the tea the last time he was there so he had some for the road. Samuel’s falling for the somewhat clumsy lie was a testament to how full of himself that man was. He’d agreed to give Sam some leads as long as the Winchester agreed to report back every now and then. The three of you were now working on one of those leads which had brought you face to face with something truly vile.

“I’m so glad you’re not into this crap, Princess.” You snorted at Dean.

“I’m offended that you even feel like that needs mentioning.” The wet-dream vampire paraphernalia was making your skin crawl. “Even if I didn’t know about real vampires, I would think this is lame.”

“Got it!” You looked over to where Sam was bent over the teen girl’s laptop. “It looks like Kristen was chatting with some guy who’s claiming to be a vampire. They had plans to meet last night at a place called ‘The Black Rose’.” Dean gagged.

“Fucking virgins…” At your and Sam’s questioning glances he gestured around the room. “I’m sorry but this is not the bedroom of someone who gets laid.” You smacked your dom’s arm before leaving the house. You needed to goth up for the night.

  
  
  


“No way are you wearing that. You look like the star of some kind of torture porn!” 

“I’m just dressing the part Dean. If I want one of those scumbags to talk to me, I need to look like their flavor of snack.”

“Who said anything about you being bait?!” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not bait, I’m a Trojan horse. I can hold my own against some fake-ass vampire.”

“She’s got a point, Dean.” The dom whirled around to glare at his younger brother.

“You don’t get to have an opinion about this!” Taking advantage of Dean being distracted, you started heading for the door.

“I’m leaving now so if either of you want to come with me, you’d better get your asses in gear.” You could hear Dean grumbling as he slammed the door behind him.

  
  


You insisted on splitting up once you reached the club, pointing out that not even one of the stupid fake vamps would attempt to seduce a you when you were flanked by imposing looking men. Especially when Dean was glaring daggers at anyone who looked at your exposed cleavage or legs. Sitting at the bar, you could feel your dom’s eyes on you. You sipped your drink and tried to ignore the possessive rumble in your brain when a gangly man dressed all in black approached you.

“Hello beautiful.” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and leaned forward, subtly pressing your breasts together and fighting back a smirk when his eyes flickered down and he gulped.

“Hello.” You purred. His kohl-rimmed eyes widened and you felt a rush of victory.  _ Sucker. _

 

Dean bounced his leg faster, suppressing the urge to go rip that kid’s face off. When the dickhead had the audacity to put a hand on your bare thigh, Sam had to hold his brother back.

“Dean, chill. She’s got things handled.” The dom glared at his younger brother.

“Did you use her as bait often when you went on missions with grandpa and the gang?” Sam shrugged.

“Once or twice if it was necessary. It’s not wrong to play the game with a strategy.” Dean scoffed.

“A strategy? Using your sub as a worm on your hook is strategy?” He shook his head and took another sip of his beer. It was strange to see how tables had turned. Before dying, Sam had been the one who was possessive over you.  _ Three steps forward, two steps back…  _ Almost at once, you and the other couple the boys had been watching got up. Dean tapped Sam’s shoulder. “Alright, showtime. I’ll go with (Y/N), you get the others.” 

  
  
  
  


You held back the gag of revulsion as the dickhead ran his hands up your sides.

“Are you ready to join me in eternity baby?” You waited until his hands were right where you wanted them before moving, forcing him facefirst against the door, arms twisted behind him and held tight in your hands.

“I think I’ll pass.”

  
  


Dean cursed when he realized that he’d been following the wrong douchebag.  _ Why do they all have to look the same?  _ Checking mentally that you were safe, he forced the teens apart. After sending the kids off their separate ways, he felt a pulse of panic from your mind and took off running to the other side of the building.

  
  


Once you had determined that your companion was no real vamp, you set off to find Dean and Sam. You’d barely made it halfway down the side of the building before you heard a raspy voice behind you.

“You’re pretty” You turned slowly to see a large man with a cloud of grey hair smiling creepily.

“Excuse me?”

“I said you’re pretty” He came closer and you backed up, hand reaching for the switchblade you had shoved under the strap of your dress.

“Well as kind as that is, I’m taken so I think I’ll be going.” The man smirked before grabbing you and throwing you forcefully against a dumpster. Your knife fell from your hand when you bounced off the lid of the dumpster and into a pile of trash bags. Groaning, you stood and braced yourself. This guy was strong.  _ Dean help!  _

 

Sam had lost track of the couple he was supposed to be following and was instead following a man who fit the demographics of what you were all looking for. After confirming that he was following a vampire and slicing its head off, Sam exited the club and rushed towards the sound of commotion. He froze in the alleyway and watched calculatingly as a vampire bit its arm and smeared the blood on your lips. When the attacker made to leave, Sam ran after it. The vampire jumped up onto a fire escape and scurried away just as Dean came rushing up behind him. “Sam! Where’s (Y/N)?”

“I’m over here” You coughed weakly and the brothers crouched down to help you up. Dean felt his heart drop into his stomach at the blood covering your mouth. You looked at him with bleary eyes. “I don’t feel so good.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

“What the hell Sam?!” Dean had resorted to angry hissing and whisper shouting when his initial yelling had caused you to grab your head and whine. “How did this happen?”

“I don’t know Dean, I showed up right when you did. You’re the one with a bond, didn’t you know she was in trouble?” Before Dean could launch an angry retort, you moaned in agony.

“Guys please be quiet. It’s so loud.” Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked your hair from your face, crooning gently.

“Sorry babygirl, we’ll be quiet.” You gave him an unfocused smile before squinting.

“Can you turn off the lights? They hurt.”

“Of course. Sammy’s right by the lightswitch, he’ll turn it off for you.” The younger brother swallowed hard at Dean’s glare and flipped the light off. There was still traces of light coming in through the window though and that combined with the sounds of traffic outside and the rushing thumps you could hear from each of your boys was agonizing. Tears gathered in your eyes and you swore that even that was horrendously loud. Realizing you were hearing their heartbeats, you frowned. Dean’s was erratic and fast while Sam’s was rhythmic and sedate, almost as if he was completely relaxed. Filing that information away for later, you sat up.

“Shit…” You laughed bitterly. “I probably won’t be coming back this time.” Dean blinked in confusion.

“What do you mean sweetheart?”

“When I die. I doubt that I’ll get a third go-around.” His face fell and you heard the hard swallow echo through his neck.

“Who said anything about dying? We’ll figure something out.” There was a slight uptick in Sam’s heartbeat and you winced as you turned your head to look at him, the sound of your tendons flexing grating on your nerves.

“I know how we can fix this!” Dean whipped around to face his brother with hopeful eyes.

“How?” Sam grimaced.

“You’re not going to like this.”

  
  


The boys had moved to the bathroom as if the noise of their arguing would be any less offensive behind paper-thin walls. Despite Dean’s rather violent protests, Sam’s suggestion wasn’t that bad of an idea. You knew that Samuel had an old journal of cures and kills for all sorts of things and you were pretty sure he had mentioned something to cure vampirism. But you didn’t want Sam going anywhere near the Campbell patriarch ever again. You had just barely gotten him to the point where there was a shred of the switch you knew and you refused to be the reason Dean lost that. As the brothers snarled back and forth, you got up and carefully made your way out of the room, snatching up your jacket and a couple of weapons to protect yourself, each movement like a clap of thunder in your mind. Sam wasn’t going anywhere near Camp Campbell, but you could.

  
  
  


“Sorry Dean, it’s too late. I already texted him as soon as she got turned. He’s on his way.” The dom groaned. “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him that you and (Y/N) are here. I just said that I needed the cure.” He scuffed his shoe against the tile floor. “I know you don’t trust me Dean. And I know why. Just let me try this please? I might not have a soulbond with her but I don’t want (Y/N) to die.” Dean’s eyebrows raised at the confession.

“You don’t?”

“No. Being around her feels...good? I like it. And being around you feels good too.” The switch squirmed. “And I figured...If I can help with this, maybe you’ll let me be around the two of you more.” Dean’s heart broke for his brother. It was clear that Sam still felt a connection but didn’t understand it. He sighed and squeezed Sam’s shoulder, secretly thrilled that he was able to touch his boy again, at least casually.

“Thank you Sam. I’m going to get (Y/N) to a different room though. I don’t want Samuel around her when she’s this vulnerable.” The brothers exited the bathroom to find your bed empty. If you had still been there, you would have heard two heartbeats thumping faster. The dom immediately reached out to you in his mind only to find that you had closed the connection. At that same moment, there was a knock on the door. Dean was quick to hide in the bathroom again while Sam let his grandfather in. He stayed just long enough to hear that Samuel would need the blood of the vampire who turned you in order to make the cure, then slipped out the window.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


You had made it maybe two miles before a vampire found you.

“Hey, we’ve been looking for you! Boris was worried. Come with me.” Knowing you were in no condition to outrun him, you begrudgingly followed. He led you into an abandoned warehouse - _ The fuck is it with monsters and abandoned warehouses? _ -full of cages containing girls your age and younger. In the middle of the room was the giant man who had turned you.

“Ah there she is! Thank you for returning her to me.” You contained your flinch as he slung a heavy arm around your shoulders. “And here I was worried those mean hunters would chop your head off.”

“What’s a hunter?” You forced out a fake laugh. “Those guys in the alley weren’t fast enough to catch me.”

“Oh you’ll know a hunter when you see one. They’ll be the body I turn inside out.” You tamped down your rage at the idea of this monster hurting Dean or Sam. “Have you eaten sweetcheeks?” You nodded quickly. “Good. You’re going to need your strength.”

“What for?” The large vampire chuckled.

“For playing with me all night long. All the new girls spend the night with Borris.” Fear raced through you as the large man leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. His kiss was hard and demanding, nothing like what your boys would share with you. Just as his hand was trailing down to thumb your nipple through your tight dress, he froze. You heard a distant whispering as he fell to his knees. All around you, the other vampires collapsed, each of them mumbling a call to their father. Realizing this was your chance to escape, you made to run. Unfortunately, your eyes rolled back into your head and you collapsed as well, images of an imposing figure racing through your mind.

 

Blinking, you came to and saw the cages opening. Before you knew what was happening, you were running, the other vamps chasing after you. Realizing that you only had one way out, you pulled the concealed blade from your jacket and stopped thinking of anything beyond fight, kill, survive.

  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean hacked his way through the barrage of vampires, searching for the giant that had poisoned his girl. Slicing through another vamp, his blade collided with another and he looked over the collapsing corpse to see your eyes wild with adrenaline.

“(Y/N)?” You blinked a few times before realizing what was going on. “Babygirl we really need to stop meeting like this.” Another vampire came at Dean and you slashed into it before looking over your shoulder at your dom.

“Can we have this conversation later?” He nodded and the two of you resumed your fight for survival. Soon, only the large vampire who had turned you was left. Dean attacked him angrily and you watched with morbid fascination. When he knelt to draw blood from the corpse, you sent a pulse of questioning through the reopened bond.

“The cure recipe calls for the blood of the sicko who turned you.” You nodded to yourself.

“So that’s why you’re here.” He raised an eyebrow at you and you looked down guiltily, knowing you were in trouble for leaving. “I was trying to get Samuel’s journal but the vamps found me.” He sighed and stood up slowly.

“We’ll talk about this more after you’re fixed up. Sammy said he’d text me once the coast is clear.”

  
  
  
  
  


“So this will fix me?” Sam nodded.

“But it won’t be fun. The journal said that this will hurt a lot.” 

“Sounds like fun. Let’s do this.” Before you could think yourself out of it, you gulped down the foul viscous fluid. Once you had drained the cup, you met Dean’s desperate eyes. There was a pregnant pause as the hope faded from his expression.

“Sam are you su-whoa!” Dean stopped mid-sentence to hold your hair back as you hurled into a nearby trash can. “It’s okay sweetheart. That’s right, get it all out.” Once you had nothing left to vomit, you curled up on yourself. Dean held you close as the evening played back in your mind in reverse up until you were turned. With horror, you saw the moment the large vamp had forced his blood into your mouth. At the end of the alley, Sam stood motionless, a strange look on his face as he watched the proceedings. Eventually, the images stopped and you blinked. The world was suddenly less blindingly bright, sounds no longer deafening. You smiled weakly up at Dean and he kissed your forehead.

“You’re okay. Thank God you’re okay…” He looked with a huge grin up to where Sam was observing the two of you. “You saved her Sam. Thank you. He saved you (Y/N)! Our Sammy saved you!” You nodded slowly, wondering what the hell you had seen.

  
  
  
  


After a much-needed shower, you sat on the bed in your pajamas. Dean was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and Sam was toying with some folded paper. When he noticed you looking, he smiled.

“So what did you see?” You frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“In the vamp nest. What did you see?” 

“I’m not really sure, things are still kind of messy in my brain.” You tilted your head. “But they seemed to be getting orders from someone higher up.”

“Wha’ hind ‘v orders?” You laughed at Dean’s head poking around the bathroom door with his toothbrush hanging from his mouth.

“Orders to recruit more vamps. It seems like their alpha is building an army.” Dean spat the toothpaste into the sink and you heard the faucet running.

“That doesn’t sound good.” You nodded, glancing at Sam out of the corner of your eye. “No, things don’t seem that good at all.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

Dean frowned when you sent the fourth pulse of urgency through the bond. The three of you had been driving for hours to reach a city with a string of suspicious suicides. Meeting your eyes in the rearview mirror, he raised his eyebrows in question. You glanced pointedly at Sam and shook your head, hoping to convey that you wanted to talk to him alone. Dean nodded to himself before turning down the music. “How do you two feel about taking a break for a bit? We’ve got some extra time and I could use a sandwich and some fresh air.” You and Sam agreed and with the switch assigned to sandwich wrangling, you led Dean to a park bench, snuggling into his side. “So what’s this all about babygirl?” You bit your lip, knowing that this conversation wouldn’t be fun.

“It’s about Sam. Something happened when that vamp turned me.” You felt apprehension run through his veins as he pulled you closer.

“What happened?”

“Sam saw the whole thing, Dean. He was there when the vampire jumped me and could have stopped it but he didn’t. He just let it happen.”

“He did what?” Fury rocketed through the bond. “Why are you just telling me this now?” 

“I wanted to tell you before but there wasn’t a good time. He was always around.”

“That son of a bitch!”

“Dean-”

“Don’t ‘Dean’ me (Y/N)! You’re telling me that he fucking handed you over to the vampires!” The dom shot up and began pacing, muttering angrily to himself.

“Dean! I’m just saying… Be careful around him, okay? I don’t know what’s happening in his head.” The older Winchester slumped back down next to you with his head in his hands..

“I don’t get it. He’s been so much better lately and when he told me about the cure… It sounded like he was genuinely worried about you (Y/N). He told me that he wanted to keep you from getting hurt. Why would he have let you get turned?” You hummed in thought.

“Well if he knew there was a cure then I guess he could have thought it was beneficial to have a person on the inside. We know that he and Samuel are looking for alphas. Maybe he thought I could get him to the alpha vampire.”

“That’s some bullshit!”

“I don’t know… It makes sense from a tactical standpoint.” You shrugged. “If you remove emotions from the situation, it’s a solid plan.” 

“I don’t care how great a strategy is, you aren’t a game piece (Y/N).” You bumped your nose against the underside of his chin and pushed comfort through the bond. Dean’s fingers combed through your hair. “What if…” He swallowed hard. “What if that’s not really Sam?” You could feel the illness that thought brought him and nuzzled his neck.

“I don’t know, Dean. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.” The two of you sat in unhappy silence until Sam arrived with the requested sandwiches.

  
  


Sam’s explanation of what happened didn’t alleviate your worries. You and he had just found some promising evidence in the room of a suspicious suicide victim when Dean called you downstairs.

Sam held up the box. “Where have you been? We found something!” The dom nodded disinterestedly. 

“It can wait. We’ve got to talk.” You swallowed nervously and followed behind Sam. When Dean spoke in that tone, it rarely meant anything good. “I’m going to ask you some questions and you’re gonna tell me the truth.” Sam chuckled.

“Of course I will.” Realization crossed his face when he took in Dean’s hard stare. “Oh are you saying that you-”

“I asked for the truth.” Dean’s smiled in grim satisfaction. “And I’m going to get it.” Sam swallowed nervously.

“Sure, fire away.” Dean gathered himself before asking flatly.

“When that vampire attacked (Y/N), you just stood there. Why?” Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at being caught. After thinking for a moment, he fixed Dean with a close approximation of his former self’s puppy dog eyes.

“I didn’t. When I saw it happening I just… I froze.”

“You froze?” Dean’s skepticism was sharp. “Sam you’ve been Terminator since you got back. That doesn’t add up to freezing.”

“I don’t know Dean. I guess it was shock. I remember being so afraid of her getting hurt but by the time I acted, it was too late.” Dean stared long and hard at his brother. “Dean I feel terrible about it. I can’t lie right now and you know it. Please believe me.” You felt the stirrings of hope bubble through Dean’s end of the bond. “Do you really think I would let something like that happen on purpose? Dean, I might not have a soulbond with either of you anymore but I told you that I don’t want her getting hurt.” Hazel eyes turned to you. “(Y/N), I am so sorry that happened and I promise that if I could have prevented it, I would have.” He was cut off by Dean pulling him into a hug. You watched Sam awkwardly pat his brother on the back as he tried to curl into the hug, seemingly not knowing how. Dean’s soul was singing with relief but you weren’t yet convinced.  _ If he really hadn’t wanted it to happen, why was his heart so calm? _

  
  
  
  


 

 

“You’re saying that he isn’t human?” Castiel scrutinized the tied switch. “He appears human.” After the incident with the truth goddess- _ and boy did that bitch love the sound of her own voice _ -Dean had demanded that Cas come check Sam out. Now the angel was circling the chair Sam was restrained in.

“Tell him what you told me.” Sam looked down at the floor and followed Dean’s angry command.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me Cas. Ever since I got back… I’ve been a better hunter than I ever was before. Nothing scares me because I can’t feel scared. I can’t  **_feel_ ** anything really.” Sam looked up and glanced from you to Dean. “But lately… I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. I think I want to feel things.”  Cas set his jaw and began removing his belt. You shot to your feet.

“What is he about to do?” Dean put an arm out to hold you back as Cas put the belt in Sam’s mouth.

“This will be unpleasant. Bite down and imagine yourself in a place you find soothing.” When he reached his arm inside your soulmate’s body and Sam began screaming in agony, you couldn’t help yourself. You broke free from Dean’s grasp and rushed to where Sam was tied up, crouching behind him and squeezing one of his hands, wishing that you could send him some form of comfort. After Castiel stepped away, you circled back to face Sam. He was twitching and groaning with residual pain and you allowed yourself to indulge your instincts, smoothing the sweaty strands of hair from his forehead and stroking down his cheeks. When the hazel eyes opened and gazed up at you blankly, your heart clenched and you backed up, finding your way over to Dean.

“So what’s wrong with him?”

“Physically everything is fine.” Castiel finished unrolling his sleeve and met Dean’s anxious stare. “But his soul… It’s gone.” Dean’s knees buckled and you let him lean on you as agony ripped through the both of you.

“But without his soul.... Is that even Sam?” Cas tilted his head at your question.

“You pose an interesting philosophical query.” Dean began pacing.

“How does this even happen? And where is his soul?”

“Somehow when Sam was resurrected, his soul was left behind. My guess is that it’s still in the cage with Michael and Lucifer.” You couldn’t contain the whine of distress at the idea of Sam’s soul still being trapped.

“Well how do we get it back?” Castiel’s expression turned somber.

“I don’t know if we can.” A horrible realization blazed through you.

“Castiel… If Sam is missing his soul, is that why we can’t feel him and he can’t feel us?” The angel considered your question for a moment before nodding.

“That would make sense. The part of Sam that is connected to you is locked away in the depths of Hell.” Both you and Dean cringed, hearts aching for your soulmate. Castiel looked you up and down for a moment. “I don't think I need to check for your soul. If Dean feels the full connection then you're likely fine.” Missing out on what looked like excruciating pain was not as much of a comfort as it should have been.

“Could you please untie me now?” The three of you looked over to the switch.

“No!” Dean advanced on his brother. “I don’t even know if I want to let you out of this room, Sam.”

“So what Dean you’re just going to keep me locked up forever?”

“That’s not such a bad idea.” Sam gave his brother a fairly impressive bitchface for a soulless person. 

“I’m not some kind of monster.”

“You’ve sure acted like one!”

“Is this about the vamps? I never wanted (Y/N) to get hurt, I just knew that it was the best way to get in that nest. I regretted it as soon as it happened though. I was wrong and I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.” He turned to you. “(Y/N) I’m sorry.” Dean snarled and loomed over his tied brother.

“You don’t get to speak to her anymore!” You scoffed.

“Dean-” You came closer but he whipped around and pointed a finger at you.

“Stay out of this!” Sam tried to reason again.

“Dean it’s still me! I messed up but I’m trying to figure things out.” The dom shook his head.

“Still you, huh? Really? Because the Sam I know would never do the things you’ve done. So no, I’m not letting you go.” The switch rolled his eyes before shifting his shoulders and standing, throwing off the ropes that had been holding him.

“I didn’t want it to come to this. You can’t hold me captive. Not here, not in a panic room. Not anywhere.” Dean stepped in front of you defensively. “Sorry, but you’re stuck with the soulless guy. Might as well work with me.” You put a hand on your dom’s shoulder and pushed through a feeling of resignment. Dean slumped in defeat.

“Fine. But I’ll be watching every move you make.” 

 

After Castiel had healed Sam and the switch had changed into a less bloody shirt, the four of you sat brainstorming.

“So if we want to get Sam’s soul back, we need to figure out who brought him back.” You spoke slowly. “And the only real clues we have on that front is that Sam, Samuel, and I all came back around the same time. Maybe we were brought back by the same person.”

“Who has that kind of power?” Dean turned to Castiel and the angel hummed in thought.

“I don’t know… Neither of you have any memories of your resurrections?” You and Sam shook your heads. “Perhaps we should visit the third person then.” You groaned inwardly. Would you ever be free of the fucking Campbells?

  
  
  


* * *

 

Entering the compound was no less terrifying this time around and your fear only increased when you saw how many more people were present than before. You and your doms bypassed the others, heading straight for Samuel’s office. The patriarch raised his eyebrows when he saw Sam’s companions. “Back with them, huh? Gotta say, I’m disappointed Sam. You were showing such potential.”

“Cut the crap.” Dean growled as he approached the man’s desk. “The only thing you’re going to talk about is the day you came back.”

“I’ve already told Sam everything I know.”

“And now you will tell me.” Samuel started at the gravelly voice of the angel who had appeared behind him.

“This is Castiel?” He looked the angel up and down. “You’re a lot scrawnier than I had pictured.”

“This is a vessel. My true form is the size of your Chrysler Building.”

“Okay we don’t have all day for this.” All eyes snapped to where you leaned against the door, arms crossed. “Just give us the run down.” The eldest Campbell glared at being ordered by a sub but spoke nonetheless when he felt Cas’ eyes on the back of his head.

“I was dead. I was in heaven. Then suddenly I was alive. Don’t know how it happened.” He shot Dean a mocking smile. “That good enough for you?” Your dom smirked.

“Almost. Cas here is just gonna double check something.”

  
  


Watching the Campbell patriarch writhe in pain shouldn’t have felt as good as it did. Through the bond, you could tell that Dean was also feeling a sick satisfaction at his grandfather’s suffering. It didn’t last nearly as long as you would have liked. As Castiel was fixing his sleeve, the door swung open, throwing you forward into Dean’s arms.

“The hell is going on in here?” Christian was panting in the doorway, pointing a rifle threateningly between each of the room’s occupants. Dean was quick to shove you behind him as he held his hands up in the air.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Samuel looked up from where he had slumped over his desk.

“His soul is still intact.” Castiel’s rumble caused Christian to notice the angel for the first time.

“Of course his soul is intact, why wouldn’t it be?” When you, Cas, and Dean glanced at Sam, Christian gaped. “Is he… Does he not have a soul?” He glared at Samuel. “I told you that something was different about him! The serum couldn’t have been responsible for everything wrong with that kid!” Samuel held a hand up to silence Christian before turning to his grandson.

“What’s going on Sam?” The switch kept his gaze on the floor, voice flat.

“Whatever dragged me out left a piece behind.” When the older man didn’t react, Dean growled.

“Did you know?”

“Of course not! But… I knew something was happening. Christian’s right, Sam’s behavior was strange. I wanted to believe that he was just taking well to the serum.”

“Serum?”

You answered Castiel’s question without looking away from Samuel. “They were making Sam drink some kind of poison that made him act like a monster.” The Campbell scoffed.

“The serum is to cure him, make him less of a monster.” He looked at Sam in disgust. “I tried so hard to keep you from falling the same way your mother did but you were just too stubborn. Look at you Sam! You’re weak.” The tall switch cringed and Dean’s hand twitched as if he wanted to give his brother a reassuring touch. “You really had a chance to be better Sam. We could have killed the disease inside you.”

“What disease?” Castiel looked genuinely confused.

“Submissiveness.” You deadpanned. “That’s what your whole thing is right? You hate subs?” When the patriarch didn’t answer, you walked over to Sam, ignoring Dean’s protests and taking one of his hands. “Sam they were lying to you. Dean didn’t do anything to change who you are. These scumbags just couldn’t handle the idea of being related to someone who isn’t completely dominant.” Castiel tilted his head.

“And you’re sure this...serum is completely gone from his system?” You shrugged.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know what’s in it.” Samuel made a noise of surprise.

“You don’t? I figured Sam would have shown you the recipe by now. He stole it from my journal when I came by with the vamp cure.” Shock pulsed through the bond from Dean while you thought back to the papers Sam had been playing with after you were cured.

“Were you planning on telling us this?”

“Yes! There just wasn’t a good time. Dean, I told you that I want help. I thought maybe if we could figure out what they were drugging me with, we could find a way to fix me.” The switch curled in on himself. “Maybe we could see how they killed our bond.” Castiel interrupted the back and forth.

“I have to return to heaven now. I’ll report back when I can.” After he vanished, Sam turned to his grandfather.

“Why are all of these people here? Are you gearing up for a mission?” 

“More like recovering from one…” The boys looked at you in surprise. “The trucks outside are caked in mud and everyone’s either bloody, exhausted, or both.”

“So the whore isn’t a complete idiot.” You smiled sweetly. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sam start inching closer to his grandfather.

“No she’s not. And she’s going to kick your weakened ass if you don’t start talking soon. What kind of game is big enough that you had to call in a family reunion?” Samuel scoffed at you but went silent when Sam pressed a gun to the back of his head.

“Answer her question.”

  
  
  
  


You stared in horrified amazement at the caged creature who looked exactly like your vision from back when you were a vampire. He smiled knowingly. “Hello (Y/N).” Dean bristled.

“How does he know your name?” The vampire chuckled darkly.

“A father knows his children. Even after they leave the nest. Tell me (Y/N), did you enjoy your time as one of my own?” Sparks flew as Sam pulled the lever, shocking the chained prisoner.

“Don’t talk to her.” Sam’s voice was low and Dean echoed your shock at the switch’s behavior.

“You cannot hurt me, boy. I am much older and far more powerful than your primitive little mind can comprehend.” Sam sneered and pulled the lever again. “You smell cold… Are you missing something?” The switch didn’t answer. “I don’t understand why you are attempting to torture me when I will tell you whatever you want to know.”

“Why?” The vampire smiled smugly at Dean.

“Because soon I will be ankle deep in your blood.” Ignoring the bravado, you stepped closer to the cage.

“Why the sudden increase in vampires?”

“We’re going to war little one.”

“War? Is that why Samuel has you all trussed up here?” The vampire ignored your question and turned his attention back to Sam.

“It’s your soul. You don’t have one. How fascinating.” Dean growled.

“You’re the zoo exhibit here, not us. Answer the question.”

“I was simply providing you with an example. You see, souls are predictable. When you die your soul goes up or it goes down. But what if you have no soul? Where do my kind go? Where will he go?” When the brothers offered no response, you hesitated a guess.

“Purgatory?” Dean raised his eyebrow at your whispered answer.

“What? Purgatory is real?” The vampire chuckled.

“Of course it is real. And it is filled with the souls of all the freaks like your friend and I. The location is a mystery. One which our lovely host thinks he can solve by zapping me.” You frowned in confusion.

“Why does Samuel care where Purgatory is?”

“He doesn’t care little one. He is merely following orders.” You, Sam, and Dean all glanced at one another. Who was powerful enough to order Samuel around?

“I think you’ve heard more than enough.” The three of you whipped around to see Samuel, Gwen, and Christian. “Say goodbye to your new friend and come with us.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Dean tugged harder at the ropes around his wrists. “That son of a bitch!” You would have sent him a wave of calm if you weren’t also extremely pissed.

“I don’t understand. Why let us see what he’s keeping if he’s just going to tie us up when we learn what’s happening?”

“Who knows, maybe the guy’s gone senile.” Dean grunted and continued to struggle in his binds. “What I do know is that we need to get out of here.” Biting your lip in concentration, you unfastened your bracelet, pulling the razor floss core from the center and began using it to saw through your ropes.

“I wonder where he took Sam.” Dean made a wounded noise before setting his jaw.

“I don’t know if I care. (Y/N), that’s not Sam. It’s just his body. You heard Cas, there’s no way to get his soul back in there.” You felt the ropes begin to weaken and worked harder.

“I heard Castiel saying that Sam’s soul is still being tortured by Michael and Lucifer. We have to get his soul free Dean and when we do that, we’ll need a body to stick it in. Besides, he seems to genuinely want to be our Sam again. I’m not sure I trust him completely but it doesn’t seem like he actively wants to kill us.”

“(Y/N) he sold you to vamps. He fucking raped you! How the hell are you still able to trust this guy?” You grinned in satisfaction as the ties around your wrists broke and crouched down to help your stunned dom with his.

“I agree that he’s fucked up. A lot. But he’s also been getting better. The whole vampire thing was unfortunate but I understand his perspective.” You threw the ropes into the corner and helped Dean rub his chafed wrists to start the blood circulation up properly again. “I’m never going to stop fighting for Sam, Dean. Just like I would never stop fighting for you. I will always love Sam and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring him back to us” The dom went silent and stoic for a moment before pulling you in for a hard kiss. You moaned and opened your mouth, meeting the tip of his tongue with your own. Just as things were getting interesting, you heard a commotion outside. You smirked at Dean. “Is this your first time being cockblocked by a vampire?” He laughed and rested his forehead against yours.

“Unfortunately, far from it.”

 

 

 

 

 

The commotion brought on by the alpha vampires escape had given you and Dean the opportunity to find your way back to Sam. He was with the Campbell patriarch for a very strange staff meeting. The identity of Samuel’s boss was a surprise to all three of you. “Crowley?”

“Hello boys” The demon king’s smug smile faded when he saw you. “Cupcake? That’s interesting… When did you get here?”

“Is that really important right now?” Crowley fixed Samuel with a look of derision. 

“I believe that I get to decide what is important. Besides, if I’m focusing on Cupcake here, I won’t have time to punish you for your failure.”

“My failure? You got the alpha, didn’t you?”

“I did, no thanks to you.” The monarch strutted forward until he was toe to toe with Samuel. “Were it not for me sending in my men, we would have lost that alpha and you would be a very sorry puddle of mess on the floor.” Sam laughed, the sound clashing with the otherwise tense atmosphere and drawing everyone’s attention to the switch.

“I get it now. You’re Crowley’s bitch!” Samuel shook his head, cheeks coloring.

“It’s not what you think.”

“On the contrary, it’s precisely what you think.” Crowley winked at Samuel.

“Since when do you care about alphas?” Dean’s voice was aggressive, anger and confusion clamoring within him and shaking at the bond.

“I hardly see how that’s any of your business.”

“Why are you looking for Purgatory?” Your question earned you a crooked smile from the demon.

“At least someone here knows which questions are important.” He shrugged. “Purgatory is vast, underutilized, and hell-adjacent. I want it.”

“Why?”

“Now now Cupcake, employees don’t get to question management.” Sam snorted.

“Who says we’re your employees?”

“You do. Or you did. The three of you have been working for me for quite some time now, helping Gramps get me alphas.” Dean grabbed your and Sam’s hands, starting to walk out.

“Well consider this our notice. We’re out.”

“Don’t you want to get Sam’s soul back?” Dean froze at the question. “Ah, there’s a lad. Come on now, keep up the good work and you’ll earn your little bonus.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“Do you really want to test that Cupcake?” Crowley gestured to Samuel. “Tell them.” The Campbell monarch swallowed and spoke slowly, to the floor.

“He pulled us both back, me and Sam.” Samuel brought his eyes up and narrowed them at you. “I don’t think he had anything to do with the whore though.”

“Much as I’d like to claim responsibility for resurrecting such a lovely young lady, I can’t. What I can do is restore Sam’s soul. All you have to do is keep being good little boys and girls and bring me my alphas. If that’s a problem, I could always shove Sam right back in that hole. And I’m sure I could find a place for my little Cupcake somewhere in Hell.” It was a low blow and you felt Dean’s blood boil at the threat. “So do we have a problem Squirrel?” Dean shook his head, jaw clenched and eyes full of fire. “Good. Until next time.” The demon vanished.

“So can we kill him now?” All eyes shot to where you were sizing up Samuel. “We got all of the info we need and I personally would love to wipe this scum from the Earth.”

“You little bitch…”

“Your words can’t hurt me anymore Samuel. I’m not scared of you. You’re just Crowley’s puppet.”

“You should be scared.”

“ENOUGH!” Dean held his hands up between you and the Campbell patriarch. “Babygirl I promise that I want him gone as much as you do, maybe more. But right now, we need to play Crowley’s game. At least for a little while.” He turned a twisted grin to his grandfather. “But don’t worry Old Man, you’ll see us again soon. And it’ll be the last thing you ever see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut did not happen here. It will happen next chapter. We might even have double smut. Smoot? I'm gonna call that smoot.  
> Starting next chapter, things are going to go way off cannon and I'm very excited.


	24. We're Not Broken, Just Bent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's body continues to confuse him, Dean is a hero, Castiel is grateful but irritated, and Reader discovers a way to maybe bring her Sam back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smoot!!!  
> Also, I used google translate so I know the words are probably all kinds of messed up and I could have just written nonsense but let me have fun dammit!

_Patient Name: Sam Winchester_

_Orientation: Switch_

_Service Requested: Drop Intervention_

_Safeword: Poughkeepsie_

_Hard Limits: Bodily fluids (saliva and semen allowed), degradation/humiliation, predicament bondage, severe pain (mild to moderate more than welcome)_

_Preferred Aftercare Techniques: Praise, physical comfort/contact_

_Emergency Contact: Robert Singer_

_Special Notes: History of trauma, trust issues, may show resistance to domination_

 

The harsh light of the computer screen burned your tear-reddened eyes. You felt like you were orchestrating infidelity within your own relationship by hiring Sam a service dom but he was dropping hard and wouldn't let Dean get close. The older Winchester seemed trapped between jealousy and relief. On one hand, he didn’t want anyone else touching his boy. On the other, he wasn’t sure if that even was his boy. The dom had been going back and forth in his feelings about the switch. Whenever Sam showed echoes of his former self, Dean would become jubilant, talking enthusiastically about the future once Sam got his soul back. If the switch did something that pointed towards emotional numbness, Dean would become silent and brooding.

The worst was after missions for Crowley. Following the demon’s orders made Dean angry and he would usually go straight to the garage, finding something physical he could do to work off the aggression before coming back in and fucking you into the mattress. You hated knowing that your dom was struggling (though the sex was definitely not something you were complaining about) and had been learning as much as you could about souls, hoping you could find a way to restore Sam’s without playing Crowley’s game. Another whine of distress from the panic room pulled you from your thoughts and you quickly finished the form. A notification email arrived shortly after, letting you know that they were sending a service dom out ASAP since there was a sub actively dropping. Now you just had to wait.

  


“He’s just through here. I really appreciate your coming so quickly.” The dom (who had introduced herself as Thalia) smiled kindly.

“Of course. I’m one of the service doms on standby for emergency calls. You were saying that Sam is your soulmate?”

“Yeah. Our dom is away on business and had to stay longer than originally anticipated. Sam had a nightmare last night about some past trauma that put him in a bad headspace and he dropped.” You had rehearsed the lie several times, hoping it would be enough to explain at least some of the strange behaviors you knew Sam would be exhibiting. Dean had left as soon as you told him someone was on their way, not wanting to be around for the session. You missed his calming presence already and prodded at the muffled bond in your mind, annoyed when he continued to ignore you. Bobby had bounced as  soon as Sam started dropping. Arriving at the door of the guestroom (since you had figured the panic room would be suspicious and there was no way in hell Dean would let another dom take one of his subs down in his own bed), you knocked softly. “Sam? The service dom is here to see you.” You opened the door slowly to find the switch sitting curled up in a ball against the far corner. Thalia tutted sympathetically.

“Hello Sam, my name is Thalia. I’ve read your intake form and spoken with your soulmate a little bit. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to try and help you out.” The younger Winchester didn’t respond, pressing himself harder against the wall. Thalia took her shoes off and set her bag down before sitting cross legged on the floor across from your distressed soulmate. “I’m going to stay right here, okay? You let me know when you feel comfortable getting closer.” You were impressed by her adaptability and decided she was trustworthy enough for you to leave the room. You had set up a nanny cam earlier to make sure nothing bad happened behind the closed door. Turning to leave, you froze when Sam whined.

“You’re not staying?” The switch’s eyes were wide and you weren’t sure how to react.

“I wasn’t planning to, no. Do you want me to stay?” Sam nodded and you looked to Thalia. She shrugged.

“If having (Y/N) here will help you feel comfortable then she can stay. Are you okay with being in the room while I take him down (Y/N)?” You felt sick at the idea of watching another dom with your soulmate but if this was what Sam needed, you would find a way to make it work. Swallowing back the anxiety, you forced your face into what you hoped was a calm smile and leaned against the door.

“Of course.”

It took about twenty minutes for Sam to move. Thalia sat serenely the whole time, looking out the window at the large oak tree. You were counting the passing seconds in your head, a familiar comfort measure and almost missed it when Sam jerkily scooted forward a bit. Thalia didn’t react at all and Sam came closer. It wasn’t until he was halfway across the room that she acknowledged his progress.

“You’re doing such a good job for me Sam. Don’t go faster than feels comfortable.” Encouraged by the praise, Sam crept forward the rest of the way, stopping just arm’s length away from the service dom. “I’m going to get something out of my bag now, alright?” When the switch didn’t protest, Thalia opened her bag and pulled out a ball of tangled necklaces. “Could you please separate these for me?” The switch nodded and eagerly set to work. At first, you were confused but as you watched the his shoulders relax and breathing begin to slow, you understood. The simple task required full focus and would help pull Sam up enough to redirect his headspace. There were about six necklaces in total and the knot was complex. Thalia didn’t rush the switch, only murmuring gentle encouragements. When he got the first chain completely free she smiled. “Good Sam, what a clever boy you are! Get the rest now.”

By the time Sam laid the last necklace out smooth on the floor, he was visibly relaxed. He looked up at Thalia, waiting for her approval. She put each necklace away in a separate box to keep them from tangling again. “Thank you Sam, you did very well. Are you ready to move on?” The switch nodded and she smiled. “Alright. I can see that you’ve relaxed some but it looks like there may still be some tension in your shoulders. I’d like you to take your shirt off and lie facedown on the bed. I’m going to get some oil and try to work those knots out. Does that sound like something you can do?” Sam hesitated before standing slowly. He watched Thalia warily as he undressed and stood nervously in front of the bed before looking over to where you were still leaning.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes Sam?”

“Will you come sit next to me?” Realizing that he needed someone he trusted to have his back, you made your way over to the bed and crawled up to lean against the headboard. Sam let out the breath he had been holding and arranged himself with his head in your lap. You began petting the long strands of hair, almost forgetting what was happening as you relished the closeness. Thalia clicking open the lid on her bottle of massage oil startled you back into reality. Sam flinched at the loud noise and grabbed for your hand. You shushed him and squeezed his fingers twice. Eventually, he relaxed again and Thalia approached the bed. “Alright Sam, I’m going to pour some oil on your back and then I’ll touch you. Before I start, can you tell me your safe word?” The switch mumbled into your thigh. “I’m sorry Sam, I didn’t hear that. Could you lift your head a little?” You felt Sam huff in irritation before raising his head just long enough to spit out ‘ _Poughkeepsie_ ’ and settling back into your lap. You had to fight back your laugh at the almost sassy behavior coming from your soulmate. He tensed when the oil dripped down between his shoulder blades and you squeezed his fingers again. Thalia waited a moment before slowly putting a single hand in the very center of his back. Sam made an unhappy noise against your leg but didn’t move. The massage started out fine, light touches to get the switch used to Thalia’s hands. Once he had relaxed a bit more into it, she began applying firmer pressure, working at the knots around his neck and shoulders. When she had loosened a particularly nasty ball of tension, Sam let out a long moan. Immediately, he shot up and scurried off the bed, standing in the corner with a hand over his mouth. You sat up.

“Sam?” His eyes were wide as he glanced back and forth between you, Thalia, and the door. After a few deep breaths, he lowered his hand and fixed Thalia with an angry glare.

“Get out.” She held oily hands up placatingly.

“Sam I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable but you’re not in a good headspace. I don’t think you should be left without a dom right now.”

“You have to leave if I tell you to, right? She has to right (Y/N)?” You slowly got down from the bed and approached the skittish switch.

“If you want her to stop, you can say your word. But I think she’s right. You need to go down babe.” The Winchester’s hands were shaking again as he looked down at you.

“I don’t want her. I don’t like her.”

“Okay, we can see if the agency can send someone else.”

“No!” His loud protest had you flinching. “I don’t want another dom I want _my_ dom. I want Dean.” You put a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down. In your mind, you slammed against the wall your dom had put up, making him open it all the way in alarm. You struggled to convey what was happening, hating the limitations of the incomplete bond. Back when the three of you had been linked, it was much easier to communicate. Forcing through need and Sam and urgency, you kept pushing until you could tell the dom was on his way. Sam was breathing heavily, staring at Thalia like she was some kind of imposing threat. Not looking away from your soulmate, you began speaking in a calm voice.

“Thalia, I think you should leave. Our dom is on his way and should be here within the next ten minutes.” Hearing her sputter in confusion, you risked looking over your shoulder. “I lied to you earlier. He’s in town. Things are complicated.” You felt Sam’s muscles tense and looked back up at the switch. “Easy Sammy, Dean will be here soon and he’ll take care of you. Just hold on a few more minutes.” Even though you were no longer connected to him through a soulbond, you could feel your body responding to Sam’s distress.

“I’m going to wait outside until your dom arrives. I’d like to check in with him about what happened here.” Thalia quickly gathered her belongings and exited the room, leaving the door open. Once she was gone, Sam relaxed slightly, pulling you into a tight hold. You nuzzled into his neck, reveling in the contact you had missed for so long. The muscled arms around you were shaking and you brushed your lips over Sam’s throat, silently begging Dean to hurry.

  


* * *

 

 

Dean glared at the condensation dripping down his still-full glass of beer. He had planned on drinking himself stupid, not wanting to be able to think about what was happening back at the house. Unfortunately, he couldn’t help thinking about it. Knowing that in that moment, his boy was probably blinking a bleary smile up at whatever service dom the agency had sent made his skin crawl. Every inch of him ached to go back to the house and kick that stranger out so he could take care of his sub himself. But Sam didn’t want him. And that stung more than anything else. He felt his girl poking at him through the bond, projecting irritation at being locked out and groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. He was letting both of his soulmates down. Just as he raised the glass to his lips, (Y/N) crashed her soul against the wall he had put up. He barely kept from dropping the glass as he opened the bond as wide as it would go. Throwing way too much cash down on the bar, Dean practically ran for the door. His subs needed him.

  
  


Pulling up at the house, Dean scowled in revulsion at the agency car parked outside. He was so focused on getting to where Sam and (Y/N) were that he almost missed the woman sitting on the porch swing.

“Dean?” He stopped and turned angry eyes her way.

“What the hell did you do to my subs?”

“I haven’t done anything remotely harmful, I promise. My name is Thalia and I’m here from the Dominant and Submissive Support Agency. I wanted to give you a quick debrief on my session with Sam.”

“That sounds fascinating but right now, I need to go check them out for myself. You’d better hope I don’t see anything bad in there.” He didn’t give Thalia the chance to respond, storming through the house to the guestroom (Y/N) had set up.

  
  


Even if you hadn’t heard him coming, you would have known when Dean was in the doorway from the way Sam’s breathing hitched and his shaking ceased. The switch loosened what had become an almost too strong grip on you.

“Dean…”

“Hey Sammy.” The dom came closer until you could feel the whisper of his loose shirt against your back. “What do you need sweet boy?” Sam whined, tightening his hold on you again.

“I don’t know what I need.” He squeezed you harder, making you squeak as the air was forced from your lungs. “Help me Dean!”

“Okay easy easy.” Dean reached out and ran a careful hand down Sam’s shoulder to his wrist. “I’ll help you out Sam but first I need you to loosen up on (Y/N) okay? I know she’s cute but she’s not actually a doll and does need to breathe.” When Sam eased his hold on you, running his hands down to hold your hips, Dean hummed approvingly. “There we go, good boy Sammy. Thank you for doing that.” He kept up the gentle touches and steady stream of praises for a bit longer until Sam’s breathing had became slow and deep. “Alright baby boy, how do you feel about a shower? We can get all that oil off. I bet that would feel nice.” Sam tilted his head when he felt you shiver. “It looks like (Y/N) likes that idea. Should we give her what she wants?” The switch nodded slowly, watching you with fascination.

 

As Dean led you and Sam to the bathroom, you felt him checking your emotional state. You knew he was worried that you would be apprehensive about any kind of intimacy with Sam after what happened and to be honest, even you were surprised at how calm you were feeling. This was a different Sam. He wasn’t quite your soulmate but he was a far cry from the person who had hurt you. And you could tell that he was watching you, needing you to show him how to submit. With Dean as the dom, you were more than happy to be the example. For his part, Dean was thrilled. He had expected to feel less than pleasant domming Sam when he was like this but that was far from the case. Taking control of the situation felt natural, his jittery instincts soothed. Looking after the two of you was as easy as breathing and Dean knew he could help his boy.

  
  


Sam held himself awkwardly in the shower, eyes darting to your and Dean’s bodies then away, as if afraid he would be caught looking. His brother chuckled warmly and turned around slowly, showing off. “You can look Sammy. We’re all yours. Just like you’re ours.” The switch took that permission and ran with it, staring hungrily at his shower-mates. You couldn’t help blushing under the intense scrutiny and busied yourself with soaping up a washcloth to distract from the heat of Sam’s gaze. Dean took the cloth from you and very very slowly began washing the massage oil off Sam’s back. At first, the contact made the switch tense up, hand grabbing yours and squeezing. Eventually though, he relaxed and leaned into the ministrations, moaning as Dean continued where Thalia had left off in her massage. You giggled when Dean’s cock twitched, your dom clearly affected by the pleased sounds coming out of his brother. The giggle turned into a moan of your own when Dean got his revenge by shoving arousal through the bond. Sam’s eyes snapped up and met yours.

“Isn’t that a pretty noise Sammy?” Dean grinned at you. “Doesn’t she just sound like the sweetest thing?” The switch nodded and tugged gently at the hand he was still holding. When he had pulled you in close, Dean stretched to whisper into his boy’s ear. “Should we keep making her sing for us?” Sam swallowed hard.

“Yeah…”

Dean searched your eyes for a moment to make sure you were still okay. “Safe word is poughkeepsie, okay?” You nodded.

“Yes Dean. But I thought we were taking Sam down.” The cocky smirk on your dom’s face made your knees weaken.

“Don’t worry babygirl. I’ve got it all under control.” He stroked his fingers down your cheek, smiling wider when you almost immediately took his thumb into your mouth. “Are you needing something to suck on sweetheart?” When you nodded, he pulled his thumb free. “How about you and Sammy kneel down here, there you go...that’s right...both of you are so good… What am I going to do with two sweet sub mouths when I only have one cock? Do you think that you can be good for me and share? Fuck-just like that!” He had barely finished crooning out his instructions before you and Sam went to work simultaneously, you sucking at the head of Dean’s cock while Sam laved up and down the shaft. On his fourth pass, he gently eased Dean out of your mouth so the two of you could switch places. Dean leaned back against the tile wall, gripping each of you by the hair. “Fuck you’re so good. Sammy…(Y/N) you have such a perfect little mouth…”

Something seemed to click in Sam’s brain and he began taking Dean in further, his own cock twitching when he gagged. “Do you want me to fuck your face baby boy?” The switch hummed and tapped gently at Dean’s thigh in consent. Dean fisted Sam’s hair and snapped his hips harshly while you mouthed around his balls. Having both of you again was heavenly and Dean felt himself climbing higher and higher. Wanting to hold off on cumming, he yanked Sam’s head back, the switch pouting when he was forced to release his treat. “Don’t worry Sammy I won’t keep you waiting long. It looks like all of that oil’s gone now so let’s dry off. That shower floor can’t feel good on your knees.” He should look into getting some waterproof kneeling pads...

  


Dean grinned and stroked himself slowly while he watched you and Sam. After you had exited the shower and toweled off, Dean had led the two of you to your own room where Sam had urged you to curl up with him on the bed. Now the two of you were locked in a deep kiss and he was loathe to interrupt and disturb such a lovely sight, especially when he hadn’t seen anything like it in so long. When Sam whined and bucked his hips, the dom approached the bed to shush his needy brother.

“Sammy it’s okay, let me get you all set up here.” He eased the two of you apart and rolled Sam onto his back. “Do you think you’d be okay if I fucked you?” Sam bit his lip in an uncanny imitation of you and nodded, wriggling his hips when the dom began running strong hands up and down his thighs. “Good boy. I bet (Y/N) will keep kissing you while I get you ready, won’t she?” You took the hint and shifted so that you were leaning over the switch. He cupped your cheek in a large hand and pressed his lips to yours, licking his way back into your mouth. “There you go, so good both of you”. The kiss kept Sam calm while Dean prepped him with the switch barely flinching at being opened up. It wasn’t until Dean brushed his sweet spot that he reacted, groaning and tugging a little harder at your hair. The dom smirked. “Alright Sammy, I’m gonna fuck you now. Let me know if it’s too much.”

It was decidedly not too much. Sam groaned into your mouth, pulling you closer while Dean rocked into him. You drank in the sounds, humming happily. It was so close to perfect, so close to how things used to be. Suddenly, Sam pulled back from your mouth, running his hands through your hair. “Will you…? I want to try something…”

 

Turns out he wanted to try something the three of you had done before, if in a somewhat different permutation. You had realized pretty early on that Dean was happiest when he was putting those plush lips to use. About four months into your relationship with the boys, Dean had set both you and Sam to ride him, Sam on his cock and you on his face. It looked like Sam wanted a repeat of the event. You blushed as he urged you to straddle his head, feeling awkward and on display. Dean seemed to be enjoying the view though if his choked groan was anything to go by.

“Fuck look at you two… Thought I’d never get to see this again.” He hissed when Sam went to work, watching your eyes flutter closed and your hips start to roll. “There you go sweetheart, is Sammy making you feel good?” You whined in response and Dean started slamming into Sam harder, making the switch moan, the sound vibrating against your slick skin. You leaned forward to bury your face in Dean’s neck, nails digging into his shoulders. He stroked his fingers through your hair with one hand, the other reaching down to play with his boy’s leaking cock. Sam keened and bucked into the touch, his grip tightening on your hips. The switch was the first to cum, crying out loudly as his release shot out and splashed on all three of you. You followed quickly after, biting at Dean’s collarbone and grinding hard against Sam’s tongue. Once your orgasm ebbed, Dean pushed your shoulders, pulling out and laying you and Sam side by side so he could cum on both of your bellies. He flopped down on the trembling switch’s other side, running a soothing hand down his brother’s arm.

“Good boy Sammy, thank you for trusting us. Does that feel better?” He looked up when Sam only sniffled in response. “Sam? What’s wrong baby boy?” The switch shook his head, looking lost.

“My body is being strange.I don’t know why I'm crying... I think...  No, I know“ He sighed. “I want my soul back. I want to feel you again.” Hazel eyes looked up at Dean with something almost resembling desperation. “Dean please help me.” The dom swallowed and pressed a kiss to the corner of Sam’s mouth, still wet with your slick.

“I will sugar. I promise.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

A familiar fluttering sound made you look up from your books.

“Hi Castiel”

“Hello (Y/N).” The angel squinted at your notes. “You are researching souls?”

“Yup. I’m hoping we can find a way to get Sam’s back.” The angel sat next to you. “What brings you here?”

“I wanted to thank you. You risked your life to protect me from Raphael even though I haven’t been particularly kind to you.” Cerulean eyes narrowed. “Why did you do it?”

“Because Dean trusts you. And from what I’ve heard, you’re the reason he’s even here now.  I owe you.” The angel seemed confused. “I’ll admit that I didn’t like you at first but you’ve grown on me. I think I get it now. You’re not a dick, you’re just focused.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Just roll with it.” You smiled at your confused table-mate and he smiled back.

“I will do my best.”

  
  
  


Things were different after the three of you had sex. Sam was no longer locked in the panic room overnight, instead snuggling between you and Dean. The switch seemed addicted to touching the two of you, an urge you and your dom were more than happy to indulge. Bobby had snarked about the increased PDA at first but you could tell that he was pleased to see the change. He had been spending time with Sam as well, taking the switch fishing one afternoon, something the two of them had done when Sam was younger. While they were out, you and Dean grilled Castiel for any possible leads on fixing Sam. The angel quickly grew irritated.

“What you two seem to be refusing to understand is that even if we can get his soul back, it will be severely damaged. Michael and Lucifer have been trapped in that cage with nothing else to do but torture him. Do you truly want to force that battered thing into him?”

“Couldn't you just heal it?”

“Dean I am flattered that you think me capable of rebuilding Sam's torn up soul. Unfortunately, I do not have anywhere near the power necessary for such a feat.”

“Then who does? God?” Dean's anxiety was tearing at you and you squeezed his hand.

“No one has even seen God. I know this is not what you want to hear but this current version of Sam is the best anyone can do. The man you knew is gone.” Dean shot out of his seat and headed to the garage where you knew he would find something to destroy.

“Castiel?”

“Yes (Y/N)?”

“There's something that's been bothering me. You said that you don't know who brought me and Sam back. We found out that Crowley was behind Sam and Samuel but he seemed genuinely surprised to see me.” The angel furrowed his brows. “At what point should I start to worry about the fact that I'm not dead? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be here but it is a bit concerning that no one knows how it happened.”

“I agree with your concerns. I'll see if I can find anything.”

 

* * *

 

 

> _“There you go sweetheart, you’re being so so good. Such a good good_ **_good_ ** _girl. Keep staying still for Sammy.” Dean held you tight against him, arms around your middle, legs hooked under yours and spread. Silky strands of hair tickled your thighs as Sam lapped at the wetness your body was making for him. Two long fingers ran slowly up and down your folds, never delving in, never touching that sensitive bundle of nerves at the top. You whined loudly, squirming in your dom’s hold. Finally, the fingers sank into you, soothing the sweet ache and stretching you deliciously. Knobby knuckles rubbed against your inner labia as the fingers crooked, tapping at that magic place your own hands couldn’t reach. A low chuckle echoed out in response to your breathy mewl, buzzing against your sensitive skin._
> 
> _“So wet babygirl.” The switch looked up at you from in between your legs. “Dean, you should feel how tight her little pussy is squeezing my fingers. And I haven’t even touched her clit yet.” The dom grinned lewdly and nibbled at your ear._
> 
> _“Is that true sugarplum? Are you getting Sammy’s face all wet and messy for me to clean off later? How sweet of you.”_
> 
> _“Dee-heeeaaaan...Sa-ha-ha-haaaaammmy-y-y” You groaned, canting your hips up as much as you could in Dean’s strong hold. “Please more please please!”_
> 
> _“More? Are you sure you need more? I think you could cum just like this.” You whined and writhed, trying to get Sam to move his lips to where you were feeling sensitive and needy and so so neglected._
> 
> _“Oh poor baby…” Dean’s cooing voice only wound you up tighter. “Is Sammy ignoring your little button? How mean of him.” Sam massaged your inner sweet spot harder and you sobbed. “I could ask him to kiss you there but then he wouldn’t stop until I say so. Do you think you could handle that little girl? Even if you’re cumming and cumming and cumming until it hurts he won’t stop until I say he can.” You nodded wildly, wetness practically gushing out of you and onto Sam’s chin. “Okay if you say so. Give it to her Sammy.” The switch leaned his head up and kissed just below your belly button before slowly moving back down, kissing and licking your skin as he went. Soon his mouth was right above where you needed, all he had to do was wrap those lips around it and…._

 

You woke up breathing heavily and whined at missing the best part of your dream. The whine only increased in pitch when you realized that there was a very awake Sam between your legs echoing dream-Sam’s actions. Hazel eyes blinked up at yours as he licked over your clit before wrapping his lips around the bud and sucking. You keened and came, grinding yourself against his face as you chased the pleasure. A punched gasp had you looking up at the doorway where Dean was standing with three cups of coffee.

“Damn, I leave you two alone for ten minutes and this is what you get up to? So naughty.” He kneeled next to the bed so he could speak into Sam’s ear. “How many times do you think you can get her to cum before I finish my coffee?” You groaned. This was going to be a pleasurable but very long morning.

 

* * *

 

You tripped and fell, tumbling into the den. Before either brother could react, you were back on your feet, an excited grin on your face.

“I did it! I found a way to get his soul back!” Dean rejoiced in your mind as he pulled you into a tight hug.

“I knew my clever girl would think of something! So what is it?”

“There’s an old Celtic spell that I’ve modified. I think it should work. I just need a few ingredients.”

  


Later you, Dean, and Sam sat around a small altar you had built. After lighting the last candle and mixing all but the final two ingredients, you took a deep breath. If this didn’t work, you weren’t sure what you would do. Dean caught your wave of apprehension and squeezed the hand on your knee.

“You’ve got this babygirl.” Nodding, you added the mugwort before taking the silver blade out of the cleansing bath of rain water and winter-sweet. You, Dean, and Sam each cut across your palms as you recited the spell.

“ **_ar fuil...ar gràdh...is e seo ar anam iomlan ann an slabhraidhean....slabhraidhean sgrios le gaol...buin dhomhsa...Èist a-nis agus gèilleadh an anam_ **”

The candles began flickering as a cool wind blew through the room. The ingredients in the bowl began glowing with a silvery aura before a blue-white orb of light emerged. Knowing this light was Sam’s soul and that you only had a few moments, you quickly reached out in your mind. The soul flared, sensing you and Dean and allowing you to guide it back into Sam’s body. Your soulmate’s eyes began glowing the same blue-white as the wind picked up. The candles suddenly went out as the wind stopped. The glow faded from Sam’s eyes and he collapsed, unconscious. You and Dean looked at each other nervously, both hoping that the spell had worked. Now you had to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really pleased with this chapter and I hope all of you are too. As always, thank you for commenting/kudos. I love being able to see what you're thinking and respond.  
> Big things are happening in chapter 24 so stay tuned!


	25. No More Monsters, I Can Breathe Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has his soul back and all is well... Or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist-I'm Santa. Here's some shit for under your tree.

Sam slept for days with you and Dean staying by his side the whole time, sleeping in shifts so that he never went unwatched. On day three, he started responding to your voices, twitching his fingers when you or Dean said his name, lips twitching into a smile when the two of you would tell him how much you loved and missed him.

By day five, you could tell that Sam was fighting the unconsciousness. His brows were furrowed and every once in a while he would make a small noise. It wasn’t until day seven that hazel eyes fluttered open. You had been in the armchair near the window reading out loud to the slumbering switch while Dean dozed lightly, sitting on the floor against the bed. When Sam’s eyes opened, you stopped reading and gasped, startling Dean into full awareness. Both of you stood and looked at the switch, waiting to see if he would finally be himself again. Sam sat up slowly, blinking his big doe eyes in confusion. You knew it was confusion because for the first time in a year and a half, you could feel your soulmate. Having his presence in your mind again was euphoric and you couldn’t help reaching out and flooding the bond with love and joy and belonging, Dean doing the same. The onslaught of affection snapped Sam out of his reverie and he finally looked up, fixing his eyes on Dean. The older Winchester’s jaw dropped in a soundless cry as Sam threw himself into his dom’s arms. The two held each other tightly and you were torn between feeling delight at their reunion and jealously longing for a hug of your own. 

Eventually the boys separated and Sam turned to you. His face had been calm and dreamy when he was in Dean’s embrace but quickly went ghostly white when he saw you. The switch’s soul projected horror and he bolted from the room, leaving you with your arms outstretched. 

  
  
  


“Sam? Sam please open the door.” You couldn’t help but notice the irony as you begged your soulmate to unlock the same bathroom door you had hidden behind when he first came to pick you up after your resurrections. There was no answer and you sighed, sliding down to sit with your back to the door. “Sam whatever’s wrong, we can talk about it okay? Please just let me see you. I’ve missed you so so much.”

“Sammy let us in.” Dean had been silent up until that point but he couldn’t ignore the despair in your voice. The dom’s authoritative tone seemed to work since barely two seconds after the order was given, you heard the lock click open. You scrambled to your feet as Sam opened the door, eyes glued to the floor. Dean stepped forward and put a hand under Sam’s chin, drawing his boy’s eyes back up. “What’s happening in your head baby boy? Talk to us.” The switch whined and glanced in your direction. “Tell me Sammy.”

“I…” Sam took two deep breaths before steeling himself. “I shouldn’t be allowed around you, either of you. Especially not (Y/N). Do you know what I did Dean?” 

“I know sweet boy.” Dean pulled his brother in close. “But it wasn’t you.  **_You_ ** didn’t do anything.”

“That’s bullshit!” Sam shoved his brother off of him. “Is that what you told her? Dean, that’s a lie. It’s not like when Lucifer killed her using my body. This time I was in full control of what was happening. I did it.”

“You didn’t though.” The boys looked over at where you were huddled against the wall. “Sam, what happened was… It was beyond awful. But it wasn’t something that you did.”

“(Y/N) I won’t let you forgive me for this. I knew exactly what I was doing and I knew I was hurting you and I didn’t care.” You mustered up your sternest glare which probably was less impressive given the tears running down your cheeks.

“First of all, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who gets to decide if I forgive someone. Second, I’ve read the formula for that shit they had you on. It turns off your oxytocin receptors and jacks up the levels of vasopressin. All rage, no compassion. Add the fact that you were missing your soul… Sam you didn’t have a moral compass and your brain literally couldn’t produce happy hormones. You were a victim in this too, just maybe not in the same way. The only person at fault here is your fucking piece of shit grandfather.” You were so mad at Samuel that you actually stomped your foot like a four year old. “That dickhead has already hurt us so much Sam, don’t let him drive us apart any further.” 

 

Sam’s mind swirled with indecision and longing and self-loathing. Dean sighed at the storm of emotions and practically shoved him at you. “She forgives you Sammy. I forgive you. Can we please move past this and be a family again?” Sam wrapped his arms around you gingerly, letting out a surprised breath at how good it felt when you clung tighter. You stretched up on your tiptoes to nuzzle at his throat and he leaned down to give you a hesitant kiss. When your lips met he groaned and held you tighter, only stopping at a pointed cough from your uncle.

“How many times do we have to talk about keeping things kosher in communal living areas?” Sam’s hair flopped in his eyes as he smiled sheepishly and your heart soared. Everything was perfect.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Everything was  _ not  _ perfect. All through dinner you could see Sam’s leg bouncing restlessly. He was still leaking feelings of guilt and conflict, unable to hide it as he had been without the bond so long that he had fallen out of practice. Your uncle didn’t seem to notice.

“So Sam, how does it feel to have your soul back?”

“It feels...good? At least mostly good.” The switch pushed the peas around on his plate nervously. “I’m glad to be back but there’s a lot to process.”

“You gonna be okay? I know your brother’s had a hard time with his memories of hell even though he won’t admit it.” Both brothers shuddered involuntarily and you glared at your uncle.

“I don’t remember...that. But I remember everything topside.” Sam pushed his plate away so he could rest his elbows on the table, head in his hands. “I’ve done a lot of bad. A lot. I’m not sure if or how I can make things right.” You and Dean both passed waves of comfort through the bond and the rest of dinner was eaten in silence.

  
  
  


“No way. I’m not doing that.”

“Dean you have to.”

“No I don’t! He didn’t do anything wrong!” You groaned in exasperation, fixing your dom with your best glare.

“Dean, it doesn’t matter if Sam is actually to blame. What matters is that he feels guilty. You can’t just leave him hanging with that.” Sam sat on the bed, watching you and Dean argue. The switch was drowning in remorse and self-denigration. Dean’s face was pinched when he looked over at his brother, eyes full of anguish.

“Sammy please don’t make me punish you for this.” The switch whined and curled in on himself and you growled.

“Dean you know how this goes. Delaying it is only going to make him feel shittier.” The older Winchester looked up at the ceiling and shook his head.

“Dammit….” He sighed and took in Sam’s nervous energy. “Alright baby boy, I’ll give you what you need. Just wait a few minutes while I get things ready okay?” Sam whimpered and nodded, flinching back from your hand when you tried to caress his cheek.

  
  
  


Less than fifteen minutes later, Dean had stripped the bed down to a single sheet and was arranging his now unclothed sub on hands and knees.

“Alright Sam, we do this and then you’re forgiven okay? No more guilt after we’re finished.”

“Yes Dean” Sam’s voice was a quivering whisper that tugged at your heartstrings. 

“Sam, do you know why you’re being punished?” Long hair flopped as Sam nodded. “Tell me.”

“I’m being punished because I was bad and I hurt a lot of people. I betrayed (Y/N) and I deserve to be hurt too.” Dean squeezed his eyes shut for a minute and swallowed hard.

“You don’t deserve to be hurt sweet boy. I’m punishing you for working with Samuel and not coming to me as soon as you were back.” It was the closest he could come to punishing Sam for the things he had been made to do while brainwashed. Hopefully it would be close enough to assuage the switch’s guilt.

“And for hurting (Y/N)” Sam’s voice was shaky but insistent and Dean sighed.

“Okay baby boy. I’m also punishing you for making (Y/N) feel like she wasn’t safe. No more stalling now. If you’re ready, tell me your safe word.”

“Poughkeepsie Sir”

The click of the lube bottle opening made Sam start and Dean was quick to run a soothing hand down his boy’s trembling thigh.

“Hey sugar I need you to relax a little bit more. You’re okay, I’m here and I’m going to take care of you.” Dean lubed up his fingers and gently pressed one into Sam’s hole. “Just trust me baby.” He worked his finger in and out slowly until Sam was ready for a second one. The switch whined and pushed back against Dean’s hand, cock twitching and the dom chuckled. “Ah ah ah...you know better than that Sammy. This isn’t about feeling good.” He grabbed the washcloth out of the bowl of ice water he had set on the nightstand and swiped it over Sam’s length.

“Ahh! Dean!” Sam jerked in his hold and Dean swatted him lightly on the bottom.

“Are you going to stay still for me or do I need to tie you up?” Sam gulped and set his shoulders.

“I can stay still Sir.”

“Good boy.” Dean put the cloth back in the water and returned to his work, getting Sam stretched out and dripping with lube. “I think you’re ready now baby. Remember, don’t get hard.” He curled his fingers, finding Sam’s prostate and rubbing insistently. The switch groaned at the firm stimulation, whining when the cold washcloth came back. You watched in fascination from your seat in the armchair as Dean continued to massage the sensitive gland.

After what must have felt like forever for the switch, fluid began flowing slowly from the tip of Sam’s soft cock. Sam’s face reddened and he made a garbled sound of frustration as he was forced into an ejaculation that was completely void of pleasure. Dean didn’t let up, continuing to rub Sam’s sweet spot after there was nothing left, only stopping when his brother’s legs collapsed and he fell into a twitching ball on the mattress.

“There we go Sammy, it’s all over now.” Dean grabbed the quilt you held out and wrapped his boy up, beckoning you to curl into the switch’s other side. “You’re forgiven sweetheart, it’s all in the past. Such a good boy for me.” Sam grabbed for your hand and nosed at his brother’s jaw when Dean stretched out next to him.

“Thank you Dean.”

“Of course. Anything for you Sammy.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


While the punishment had relieved Sam of his guilt, the three of you weren’t out of the woods yet. The switch was skittish, jumping at loud noises, staring in fear at random spaces of air, and flinching whenever you or Dean touched him unexpectedly. Bobby avoided any contact after an attempted clap him on the shoulder resulted in a black eye. You and Dean were desperate to know what was troubling your soulmate but he didn’t want to share and you didn’t want to force the issue. 

Things came to a head when you woke up at 2am to Sam screaming for Dean. You had grown used to Sam’s nightmares by this point-the ones he pretended not to remember-but there was something different this time. He wasn’t in bed with you. You shot up, watching as your terrified soulmate scrambled around the room, searching every possible hiding place for your missing bedmate. 

“Who Sam easy” Dean (dressed only in his boxers) came into the bedroom and rushed to the panicked switch. “What’s wrong sweet boy?” Sam said nothing at first, yanking Dean close to him and breathing in his scent. Finally, you heard him mumbling against his brother’s skin.

“I woke up and you were gone. I thought he got you. He said he was going to get you.” Dean walked Sam back to bed, moving you into the switch’s lap and studying his brother.

“I just got up to take a leak baby. Who did you think got me?” Sam’s eyes drifted over to the empty armchair, staring at it in horror. You bumped your nose against his chin.

“Sam? What’s going on?” The switch squeezed you tight to his body, eyes never moving from the chair.

“I think I might be going crazy.”

  
  
  


“So you lied earlier?” Sam shrugged. “Answer me!” Dean’s voice was dangerously low and you could feel how nervous it was making Sam.

“Dean you need to cool it.” The dom glared at you.

“I don’t need to do anything. He needs to tell us the truth.”

“Right, because you doing your whole intimidation thing is really going to inspire him to open up.” Dean began pacing. “Look, obviously Sam hasn’t told us everything that happened yet. I want to know too. But I don’t think that anger is the best way to get him to trust us.”

“I do trust you.” Sam whispered, staring at his hands. “It’s me I don’t trust.”

“Sam we’ve been over this, you’re forgiven.”

“Not because of that Dean!” The switch started tugging at his hair. “It’s my mind. I think… I don’t know.” He forced a smile at you when you coaxed his fingers into your own, pulling his hands down into your lap so he couldn’t keep hurting himself. After a long pause, Sam met his brother’s worried eyes. “I don’t know if this is really happening.”

You and Dean listened in horror as Sam described his hallucinations. It seemed the three of you couldn’t catch a break. After all the torment of trying to survive without each other, the agony of being betrayed, and the hopelessness of having your soulmate present but gone, this was a sick turn. How could you possibly argue against what fake-Lucifer had said? Sam’s eyes kept darting back over to the chair by the window and you frowned.

“Sam? Are you seeing him right now?” The switch nodded and Dean cursed.

“He’s not real.” The dom kneeled down in front of his petrified brother. “Sam look at me. I’m real, (Y/N) is real. There’s no one else in this room.” Sam looked back over at the chair as if he was listening to something.

“He says the opposite. It’s just me and him in here.”

“Give me your hand, Sam.” The switch blinked in confusion but complied and allowed his brother to take a large hand and guide it to his chest. “Feel that baby boy? That’s my heartbeat. And it’s real.” Sam smiled minutely. “(Y/N) has a heartbeat too.” Dean helped Sam find your pulse point on your neck. “She’s alive and breathing and real.” The switch sniffled and replaced his fingers with his mouth, kissing the place where he could feel your pulse fluttering under soft skin.

“I  _ want  _ it to be real.” You could feel hot tears sliding down your skin. “I want it so bad.” You felt a pulse of belonging as his mouth brushed against the leather of your collar and gasped.

“Oh!” The brothers watched in confusion as you pulled the necklace off, loosening the slip-knot, and tugged it over Sam’s head. When the pendant fell into place, the switch sighed, eyes fluttering closed. “How’s that Sam? Can you feel that?”

“Yeah…” He brought his fingers up to run along the leather down to the pendant and back. Dean’s eyebrows were scrunched in confusion as he tried to understand what was happening. You picked up on his frustration and rolled your eyes.

“Collars are more than an accessory Dean. At least not to subs who have soulbonds. It’s like a tangible extension of the bond. Didn't you pay attention in sex ed?” 

“Are you seriously asking me that?”  _ Fair point… _ Sam stroked his long fingers over your now bare neck.

“What about you though? I don’t want to take this from you (Y/N).”

“You aren’t taking it, I’m giving it to you.” The switch looked torn, frowning at the lack of visible ownership on you. “If you want, you can mark me another way…” Both boys smirked and you squeaked as they pinned you down.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Bobby was wise enough not to comment on the ring of hickeys around your neck, though he did blush when he first saw you sporting the bruises. Letting the boys mark you up like that may have been a mistake since they now were taking every opportunity to give you touch ups that usually ended in sex and while you were certainly enjoying the extra attention, you did have a life to live outside the bedroom. Dean also seemed to be responding to Sam’s neck being claimed. More than once, you had caught him staring at the collar around his brother’s neck with slightly parted lips and what looked like the beginnings of a bulge in his jeans. Maybe it was a good thing that Sam had never had a collar before. Otherwise, who knows how many ghosts and monsters would have gone unslain because Dean couldn’t keep it in his pants?

 

“So I was thinking we could take a trip to the beach.” You and Sam looked up from where you were cuddling on the couch. “It would take a couple of days but we could drive to California.”

“Do we really have time for that Dean?” Sam sounded apprehensive. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d love a vacation but we’re kind of in the middle of some stuff. What if Crowley calls?”

“What if he calls? (Y/N) got your soul back. We don’t need him anymore.” Dean nudged his brother. “Scootch over Sammy, I want in.” Sam laughed and moved, letting Dean settle in on the switch’s other side. “We’ve had so much crap stacked on us lately and I say we’ve earned a break.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And if that break involves our little kitten in a bikini, I’m not complaining.” You and Sam rolled your eyes.

“Dean I don’t even own a bikini. Besides, you see me naked all the time.”

“Can I see you naked now?”

“Are you  _ always  _ horny?

Sam hummed happily and kissed his girl’s forehead. He had missed this.

**_I hope she does get naked._ ** The switch froze at the familiar voice.  **_It’s been a while since I saw a cute little piece of ass._ ** Sam growled and tightened his grip on you, his other hand going to the amulet around his neck.  **_Awww Sammy, do you really think you can keep me from looking at her? I’m the one running this whole world._ **

“Go away!” You and Dean shared a concerned glance.

“Sammy? You still with us baby boy?”

**_Should we tell him? Let him know that his ‘baby boy’ is still buried deep in the belly of hell?_ **

“You’re not real!” You put a hand on Sam’s face, trying to get the switch to look away from the corner of the room and focus on you.

**_I’m not? Are you sure about that? Maybe a change of setting would help…_ **

 

_ Sam’s mouth dropped in horror as he realized that he was no longer in Bobby’s house. He was back in the cage, hanging by his arms from the wall. But instead of looking at his usual companions, it was a far different scene.. He watched in horror as Lucifer approached the metal table he had tied your body to. Your mouth was gagged but your eyes were begging Sam to help you. Sam struggled against the chains holding him back as Lucifer began to slowly break every bone in your hand, one by one. The gag could only muffle your shrieks of agony so much and Sam’s heart broke at the sound. When Lucifer moved to continue the torture up your arm, the switch tried to look away but couldn’t, realizing that his eyes were trapped on the scene in front of him. He was forced to watch helplessly as Lucifer snapped every bone in your body, your screams so loud he felt like his skull was shaking. When a broken rib punctured your lung, you passed out from the pain. Lucifer tutted in disappointment and untied you, shoving you from the table where your limp body crumpled on the floor. Immediately, the next victim appeared. Sam struggled again, still helpless to stop as Dean was tortured. This time though, there was no gag and he was forced to listen as his brother shouted, not in pain but in pure hate.  _

_ “This is your fault Sam! You did this! You tainted and twisted and infected our souls with your fucking darkness. (Y/N)  I will never go to heaven and it's all because of you!” Lucifer looked over at the devastated switch and grinned. _

**_I create your reality Sam. And I really don’t care for the way you’ve been ignoring me._ **

_ He picked up a blade and began carving into Dean’s stomach, the dom continuing to berate his brother. _

**_We could stay here if you like… Or if you’re a good little boy and do as I say, I’ll take you back to the nicer place._ **

_ On the floor, you were stirring, bones snapping back together as Lucifer healed your body so he could begin the torture again. _

**_So what’ll it be Sammy?_ **

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Once again, you were staring at your unconscious soulmate. This time though, he was out because of Dean. The switch had been hysterical, screaming and fighting against a horror neither of you could see. You had tried to bring him back to reality, only to end up dodging a punch. Dean swooped in immediately, yanking you away from your erratic soulmate. He had tried commanding Sam since orders had worked in the past. This time though, Dean's voice seemed to trigger a higher level of panic. Sam had started screaming, begging Dean for forgiveness. The older Winchester could only take a few moments of that before resorting to drastic measures. Within a matter of minutes, Sam was knocked out and restrained, back in the panic room.

 

 

As soon as he was sure that his brother couldn't get anywhere, Dean bellowed “CAS! Get your feathery ass down here now!” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every single one of you is a sweet little angel muffin made from glitter and love and wow I'm so tired my family hangs out forever and I'm just rambling now hi.
> 
> I'm gonna sleep now.
> 
> Happy Holidays!


	26. The Olive Branch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel shines some light on how Reader was able to do the impossible and pull Sam's soul out of the cage. Unfortunately, it looks like she might be carrying a threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up on Christmas morning to see that this story has over 5000 hits! It was the craziest present ever!

_ _

_ As soon as he was sure that his brother couldn't get anywhere, Dean bellowed “CAS! Get your feathery ass down here now!”  _

 

* * *

 

 

The level of disapproval in the angel’s eyes was almost like a physical blow and even Dean took a step back from the clear threat.

“What did you do?” His voice was even lower than normal.

“We found a way to get Sam back, no thanks to you.” Dean refused to show how nervous Castiel’s fury made him. 

“And exactly how nefarious of a deal did you have to agree to?”

“We didn’t. (Y/N) found a spell.” Castiel frowned.

“I know you may find your soulmate exceptional but it is impossible for someone as ordinary as her to have worked magic powerful enough to accomplish this task.” Dean’s eyes flashed in offence. “Is it possible that she went behind your back?”

“No! (Y/N), show him the spell.” You got up and grabbed the book you had used as well as the notes you made to alter it, letting Castiel study your work.

“I don’t understand. That spell is nowhere near strong enough to penetrate the cage and retrieve Sam’s soul.” He frowned at the prone figure on your bed. “Would you permit me to check and see if his soul is truly intact?” At your and Dean’s reluctant nods, the seraph repeated his earlier actions, reaching into Sam’s body. Even in his sleep, the switch writhed in agony and Dean was quick to comfort him as best he could, kissing his brother’s furrowed brow and whispering soothingly. After a moment, Castiel pulled his arm back with a stunned look on his face.

“I don’t know how, but you succeeded. His soul has been restored, though it is incredibly damaged, as is his mind.” He squinted at you suspiciously before looking over to your dom. “Dean I apologise for this.” He placed his fingers to your forehead and you collapsed. Before the older Winchester could react, Castiel had disappeared.

“That was wei-” Dean’s voice left him when he realized that you were no longer in the room and he shot to his feet. “(Y/N)?  **(Y/N)?!** ”

  
  
  


You had learned a lot in the time spent without your boys, mostly through experience. One of the first things you’d learned was to freeze when you woke after unexpectedly passing out. Faking being unconscious for a few seconds longer gave you the opportunity to take inventory of your situation and make a plan.

Unfortunately, you had never been kidnapped by an angel before. Castiel knew as soon as you woke up, speaking before you opened your eyes.

“What are you?” 

“Castiel?” You looked around, realizing you were no longer in your uncle's house. “Where are we?”

“Answer me!” The angel fixed you with a look of pure contempt. “You aren’t (Y/N), you aren’t even human. What are you?”

“Cas I’m me. I’m (Y/N). Dean and Sam’s soulmate? You know me!” The angel’s eyes flashed a bright blue as the lights began flickering.

“Do not lie to me.”

“I’m not!” You struggled against the invisible binds holding you to the chair. “Castiel I don’t understand what’s happening. You’re scaring me.” You tried to reach Dean or Sam in your mind and met a wall. “What did you do to my bond?”

“I have muffled the connection until I can determine how much of a threat you are.” The angel stared at you with a mix of fascination and disgust. “How cruel of a creature must you be to take advantage of a man mourning his soulmates? Dean Winchester has faced enough adversity. I will not allow him to be tricked by you any longer.” 

It seemed that the seraph genuinely thought you were a fraud and you weren’t sure how to convince him otherwise. “Castiel I’m not lying to you. I’m a human. My name is (Y/N), I’m a 26 year old submissive, my uncle’s name is Bobby Singer, my father died when I was 10, I’m allergic to walnuts, and I met my soulmates when they came to save me from a werewolf massacre.” The angel only stared in silence as frustrated tears began to build in your eyes. “I was killed by Lucifer when he hijacked my soulmate’s body. I came back from the dead somehow and since then I’ve been terrified about how that could have happened. Cas, I  _ need  _ you to believe me.” Your captor sniffed dismissively. “Castiel I thought you could tell when someone was lying. Go into my mind.” This suggestion seemed to work and the seraph put his fingers to your forehead again. Instead of dropping asleep though, this time you watched as your memories were played back in extreme levels of detail. You watched the lead-up to your death, the reaper who had come to fetch you, the porch swing at your uncle’s house serving as your own personal heaven… Then Castiel went deeper, pulling out memories you didn’t even know you had and examining them. There was a flash of gold and an urgent voice, garbled and warped into being unidentifiable before you woke up in that field in Colorado. Fast forward and you were watching the spellwork you had done to bring Sam’s soul back. Amidst the wind and silvery light, you saw for the first time that your eyes were glowing gold as the spell took hold.

  
  
  
  
  


“What the hell Cas?” Dean glared daggers at the angel as he held you tight against his body. “You can’t just go kidnapping people.”

“My apologies Dean. I was attempting to protect you.” Castiel tilted his head in thought as he stared at you. “I have determined that (Y/N) is who she says she is. What I am still unsure of is how she managed to do what even most angels could not.”

“Who cares? The only thing that matters is that the spell worked. Now we just need you to fix his brain so he stops going all ‘beautiful mind’ on us.”

“I care, Dean.” The dom looked down at where you were biting your lip. “We still don’t know how I got back and now I’m somehow able to work magic beyond Castiel’s capability. Doesn’t that seem problematic to you?” Through the reopened bond, you could feel Dean stubbornly suppressing his concern, squashing it with gratitude over having his soulmates back.

“What if we don’t like what we find? (Y/N) I can’t lose you again.”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Dean.” You jumped at Sam’s voice, not realizing the switch had woken up. “No one said anything about us losing her.” Dean sighed.

“Fine. If you three want to go be horse dentists, that’s your prerogative. Just know that I am fully against this. And you're not taking either of my soulmates anywhere without me from now on!”

“I will remember that.”

“You’d better.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

You blinked up at Sam, cum drunk and floaty and happy. He smiled fondly when you pushed buckets of affection through the bond. The boys had spent the better part of the afternoon taking you apart and now you were in a very good headspace, not aware of anything other than the two men on either side of you. He glanced at his brother.

“Is that what I’m like when I’m down?” Dean’s lips quirked up in a grin.

“It’s close, yeah. Her eyes stay more focused and I think you can track conversations better but that dopey little smile is the same.” Seeing you and Sam down deep and content was intoxicating and Dean sometimes wished he could freeze time in those moments. He reached down and booped your nose. “She’s got no idea what we’re talking about, do you sugarplum?” His guess was correct. You weren’t following the conversation but you could tell from their tone and expressions that your doms were pleased. You hummed and poked at the bond again, soaking up the gobs of love the brothers were sending.

A knock on the door made the boys jump and you made a small sound of confusion. “Whoever it is, come back later!” Dean sounded angry and you reached up to touch his cheek, wanting your dom to be happy again. He gave you a tender look and took your hand, kissing each fingertip. The sweet moment was interrupted by a louder knock.

“Dean I’m afraid this is urgent.” The dom groaned at Castiel’s gravely voice and rolled out of bed, hushing you when you whined. Hopefully the angel didn’t need much and Dean would be able to get back to his soulmates quickly.

“Fine Cas, just a minute while I get decent.”

“I would like to speak with Sam and (Y/N) as well.”

“Guess that’s our cue…” Sam sat up and caught the shirt Dean tossed him, pulling it over your head. Once all three of you were more or less clothed, the angel entered. Dean angled himself in a way that blocked you from view, not thrilled with the idea of anyone other than him and Sam being around you when you were this far down and vulnerable.

“You do know that I have no problems with nudity, yes? It is not necessary for you to be covered when we speak.”

“Yeah well Sammy’s a possessive little shit sometimes and I’d hate to see him kill you because you saw me or (Y/N) naked.” Sam shot Dean a stinkface at the remark.

“I do not believe your brother is capable of killing me.”

“Is there a reason you came here?” Castiel picked up the irritation in Sam’s voice.

“I’ve located a spell that will show me how (Y/N) was able to retrieve Sam’s soul.” Sensing the brothers’ hesitancy, Castiel sighed. “It will not cause any pain or damage.” The brothers exchanged a concerned look while you scrunched up your face, trying to pull yourself out of subspace. You couldn’t understand the words being said but your doms seemed unhappy and you had heard your name a few times. It didn’t seem like they were upset with you though, moreso this other person. You tugged at Sam’s shirt and sent a pulse of questioning. 

“Just give us a few minutes to bring her back up.”

“Actually it may be better to perform the spell now while she is more relaxed.” Intense anger flared from Dean’s end of the bond and you whimpered. Sam shushed you and pulled you into his lap.

“Not an option. Nothing happens when she’s down.” Dean turned his back on the angel and came back to join you and Sam on the bed. “Come back in ten minutes.” He waited until he was sure the three of you were alone before leaning in to kiss away the worry lines on your brow. “Hey sweet girl. It’s time to come back to us now…”

  
  
  


“So how exactly is this going to work?” You eyed the seraph suspiciously. “Do you have to tickle my soul or something?”

“Not exactly. You may remember that there was an unusual quality to your eyes when you were performing your spell.” You nodded. “That light would indicate that you were drawing power from something outside yourself. I’m going to find the source.” He handed you a piece of paper. “There is an incantation written here. I need you to recite it. This will draw the power out for me to identify.”

“Sounds easy enough.” You studied the words on the page. They weren’t in any language you knew of. As the incantation left your lips, you felt warmth bloom in your chest. A golden glow surrounded you and Castiel reached a hand out, concentrating on the light. The angel’s eyes widened in surprise and Dean frowned.

“Cas what’s happening?” Castiel ignored him, and touched your forehead once again to end the spell. Your knees gave out and he caught your falling body and handed you over to Sam. 

“This is unexpected. It would appear (Y/N) has some connection to an archangel. My guess would be that one of them brought her back.”

“An archangel?” Castiel nodded and you felt fear skate through the brothers. “Well who are we talking here? There’s four of them.”

“Not anymore.” Sam tilted his head back and counted. “Gabriel’s dead, Michael and Lucifer are locked up…” When he looked back down, his eyes were wide. “You don’t think Lucifer piggybacked over do you?”

“No, Lucifer’s grace is more distinguishable.” Castiel looked at you assessingly. “I fear this may be connected to Raphael. He knows that I have a connection to Dean. Perhaps he is using (Y/N) to spy on me.”

“But I would know if I had an angel under my skin, right?” You glanced back at forth between the three men in the room. “I never agreed to be a vessel or anything like that.”

“Raphael isn’t using you as a vessel but you do have a bit of his grace tied to you.” Dean took your hand in his to stop you from digging your nails into your palm.

“So how do we untie it?” Your boys were trying and failing to hide their concern. Castiel shook his head.

“I don’t have the power to remove the grace of an archangel. For now we will just have to be cautious.” A horrible thought occurred to you.

“It’s not possible that I’m some kind of sleeper agent right? I don’t have to worry about blacking out and waking up in the angel war do I?” 

“I don’t believe that would be possible. You shouldn’t fear the battlefield.”

“Well at least there’s that…” Before you could say anymore, Sam’s end of the bond twisted up in the way that usually signalled a Lucifer sighting and the switch began shaking.

“Shit!” Dean dropped to his knees in front of his hyperventilating brother. “Sammy, listen to my voice. You’re in Bobby’s house right now with me, (Y/N), and Castiel. There’s no one else in the house.” He grabbed one of Sam’s hands and pried long fingers out of a tight fist, helping the switch find and grasp the amulet. “Feel that baby boy? Can you feel us?” Sam’s eyes were still focusing on something none of you could see and his breathing was growing more and more erratic.

“Didn’t this already happen twice today?” Dean nodded grimly. “Is it me or are we losing him more often?”

“I warned you not to retrieve his soul. Sam’s instability will only increase as time goes on.” 

“Cas I really don’t need an ‘I told you so’ right now!” Dean’s voice was gruff and you sent a gentle wave of reassurance. “Unless you can work some angel mojo and help us, I want you to leave!”

“Very well. I will return with any information I can find on Raphael’s connection to (Y/N).” The seraph disappeared, leaving you and Dean to soothe your distressed soulmate.

  
  


* * *

 

 

The next few weeks were difficult. Sam's grasp on reality was dwindling. Before, he had been seeing Lucifer maybe once or twice every couple of days and was able to find his way back to you and Dean by holding the amulet, using the bond as his guide. Now it seemed that he was hallucinating more often than not and it was getting harder and harder to bring the switch's mind into the present. He was also sleeping more and more, dreams obviously no less disturbing than the daytime visions. 

Dean wasn't coping very well, looking for comfort at the bottom of liquor bottles. You had tried and failed to get the dom to help you look for ways to help Sam. Dean seemed determined to drink until he couldn’t remember anything and there wasn’t much you could do to get him to put the bottle down and listen.

As the person who brought Sam's soul back, you couldn't help feeling responsible for his current state. When you weren't with Sam-reading to him, or stroking his hair and whispering quiet reassurances, you could be found in your old bedroom pouring over heavy books. You were pretty sure that coffee had replaced the blood in your veins with how many cups you were downing. Every couple of days, Dean would come find you and make you go to bed but you didn’t stay asleep for more than 4 hours or so. Every time you had the same confusing dream...

 

> _ You were curled up under a blanket on the porch swing, drinking a cup of tea. The boys were getting dressed and would be down soon to join you. Leaning against the armrest, you felt a twinge of pain from the bruise Sam had left on your hip the night before. You purposely bumped the bruise again, closing your eyes as you remembered how tightly he had gripped you, how broken his voice was when he begged Dean to let him cum, how Dean’s teasing chuckle was so low you could practically feel it in your bones…. _
> 
> _ “Come on kiddo we don’t have much time.” The urgent voice pulled you from your musings and you frowned at a blurry figure standing in front of you. _
> 
> _ “What? Who are you?” _
> 
> _ “I’m a friend of Sam and Dean. I’m bringing you back to them.” Whoever they were, they sounded nervous. Distantly, you wondered what the boys must have done to arrange for someone to invade your heaven. “Seriously, get a move on. You want to go back don’t you?” _
> 
> _ “How do I know that I can trust you?” _
> 
> _ “You don’t but I’m the one who is offering you a chance to be with your soulmates again. Unless you want to spend the rest of eternity waiting for people who won’t come and remembering sex you didn’t actually have?” They had a point. Reluctantly, you got up. _
> 
> _ “Alright… I just hope this isn’t a trick.” As the figure took your hand to lead you away, you sneaked a glance over your shoulder into the house where you could have sworn you saw a flash of brown hair. The mystery person laughed. _
> 
> _ “For once in my life, I can honestly say I’m not playing a trick.” You turned to try and see your savior, only catching a glimpse of amber eyes before everything went dark. _

  
  
  
  


When none of your uncle’s books proved useful, you broke into the tomes you had taken from your mother’s stash. After her death, you had inherited the house and all of its contents, including her vast collection on spellbooks. Since her ultimate goal was necromancy, your mother had a large cache of occult texts and many of them referenced the mind and soul. It was while you were studying one of these books that a more sober Dean came to find you. You scrambled to hide your reading, but the guilty look on your face immediately raised suspicion.

“What do you have over there kitten?” Dean moved your arm away from the book cover and frowned. “Sweetheart where did you find this? It’s not something you should be messing with.”

“It’s mine.” You tugged the book back into your arms, holding it to your chest. “And I think I could rework something in here to fix Sam.”  Dean’s face fell in distaste and you rushed to defend yourself. “I know that the spell I did before wasn’t good enough but I’ll do better this time, I promise!”

“That’s not the problem (Y/N).” Dean took a seat on the bed. “There was nothing wrong with your spell and I’m not blaming you for Sam’s issues. I just don’t want my good girl messing with black magic.” You snorted.

“Dean, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’ve been doing witchcraft for a while now. There’s a bit of a learning curve to monster fighting so I needed something to fall back on.”

“Were you planning on telling me about this?”

“Honestly?” You bit your lip. “Probably not unless I had to. I haven’t done much magic since meeting back up with you. Other than bringing back Sam’s soul, the last spell I did was on Gwen Campbell. I didn’t want her tattling on me for kicking her ass so I might have muddied up her memories of our fight a little bit.” You could tell that Dean wasn’t happy with this information, knowing about his hatred for witches. “It’s not like I’m doing anything evil.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be like your mom.”

“I didn’t back then. But after everything that happened…” You shrugged. “I guess I got tired of feeling helpless. Surprisingly, I’m actually pretty good at this. It’s probably because of that archangel juice.” Your soulmate scoffed and you felt irritation bubble up inside you. “Don’t you sit there and fucking judge me Dean. This is the most sober I’ve seen you in weeks. As least I’m not ignoring my problems by getting trashed.” It was a low blow and you felt like a dick as soon as you said it. To your surprise, Dean didn’t get defensive.

“I know babygirl and I’m sorry.” He reached over and took your hand, pulling you from the child-size desk to cuddle up with him on your old twin bed. “I’ve been pretty selfish. You and Sam needed me and I should have been there for you.” Feeling your bemusement, he looked down at your head against his chest. “What?”

“You come to this conclusion on your own or did my uncle give you shit?” The dom cleared his throat and pulled you closer.

“He may have threatened to start charging me rent if I didn’t get my act together.”

“Thank you Uncle Bobby.” Dean snorted and tried to roll over so he could kiss you, forgetting how tiny the bed was. You couldn’t help laughing when he rolled straight onto the floor with an offended squawk. He growled playfully and grabbed your leg, tugging you down to join him on the floor. Just as you were crawling up his body to get at those insanely soft lips, there was a throbbing in the back of your mind. Sam had woken up, clearly not on the real side of bed.

Dean’s face fell, pain rocketing through the bond. You stood and reached for his hand. “Come on, let’s go help Sammy.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

“Alright babydoll, let’s get some sleep.” You shook your head, and Dean sighed. “(Y/N) you know how this goes. You say no, I say yes, you argue and start crying, I order you, and we both go to bed feeling like crap.” He put a hand on your cheek and drew your gaze up to meet his. “Could we change up the script? Your books will still be here tomorrow.” Reluctantly, you stood, taking his hand and following him to the bedroom where Sam was already sleeping.

It looked like the switch was actually having a good dream this time. His brow was smooth, lips quirked up into a small smile. You shucked your clothes, tugging on one of Sam’s button-ups. Very very carefully, you climbed into bed, terrified of waking your soulmate from what was probably the best sleep he was getting in a month. Dean seemed to share your concern as he gingerly slid in on Sam’s other side.

 

> _ The bruise on your hip ached deliciously and you shifted to bump it again. _
> 
> _ “Come on kiddo we don’t have much time.”  You squinted skeptically at the blurry figure. _
> 
> _ “I’m not going anywhere with you Raphael.” The stranger snorted. _
> 
> _ “Raphael? Is that who you think I am? I’m hurt.” _
> 
> _ “Castiel said you’re an archangel. Process of elimination points to Raphael.” _
> 
> _ “Does it? Are you sure he’s the only one left in play?” _
> 
> _ “If you’re not Raphael then who are you?” The stranger snapped his fingers and smirked at you, suddenly crystal clear. _

  
  


The boys snapped awake when you shot straight up in bed.

“(Y/N) what’s wrong?” You turned wide eyes to Dean.

“It’s not Raphael.”

“Then who is it? Lucifer?” Sam’s lip quivered at the idea.

“He said his name is Gabriel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait on this chapter. I've been sick and writing fics while ill leads to some weird ass fever dreams. I'm pretty sure Sam and Dean trapped me in a dryer because of something to do with Katy Perry...and cheese was involved?  
> Anyway I wanted to make sure that this came out coherent because it's not really a throwaway chapter.


	27. To Trust a Trickster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel makes Reader an offer that Dean forbids her to accept, Lucifer's grip on Sam becomes stronger, and the Campbells are cunts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience on this one! And, as always, thank you for your comments. Reading what all of you have to say is my favorite part of this whole thing.  
> Also-Gabriel is super fun to write bc he's a sassy asshat. Sasshat?

_ “It’s not Raphael.” _

_ “Then who is it? Lucifer?” Sam’s lip quivered at the idea. _

_ “He said his name is Gabriel.” _

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean was pissed. No. Scratch that. He was beyond pissed. Of all the assholes to come back from the dead and mess with his soulmate, it had to be the one who had killed him a kajillion times. Gabriel had a lot of explaining to do. The archangel kept bouncing when things got messy. They really could have used his help during the apocalypse.

“Are you sure he said Gabriel?” Dean asked for the millionth time.

“Oh you're right, he actually said his name is Larry. I was mistaken.” You rolled your eyes and Castiel tilted his head.

“There are no angels named Larry.” As soon as you had revealed the name of the archangel behind your resurrection, the boys had summoned the seraph. He had been just as surprised as the Winchesters but at least he wasn't questioning your memory.

“She was being sarcastic, Cas.” Sam sighed and tugged you into his lap, nuzzling the part of your shoulder left exposed by his too-big shirt. “Dean I think we've established that it was Gabriel.” You nipped at his jaw affectionately before looking over at your seething dom.

“What's your beef with him? I thought he's the one that told you guys how to reopen Lucifer's playpen. Shouldn't we be grateful?”

“He told us how to do it but didn't stay around to help. Why wouldn't he share some of that archangel muscle?” Dean was glaring at Castiel as if the seraph knew Gabriel's thoughts. 

“He did say that he was dead… Maybe he's just come back? Cas died and came back.” Sam's reasonable tone was only serving to irk Dean further and the dom let out a bitter chuckle.

“Right because he's definitely never faked his death before!” 

As the boys continued to argue, you leaned back against Sam and closed your eyes. The archangel in your dream didn't seem that...archangel-y. He didn't even seem that regular angel-y. He looked like a guy who had gone a few rounds with a weed wacker, nowhere near a celestial warrior. Humming absently, you poked at Sam through the bond, still marvelling at the reopened connection. He squeezed you a bit tighter in acknowledgement as he continued to try and talk Dean down. The older brother was firing off anger and irritation and possessiveness and...was that fear? You tugged at the hidden emotion, trying to dissect it. The examination did not go unnoticed though and Dean raised an eyebrow at you.

“You have a question, kitten?” You nodded.

“Why are you scared of Gabriel?” The dom bristled and slammed the bond shut, drawing hurt whines from both you and Sam. You knew that your dom hated being vulnerable but closing off access to the bond felt excessive. Rather than explain himself though, Dean went with his usual strategy of deflecting attention.

“Why are you so cool with this Sam? You seriously don't think this guy is bad news?” Sam sat up straighter, jostling you.

“I'm not okay with this Dean. I don't want Gabriel anywhere near us. But pretending it's not him won't help anything.”

“Are either of you going to tell me about the elephant in the room? What did Gabriel do that has you guys so freaked?"

“They probably harbor resentment towards him for killing Dean over a hundred times and making Sam watch.” Castiel's matter of fact delivery made his words sound that much more ridiculous. You could feel old anger bubbling up within Sam and let some waves of comfort pass over the bond. “I believe it was in an attempt to highlight the fact that Sam and Dean are each other's biggest weakness.”  _ What a dick... _

“Well he just sounds lovely… So why bring me back? I would argue that I'm just as much a weakness.”

“I doubt his motivation was didactic. Resurrecting you must have some other meaning.” You yawned widely.

“Well I don't think we're going to figure much else out tonight. Let's regroup after a few more hours of sleep.” Dean grinned.

“You always have the best ideas babydoll.” Castiel disappeared with a flutter and Dean started worming his way back under the covers, only stopping when you grabbed his wrist. “What's up buttercup?”

“I was just thinking about how we’re all awake and how soft this bed is…” You winked. “Seems a shame to waste this opportunity.” Dean grinned slyly and practically launched himself across the bed at you.

You always did have the best ideas.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


A job with honest-to-God dragons kept you and Dean busy. Sam came along as well but was assigned to research duty as his ability to focus on reality was continuing to deteriorate. Dean hadn't been happy with your Trojan Horse/bait plan of joining a church club in an effort to appear virginal. It ended up being a moot point since no purity ring or schoolgirl outfit could erase the decidedly un-virginal things you had done with the boys. If anything, the uniform only upped the stain of sexuality on your soul. Turns out Sam had a thing for role-play. Your dreams had been mundane, the archangel not reappearing after the night he shared his identity. You had almost forgotten about your heavenly assist when he finally showed up again.

 

_ The bruise on your hip was starting a different kind of ache in your body and you rubbed your thighs together, thinking about your soulmates and all the wicked things you wanted to do to them. _

_ “Having fun?” You jumped in your seat, taking in the battered archangel in front of you. He held his hands up. “Please don't stop on my account.” _

_ “Gabriel…” you eyed him suspiciously. “What do you want? I know you didn't bring me back out of the kindness of your heart. What’s the game?” _

_ “Why does there have to be an ulterior motive?” Gabriel looked almost disappointed. “Can’t a guy just be nice?” Your patented bitchface proved that you weren't buying his shit and the archangel sighed. “Alright princess. I sprung you as an apology. Turns out Dean-o and Sammich were able to gum up the gears in my brothers’ little game after all. I would have helped out if I could but up until a couple months ago I could barely scratch my own nose. You seemed like a fitting reward for the guys who saved the world.” He frowned when you continued to stare him down. “You don’t like me.” _

_ “You killed my dom.” You deadpanned. “Multiple times.” _

_ “That was a necessary if unfortunate event. And hey, no harm done! He’s still got those pouty lips and surly attitude that you and little bro seem to love.” Amber eyes bored into yours dejectedly. “Come on (Y/N), I brought you back from the dead. I wasn’t expecting you to be worshipful or anything but a ‘thank you’ would be nice. What do I need to do to make you believe that I’m not the bad guy here?” Your blank stare didn’t change and he sighed. “What if I told you I could fix big boy’s brain?” Gabriel grinned when your eyes widened with interest. _

_ “Go on…” _

_ “I could show you a spell that will evict Luci from Sam’s mind permanently. No more hallucinations, no more flashbacks, no more devil on his shoulder.” This all sounded way too good to be true. _

_ “And what would you want in exchange?” _

_ “Usually such exceptional magic would come with a hefty pricetag but for you… I’ll settle for a little bit of trust.” You turned the offer over in your head. On the one hand, Gabriel was notorious for deception and had already done extreme amounts of damage to your soulmates. On the other, he did bring you back to life. And it wasn’t like Sam could get much worse… _

_ “Deal.” _

  
  


“Castiel?” You looked up at the clouds, feeling incredibly silly. “I’m not really sure how this works but I’d like a chat if you’ve got a minute.” The blue-eyed seraph appeared, looking a bit rumpled and annoyed.

“(Y/N) I am mid-battle. What do you need from me?” You blushed and held out your notebook.

“I was wondering if you could take a look at this spell. Gabriel came to me in a dream last night and told me that this would fix the damage to Sam’s mind.  Figured I should have someone who knows about this stuff check it out before I pull the trigger.”

“I do not have time right now to give it the attention necessary but I will review it as soon as I am able.” The angel took your notebook and vanished before you could thank him.

  
  
  


Castiel got back to you after a few days. He arrived to find you and Dean cuddled protectively around your trembling switch. Sam was squeezing your hand tight in his and struggling to follow Dean’s deep breaths. The angel hesitated for a moment, remaining invisible as he watched your attempts to comfort your third, Dean whispering reassuring praises in Sam’s ear while you used your free hand to stroke firmly down a strong arm, touches more grounding than sensual. When the younger Winchester had relaxed a bit, he allowed himself to be seen.

“(Y/N)...” you looked up. “I have reviewed the spell. It appears that Gabriel is telling the truth. There is nothing harmful hidden in it, only healing. Some of the ingredients will be difficult to obtain but I would be happy to assist.”

“What spell?” Dean’s voice held the usual angry tone that came from being left out of the loop. “What did Gabriel tell you?” You smiled sheepishly at your dom.

“He came to me in a dream and gave me a spell that would help Sam. I asked Castiel to check it over to make sure it seemed legit before casting it.” Dean growled and shot to his feet, ignoring Sam’s whimper of distress at losing the contact with his brother.

“Hell no! You’re not going to do anything Gabriel told you to do! We can’t trust him (Y/N).” The dom was pulling his usual tough guy act but you could feel how afraid he was underneath the surface. He was just as worried about Sam as you were and wasn’t about to trust the wiley archangel with his vulnerable soulmate’s sanity.

“What if I want to try it?” Sam’s shaky voice pulled Dean out of his tough guy act. “Cas said it looks safe and Gabriel did bring (Y/N) back.” Hazel eyes pleaded with stormy green. “Dean I can’t keep going like this. Please let us try to fix it. What do we have to lose at this point? I have my sanity for maybe two hours a day and that time is just shrinking.” The switch took in a shuddering gasp. “I don’t want to lose you to my own mind.”

“Sammy…” Dean’s face crumpled and agony passed through the bond. The switch opened his mouth as if to say something more but all that came out was a strangled gasp as his eyes lost focus again and his mind went fuzzy. As his soul twisted in horror, you looked at Dean.

“Please?”

 

* * *

 

 

To your great vexation, Dean was still refusing to let you and Castiel attempt the spell. At your urging the angel had gone to collect the ingredients anyway, though he expressed displeasure at the idea of disobeying a direct order from his favorite human. Between the days arguing with your dom and nights listening to a whiny archangel in your dreams, you were exhausted. When your uncle came to breakfast with another lead on a case, you were thrilled. At least this would give you an outlet for your frustration.

 

Of course that outlet wouldn’t be available until you made it to Ohio. Glaring at the back of Dean’s head, you cursed inwardly for not riding with your uncle. Your moodiness was spilling over to the boys and you could see it was bothering Dean from the way he clenched his jaw. Given the fifty shades of fucked up this whole situation was looking, all four of you were heading out. Sam seemed okay for the moment, playing with the amulet and humming along to the radio. You huffed and sent more irritation Dean's way, making him snarl and pull over sharply.

“Really (Y/N)? Are you just gonna keep being bratty?”

“That depends. Are you going to keep being unreasonable?” Your snarky tone was definitely pushing the dom's patience and you were honestly surprised he hadn't snapped yet. Sam squirmed uncomfortably and Dean glared at you.

“Now you've upset Sammy! (Y/N) this whole thing is hard enough without you throwing a tantrum.”  _ Oh no he didn't… _

“I'm throwing a tantrum? What the fuck are you doing then? We’ve got an actual solution here and you won't let us even try because you don't like the source. Dean how many times now have you worked with demons? This is nowhere near as bad as being Crowley's bitch!”

“We're not talking about this anymore. I've said no.” You glared hard at Dean for a moment before a horn honking stole your attention.

“Everything okay in there?” Bobby shouted out the window of his truck. “You having car trouble?”

“We're fine, just stopping for a-(Y/N) get back here!” You had taken advantage of Dean being distracted and exited the backseat. “Baby please don't be difficult.”

“Screw you Dean!” You slid into the passenger side of your uncle's truck, crossing your arms. The older Singer raised his eyebrows.

“Do I need to kick his ass?” Bobby was such a great uncle.

“Not quite yet.” You chuckled. “Let him stew in it for a bit.” Bobby continued driving and you could see Dean slamming his hands against the wheel behind you. “dick…”

  
  


By the time you arrived in Ohio your anger had faded, leaving behind a twisted mix of despondency and bitterness. Your uncle had stayed silent at first, letting you rant for just under two hours about how frustratingly stubborn Dean was being. Once you had calmed your tirade he offered his advice. Bolstered by the fact that he agreed with your desire to attempt Gabriel's spell, you listened to his points. Dean was acting more out of fear than anything else. The archangel had never proved himself to be above suspicion and with Sam so vulnerable it made sense that the dom would be cautious. You forgot sometimes that Dean had thought both of his soulmates were dead until only a few months ago. It wasn't unreasonable for him to be wary of anything that could steal you or Sam away after he'd just got you back.

At the same time, Sam wasn’t getting any better. His grip on reality was becoming less and less stable with every passing day and you were feeling desperate. 

You kept the bond wide open for the duration of the drive, allowing Dean to listen in on your thoughts and emotions. He didn't send any real reactions but you knew that he was paying attention. It was with a much lighter heart that you approached your soulmates. You went to Sam first, glad to see that the switch was still lucid. It was impossible to ignore the toll Lucifer sightings had taken on him. Sam’s cheeks were sunken, under-eyes dark and the arms he wrapped around you felt weaker than before. Your heart ached for your soulmate and you hoped that Dean would see reason soon.

“Hey kitten.” Dean said softly as he stepped in behind you. “Missed you.” You tilted your head back to smile up at the man who frustrated you to no end but whom you couldn’t stop yourself from loving.

“Missed you too.”

  
  


Of all your uncle’s friends, Rufus was the hardest for you to get a read on. The man was a bit of an enigma, boisterous but secretive. You were never really sure where you stood with him. Suffice to say, you were less than thrilled when he showed up with all of you at the cannery since the situation was insane enough without adding in a wild card.

“Is that (Y/N)? I haven’t seen you in years!” You let Rufus pull you into a hug. “What’s she doing here Bobby?”

“(Y/N)’s part of the club now. She’s Sam and Dean’s soulmate and has some good war stories of her own.” Disapproval flashed in Rufus’ eyes before he smiled and patted you on the shoulder.

“Alright well try to keep up. Lord knows I’m already wasting enough time waiting for your uncle to hurry his ass up.”

 

The five of you crept through the cannery silently, eyes and ears open for threats. You, Sam, and Dean separated from Bobby and Rufus to check the second floor. Once you were out of earshot of the others, Sam cleared his throat.

“So are we going to talk about what happened in the car?” The switch’s voice was timid and you cursed yourself for being at least partly responsible for his nervousness. Sam should never be afraid to talk to his own soulmates.

“I’m not sure if this is the best time.” You said, looking over at Dean warily. “It seems to be an emotionally charged conversation.”

“We can talk about it when this is done.” Dean’s face looked pained but you could feel that he was at least willing to listen. You each split off to search different corners, keeping the bond open. You were about to check what looked like a janitor’s closet when Sam's mind muddied up again,  making you abandon your post. As you and Dean rushed to your soulmate’s aid, you heard shouting and a scuffle downstairs and the three of you went running to see what had happened. What you were met with was definitely not what you had expected. Standing in front of Bobby and Rufus was a very pissed off looking Samuel and Gwen Campbell.  _ Oh fuck… _

 

Both you and Dean immediately raised your weapons, eager to wipe the scum that was Samuel Campbell off the face of the earth. Unfortunately, your uncle had different priorities.

“Slow down you two. There’s plenty of time to kill him later.” Gwen seemed less than reassured by Bobby’s words and you couldn’t stop the satisfied smirk her fear brought you. “I take it you’re here for the same reason we are?”

“We’re tracking Eve. Apparently she’s the mother of every sick twisted thing crawling around this world.” Samuel said, looking down his nose at all of you.

“Oooh Sam Dean! We can meet your great grandma!” Your chipper insult made the Campbell patriarch sneer.

“I see the whore is just as mouthy as ever.” You blew a kiss in the old man’s direction.

“You watch your tongue!” Bobby growled, advancing on Samuel. “That’s my niece you’re talking about.”

“Two brothers shacking up with their pseudo-father's niece?” Gwen snorted. “You all take incest to a whole new level.” 

Sam's low chuckle was your only warning before his gun fired, sending Gwen to the floor. She gasped, blood seeping from the wound on her stomach and bubbling out of her mouth. Immediately, Rufus knelt on the floor and pulled Gwen into his lap, putting pressure on her injury. Bobby reached out to take the weapon from Sam but the switch only smirked and raised his hand out of reach. You frowned when you realized that something seemed off about your soulmate. Dean must have noticed the change as well since he yanked you out of the danger zone.

“Sammy what's going on?” Dean was speaking in the soothing tone he only ever used with you and Sam, rarely within earshot of others. 

Bobby slowly backed up. “Is it Lucifer?” You shook your head. 

“I don't think so… Something happened when we were upstairs but it doesn't feel like a Lucifer thing.”

“I don't care what it is!” Samuel snarled. “That freak killed her and now I'm gonna kill him.” 

“Like hell you are!” Dean advanced on his grandfather.

A sharp whistle drew everyone's attention over to Rufus. “No one is killing anyone else. Dean, take Sam’s gun away.” There was no need though as Sam dropped his weapon as soon as Rufus finished his sentence, looking at Gwen’s lifeless body in horror.

“I didn’t...I-” His eyes were wide and fresh waves of fear were rolling through the bond. “I don’t understand what just happened.”

“What just happened is you shot Gwen.” Samuel growled and shoved past Dean. “I should have exterminated you when I had the chance.” You, Bobby, and Rufus all stepped forward, blocking the patriarch’s access to the trembling switch. Sam took a few shaky breaths and ran from the room. Dean cursed and the two of you took off after him. You found the switch curled up in a ball in a corner. When he saw you, he crawled forward on his knees and pressed his face into your stomach.

“It’s getting worse now. I’m not just seeing Lucifer. I saw a nasty...something...come out of my head!” You pet his hair while he cried. The switch was drowning in guilt and confusion and you yearned to soothe him. As your fingers passed through his hair again, you felt a strange wet sticky substance.

“What the…?” You tilted his head and looked at his ear where a viscous black goo was dripping out. “Uncle Bobby!”

  
  


Once Rufus and your uncle had established that the goo coming from Sam matched what they had found in the killer’s ear at the morgue, it was easy to determine that the goo had something to do with Sam shooting Gwen. It had been a strange sort of relief to know that Sam had lost control of his body again. At least this way you knew that he wasn’t dangerous. The switch was also pleased that the goo was real, proving that he hadn’t gone completely crazy.

“So something crawled into your head and made you shoot Gwen?” You tipped your head back in thought. “And our perp from before had the same gunk in his ear… Monster possession?”

“Doesn’t that sound like fun?” Rufus snorted. “Some rage bug that gets in your brain… I’m starting to think you’re cursed Bobby. Whenever you’re around, the crazy triples.”

“I think the real question is, where’s the rage bug now?” Your uncle glanced at all of you in turn. “Could be in any one of us.”

  
  


The six of you all eyed each other warily. You had agreed to put your weapons down on the table in the middle of the room while you figured out a solution. Rufus and your uncle were calling all of their contacts while Dean and Samuel paced on opposite sides of the room. You sat next to Sam on the floor, holding his hand tight in yours. Every once in a while, Dean would stride over to the two of you and offer a pinched smile. It was during one of these passes that Samuel made his move, slipping out of the room. As he opened the door, you saw him scratch at his ear, finger stained black.

“Hey!” You leapt to your feet and chased after him, snatching your revolver off the table. Dean followed close behind. The old man was surprisingly quick and it took a few minutes to find him, Dean losing track of you as you weaved through the rooms. Eventually, you caught up to find Samuel lurking near some dusty machinery. “Nowhere left to go dickhead.” He raised an eyebrow.

“What are you going to do whore? You really think you can take me out?”

“I like my chances.” You raised your gun, pulling back the hammer. “Have fun in Hell.” Pulling the trigger and watching Samuel fall was bizarre. You had fantasized about that moment for so long that when it happened, it didn’t feel real. Every time you had killed in the past you had felt remorse but this time it was only sick satisfaction. There was a sort of poetic justice to the slimeball being killed by a lowly submissive and you took a moment to relish the feeling. You didn’t come back to yourself until you heard your uncle’s voice behind you.

“(Y/N) drop the gun.”

  
  


“I’m not sorry.” You met the suspicious gazes of the four men staring at you. “I don’t have any rage bugs in my brain but I am happy he’s dead.” Dean grimaced.

“You’re not doing the best job of sounding innocent babydoll.”

“He had the bug in him! I saw him scratching his ear when he left the room!” 

“He’s clean now.” Rufus pulled back from examining the patriarch. “Only way to know for sure that the monster is in him is to open things up.” 

You and the boys were kicked out of the room while Rufus and Bobby went to work checking the insides of Samuel’s head. Dean examined your wrists, checking that the zip-tie handcuffs weren’t cutting into your skin.

“I’m proud of you sweetheart.” He grinned wryly. “Couldn’t say that with the dads listening but you did the right thing.” You blushed.

“Hopefully my being an actual murderer now will help you get past your delusion of me being some sweet and innocent flower.” Sam snorted and kissed your cheek before Dean tugged your chin so you were looking straight into his eyes.

“(Y/N) I don’t care what you do, you’re always going to be my sweet  _ good  _ girl.” You were about to argue the point when several crashes made the three of you rush to the door. 

You got there just in time to see the decidedly undead Campbell attacking Rufus. Your uncle shoved the older man against a wall and sparks flew through the air. Samuel’s body jerked erratically and a long black worm oozed out from his ear, dropping to the floor. Dean rushed to check on Rufus while Sam freed your wrists. 

“Everyone okay?” Bobby watched as each of you nodded. “Anyone see where that thing went?” When none of you answered he sighed. “Balls…”

  
  
  


Being electrocuted sucked. Even Sam, who was more of a masochist than he cared to admit, was less than excited about the process. He kissed the burn mark left on your arm while Dean tied your uncle to a chair You hid your face in Sam’s neck while your dom questioned the monster inside Bobby’s body, flinching every time he grunted in pain. By the time the creature slid out of your uncle’s ear, shriveled up and dead and joining the other bodies left on the floor you were sobbing, wanting nothing more than to just go home.

  
  


 

 

  
  


Dean shot another thoughtful glance at you in the rearview mirror. You had been silent the whole drive back and he was growing concerned.

“You know you don’t have to pretend.” You looked up in surprise and he smiled gently. “Not with us anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“You killed someone today (Y/N). He may have been a piece of shit and he may have had a monster in his head but it’s still not an easy thing to live with.” You bit your lip and turned to look out the window. “I know you aren’t an innocent little girl anymore but you don’t have to be a stone cold killer either.” Sam nodded and twisted around to look straight at you.

“Having emotions means that you’re human. We still think you’re a badass.” Your lips quirked up in a smile and the boys felt a bubble of bittersweet relief from your end of the bond. It was true that as much as you hated Samuel, you still felt icky about killing a human being.

“Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

 

The boys agreed to stop at a motel for the night rather than try and drive all the way back to South Dakota. Sam made it about halfway through his dinner before falling into another Lucifer-induced fit.

“Shit…” Dean dropped his burger and moved Sam to one of the beds. “It’s okay sweet boy, you’re okay. You’re in a motel with me and (Y/N). It’s just the three of us in here, nobody else. You’re safe Sammy.” As you watched Dean rock his brother slowly, guiding his hands to the amulet around his neck, you felt a pang in your heart. The episodes were only getting worse and you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“Dean-” You stopped before finishing the plea, knowing this was the wrong time to bring up Gabriel’s offering. The dom caught the tail end of your thought and sighed, pressing his face against the top of Sam’s head. You cautiously approached the bed, crawling under the arm he lifted invitingly and snuggled up to your boys. Sam had gone to a place neither you nor Dean could reach and there was nothing left to do now but wait it out.

About an hour later, Sam came back into awareness with a gasp. You let him pin you down to the bed, knowing by now that the switch was always extra physical after a hallucination. He needed to be with you and Dean. Needed to feel and see and touch and taste what was real to replace the illusions he had been trapped in. Sam tugged impatiently at the shirt you had stolen from his bag to use as pajamas.

“Off” he grunted, groaning in delight when you followed the orders. You moaned when he attached his mouth to a nipple, wriggling under his hold. Above you, Dean chuckled.

“Uh-oh it looks like you’re in for it now sugar.” The dom’s voice seemed to remind Sam of his other soulmate’s presence and he sat up, grabbing at Dean’s hair and pulling him in close. “Easy Sammy… You can have us baby boy just calm down a little bit for me okay?” 

You had shimmied out of your panties while Sam was distracted and hummed in interest as you watched your boys together, a hand slowly making its way down between your legs. Sam always kissed hungrily and Dean reciprocated with the same intensity making for a delightful show. You inhaled sharply when the pad of your middle finger met your clit, not having realized how turned on you already were. The sound drew the brothers’ attention and they turned wide eyes to you.

“Damn…” Dean breathed. “Isn’t that a pretty sight Sammy?” The switch nodded and you blushed under the attentions, pulling your hand away.

“Don’t stop.” Sam grabbed your wrist and guided your hand back down. “Show us how you make yourself feel good.” Biting your lip, you nodded and dipped two fingers inside your pussy, gathering some of your wetness to drag back up and over your clit. You arched your back as you rubbed in slow circles, other hand drafting up to toy with a nipple. You could feel the boys’ eyes on you like a physical touch and it was both embarrassing and arousing. A groan fell from Sam’s lips and you opened your eyes-not realizing you had shut them- to see the switch pulled tight against his brother’s chest while Dean stroked him slowly. When the dom saw you watching, he winked and bit Sam’s neck.

“Look how hard you made Sammy… Such a naughty girl.” He punctuated the statement by twisting his hand at the next upstroke, making Sam whine. “I wonder who can cum first… Should we find out?”

Challenge accepted, you bent your knees and leaned up on one elbow, changing your touch from teasing to a true attempt at chasing an orgasm. The shift in intensity caused you to let out a long moan which Sam quickly echoed. Dean kept working Sam, murmuring encouragements to both of you. You ended up winning but only barely as seeing you squirm under your own touch sent Sam to completion. Dean was quick to bring his hand up to his mouth, licking up his brother’s cum and you bit your lip. That sight was far more arousing than it had any right to be. Dean picked up on your interest and scooped up more cum from Sam’s belly so you could suck it off his fingers.

“Good girl (Y/N)... just like that…” He kissed Sam’s cheek before helping the sated switch lie back then opened his arms towards you. “You ready to go again baby?” You hummed an affirmative, letting him pull you closer to straddle his lap. “Alright kitten, you know what to do.” His cock slid in easily with how wet you had become and he hissed as you began rocking against him. The angle was doing  _ very  _ good things for you and your moans were embarrassingly loud. Dean brushed the hair from your face and gazed fondly into your blown pupils. “Is that nice sugarplum? You’re making me feel so good.” He slid a hand down between your bodies to rub your clit, delighting in how your moans increased in pitch. “I bet that’s even better isn’t it sweetheart? You’re such a good girl for me. Look at how pretty you are.” You could feel Sam’s eyes on you, the switch captivated by the sight in front of him.

“Fuck you two are gorgeous…” Dean’s cheeks grew pink at Sam’s comment and you chuckled at how your dom had no problem spitting out all kinds of filth to you and Sam but became bashful when the praises were turned his direction. Feeling yourself spiraling closer to another peak, you grabbed the back of Dean’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as the two of you moved against each other. The fluttering of your walls around him when you came sent him into his own orgasm and he groaned into your mouth. You heard Sam whine before the switch grabbed your hips and yanked you off his brother, laying you out on the bed so he could lick your dom’s cum out of you.

“Ahhhh Saaaammmmyyyyy!!!!” You grabbed Dean’s hand and squeezed it hard as your other soulmate kept sucking and licking until you couldn’t take anymore and pushed his face away. Dean dropped a kiss on your and Sam’s foreheads before getting up and grabbing a cloth to clean everyone off with.

  
  
  


Later that night, as you lay curled up together, Dean spoke into the safe darkness of the room.

“You two still want to try that spell?”

“Really?” You spoke softly as if talking about it too loud would make Dean change his mind.

“Yeah really.” Contentment ran through the bond and the three of you went back to silence. As you were drifting off, you heard Sam’s quiet whisper.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so because you're a semi-captive audience, I'm gonna tell you a stupid thing about my life...
> 
> Low-key considering inviting Misha Collins to my wedding. I met my fiancee on OkCupid and I only clicked on his page because of his fucking ridiculous profile picture (it involved a stuffed sheep, screaming, and a kilt made out of dyed slices of cucumber). Turns out that picture only exists because of GISHWHES. So really, if it weren't for Misha I never would have met my soulmate.


	28. Sharing is Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader uses Gabriel's spell and it has some unexpected consequences. Dean takes care of his subs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that it took so long to get this one out! I've been really busy (I got my wedding dress last night!) and this chapter was weirdly hard for me to write. I'm mostly happy with how it turned out though? I appreciate all of your patience and hope that Made for You was enough to tide you over.

_The bruise on your hip immediately let you know that this was no ordinary dream._

_“So you got Grumpy Gus to agree?” Gabriel clapped his hands in mock delight. “It only took him about twenty years to come around.”_

_“Cut the crap Gabriel.” You sighed. “Castiel said he should have everything we need tomorrow so we’ll do the spell then. Got any last minute advice?”_

_“Actually yes.” The archangel met your eyes with complete seriousness. “After the spell is done you’re going to need chocolate. Lots of it.”_

  


“Don’t kill me for asking but is it that time of the month?” Bobby eyed the shopping basket full of chocolate bars, cookies, ice cream, and pudding you were carrying. You laughed and shook your head, stretching on your tiptoes to reach a box of cocoa puffs from the top shelf. Your fingers stopped just a hair away from the desired item and you huffed in irritation. Just as you got ready to jump for it, you heard a chuckle and saw a large hand reach out and snag the box.

“Here you go babe.” Sam kissed your forehead and you smiled at him, sending a bubble of sheepish gratitude. Dean came over from the other side and took the increasingly heavy basket out of your hands, squinting at the contents.

“Got a craving?”

“Gabriel said that we’re going to need a buttload of chocolate.” You grabbed a box of fudge poptarts. “I’m not sure why but I don’t want to mess this up so I’m not taking any chances.”

  


Later that afternoon, you were putting the final touches on your spell. It required a lot of complex rune work, all done in Sam’s blood and the coppery smell of it was making you dizzy. Dean came in just as you were lighting the last candle.

“You almost ready to go babygirl?” You looked up to see your dom followed by Castiel. The angel had agreed to be present for the spell, offering to try and help if things went awry.

“I think so…” You took one last look at the set up and nodded. “I just hope I don’t screw this up.”

“You won’t. I have complete faith in you, (Y/N).” Castiel’s reassurance was surprising since the angel had spoken multiple times about your lack of any real skill. The sentiment was soon lost however when he leaned over to whisper loudly to Dean. “I have noticed that humans respond well to encouragement, even when it is false.”

With that vote of confidence, you called Sam in and began the spell. Enochian words fell from your lips, the low tones buzzing in your throat. As you continued the chant, you used your pointer finger to draw more symbols down Sam’s bare chest. Like before, your eyes began glowing with a gold light and a high pitched ringing filled the room. Sam gasped and arched his back as the runes you had drawn on him lit up with the same golden glow. Just as the ringing and brightness grew too much to bear, everything stopped. There was a loud clamouring, as if several flocks of birds had all taken off at once before a crash signaled the landing of one unconscious and very naked archangel on the floor.

 

* * *

 

 

Gabriel was alive. Or he was at least breathing. Unfortunately, that seemed to be about all he could or would do. Dean’s surprised shout at his arrival had no impact on the sleeping archangel. Even Castiel could not wake Gabriel. After covering him with a blanket (moreso for modesty than warmth), you began cleaning up.

“How do you feel Sammy?” Dean had moved his brother into an armchair and was studying the switch. “Do you think it worked?”

“I’m not sure.” Sam said. “How would we know?”

“I guess we just wait and see if Lucifer ever shows up again.” You looked over at the newcomer. “So that's a surprise. I didn't realize this spell was a two-fer. Cas did you notice anything when you looked it over that would explain this?” The angel shook his head. “Okay… So what do we do with him?”

Gabriel was dressed in some of Sam’s workout clothes and moved to a spare bedroom that was, at Dean's insistence, covered in enochian sigils that would keep him contained. Castiel agreed to stand guard over the archangel and let you know as soon as he woke up. Your uncle was less than thrilled about the new roommate and you couldn't help feeling guilty since you were the one who let him in. He waved off your apology though, saying that if this was the price to pay for Sam regaining his sanity, he wasn’t going to complain.

Archangel safely locked up, you and your boys went out to your favorite place in the world.

“Was this really your heaven?” Dean picked at the chipping paint on the armrest of the porch swing. “All of the possible places and you choose this piece of crap swing?” You blushed and pulled your knees up to your chest.

“Of course this was my heaven.” You looked up at your dom through your lashes. “This is where I realized that I was in love with you.” Surprise filtered through the bond and you ducked your head to avoid looking at your soulmates. Long fingers touched your cheek and Sam coaxed your eyes up to his.

“Do you have any idea how cute you are?” You snorted and rolled your eyes before leaning up to give the switch a kiss. He smiled against your lips, grabbing your waist and tugging you into his lap. Dean’s approval echoed through your mind and you grinned. You loved that something that made you so happy also pleased your dom. It was right up there with being called a good girl for orgasming in terms of win-win scenarios.

The late December air was chilly but the boys cuddled you close and kept you warm. You were exhausted after the spell and stayed curled up under thick blankets with your boys, napping off and on until the sun began to set and a thunderstorm rolled in. Sam squeezed you tight every time a rumble of thunder or flash of lightning caught you by surprise. It seemed like the spell had worked, though you were afraid to say it out loud and jinx it. Not only had Sam remained lucid all day, but the switch’s end of the bond felt much clearer, the muddiness and tangles gone.

At Dean’s beckoning, Sam stood and carried you up to bed. The older brother got you and Sam both dressed in pajamas and kissed each of you before cuddling in on Sam’s other side.

 

Gabriel was still dead to the world the next morning. Your uncle had left before sunrise on a fishing trip, not wanting to deal with your attempts at comforting him about Rufus’ death so you and the boys had most of the house to yourselves. Dean decided to take advantage of the relative privacy, hand feeding you and Sam again before moving into the den and watching his brother finger you on the couch. When the switch kept playing with you after you had reached the point of overstimulation, Dean came to your defense and distracted Sam with a very thorough blowjob. You decided to show your gratitude with a similar action and swallowed your dom down. Suffice to say, the three of you were fairly distracted so it wasn’t that unreasonable for none of you to notice that you weren’t alone.

“Well don’t you kids know how to have a good time?” Dean nearly choked you when he started in surprise. “Oh don’t stop now! You were just getting to the good part.” You looked up in horror at the doorway where a sheepish Castiel was trying and failing to contain a smirking archangel.

  
  
  
  
  


Dean didn’t blush often and normally, you would embrace the opportunity to make fun of your dom for his pink cheeks. Unfortunately, you shared his mortification. You had never imagined that two angels would walk in on you blowing a guy who was blowing his own brother and now that it had happened, you were utterly unprepared.

Castiel had managed to yank Gabriel out of the doorway long enough for you and the boys to get re-dressed. Now the three of you were fidgeting in rumpled clothing and avoiding eye contact with your heavenly roommates.

“Gabriel is awake.”

“Thanks Cas, we know.” Dean groaned. “How did he get out of the warding?”

“You should check your sources Deano. Those wards weren’t even strong enough to keep a cupid in the room.” Gabriel chuckled and plopped down on an armchair. “So how are things going here? Other than the sex, I mean because I know that’s been good.” He grinned at you. “(Y/N) certainly has no complaints.”

“How would you know?” The angel smirked.

“We’re connected sugar. Don’t worry, I’m strong enough now that I can separate from you but I’ve definitely come along on some bedroom adventures.” Dean looked like he was going to be sick.

Sam cleared his throat. “Things have been less than great.”

“Yeah no thanks to you!” Dean was glaring at the archangel. “Where the hell were you during the big fight? We really could have used your help but instead you decided to go hide away again.”

“Hey dickwad, I would have been there if I could.” Gabriel’s face was stony. “In case you forgot, I wasn’t really in fighting condition. Lucifer stabbed me, remember?”

“You said you were dead.” Sam frowned. “Why did you lie?”

“Because you two needed the push. There was no way I would be ready to go in time to stop the showdown so I told you what you needed to hear.” Gabriel shrugged. “It all worked out in the end, didn’t it? You two saved the world, Sammy’s got his soul and his sanity back, and your girl is alive and well. I don’t understand the hostility.”

“Why are you here now?” Sam asked, ignoring the archangel’s nonchalant attitude. “If you were so weakened before, what changed to make you suddenly able to appear?”

“That’s all thanks to your soulmate.” Gabriel winked at you. “I needed help from a witch.” Sam frowned and tilted his head.

“(Y/N)’s not a witch.” You blushed, realizing that while Dean knew about your recent forays into magic, Sam was still unaware.

“Actually…” You smiled apologetically. “I may have dabbled a bit.” Disapproval echoed through Sam’s end of the bond and you bit your lip. “If it helps, I’m not doing anything evil.” Sam shook his head.

“You might not be casting malevolently but witchcraft is still bad news, (Y/N). Don’t you know where witches get their power? They get it from demons!”

“Not necessarily.” Gabriel piped up. “Some witches do have demonic sponsors but that’s not the case for all of them. (Y/N) here is a lovely example of a natural witch. Magic’s just a part of her which meant my grace could hitch a ride on her pixie dust and piggyback on your healing spell.”

“So what do you want now?” Sam eyed the archangel suspiciously. Gabriel pursed his lips in thought.

“I believe I had instructed (Y/N) to get some chocolate?”

  
  
  


With Gabriel gorging himself on chocolate, you convinced the boys to go for a walk. It had snowed a bit the night before and Dean grumbled about the cold. You knew that he wasn’t actually upset though, as there was a playfulness in his eyes. The trek started out as a fairly romantic affair with the three of you huddling together for warmth and admiring the wintery scene around you. This mood was spoiled however when, as you and Sam were talking softly to each other, Dean pelted several snowballs at his brother’s head. The attack served as a declaration of war with you and Sam teaming up against your dom. By the time the three of you stumbled back to the house, you were freezing but giddy.

Seeing the snow and mud and twigs in your and Sam’s hair, Dean decided that a hot shower was in order. Usually showers as a group turned into sex of some sort but this time, your older dom was hesitant due to what Gabriel had said about tagging along on bedroom adventures.

“Dean it's not fair!” Your pouting face probably didn't go well with your dripping hair and arms crossed over your breasts. “You can't put me in front of wet naked Winchesters and tell me I can't touch!”

“I want to touch you too babydoll but I'd rather not have an audience.” Dean was trying and failing to sound stern. His voice cracked when you lowered your arms and bared your breasts. You turned wide imploring eyes to your other soulmate.

“Sammy you won't leave a girl hanging, right?” The tall switch smirked and backed you up to the tile wall.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Dean’s resolve lasted about 90 seconds. Once you and Sam started getting hot and heavy, the dom couldn’t stay away. He pressed himself against Sam’s back, propping his chin on his brother’s shoulder so he could watch your breath hitch when Sam slotted a long leg between yours, giving you something to rub against.

“Is that nice sweet girl?” He cooed, running calloused fingertips down your cheek. “Good boy Sammy, taking such good care of her.” The switch grunted and lowered his hands to the tops of your thighs, nudging you to hop up and wrap your legs around his waist. Despite not being touched at all, Dean moaned the loudest when Sam slid into you. “Damn you two are going to kill me.” You chuffed a bit, pulling away from Sam’s mouth to grin at Dean.

“Not so worried about an audience now?” Your smirk died quickly though, turning into a dropped jaw as you sank further against the wall, toes curling in bliss. “Fuck Sam…”

“That’s the idea.” _Seriously?_

  
  


* * *

 

 

As the three of you were dressing, Sam frowned at your bare neck. He didn’t like you being unclaimed but he wasn’t sure if he could give up the collar now. Catching the tail end of his thoughts, you looked up.

“You don’t have to give it up Sam. I told you that I was giving it to you.” Sam ran his fingers down the leather cord and shook his head.

“I don’t want it. Not if it means that you don’t have a collar.” You could feel that Sam didn’t completely believe that though. The switch was trying to conceal it but he was fighting back panic at the idea of losing his collar. Dean cleared his throat.

“No one said anything about (Y/N) not having a collar.” He grinned. “I think we should go shopping.”

  


Shopping was exhausting. You knew that collars came in a multitude of styles but you hadn’t truly realized how vast the selection would be. The three of you went to every store in the mall, unable to agree on a collar you all liked. Sam seemed drawn to more utilitarian options, liking the idea of a loop or ring he could attach things to if he wanted to tie you up. Dean on the other hand kept pausing at the jeweled day collars, ignoring your insistence that you didn’t need diamonds or other expensive frills.

At least the boys were finding things they liked. Back when you were younger, you had all kinds of ideas about what you wanted your future collar to look like. Now though you couldn’t help comparing everything you saw to what was around Sam’s neck. The amulet wasn’t feminine or traditional but it carried a sentimental value that was worth more than the gold and diamonds Dean wanted to drape you in. You didn’t want another collar, you wanted your collar... but you didn’t want to take it from Sam either. Feeling your growing frustration, Dean shooed you and Sam away with instructions to find a thicker quilt for the bed since you had complained about being cold lately. Forty minutes later, he sent a text to Sam asking for the two of you to meet him back at the car when you were done. He held no shopping bags or boxes and just smiled secretively when you asked him if he had found something.

It wasn’t until you had returned to the house and curled up on the porch swing that Dean shared his solution.

“It seems like both of you want this collar and I don’t think anything will replace it.” You both nodded slowly, wondering where he was going. He reached in his pocket. “So we don’t replace it. You two can both have it.” He pulled out a knife and your confusion only rose.

“Dean what are you going to do?” Sam clutched at the amulet, eyeing the blade warily. “You can’t just saw this in half.” The older brother rolled his eyes and reached out, loosening the slipknot and pulling the necklace off of Sam’s neck.

“I know that Sammy. But the leather can be cut, right?” He tugged the cord, undoing the knot and sliding the amulet off, handing it to you for safekeeping. “This cord seems like it’s too long for (Y/N). I think if we cut it shorter, there would be enough left to make you a cuff.” He measured out how much would be needed for you and nodded to himself. “And don’t worry, I checked. Collars don’t necessarily have to go around your neck to work. Cuffs can do the same thing” Green eyes shone with nervousness as the dom looked back and forth between the two of you. “Does that sound okay?” You and Sam glanced at each other, sharing a silent conversation before the switch spoke.

“That sounds perfect Dean. Thank you for finding a solution.” The dom looked down, trying to hide his blush as he went to work cutting the leather cord and threading the amulet back on before using what was left to make a braided cuff for Sam’s wrist. He re-tied slipknots on both before placing the new collars on his subs.

“Of course Sammy. It’s my job to take care of you two.” He tapped the cuff on his brother’s wrist. “Does that feel the same?” Sam traced his thumb over the braided leather and you gasped, almost certain that you could feel your own collar humming with energy at the contact. The younger Winchester met your eyes and smiled.

“It feels even better. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of mad at myself tbh because there's a thing that I wanted so badly to put in this chapter but I don't think I can actually write it without triggering some ptsd issues. That's a big chunk of what held this back and also why it's so short.
> 
> We're almost at Chapter 31 which is already my favorite. I've written a bunch of that one and am obsessed with it. 
> 
> And I know that the smut has been less than great lately but 30 will be almost completely smut.


	29. Not On My Turf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gives the boys the best gift they've ever received and while Dean is living his cowboy adventure, she does some ass-kicking of her own. Gabriel is sassy but supportive and Castiel is tired of lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Classes started again this week and it looks like I've continued my super responsible tradition of writing fanfiction in code in my notebook during class. Hopefully we won't continue the tradition of translating that code later when I'm high on sleep meds because that's no fun for anyone.  
> No smut this time. Lots planned for the next chapter though. As always, thank you for reading and responding. Your comments feed my soul!

The three of you were lounging in the den, enjoying the warmth of the fire Dean had built. After a few moments of content silence, you decided to bring up something that had been on your mind.

“We should move.” Your soulmates looked up in surprise and you elaborated. “I got my mom’s house when she died. I know that you guys are into the nomad thing and that’s fine but maybe it could be our home base?” When neither brother responded, you felt panic start to bubble up in your chest and began rambling. “We totally don’t have to though. I could sell the house or we could rent it out to bring in some money or I could see if Uncle Bo-MFF!” Dean’s lips crashed into yours, effectively ending your nervous rant. He kissed you thoroughly and pulled away but before you could ask about the reaction, Sam threw himself at you, knocking you onto your back on the couch and kissing you even harder. Eventually, the younger brother let you go and you looked back and forth between your boys. “Wow… What did I do to earn that response?”

“You’re offering us a home.” Sam’s eyes were wide with awe. “We don’t live like this because we want to, (Y/N). Dean and I have wanted somewhere permanent to live for as long as I can remember.”

“It’s true.” Dean nodded. “When Sammy was four, he asked Santa for his own room.”

“I hope you guys like it. It's not huge and there's definitely some stuff that needs fixing but I think it could be nice. It's not too far from here either, only a four hour drive.” You smiled nervously at the switch who was still laying on top of you. “We could go check it out tomorrow if you want.”

“Sounds great kitten.” Dean smiled and reached out to smack Sam’s ass playfully. “You two look good like this.” Sam rolled his eyes but lifted his hips up to wiggle enticingly. 

“Alright, let's calm down.” Your uncle said, raising his eyebrows at the scene he had walked in on. Sam shot up and grinned sheepishly. 

“Sorry Uncle Bobby.” You gave him your best innocent smile as you stood. “You won't have to put up with this much longer though. I was just talking to the boys about moving to my mom's house in Woodbury.” The older hunter hummed in acknowledgement.

“Can't say I won't miss having you kids around. You'll come visit?” You nodded and he grinned. “And if these idjits ever give you any grief, you've always got a room here.”

“Thank you Uncle Bobby.”

“We will be departing as well.” The four of you looked up to see Castiel and Gabriel in the doorway. “I must return to heaven and Gabriel has secured a place to live while he rests.” Seeing the suspicious look in all of your eyes the archangel sighed.

“What? I can’t be alone now?” he rolled his eyes. “You do realize who I am right? You can’t really tell me what to do.”

“Watch us.” Dean’s gruff reply made Gabriel raise his eyebrows and he sighed again before turning to you.

“How about this; (Y/N), remember how I said that we’re connected?” You nodded slowly, feeling Dean’s stomach turn at the reminder. “Well I’ve turned things off but if you want, I could create a link in your mind. It would be like a toned-down version of what you have with Chip’n’Dale over here except you have complete control. You can check in on me whenever you want.”

“Why would you agree to that?” You frowned. “It seems like an awful lot for you to offer me.” Gabriel smiled and walked over, draping an arm over your shoulders.

“Just consider it a thank you for getting me back on my feet.” Noticing how annoyed Dean was by Gabriel touching you, the archangel smirked and pressed a noisy kiss to your cheek before nudging you into Sam’s arms. “Go on you crazy lovebirds!”

  
  


* * *

 

 

Dean frowned into the rearview mirror again. Sam was in the passenger seat of the impala but you were missing from the back, having taken your own car so that you could move both vehicles to the house. While the logic was sound, Dean couldn’t help feeling unhappy about having you out of his or Sam’s sight for such a long amount of time. He continued prodding at the bond to make sure you were okay. His brother was doing a bit better, listening to some kind of podcast with a pair of earbuds. 

You weren’t struggling much either. It was a rare opportunity to have complete control over the music playing in the car and you indulged in some shitty bubblegum pop songs since the boys weren’t there to tease you. After the two hour mark though, you were starting to feel lonely and turned your music down so you could call Sam. The switch had also started feeling restless, claiming that the car wasn’t full without you in it.

Needless to say, the three of you were relieved when you finally arrived at the house. This was the first time either of the boys had really seen it (apart from when Dean dropped you off before heading out to lock up Lucifer) and you were a little nervous. As you led them up the steps to the door, Dean tapped your shoulder.

“Well there’s one thing we have to fix.” Dread ran through you before he nodded towards the end of the porch. “I think a swing would look great there.” You blushed and fumbled for the keys.

“It might be a little dusty. I haven’t been here since meeting up with Dean.” As the brothers walked through the entryway and into the living room, you bit your lip nervously. “Like I said, it’s not the fanciest house ever but I think we could be cozy here. There are three bedrooms which is nice but there are a couple of things that we’ll need to deal with. The second bathroom has plumbing issues and I think there’s something wrong with the dryer hookup. Plus the backyard is in desperate need of weeding.” You eyed your soulmates carefully, waiting for their reactions.

“Sweetheart it’s perfect.” Dean was smiling bigger than you had ever seen before. Sam wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Give us the grand tour.”

  
  


“Here’s the first bedroom. It was mine when I was a kid so it’s a little childish but we could maybe use it as a guestroom.” You cringed at the pastel pink walls, the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling, and the shelf full of stuffed animals. Sam walked into the room and picked up a box from the top of the dresser. When he lifted the lid, a little plastic ballerina began turning and a tinny version of Clair de Lune played. Embarrassment flew through you, accidentally hitting the boys and Dean squeezed your hand.

“Relax kitten, we know you aren’t a child.” 

Eager to move on, you opened the door to the currently unusable bathroom. It was a huge space with counters lining every wall.

“Is this the one that has plumbing problems?” Sam asked. You nodded and he tilted his head. “Honestly, I think we should take this as an opportunity to gut the whole thing and redesign it. There’s enough space in here for a huge shower and tub.” Lust slid over from Dean’s end of the bond as the older brother was apparently pleased with the idea.

After showing your doms the master suite, there was only one room left. You paused at the door, nervous about its contents. Sam sent a pulse of questioning and placed a hand on your back, making you sigh. 

“So this is technically the third bedroom. That’s not really what it’s been used for though.” You opened the door, expecting the boys to be horrified at the piles of spellbooks, ingredients for hex bags, rune charts, and other witchy paraphernalia sprinkled about. What you weren’t prepared for was silence.

“Wow…” Sam breathed out eventually. “This is...impressive.” He eyed a jar of suspicious looking somethings. “Were you planning to keep it this way?” You shrugged.

“Probably not. I’ve already taken out most of the stuff I wanted. At this point, we should probably just burn what’s in here. A lot of it is crap but there are a few legitimately evil books.” You looked up at a visibly uncomfortable Dean. “Sorry about all of this.”

“Babydoll you don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m just sorry you grew up with this shit right next to your bedroom.” The dom frowned. “Doesn’t seem like the best parenting.” You snorted.

“Right and you had a perfect childhood.” A strange emotion filtered over from Sam and you turned to see the switch grinning to himself. “What’s got you so happy?”

“I was just thinking of what we could do with this space... ” He smirked. “Dean and I have always wanted a playroom.” You shivered in anticipation. So far sex with your soulmates had been fairly vanilla but you knew that Sam especially had some kinks he wanted to explore.

“I love the way your mind works Sammy.” Dean’s low tone made you shiver again and you absently rubbed your thighs together, wondering if you could convince the boys to assist you with the problem they had created between your legs.

  
  
  
  


After some rather energetic sex (and damn you didn’t know that you could bend that way!), the three of you set out to get supplies for some of the fixes and renovations. Before heading to the hardware store, Sam catalogued everything wrong with the second bathroom and Dean inspected the faulty dryer hookup. You went through the house to check for smaller fixes that may be necessary. By the time you all crowded into your car (because it had more trunk space) there was a fairly long shopping list.

Dean pouted for the whole ride, having been relegated to the backseat. The dom preferred being in charge-no surprise given his biology-and sitting in the back meant he couldn't even work the radio or help with directions. You could feel the itchiness building in his mind and sighed, deciding that he could drive on the way back.

  
  
  


“Dean, look at this!” Sam shouted across the store. You looked up from the book of tile samples to see Sam playing with a bit of flooring. “It's squishy shower floors!” Arousal slammed into you from Dean's end of the bond and you felt delighted goosebumps on your arms. Cushioned floors meant you could spend long amounts of time on your knees… maybe you could convince your boys to do the same. It would be interesting to see if you could stay standing with Sam or Dean's face between your thighs. If the sharp uptick in lust was anything to go by, they certainly agreed.

Some of what you needed had to be ordered but the three of you gathered quite a bit of supplies to start making the home yours. Dean picked up silver-plated doorknobs to put on the exterior doors and Sam grabbed the materials necessary to build a firepit in the backyard. You were surprised at how much you were enjoying yourself given that you had always considered hardware stores fairly boring. When you vocalized that thought to Sam, the switch pointed out that you had never been shopping for items to personalize a home with your soulmates.

 

Supplies purchased, you crawled into the back and let Dean take over. He was pleased to be back in the driver's seat and honestly, you preferred to be a passenger anyway. Sitting in the back meant you could see both of your boys at once, something that never failed to make you feel safe. The bond thrummed with excitement as all three of you were thrilled to have a permanent home together. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

Against Dean’s better judgement, the three of you were picking apart your mother’s library. After all, given that there was a decent collection of information on evil it stood to reason that there might be something you could learn about Eve.

“I’ve got something!” You and Dean looked up at Sam’s excited voice. “According to this, the ashes of a phoenix can burn the mother.”

“Phoenix?” You frowned incredulously. “As in flaming birds? Are those even real?” Sam shrugged.

“It would seem that way. Now we just have to figure out where to find one.” You stood up from the floor and stretched.

“I’m going to call Uncle Bobby and see if he has any ideas.”

  
  
  


“This is a dumb idea.” You were in the living room on speakerphone with you uncle, listening to him and your doms discuss time travel as if it was a logical solution to the problem.

“To be fair, most of their ideas are pretty dumb.” You could almost hear Bobby’s sarcastic grin through the phone. “How exactly are you boys going to get back to 1861? I don’t think there’s a bus you can catch.”

“Cas sent me back in time before, I’m sure he could do it again.” Dean called for the angel who begrudgingly agreed and just like that, you were watching your soulmates prepare to play cowboy.

  
  


Dean’s enthusiasm was catching and the white shirt he had picked definitely looked good on Sam. Still though, you were less than thrilled about their plan.

“Remember, Cas said 24 hours. You two better come home or I’ll build myself a time machine and go back to kick your asses.”

“We love you too kitten.” Dean kissed your forehead and Castiel zapped them away. You felt a pang of sadness at the suddenly empty space in front of you. 

“I have to go. Pray for me in 24 hours.” Castiel disappeared before you could say anything else and suddenly you were alone. With nothing better to do, you grabbed your car keys and left to pick up groceries. You would get some vegetables into Dean if it was the last thing you did.

  
  
  
  


As you pulled up into the driveway you frowned. You exited the car slowly. The front door of the house (which you knew had been locked) was swung wide open. Cursing yourself for not stashing a weapon in your car, you slowly made your way into the house. There didn’t appear to be anyone else there but the opened cabinets and drawers proved that a break-in did occur. Nothing seemed to be missing though. All of the electronics were in their places and so was the silver. It wasn’t until you got upstairs that you realized what the burglar was after. The third bedroom had been picked clean.  _ Son of a witch... _

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


You rapped harder on Barbara Marshall’s front door. The rivalry between this bitch and your mother was legendary with your uncle having to intervene the last time they bumped heads. If anyone in the neighborhood wanted to raid her supplies, it was Barbara. There was still no answer and you sighed, making your way around the back. The last thing you needed was the old man across the street to catch you picking a lock. 

_ Well this is original… _ You rolled your eyes when a door hidden in the back of the basement took you to Barbara’s hideout. All of the items stolen from your house were in two boxes on the floor. Taking quick inventory, you noticed that she had sorted things based on usefulness with one box holding the kind of cheap crap you could find in any goth teenager’s bedroom and the other containing more valuable items. You were just about to take the good box and run when you heard a prissy throat-clearing.

“I don’t remember inviting you over (Y/N).” You stood slowly and turned to face Barbara. “Though it’s unsurprising that you share your mother’s poor manners.”

“Are you seriously lecturing me about manners right now?” You asked, giving her your patented bitchface. “Where does theft fall on the scale of etiquette? I don’t remember reading Emily Post’s guide to burglary.” The older woman sniffed dismissively at you.

“My dear, I was only doing what any good mother would. You’re far too young to be playing with toys like those. Best leave them with me.”

“Yeah… That’s not gonna happen.” You picked up the box of authentic materials. “I’m a big girl, Barb. I think I can handle these.” She raised a hand and shouted an incantation, sending you flying back against the wall.

“Don’t test me (Y/N).” You smirked. 

“Oh it’s on, bitch…” 

  
  
  
  


 

 

Gabriel was reclining on a delightfully squishy sofa eating chocolate mousse when he felt a tugging at his grace. Frowning, he sat up and followed the sensation to its origin. When he realized the force pulling at him was the bit of grace tied to you, he raised an eyebrow. It seemed like you weren’t calling for him, at least not on purpose. Realizing that you were funneling power from him to fuel your magic, he laughed.

“Didn’t expect that kiddo…” He didn’t have long to marvel though as less than twenty minutes later, you were calling him for real. He quickly flew to your location and saw you wide eyed and kneeling on the ground with a bloody Castiel in your arms.

“We need help.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


Hours later, Gabriel and a mostly healed Castiel were watching you hug your soulmates. Gabriel was able to retrieve Sam and Dean from the past as Castiel was weakened from his injury but it had done a number on his own recovery. As far as you and the boys were aware, the angels had left. Instead, Gabriel flew himself and his brother to stand invisibly on the porch looking through the front window.

“You gonna tell me what happened or do I have to beg? Gabriel turned disapproving honey eyes to his brother. “Why did Rachel stab you? I remember her being a bit of a tight-ass but never took her for the stabbing type.” Castiel didn’t answer, continuing to stare at the excited sparkle in Dean’s eyes as he held up the bottle of phoenix ash. “Cassie!” The seraph sighed and turned to face Gabriel. The archangel was surprised at how tired Castiel looked.

“In efforts to defeat Raphael I have had to make certain decisions. Rachel caught wind of these decisions and didn’t approve.”

“And what are those decisions?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Would I approve?” Castiel’s face crumpled and Gabriel let out a wounded noise when he realized just how lost the younger angel was. “Castiel what have you done?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for this chapter since it feels awkward and clunky. At this point it was either post it so that I can move on or just get mad at my computer screen.
> 
> Would you guys prefer more frequent updates with shorter chapters or longer chapters with more time in between?


	30. Announcement

**FURTHER UPDATE: Because this person seems hell-bent on continuing their bullshit, I've reinstated comment moderation. I'd rather not have to turn off anonymous commenting as I know some of the folks I talk to regularly don't have accounts. I apologize to everyone who is having to deal with this. I've gone ahead and removed the shit they posted.**

 

* * *

 

 

Woke up this morning to a barely coherent hate-filled rant from some rando and I wanted to at least briefly respond.

 

If it were generic hate, I probably wouldn't be doing this but because of the specific words used, I feel the need to say something.

This individual used mental illness as an insult and a weapon, something that I am NOT cool with. It's one thing to criticize my writing or my storyline, but to try and weaponize the stigma of mental illness is something far different.

 

I was diagnosed with depression as a young child. I can't remember a time without depression. I also have anxiety and tourette syndrome (just my luck that a disorder considered mostly for boys that they will grow out of is something I still deal with as an adult woman). I have faced many hateful people over the course of my life who have tried, as you this person has, to make me feel ashamed of these facets of my being.  
When I was nineteen, my father went missing for 4 days. Eventually, we found his body and realized that he had committed suicide (adding ptsd to my list of issues). The commenter asked if I have been hospitalized and indeed I have because a year later, I checked myself into the psych ward as I was about to do the same thing.

 

I share all of this not to gain sympathy but to demonstrate that issues of mental health are not shameful and should not be kept secret. There's no shame in having the conditions that I have or in taking the medications I take to be my best self. There's no shame in the fact that I surrendered control to medial professionals when I realized that I was no longer in a place where I could make healthy and safe decisions. There's no shame in asking for help. And, despite the fact that it was tragic and that I would go back and change it if I could, there's no shame in what my father did.

 

If this person is reading (which I doubt because I get the sense they just go around and troll any fic they please), I ask you to go take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror. The anonymity of the internet is a powerful and dangerous tool so I'm not sure if you are this hateful towards the people around you. Please understand that when you say things like this, you are telling those around you that you will not love and support them unless they fit a very narrow definition of what is acceptable in your eyes. I have developed a thick skin over the years and am at a place now where your words cannot hurt me but if I had seen this back when I was twenty, it would have been far more damaging. Hate and stigma like this is the reason people who need help don't feel safe reaching out. People like you are the reason I don't have a dad anymore.

 

I want to close this by sharing some resources that people should never feel ashamed of using.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255  
National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI)-Resource Page: https://www.nami.org/find-support/nami-helpline/top-25-helpline-resources  
National Institute on Mental Health (NIMH)-Resource Page: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/index.shtml  
Mental Health website: mentalhealth.gov


	31. Happy Birthday Mister Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of sex. Also some plot. But mostly sex.
> 
> Also apparently Dean bottoming squicks some people out so just a warning that Dean will be bottoming here. Not really sure why it's so much more offensive than Sam bottoming but consider this the warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank you guys for your kind words. I know things got kind of weird after the last chapter and I thought about taking down my response but I think it's important to keep it up. As I said there, I'm not ashamed of those aspects of my life and removing it feels like I'm trying to hide it. So basically, the chapter numbers are a little off now. I was talking a lot about being excited for number 31 but now it's 32.
> 
> Anyway-you are all beautiful and wonderful and amazing and I'm grateful to know that there are people like you in the world.
> 
> Also I know the format is a little weird here but just go with it.

Phoenix ash obtained, you and the boys-accompanied by Castiel and your uncle-set out to kill Eve. You had learned of her whereabouts from an old ally of your soulmates’. It had been strange meeting Lenore as she was the first vampire you'd encountered since your adventure as one. You wondered how loudly your heart was beating in her ears, if she could hear Dean's nervous swallow as a pounding echo. When Castiel killed her, it was almost bittersweet. Lenore's existence was likely agonizing and while you were sad that she had to die, you mused that at least now she could hopefully get some peace and quiet. Vampirism was a torture you wouldn't wish on your worst enemies… except maybe a Campbell.

For all the lead-up, Eve was surprisingly easy to take out. Her transformation into Mary Winchester pissed you off royally. Dean had tried his best to hide it, but you knew he was hurt by the idea of something so foul taking the appearance of someone he loved. Sam was more preoccupied by her claim that Crowley wasn’t dead after all. The implications were troubling. It wasn’t like Castiel to make a mistake but the monarch couldn’t be alive unless the wrong bones had been burned. The switch was suspicious of the angel’s true loyalties but Dean was steadfast in his refusal to believe Castiel could be working with a demon. A conversation needed to be had for sure but now wasn’t the time. You and Sam had something special planned for the next day and nothing was going to spoil the surprise.

  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean’s smile was one of your favorite sights in the world and you didn’t get to see it nearly as often as you’d like. Today was an exception to the rule as crinkles had stayed around those green eyes since the moment he woke. It was your oldest dom’s birthday so you and Sam had decided to make it the best day ever. You had started things off with a wakeup blowjob followed by breakfast in bed. Now you were curled up into Dean’s side, Sam on the other, while he ran gentle fingertips down the line of your spine.

“So I get whatever I want today?” You nodded and hummed happily.

“Within reason” Sam grinned at his brother. “I don’t think we could get you an elephant ride or anything like that.”

“No elephant? Damn!” Dean laughed. “Well I guess we’ll just have to go with the rest of my wishlist.” He stretched his hand down to squeeze your ass. “First rule for today-no clothes. Nothing but your collars. Does that sound okay?” Both of you nodded and stripped. “Much better…” He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at the two of you in thought. “You play for a minute, I need to go get something.” Curiosity bounced between you and Sam but Dean just winked and left the room.

“I wonder what he’s getting…” You mused. Sam shrugged and grabbed your arm, pulling you back to the bed.

“I’m not sure but I do know that we were given an assignment.” He ran a finger down from your bottom lip to a nipple, pinching the pebbled skin. “Let’s play.”

  


 

* * *

 

  


“Cassie please just tell me.” Gabriel frowned at the younger angel. He had dragged Castiel back to his hideout for questioning. The seraph huffed and kept his gaze fixed on the wall over Gabriel’s head. “Castiel…” Gabriel dropped to his knees in front of the chair his brother was seated in. Blue eyes widened in shock at the sight of such a higher being in supplication before him. “I want to help you.”

“Why?” The gravelly voice sounded remarkably young and Gabriel’s lips twitched into a sad smile.

“Let me worry about the why. Just tell me what’s happening little brother.”

“Alright… I’ll tell you everything.”

  


 

* * *

 

 

 

Dean stopped in the doorway on his way back in to watch his subs for a moment. You had Sam on his back, grinding your slit against the length of his dick while he moaned into your mouth. For what felt like the millionth time, he pinched himself, unable to believe that this was really his life. The barely there spark of pain caused both you and Sam to look over at the older Winchester.

“Don’t stop the show now.” He came in and sat down on the bed, tucking something behind his back. “It looked like you were just getting to the good part.” Unfortunately, Sam’s curiosity was in full force now and the switch wriggled out from under you to see what Dean had hidden. He blushed a bright pink, making you eager to find out what the secret was.

“What is it?” Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam, silently daring the switch to tell you. The younger Winchester swallowed the lump in his throat before answering.

“It’s a plug.” _Oh…_ Dean grinned and held the toy up for you to see.

“I thought it might be nice to have Sammy here ready to go whenever.” Your mouth went dry at the thought and your dom winked before pushing Sam back down on his back. “Let’s get you nice and opened up baby boy.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Gabriel let out a long, low, whistle. “Damn Cassie… I’m impressed. I knew you were a resourceful little thing but I never pictured you cozying up with demons or starting a war amongst our brothers and sisters.”

“It’s not something I ever imagined myself doing.” Castiel leaned against Gabriel. At first he had grumbled when the archangel shoved himself into the armchair as well but he had to admit that it was comforting to be so close to another of his kind. “Humans have a saying about desperate times. I believe it applies here. Raphael is incomprehensibly stronger than me.” Blue eyes bored deep into amber. “I have no other choice.”

“Wrong.” Gabriel ruffled the younger angel’s hair, making it even messier than normal. “You might not have had a choice before but that’s not true anymore. You’ve got me on your team now kiddo.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

  


Dean certainly enjoyed having Sam prepped to go all day. You had come back from a bathroom trip to find Sam bent over the arm of the couch, Dean driving into him harshly. When they saw you in the doorway, Sam beckoned you over and laid you along the length of the cushions so he could put those big fingers to use.

 

It wasn’t all mindless sex though. Dean was happy to watch some of his favorite movies with you and Sam kneeling contentedly at his feet while he pet your hair. Occasionally he would tug one of you forward to keep his cock warm in a wet mouth but more often than not, he was satisfied by just knowing that the two of you were safe and close by.

 

He had blushed when you and Sam handed him presents wrapped in sparkly paper. You hadn’t gotten him anything overly extravagant but gifts were such a rare commodity for the Winchesters that receiving anything was enough to make the dom’s heart stutter. He was reluctant to rip the paper, not wanting to spoil how pretty it all looked but after some gentle prodding, you and Sam were able to get him to open his gifts up. He smiled at the cassette tapes you had scrounged up to replace the ones he had that no longer worked (since he was too much of a curmudgeon to switch to digital music or even CDs) and the new shirts and socks. The thing that got the biggest smile though was a framed picture of the three of you cuddled up under blankets on the Singer house porch swing.

“Who took this?” He ran a finger down the edge of the frame, thinking back to the day that photo was taken. It was an old picture from back before Sam’s trip to Hell and he was surprised at how much younger all of you looked even though it hadn’t been that long ago.

“My uncle has snapped a few candids of us.” You grinned. “He’s a big softie.” Dean got up and put the photo on a shelf above the fireplace.

“Thank you.”

  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  


Castiel nervously led Gabriel to where he and Crowley had been meeting. The archangel remained invisible, watching as his brother struggled to sound confident and sure of himself.

“It’s over Crowley. I no longer require your assistance.” The demon king frowned incredulously.

“Really Castiel? You think you can do this without me? Without the souls?” He let out a barking laugh. “You can’t take big brother down. You need me sweetcheeks and the sooner you learn that, the easier all of this will be.”

“I do not need you. Not anymore. I have a more powerful ally.” Gabriel felt a spark of pride from the seraph’s trust in him. Crowley on the other hand was not convinced.

“A more powerful ally? Who? Not those bloody Winchesters?! You do know that I could snap them like a twig, yes? Raphael simply needs to blink and they die. Do I need to remove those distractions to keep you on track?” Castiel’s eyes flashed with rage and the angel advanced on the demon, slamming Crowley back against a wall.

“You will not touch the Winchesters. They are under my protection and you will not like what I do if I find that you have moved a single hair on their heads.” With that, Castiel turned and stormed out, Gabriel following close behind. What neither angel saw or heard was the calculating smile on the demon king’s face and the low drawl he let out.

“Alright fluffy, I won’t hurt the Winchesters. Not directly.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“11:27pm…” Dean grinned lewdly at you, though you felt a hint of nervousness underneath the show. “I’ve got just enough time left for the last thing I want.” The three of you were snuggled up in bed with Dean in the middle. The remnants of birthday pie you had baked for Dean sat on the nightstand and you were trading sugary kisses. Sam picked up on his brother's apprehension as well.

“What do you want Dean?” The dom let out a shaky breath.

“I want to be in the middle.” Shock rippled between you and Sam. You had never seen Dean bottom, assuming he just didn't like it. Now that you knew this was a possibility though, you were practically drooling. Sam always looked beautiful when he was stuffed full of cock and you were sure Dean would be just as gorgeous.

“Fuck…” From the sound of Sam's voice, he was thinking along the same lines. “You sure? You haven't had anything inside you for years now and doing both at once is really intense.” Nervous excitement raced through Dean and he licked his lips before nodding.

“You just looked so pretty when we did it before. You got me all jealous Sammy.” The younger brother blushed and ducked his head.

“Why haven't you bottomed in so long?” Dean flinched at your question and you immediately regretted asking. “Sorry, you don't have to tell me.”

“No it's fine.” Dean sighed. “I'm just embarrassed. It's not an issue of not liking it, I just… I don't know, it feels wrong? Which is stupid.” You made a soft sympathetic nose and curled closer to your dom, nipping his jaw affectionately.

“It's not stupid Dean. You're allowed to feel how you feel.” His arm tightened around your waist. “Why does it feel wrong? You think you can't bottom just because you're a dom?” Dean nodded, gaze firmly glued to the ceiling. “Well, Sam bottoms all the time. It doesn't make him any less my dom. And as much as I hate bringing up my parents in bed, my mother was a dom. Obviously she had to have been fucked by my dad in order for me to exist.” You wrinkled your nose at the mental image before shaking your head clear of that thought and refocusing on Dean. “It's just something that feels good right?” Dean squirmed and you felt shame and arousal twisting together inside his mind. _Oh…_ “Dean? Do you like that it feels wrong?” His blush darkened and you lifted your head to meet Sam’s gaze. The switch smirked and leaned in to whisper in his brother’s ear.

“I think you like being naughty, don’t you Dean? You like that people would talk.” He ran a large hand down Dean’s torso, fingers ghosting over trembling abs. “You want little brother to make you his bitch?”

“Fuck Sammy…” Dean rolled over and pinned a delighted Sam. “You’re lucky that you’re so cute.” Watching your boys, you stretched back sideways on the bed, letting your legs hang off the side. That position had seemed to work well when you and Dean made a Sam sandwich so it was probably the best plan for this new configuration. Clearing your throat, you spread your legs and winked at the Winchesters.

“Whenever you two are done…” Dean raised an eyebrow as he arranged himself over you.

“When did my sweet little girl get so sassy?” You giggled and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“I don’t know. You must have corrupted me.” Dean slid into you, leaning down to trail kisses across your face. He tensed when Sam brushed a lubed-up finger against his ass and you stroked a hand through his hair soothingly. “You okay?” He nodded and distracted himself by rocking slowly against you, keeping his thrusts shallow.

“Yeah I’m good. It’s just been a while.” Sam clearly knew what he was doing though as the discomfort quickly faded from Dean’s face and a barely audible moan fell from his lips. You grinned and squeezed yourself around him, loving the way his eyes rolled back ever so slightly. “You two are gonna be the death of me.” He growled out, pressing back against Sam as the switch added a third finger to the two already at work.

“There are worse ways to go.” Sam curled his fingers, making Dean gasp as he became reacquainted with his prostate. “Okay, I think you’re ready.” You held your breath as Sam pressed into his brother, feeling Dean’s cock twitch inside you. “Fuck Dean... “ The switch snapped his hips forward, pushing Dean back into you and all three of you gasped. “You still doing good? I know it’s a lot.” The dom growled and twisted his head around to glare at his brother.

“Sammy if you don’t fuck me I swear I will spank your ass into next week.” Taking that as all the permission he needed, Sam gripped Dean’s hips and set a hard rhythm. It had been a long time since Dean had felt anything like this and he didn’t last long, cumming quickly. He growled again though when Sam attempted to pull out. “Keep going, I want both of you to finish.” The broken sounds Dean made as Sam continued the onslaught were your undoing and you clawed at Dean’s shoulders as the orgasm ripped through you. Sam followed not long after, shouting out his brother’s name. After cleaning up, you and Sam helped a twitchy Dean to the middle of the bed so you could resume your position from the morning. Green eyes were struggling to stay open and you pressed a gentle kiss to your dom’s cheek.

“Goodnight Dean. Happy birthday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. It's shark week over here and all I want to do is eat and sleep and cry and fuck. By the way, I've discovered that "research for sex scenes" is a great way to get fiancee's support on my obsessive writing. Not that he wasn't supportive before but now he sees me typing and asks if I'm writing porn because that usually means that I'll jump him after. Hi, my name is nabooliola and I like to overshare.


	32. Family Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa sends an invitation to a very special event. Also some other shit happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here's the chapter I've been so so so so so excited about.  
> Which really means that I'm terrified everyone will hate it.
> 
> Also gratuitous amounts of finger-sucking because as much as I'm trying to keep this from being purely self insert there will be the occasional inclusion of shit that I like.

Sunlight danced across the sparkly green wrapping paper Sam had chosen for Ben’s gift. Lisa had invited the three of you over for Ben’s birthday party and you were excited. This year was a special one too. Ben was turning fifteen and, as was tradition, he would be opening the envelope with his blood test results at the party. It was an honor to be invited to such an important event and you were touched that Lisa had reached out. You knew that Dean had been thinking about the little family he lived with, worrying about how they were doing. The trip was also a welcome break from the tension at home. Shortly after Dean’s birthday, the three of you had discovered that Castiel was in fact in cahoots with the demon king and Dean was failing to hide how hard the betrayal stung. Since then, the three of you had been ignoring the angel. In the back of your mind, you could feel Gabriel trying to get your attention but you ignored him. While the wardings you had placed around the house didn’t quite keep the archangel out of your head, it at least kept him and Castiel from making any appearances.

“So what do you think his orientation is?” Sam had been pestering Dean with the question ever since you’d received the invite.

“Sammy, I’ve already told you that I don’t want to play the guessing game.” Your dom sounded irritated but you could feel that he wasn’t actually annoyed. “Ben is Ben. I don’t care what the test says.” They had been having the same conversation since leaving the house yesterday.

“Come on Dean that’s not even the question!” Sam groaned. “You’ve got to have some suspicion. You said that you knew what I was before the test came back.”

“That’s different. We’re soulmates. I might have an idea about Ben’s orientation but I don’t really know him well enough to be sure.”

“That’s a cop out and you know it!”

You leaned back into your seat, listening to your boys bicker. You couldn’t help thinking back to your own fifteenth birthday and how nervous you had been about opening the envelope. Pretty much everyone who knew you had guessed that the test would come back showing you as a submissive, you were pretty sure of it yourself. Still though, unfolding that piece of paper was terrifying and your heart went out to Ben.

  


By the time you arrived at the Braeden’s house, Dean had reached a level of actual annoyance. Sam’s curiosity got the better of him sometimes and once he had a question, it was hard to let it go unanswered. Needless to say, the dom was happy to get out of the car. As the three of you walked up the path to the house, you felt Sam send a pulse of apology. Dean grabbed his little brother’s hand and squeezed, showing the switch that he was forgiven.

 

Surprisingly, there weren't any friends or extended family there for the party. The only unfamiliar face was Lisa's new boyfriend, Matt. Seeing your confusion, Lisa explained that there was no extended family to speak of really. You weren't sure if that was better or worse for Ben. On the one hand, he would have a smaller audience when he opened his envelope which was less scary. On the other, there were fewer people to support and reassure him about the results. The boy seemed shy but it may have just been from nerves.

  
  
  


Ben’s hands shook as he broke the seal on his envelope. His eyebrows shot up into his hairline as he stared at the paper. After a few beats of tense silence, Matt cleared his throat.

“Well? What does it say?” He and Lisa leaned forward in anticipation. Ben opened his mouth a few times as if trying to speak before sighing and turning the paper around so everyone could read it.

 

**_Benjamin Braeden: Switch_ **

 

Shock rocketed through Sam’s end of the bond but Dean didn’t seem that surprised. In fact, he was radiating a kind of fatherly pride that made you inwardly swoon. Your dom was going to be the best dad when the three of you got around to making tiny people.

“That’s awesome, buddy! You get the best of both worlds!” He patted Ben on the back before happily digging into the piece of cake on his plate.

“Mom?” The teen’s voice was full of apprehension when he addressed his still-silent mother. “What do you think?” Lisa said nothing, getting up from the table and carrying dirty dishes into the kitchen. Ben’s face crumpled and he ran to his room, Matt following after him. Before you could react, Dean had already stood and beelined for the kitchen. You looked over at Sam with wide eyes. _Well that was unexpected…_

  


* * *

 

  


Dean leaned against the refrigerator and watched Lisa scrub a plate aggressively.

“You wanna tell me what just happened?” He asked. Lisa’s shoulders tensed but she gave no other indication of hearing him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have some kind of problem with Ben’s orientation.”

“I don’t.” She replied with a clipped voice. “I’m thrilled for him.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?” Her shoulders sagged and she turned off the faucet, turning and looking up at Dean with teary eyes.

“I’m a great mom, Dean. From the moment I got pregnant, I knew that I was on my own and I promised myself that I would be the best mother. I told you that it was Ben’s dad who died in that earthquake but I lied. I have no idea who Ben’s dad is. I tried to find a good guy to be a father figure but they all turned out to be shit and only lasted a year or two at most. I was in the PTA, I took him to scout meetings, I did everything right for that kid. I’ve been getting ready for this day for years now. Do you have any idea how many fucking books I’ve read on raising a dom or sub kid? But it never even occurred to me that he might not test as either. I prepped for everything but still failed him.” She sighed. “I have no idea what to do now. I was ready to get him a dog if he tested as a dom or help him find a job if he’s a sub but nothing that I’ve read tells you what to do with switches. All that I know is that he’s going to have a hard life now. You know I had a friend in high school who was a switch? Her parents tried to ‘fix’ her and she’s never been the same. People are going to treat him terribly and there’s no way to stop it from happening. What the hell am I supposed to do?” Dean stepped forward and pulled the woman into a tight hug.

“You keep doing what you’re doing. Just love him and support him because you are a great mom. Screw what the books say. If he wants a dog, get him a dog! You know your kid better than anyone else. And it’s not like how things were when we were kids anymore. People are a lot more accepting now. There’s tons of books out there about raising switches.” Lisa sniffled and pulled back.

“When were you reading parenting books?”

“I may have picked some up last year… I had a feeling this was how things were going to go and if I was here long term I wanted to make sure I was ready to help.” Dean was blushing and Lisa snorted.

“You know under all that macho bullshit, you’re a really sweet guy Dean…”

“Don’t go spreading it around.”

  
  


You and Sam sat awkwardly on the edge of the living room loveseat, waiting to see what would happen. You looked up at the sound of footsteps, seeing Matt trudging down the stairs.

“He won’t talk to me. Kid’s pretty torn up.” You smiled sympathetically as the man sat down in a nearby armchair. “I don’t really blame him though… Poor guy. I don’t know what I would have done if that’s what my paper said.” Sam tensed next to you and you put a hand on his knee.

“I think he’s not so much unhappy about his test results as he is about his mother’s reaction.” You said coldly, daring the man to spout some oreintationist bullshit. Matt shook his head.

“That’s probably true… But it’s kind of understandable for her to be upset.” He leaned forward and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I work in pediatrics. I’ve seen what happens to kids who get that test result. They get kicked out of their houses or sent to conversion camps. The world is a twisted place.” A bitter chuckle left Matt’s lips. “Most people are less insane now but there’s still pockets of assholes in the country. You know people are saying it’s caused by vaccines now? Nevermind the fact that it’s a genetic trait and practically every ancient civilization left records of switches.”

“It’s hard to understand why people are so closed minded and hateful.” Sam’s voice was shaky and you laced your fingers through his, squeezing gently. “Not everything is black and white.” Matt smiled sadly. “I’ve heard a little bit about the three of you. It sounds like your dad messed up on a few things but I’m glad to hear that he didn’t buy into the bigotry.”

“It would have been a little strange for him to react negatively. He and my mom were both switches.” Matt smiled and was about to speak when Ben appeared at the bottom of the stairs with a basketball.

“Hey Sam? Do you maybe wanna play horse?” The younger Winchester nodded, standing up and following the teen with a wide smile. Matt stood as well, mumbling something about checking on Lisa. With nothing better to do, you picked up the envelope on the coffee table. Ignoring the letter with Ben’s results, you pulled out the included booklet with “FOR PARENTS” written across the front in big block letters. It looked like a basic guide on what to make of a kid’s orientation. Curious, you began to read.

 

**_How to Help Your Dominant Child Flourish_ **

 

**_As your teen grows into their role as a dom, you may notice an increase in household friction. This is completely normal as your child is experiencing a rush of hormones that makes them crave responsibility and control._ **

**_To help them in this transition, it is important that you allow your child to make healthy and age-appropriate decisions. It could be something as simple as choosing which brand of laundry soap to buy or deciding whether the next family outing is to the movies or the zoo. Giving your child a sense of authority over themselves and the family will help stabilize them and keep them from seeking out control in unsafe methods._ **

**_It is also important to remember that dominants are, above all else, caretakers. To satisfy your teen’s need to nurture, it is recommended that you allow them to adopt a pet. Not only is this an opportunity for them to gain responsibility, having a creature that is dependent on them will reassure your child that they are needed and capable. Try to refrain from telling them what to do with their pet (unless it is necessary for the health and well being of your child or the animal) as this communicates that they are failing in their role._ **

 

 

Humming in interest, you turned the page to see what today’s advice was for kids with your test result.

 

**_Encouraging a Submissive Child_ **

 

**_Adolescence is a difficult time for submissives as they are experiencing completely normal but conflicting feelings about their independence. It can be hard for a parent to support their child as they have a desire to find themselves as adults but a biological need to be cared for._ **

**_Many make the mistake of assuming that a sub is helpless or incapable of doing anything for themselves. On the contrary, submissives are no less intelligent than dominants and are often physically stronger. Their brains move quickly as subs are eager to understand everything about the world around them. Unfortunately, such a high level of brain activity can be tiresome and submissives need to regularly decompress and turn off external input._ **

**_While teenage submissives do not need to fully “go down”, they do need help narrowing their focus. Giving your child a task that is challenging but still within their realm of capability allows them to calm their mind. Many families find that their child enjoys having a part-time job as it builds feelings of success. Subs thrive on a sense of accomplishment which makes it all the more important that you offer your child plenty of praise and encouragement._ **

**_It is also important for your teen to develop their own sense of identity and independence. Help them see that they are able to make decisions on their own (though watch to make sure they aren’t overwhelmed) and encourage them to pursue hobbies or activities outside the home. Sheltering a submissive child could open them up to dangerous and abusive relationships in the future._ **

 

Huffing in annoyance at the news that chores and jobs were still the go-to recommendation (you just wanted a cat dammit), you turned the page again. You weren’t sure if it should be all that surprising that the next section was considerably shorter and had little helpful information.

  


**_If Your Child is a Switch_ **

 

**_While it was once thought that switches were rare or that the orientation is somehow “wrong”, current scientific fact shows that there is no significant difference in the health of switches compared to dominants and submissives. As technology has advanced, more tests have come out positive for switches, a false indication of increased incidence of switches. Be wary of any programs that claim to “cure” your child of this orientation as there is no way to change the core of someone’s being._ **

**_There is still debate over the needs of a teen switch. It is currently recommended that you allow your child to lead the way. They may do well with parenting styles commonly applied to dominant children or submissive.  Try and encourage them to explore both sides of themselves as their hormones are only stabilized with dominant and submissive instincts acted on._ **

  


“What are you reading sweetheart?” You looked over your shoulder to see a smiling Dean. Smiling back, you tilted your head up, immediately getting the kiss you were asking for.

“Just some shit about how parents are supposed to treat their kids after the magic envelope reveal.” Frowning, you glanced towards the kitchen. “How’s she doing?” Dean sighed and joined you on the sofa, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“She’ll be alright. She’s just scared of all the assholes in the world.” You hummed and leaned into your soulmate’s embrace.

“Sam was lucky to have you. It’s scary to think what could have happened.” Dean said nothing, kissing the top of your head and pulling you in tighter.

  
  


It took a long time for Ben to actually say anything. Sam knew that the kid wanted to talk about his test results but didn’t push, waiting for Ben to bring it up on his own.

“So um… Do you think I’ll have two soulmates too?” That wasn’t the question Sam was expecting and he fumbled his attempted basket in surprise, earning an O.

“You might, yeah. My parents were soulmates but they were both switches so there wasn’t a third person in the bond. And it doesn’t always line up that way either. (Y/N)’s parents were soulmates with a complete bond too but they were both doms. Life is weird like that.” Ben didn’t look any less troubled.

“So I might end up needing to cheat on whoever I’m with?” It was like listening to his childhood self and Sam sighed, wishing he had a perfect answer.

“I guess that depends on your definition of cheating. If you go around behind your partner’s back, that’s a major problem. But you don’t have to do it that way. Go through the agency or find a mutual friend and do things with your partner’s permission and knowledge. (Y/N)’s parents had a friend that they would both dom together. There’s ways to make things work.” He passed the ball to Ben. “And sex isn’t the only way to settle hormones. There’s tons of other stuff people do.” The teen nodded in thought, missing the hoop for the first time since they started the game.

“My mom is upset.”

“She’s probably just surprised and nervous. Most people still think of orientations as a binary so it’s possible that she wasn’t expecting this as a possibility.” Sam tilted his head. “Are you surprised?” Ben’s cheeks colored and the teen ducked his head.

“A little… But mostly relieved. I was really nervous that something was wrong with me for wanting both.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Ben. And even if the blood test said something else, there still wouldn’t be anything wrong with you. Biology isn’t everything.”

  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  


You sighed and leaned your head back against the seat of the impala. The drive back home after visiting the Braedens was a long one. After the two switches had bonded, Ben, Matt, and Lisa had gone up to the teen’s room for a long heart to heart. Confident that they would be okay, the three of you said your goodbyes and headed out. That had been hours ago and now it was the dead of night with hundreds of miles to go before you got home. Closing your eyes, you allowed your mind to wander, smiling as you thought back to Dean’s fatherly behavior towards Ben. While you definitely weren’t ready for children anytime soon, it was nice to know that your dom would be a good dad.

“What’s got you thinking so hard back there babygirl?” Warm green eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. You blushed and looked down at your lap. “(Y/N)?” Dean’s tone had changed now to one of gentle warning.

“It’s nothing really. I’m just thinking about how great you are with Ben.” Pink bloomed on Dean’s cheeks and you felt fondness pass over from Sam. “You’ll be a wonderful father someday.” The dom bit his lip and busied himself by fiddling with the radio.

“You uh…you want to do the whole baby thing?” His voice was nonchalant but anxiety was bubbling over through the bond. You frowned.

“I guess… I kind of assumed that we would have kids.” His silence made your stomach twist. “Do you not want them?” Sam was quick to turn around and reassure you.

“We want children. Or at least I do.” Your lips twitched into a half smile as you glanced at your still silent dom.

“Dean?” Your voice was small, fear bleeding into the bond. “Do you want to have a baby?” When he still didn’t answer, you couldn’t contain your whimper. Afraid that you had upset your soulmate, you began backtracking. “It’s okay. Forget I said anything. I’m sorry Dean, I don’t need babies.” The older Winchester sighed and pulled over.

“(Y/N)...”

“I’m sorry!” You had worked yourself into a panic by this point. “Dean I promise I’ll let it go.” He got out of the car and opened the rear door, sliding into the backseat and putting his pointer and middle fingers on your lips.

“Suck.” You blinked in confusion but followed the order. “Good girl…” He waited a few minutes until your breathing had slowed down and your eyes were less wide. “That’s right (Y/N), just try to relax for me sweetheart.” A cut off whimper drew his attention to the passenger seat where a concerned looking Sam was squirming. “It’s okay, Sammy. (Y/N)’s okay. Wanna come back here sweet boy?” The switch nearly tripped over his long legs as he scrambled in behind you. The familiar heat of Sam’s firm chest at your back pushed away the last bit of tension from your body and you went boneless against him. Dean pet your tongue before removing his fingers from your mouth, dragging the wet digits over your bottom lip. “Are you ready to have a real conversation now?” You nodded and immediately opened your mouth to apologize or dismiss his concerns. “Ah ah ah princess, it’s my turn to speak. Can you be quiet by yourself or do you need Sammy to help you?”

“Help please” you mumbled, eyes downcast in shame. Dean tapped your cheek to get you to look back up.

“Don’t be embarrassed honey. We want you to tell us if you need something. You know that taking care of you makes us happy.” You blushed and nodded, making your dom smile. “Now I’m going to ask again. Can you stay quiet by yourself?”

“I need help please.”

“Good girl, thank you for telling us. I bet Sammy can help you keep that pretty mouth busy.” Taking that as his cue, Sam brought two fingers to your mouth, sliding them in when you parted your lips. “Such a good boy for me. You take such good care of your girl Sammy.” Dean said nothing for a moment, enjoying the sight in front of him. It wasn’t until Sam cleared his throat pointedly that the older brother spoke. “Alright so you asked about having kids.” Sam kissed your neck, shushing your nervous whimper. “It sounds like both of you want babies and (Y/N) thinks that I don’t. Is that right?” You nodded and he smiled sadly. “The truth is that I hadn’t really thought about it. Sammy and I don’t really have the necessary equipment to make a baby on our own and we didn’t know if we would even meet our third let alone if they would be male or female. I kinda figured kids weren’t a possibility and to be honest, I was a little relieved. I don’t know how to be a parent (Y/N), we didn’t really have the best example. Then when we found you there was so much other crap going on that I didn’t really have time to think about it.” He set his jaw and looked out the window. “Then I lost you. Both of you. When Lisa let me move in and I got to know Ben I realized that I kinda like kids. And it seemed like I did okay. I lived there for a year and I didn’t mess him up.” Sam chuckled, making Dean turn back to look at the two of you. “Something funny?”

“Dean, you practically raised me. I don’t know where you got the idea that you would be a bad parent.” Dean blushed again (another favorite sight of yours) before leaning in to give each of you a quick kiss. With your mouth free again, you cleared your throat, getting the boys’ attention.

“So…tiny people? You in?” Dean chuckled.

“I'm in…” he tilted his head. “How soon were you wanting to start popping them out?”

“Not for a few years at least. That cool with you guys?” They both nodded and you smiled, wiggling back further into Sam's hold. The switch kissed the top of your head.

“You're good for us.” You snorted.

“I would hope so. That's kind of the point.”

“No I mean you're good for our relationship. Since we met you, we've actually been talking about things more.” You smiled and cuddled closer to the switch with a yawn.

“It’s amazing how things go smoother once you start talking about your feelings, isn’t it?” Dean swatted your arm playfully.

“Alright sassy girl. Let’s find someplace to stop for the night.”

  
  


Sam was in the middle of signing his receipt at the diner when absolute horror shot out from Dean’s end of the bond. Your eyes snapped up to his and the two of you ran to the car, takeout breakfast abandoned on the counter as you rushed back to see what had your soulmate so terrified. By the time you arrived back at the motel the fear had morphed into white hot rage and when you laid eyes on your dom, he was vibrating with fury, cell phone clutched tight in his hand. Before either of you could ask what was wrong, he growled out an explanation.

“Crowley has them. Crowley has Lisa and Ben and he says he’ll kill them unless we back off on the whole purgatory thing.”

  


 

* * *

 

  


“You called?” To his credit, Balthazar showed little indication that he was surprised to see Gabriel accompany Castiel when he summoned the younger angel.

“Yes, I’d like you to tell me about your involvement with the king of Hades.” Castiel stiffened. “Your pet humans are not pleased with this arrangement. Tell me Castiel, what exactly is your plan? Open purgatory and suck up all those souls into yourself? That will do nothing other than turn you into a nuclear bomb.”

“Always a step behind aren’t you Balthazar?” Gabriel grinned. “That plan is so last week. We’ve moved on.”

“Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the new plan?”

  
  
  


A crash from the garage made you and Sam start. Rushing in, you saw Dean pinned against the wall by the demon he had been torturing for information. Before either of you could react, Castiel appeared and smote the demon. Rather than thank him for his help, Dean scowled and stalked away from the angel. Cerulean eyes shone with anguish and as quickly as he had appeared, Castiel was gone. On the floor where he had stood was a note.

 

_Lisa and Ben are at 814 Steale St. The building is warded against angels. I’m sorry Dean._

  
  
  


814 Steale St turned out to be another fucking warehouse. You were starting to think that warehouses must carry some kind of power boost for evil creatures. Why else would they favor those locations? The fact that you had come along proved just how desperate Dean was to save the woman who had become like a sister to him. He had barely put up a fight when you told him there was no way you were staying behind.

The three of you split up to search, bond kept open wide so you could communicate. Running down a flight of stairs, you stumbled into a room filled with tools. On one side of the room were Lisa and Ben, tied to a post. Unfortunately, the side you had to get through first held two angry demons. Sending a call out to your boys, you squared off your shoulders. _Here goes nothing…_

 

Sam heard your cry for help and turned to aid you, coming face to face with a demon. His opponent smirked and raised a large fist, knocking the switch out cold before dragging him into a supply closet. He locked the door, laughing as he left the unconscious Winchester leaned against a bucket of old mop water.

 

Dean entered in time to see you dodge a blow from a man almost as tall as Sam. Snarling, he charged forward and took both attackers down with the kind of force only brought on by intense fury. The two of you rushed to untie the Braedens, helping them to their feet. You were just about to lead them out when Ben punched you in the stomach with inhuman strength, sending you careening backwards. The split second of shock was all it took for the fifteen year old to yank his mother away from Dean, holding a knife to her throat.

“This bitch isn’t going anywhere.” Eyes turned black and you felt Dean’s gut twist in horror to see that Ben was possessed. “Crowley had a feeling you’d show up so he had me set up camp in this little brat just in case.” Lisa’s eyes were wide as she pleaded silently with you and Dean for help. Lips parted in a cruel laugh as the demon began to taunt Lisa. “You know your kid is awake in here. He’s pathetic. Crying away like a little baby for his mommy to save him.” The very tip of the blade scratched Lisa’s skin and she gasped, going as still as she could.

“Lisa, it’s going to be okay.” Dean’s voice was shaky though and you felt his fear like a band around your chest, holding your breath back.

“He’s such a sad little kid too. He hates you, you know? He wishes he had a normal family with a real dad and a mom who wasn’t such a slut.” Dean’s hand went to his back pocket and you saw him pop the lid on a bottle of holy water.

“It’s going to be okay” he repeated before flinging the water at the Braedens. Ben bent over and hissed in pain, giving Lisa the chance to break away. The knife clattered to the floor and you lunged for it, putting yourself between Lisa and the possessed teen. You held her back as Dean spoke the exorcism to free Ben. The teen’s eyes darted around in fear before landing on a rusty piece of pipe. You didn’t have time to react before he stabbed it into his own stomach, laughing at his mother’s scream of horror.

“Exorcise me now and the kid dies. You really have it in you to kill him?” Dean’s words faltered as you felt his heart break. Hating yourself, you took over, finishing the exorcism and watching as the boy’s body collapsed to the floor. Lisa wrenched herself from your grasp, cradling her son in her arms and glaring at you murderously.

“Get away, you bitch.” You backed up slowly.

“I’m gonna go find Sam…” Dean nodded, shooting you a reassuring smile before you bolted, dialing Sam’s number.

  


 

* * *

 

  


You hated hospitals. The beeping of monitors, the strong disinfectants failing to cover an underlying stench of sickness and death… Lisa had shut the door of Ben’s room, not allowing you or your soulmates in. Dean was currently pacing restlessly in the waiting room and Sam was running his fingers along his cuff, calming down from the adrenaline of everything. Telling your boys that you needed the bathroom, you walked down the hall, escaping into the hospital chapel. In reality, you had needed to get away from the guilt in Dean’s eyes. He had no reason to feel guilty, not when you were the one who had spoken the final words and left Ben with fatal wounds.

“A little on the nose, don’t you think?” Gabriel’s voice echoed in the otherwise empty chapel. “You do know that you can pray for me in places without stained glass, right?”

“I didn’t pray for you.” You glared at the archangel and he smiled gently.

“Yes you did, dumpling. Maybe not explicitly but asking for forgiveness is generally interpreted as a prayer.” He took a seat next to you in the pew. “How’s the kid?” You bit your lip.

“Not great… Lisa won’t tell us much but I saw a priest go in. They’re not a religious family so I doubt that’s a good sign.” The archangel said nothing, letting you sit in silence for a few minutes.

“I could heal him.” You looked up when he finally spoke. “Lisa wouldn’t even have to know.” As tempting as the offer was, you knew that Dean would be suspicious. Your dom rarely put his foot down but he had expressly forbidden you and Sam from contacting Castiel or Gabriel about the Braedens and going against a direct order was physically painful to even consider.

“I wish I could say yes to that but Dean would kill me.”

“No I wouldn’t.” An emotion-roughened voice from behind you made you turn around to see Dean and Sam standing in the chapel doorway. “I know I said that I didn’t want to involve Cas or Gabriel but…” He sighed. “Ben’s just a kid.” Gabriel didn’t give your soulmate a chance to reconsider, immediately disappearing. When the three of you peered through the window of Ben’s room, you saw the teen sitting up and talking animatedly with his mother. As if feeling your gaze, she looked up and offered you and your boys a grateful smile. Your heart lifted. Maybe things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add some smut but it just felt like there was a lot of chapter in this chapter already if that makes sense?
> 
> Also finishing this today has been so nice because I had the shittiest weekend at work (cried three times, had to make a huge effort to keep myself from just walking and almost told the VP of my department to bite me) so doing a thing that makes me happy is awesome.
> 
> Last stupid note that no one cares about: A person who knows me out in the real world is reading this now which freaks me the fuck out but also she's pretty much my wife so whatever. Hello my lady love!


	33. Trust Falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all fucking know what's happening here. Guilt and emotional constipation. Also Castiel is a lost puppy.
> 
> Trigger warning for some self-harm elements. It's kind of scattered throughout so I can't put a specific marker around it. Sorry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sort of took off on its own and now it's soooo fucking middle school. Think book five Harry Potter levels of angst and melodrama. I'm honestly a little embarrassed to have written this but now it exists and won't leave me alone. Here have some feelings.  
> Also- speaking from experience here, kneeling on rice hurts like a bitch.

 

 

 

 

Lisa’s smile didn’t last long and as she and Ben left, she made it perfectly clear that you and the boys were no longer welcome in her or her son’s lives. Dean was silent the whole drive back, his heartbreak echoing in your and Sam's minds. When the three of you arrived back home, Dean disappeared upstairs to the second bathroom, the current renovations providing a perfect outlet for his unhappiness. Sam mumbled something about needing air and left for a walk. He returned two hours later to find Dean still banging around upstairs and you crying quietly with your nose in the corner. Deciding things had gone on long enough, Sam led you upstairs to talk to your dom.

 

“Dean?” The older Winchester looked up from the flooring he had been chipping at. He frowned at how troubled his subs looked. Sam was fidgeting and scratching at his arms as if his skin was too tight. You were nearly motionless, arms wrapped tightly around yourself in an attempt to self-soothe while you chewed on your bottom lip. Both of you were swimming in so much negativity that it would be nearly impossible for him to get the full picture using the bond. Berating himself for being so caught up in his own grief that he didn’t even notice his soulmates struggling, he offered you and Sam a gentle smile.

“Do you two need help?” Sam nodded, nudging you when you didn’t react and you jumped as if you had forgotten where you were. Dean stood and brushed his hands off on his pants. “I’ll be in the bedroom in five minutes. When I get there, I want you both naked and on your knees. Understood?” Again, Sam nodded while your face remained blank. The switch grabbed your hand and tugged you into the bedroom, helping you follow Dean’s instructions with your mind a million miles away.

Dean entered the room in time to see you blink in confusion as Sam guided you to your knees. That at least told him which of his soulmates to deal with first. It was clear that you were too far in your own mind to be reached with words but Sam going down never failed to settle your anxiety. Sam sinking into subspace let you know that it was safe for you to do the same and Dean had used that to his advantage more than once. He stepped in front of you, tapping your temple to get your attention.

“I’m going to talk to Sammy for a minute. While I do that, I want you to sort these by color.” He handed you a box of buttons he had found in the back of a cabinet. You slowly took the box and he watched to make sure you had understood the orders. “Good girl.” Hopefully the task would help pull you back into a place where conversation was possible. Dean turned to see his brother squirming, unable to keep still. “Alright sweet boy, what’s on your mind?” The switch took a deep breath before speaking.

“I fucked up. You two needed help and I let myself get taken out like a rookie. I should have known there was someone behind me. Now Gabriel is involved, Lisa’s mad, you’re unhappy and (Y/N) is dropping. If I had just thought for a second, I could have made it down to where Lisa and Ben were and done the exorcism myself or helped restrain Ben while we thought of a new plan.” Dean stayed silent as Sam rattled off his sins, letting the switch get everything off his chest and into the open. It wasn’t until his brother fell silent and relaxed his posture slightly that Dean stepped forward, helping Sam rest his cheek against the dom’s leg. Confessing his wrongdoings usually got Sam into a more gentle state of mind and this time was no different.

“Anything else bothering you?” Sam shook his head and Dean nodded to himself. “Okay, so you’re feeling bad about getting knocked out because it kept you out of the action. Is that right?” Sam nodded and whined, earning himself a reassuring tug on his hair. “Good boy, thank you for telling me so we can get things dealt with.” Sam’s eyes fluttered shut at Dean’s low voice. “Alright… First off, it is never your fault if someone or something hurts you. I might be angry that you got hurt but I will _never_ blame you for it. The only time you would be in trouble for anything similar is if you put yourself in unnecessary danger. Getting knocked out wasn’t your fault Sammy.” The switch whined and pressed his face into the denim of Dean’s jeans. “I know sweetheart, I won’t leave you hanging.” Dean hated punishing his subs for things he didn’t see as their fault or even a transgression. He was always careful to make expectations clear, explicitly stating what would warrant some form of discipline and framing what he saw as unearned punishments as a form of caretaking rather than an attempt to correct behavior. “You’ll get what you need in just a minute, I promise. We just need to check in with (Y/N).”

He looked over his shoulder to see that you had mostly completed the task he had assigned, tearfully holding up the last button. It was half white and half blue and you couldn't figure out where to put it. Keeping one hand in Sam’s hair, he turned to face you. “Well that’s a pesky one isn’t it?” He plucked it from your fingers so you couldn’t see it anymore before tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “(Y/N), tell me what you’re thinking.” It took a minute for you to find your voice and when you finally spoke, you kept your eyes glued to the wall, unable to bear the scorn you knew would be in his eyes.

“I practically killed Ben. You probably had a plan to get him free that wouldn’t put him in mortal danger but I just plowed on ahead like an idiot and now Lisa doesn’t trust us anymore and you’ve lost important people and the angels are involved. If I wasn’t so fucking weak I wouldn’t have needed to call for backup and Sam wouldn’t have been distracted so he wouldn’t have gotten hurt and he wouldn’t be feeling bad now over something that’s my fault…” Your voice had gotten progressively smaller as you spoke, the last words barely audible. Sam risked reaching a hand out to squeeze your knee and, at Dean’s nod of approval, scooted over and pulled you into his lap. Affection was something the dom would never withhold or limit, no matter the circumstances. His subs could always seek comfort in each other and if it meant that they weren’t kneeling, that was fine.

“You’ve got a lot going on in that head of yours, haven't you baby?” Dean smiled sadly. Your laundry list of perceived wrongdoings did throw a bit of a wrench in his plans. Generally, if both of you needed to be punished he would do it at the same time. Not only did it strengthen the bond between you and Sam, it helped Dean know that he was doing right by both of you. It was hard to balance adequate aftercare for the sub he had just punished while the clock was ticking on the other’s sense of guilt. The hard part this time was that you seemed to need something a little stronger than what he’d had in mind for Sam. In the past, if he was punishing both of you it was for something you had done together, like when a pair of panties showed up in the backseat proving you had fooled around without him or when you filled all of his socks with glitter. In those situations it made sense to dole out identical penalties. Giving you a harsher punishment than Sam could indicate that you were somehow more “bad” or deserving of discipline. On the other hand, doling out an unnecessarily heavy punishment for something as small as Sam’s would make the problem seem bigger than it was. He was between a rock and a hard place, frustrated by the knowledge that there wasn’t a way to move forward without causing unnecessary stress or hurt to his soulmates. _Maybe something middle of the road?_

“Alright follow me.” Not stopping to talk through your concerns, he led the two of you downstairs to the kitchen where you were made to kneel on a thin layer of uncooked rice for thirty five minutes. This was the harshest thing he had assigned since your and Sam’s resurrection. The two of you rarely misbehaved and Dean was reluctant to inflict physical pain after what had happened between you and Sam. The rice wasn’t comfortable by any means but it also wasn’t a blow delivered by his own hands. As he brushed the grains off your legs and massaged both of you with sweet smelling lotion, crooning praises and words of forgiveness, he never realized that while Sam’s worries had been put to rest, he had never explicitly addressed what you were forgiven for, only that the punishment was over.

 

* * *

 

Castiel was worried. Gabriel seemed confident in his ability to take out Raphael but the archangel was still weakened. Healing the Braeden boy had done little to aid in his recovery and Castiel didn’t believe his brother had the power to stop another archangel.

This concern did not go over well.

“Really Cassie? I’ve got to say I’m a little hurt that you think I’m so weak.” Cas rolled his eyes.

“Gabriel I’m not saying that you are weak, only that you are weak _ened_. Raphael has been in heaven this whole time, building up an army of followers. His strength is almost unimaginable. Compared to him, we have little power at our disposal.”

“Oh Castiel…” Gabriel smirked. “I’ve been kicking Raphael’s ass since the dawn of time. Trust me, we’re fine.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Stop coddling yourself_ you thought as you turned the water as cold as it would go and twisted the shower head to a massage setting. Once it felt like you were being pounded by a torrent of hail, you reached for the shampoo, angry at yourself for entertaining the idea of making the water a little hotter. Warm showers were for good girls. You scrubbed your body aggressively with your roughest exfoliant, focusing hard on keeping your end of the bond muffled. The boys didn’t need to feel your discomfort. It had been two days since Dean had punished you and while Sam was completely at ease, you were neck deep in self-loathing. You knew it was selfish of you to expect that Dean would go to the trouble of making a special punishment just for you. Dean hated punishing his subs and you didn’t want to be any more of a bad selfish needy girl than you already were. You could take care of yourself.

After dressing, in your own clothes because you shouldn’t dirty Sam or Dean’s shirts, you gave yourself twenty minutes of corner time to think about your mistakes before you joined your soulmates in the living room. Sam had coaxed Dean away from the remodeling and they were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. You bit back the feelings of jealousy. Of course Sam should get cuddled, he was a good boy. Schooling your face into a smile, you walked through the room and into the kitchen. There were still dishes in the sink from last night’s dinner and maybe if you washed them it would be enough to let you deserve the selfish joy you took in Dean’s arms around you at night.

“(Y/N) what are you doing? It’s Dean’s turn to clean up. Come in here and sit with me.” No surprise that Sam would be the one to catch you. He knew the rules. He was good. Still though… The idea of Dean dealing with a mess while you stole Sam’s attention away was repulsive.

“It’s fine, I was here anyway.”

“C’mon, he’s always getting out of his chores.” The switch was suddenly right behind you. His appearance startled you and the plate you had been rinsing fell from your hands, the ceramic shattering when it collided with the sink. _Stupid! Now you’ve broken their dishes._

“Shit! I’m so sorry!” You quickly began gathering up the evidence of your mistake, hoping that it being out of sight would make you feel less inept. In your haste to pick up the pieces, you didn’t pay attention to the sharp edges and before you knew it, there was blood mixing with the water from multiple cuts on your hands.

“Whoa (Y/N) be careful!” _Idiot… It wasn’t enough to break their stuff, you have to fucking bleed everywhere too…_ Sam shut the water off and tried to take one of your hands in his. You took several steps back though, not wanting to dirty him with the blood of a murderer. “Sweetheart I need you to let me look at it.” Sam’s words had drawn Dean into the kitchen as well and the dom’s eyes widened when he saw you backed into the corner and clutching a shard of ceramic, the edge of it still digging into your skin.

“(Y/N) give me that.” You gingerly set the shard in his outstretched palm, making sure there was no danger of him getting cut.

“I’m sorry…” He gave you a pitying smile.

“It’s okay babygirl. I bet that hurt.” Before you could protest, Dean had set you on the counter next to Sam who had already grabbed a first aid kit. “Let’s get you patched up.”

 

Your hands hurt. You weren’t overly against this development though. The pain felt justified, serving as a reminder of your worthlessness. Twice a day, Dean would unwrap your bandages and apply antiseptic to the wounds, shushing your pained whimpers. Little did he know, you relished those moments, needing him to make you hurt.

Corner time, cold showers, and limited food and water could only go so far as self punishments. The discomfort brought about by your injury was oddly soothing and with it your mood improved slightly. You found other ways to cause minor harm, things the boys wouldn’t notice. Bits of gravel in your shoes ensured a sting with every step, the hair tie always on your wrist was good for a quick snap, and it was easy to pull your hair or bite the inside of your cheek undetected. Maintaining a low level of pain was enough to clear your mind, helping you stay present. Unfortunately, you quickly grew used to your methods and struggled to find new ways to inflict damage on yourself without the boys being aware. The last time you had bit inside your mouth, the skin had been so tender that the pain was too much to hide and you had to come up with a quick lie to keep them from worrying. There had to be a way to give yourself what you needed while still keeping it private.

The answer came in one of your spellbooks. Much as you hated to mess with the soulbond that connected you to the brothers, a spell that could censor any pain or negative emotions seemed more than logical. There was no need for Dean or Sam to be bothered by your issues and the spell wouldn’t do anything to either of them or intrude on the connection they had to each other. The wall had to be tied to a physical object and you quickly found the perfect one. Dean had left the box of buttons out and the two-tone plastic you were too stupid to sort was a perfect symbol of your uselessness. Barrier successfully in place, you moved on to harsher methods of punishment while the Winchesters felt nothing but calm from your soul.

 

“Dean?” The dom put down his drill. He had been working almost nonstop on the bathroom renovations, throwing all of his emotions into the work and spending less and less time with you and Sam.

“Hey Sammy, what’s up?” The switch appeared troubled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and tugging anxiously on his collar.

“I think something’s wrong with (Y/N). She’s been acting strange lately.” Dean closed his eyes and focused on the part of his mind where the bond with you lived.

“She feels fine… What exactly do you mean by strange?” Sam shrugged.

“She’s been spending a lot of time alone. Whenever we talk, she seems distracted.” He looked at the floor. “And she’s kind of distant physically… Usually if we’re in the same room, she’ll sit with me but that hasn’t been happening.I know that she’s in charge of her own body and she totally has the right to control who touches her and when but she never minded cuddling before.” He mumbled his last words. “I miss it.” The older Winchester stood up.

“Let’s go talk to her. I’m sure it’s nothing.” Sam led him outside to find you sitting on the front stairs in shorts and a t-shirt. The early-February air was cold and your arms were covered in goosebumps but you didn’t so much as shiver, staring blankly ahead with your hands in tight fists. The dom approached you slowly. “Hey babygirl. Aren’t you cold?” You blinked a few times at the sound of his voice and looked up in surprise.

“Hi” Your breath fogged in front of your face.

“Hi…” Dean frowned. “That wasn’t an answer to my question honey. Are you cold?” You thought for a moment before nodding. “How about we go inside?” He took your hand , other still clenched at your side, and led you into the living room, setting you up in the middle of the couch with several blankets. You stared at the boys in confusion, prompting Sam to speak.

“(Y/N) is something wrong?” You shook your head. “Are you sure? Because you haven’t been yourself.” Seeing the nervousness that statement put on your face, Dean took over.

“What Sammy’s saying is that you’ve been acting a little different lately. There’s nothing wrong with that, we just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Really?” Sam didn’t look convinced. “Sweetie are you hurt? Did I hurt you? You won’t let me touch you.”

“No there’s nothing wrong. I’m sorry if I’ve been weird. What do you want me to do?” “You don’t want to do anything other than be yourself sweetie. We just wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay.” You smiled brightly at Dean’s reassurance.

“I’m one hundred percent okay. Sorry for worrying you.” You stood up. “If it’s okay with you guys, I’m gonna take a shower.” They nodded their permission and Sam waited for you to leave before whirling around to face his brother.

“See what I mean? That wasn’t normal!”

“Sam she’s fine.” Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s annoyed huff.

“She is not fine. Dean I think she’s dropping or something.”

“If she were, we would feel it. Maybe (Y/N) just wants some alone time. We don’t always have to be in each other’s pockets.”

“I think she might still be upset about what happened with Ben.” Dean’s eyes flashed with anger and Sam took a step back.

“That’s in the past Sam. We talked about it, we dealt with it, it’s over. I don’t want to ever talk about Lisa and Ben again.” Seeing the uncertainty in Sam’s face, Dean sighed. “Look Sammy, sometimes people go through weird spells. I promise you she’s fine though. I’ve been a dom for a long time now, I know what drops look like and this isn’t a drop. She spaced out a little earlier but that’s normal. We need to let her be her own person and that won’t happen if we keep badgering her whenever she does or says something that doesn’t line up perfectly with our expectations.” He put a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Trust me.”

“Okay…”

 

Neither brother noticed that you had lingered outside the room, listening to their conversation. _Sam’s sweet but he shouldn’t worry himself over a bad girl. Besides, Dean doesn’t want to talk about what I did anymore. It’s done. Stop being so selfish and get over it._ Unclenching your fist, you stared at the blue and white button. Resolved to continue the self-punishment until you could be a good girl again, you went upstairs for another freezing shower and time-out. If you yanked out a few clumps of hair while you faced the corner, that was your own business.

 

* * *

 

 _Humans have a very inaccurate concept of angels,_ mused Castiel. _We are not beings of light and mercy and forgiveness._ He looked down at the body of Dr. Eleanor Visyak and sighed. _More often than not, we are killers._ The seraph wished there was another way to defeat Raphael but he needed the souls of Purgatory to boost his power. With Eve dead and Crowley out of the picture, Castiel had to rely on other methods of reaching those souls. He had found a spell that could open the door to Purgatory but it carried a pricetag he knew Sam and Dean would find too heavy. Dr. Visyak was a native of Purgatory and he needed her blood. While the angel did not necessarily have to kill the woman, it was safer for her to be dead. Crowley could still be watching and the last thing Castiel wanted was for the demon king to obtain the souls first. The spell also required a lunar eclipse, one of which was fast approaching. If Castiel could move quickly and stay a few steps ahead of Crowley, he stood a chance at taking back Heaven and making sure Sam and Dean’s sacrifices weren’t for nothing.

 

* * *

 

 

Eight days had passed since the initial punishment and things in the house were somewhat stabilized. You had been careful to act normally. If Sam wanted someone to cuddle, you could be that for him. The switch was still concerned about how stiffly you held yourself and how quiet you had been lately but said nothing. Dean had been a dom longer and if he said things were fine, they were probably fine. The last thing Sam wanted to do was overreact and make you annoyed with him.

Unfortunately, the calm couldn’t last forever. Dean had finished installing the squishy shower floors and wanted to take them for a test drive. The warm water was almost too hot after so many frigid showers and you couldn't contain your purr of delight at the novelty. That was quickly followed by more disgust and your mind raced as you tried to think up a suitable punishment for later to make up for this unearned reward. You were so focused on thinking up a way to hurt yourself that you missed Dean's command to kneel. It wasn't until Sam tapped your knee that you realized your mistake and you scrambled down quickly, adding this slip-up to the list of things you’d need to correct later. Dean raised an eyebrow but the fake contentment in the bond was convincing enough to keep him from prodding.

“How’s that? Comfy?” Sam hummed in confirmation, wriggling in place. You schooled your face into a smile and nodded. “Good…” Dean reached a hand down to stroke through Sam’s hair and you bit your tongue to hold back the longing whine bubbling up in your throat. Sam was the good one, he deserved the gentle touches. “What should we do first?”

 

You swallowed Sam’s release, glad that you could at least do something right. He was currently gagging on Dean’s cock while you crouched down on the shower floor. Your fingers were between your legs as Dean had demanded but you weren’t moving them, knowing you wouldn’t be able to achieve any kind of pleasure anyway. Dean groaned and spilled down Sam's throat, taking a moment to collect himself.

“Both of you are so good.” Sam smiled happily and you buried your face in the back of Dean’s knee so he wouldn’t be able to see the pain in your eyes from his lie. “The water’s getting kind of cold though. Let’s get (Y/N) into bed so we can take care of her Sammy.” You rose and dried off stiffly, nervous about what was coming. _What does he mean by ‘take care’ of me?_

By the time the three of you reached the bedroom, you were shaking. It was clear that you were about to be punished for something but you weren’t sure which of your fuck ups the boys were angry about. Thinking you were cold, Sam wrapped his arms around you and frowned when you went deathly still.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was filled with concern and you mentally chastised yourself for being such a wuss.

“I’m sorry Master.” you mumbled, eyes downcast. “Where do you want me?” Hazel eyes narrowed in confusion. While it wasn’t unheard of for the title of Sir to be used occasionally in bed, Master was never something the three of you said. There was too much of a power imbalance in the word, too similar to denigration for any of you to be comfortable.

“Why are you sorry sweetheart?” Dean was worried now too and you panicked, not sure what to say. You knew that this was where you were supposed to explain why you were being punished but it wasn’t clear what the brothers were most unhappy about. Overwhelmed, your voice caught in your throat and you wriggled out of Sam’s hold, dropping down to your knees and pressing your forehead to the floor, hands clasped behind you. Shock rippled through the bond and you felt movement near you before a warm hand touched your back.

 

  


Sam let out a small wounded noise when you flinched back from his touch and looked up at Dean in alarm. The older Winchester prodded at the bond, frowning when he felt nothing but lazy happiness from your end. Sam bent forward, laying his cheek on the floor and pulling your hair away from your face.

“(Y/N)? Can you look at me please?” When you didn’t react, Dean dropped to the floor as well.

“(Y/N)? Babydoll please tell us what’s going on.” Your body remained still and the dom felt panic start to build inside Sam’s mind. “ **(Y/N)!** ” The commanding tone cut through your murky mind and you sat straight up, looking at Dean with eyes full of fear.

“I’m sorry! I’m so so so sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you Master, I swear.” The dom reached out to touch your cheek and you cringed. “I know that I’m a bad girl but I promise that I’m trying to be better! Please please please believe me!”

“Dean what’s happening?” Sam’s face was ghostly white and you grabbed at your hair, tugging hard. _Stupid bitch now you’ve upset Sam. Why do they even keep you around when you bring them nothing but headaches?_

“ **(Y/N) let go of your hair.** ” Dean’s voice dripped with authority and you were obeying without even realizing what he had said. He hated using that voice with you and tried speaking normally again. “(Y/N) can you understand me?” You whined in confusion and he cursed. “She’s dropping. Hard. Really really hard.” Dean backed away slowly, horror all over his face. “Fuck…”

“Dammit Dean I knew something was wrong!” Ignoring your protests and stuttered apologies, Sam gathered you in his arms and hauled you into bed, sitting against the headboard so that he could wrap himself around you. Dean watched nervously.

“Why can’t I feel it? It’s like the bond is stuck or something.”

“I’m not sure…” Sam was rocking slowly, holding your arms against your chest to stop you from clawing at your legs. He met his brother’s gaze. “She must be hiding it somehow.” Sam’s eyes hardened and he glared, more angry then he had been in a long time. “I told you (Y/N) needed help but you said she was fine. Now look at her.” Dean’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to find something to say.

“Sammy if I had known-”

“But I did know Dean! And you told me I was being overbearing so she was just left to suffer!” You whimpered when Sam yelled and he sighed, pulling you closer. “Get out. (Y/N) needs me to be calm right now and I can’t do that with you around.” Hazel eyes met green with disappointment. “If you want to help, try and figure out what she did to the bond.” Feeling his heart in his throat, Dean nodded and fled, sparing one last regretful glance at his soulmates.

 

 

Once Dean had left the room, door cracked open because closing it would hurt too much, Sam let his shoulders sag. He was so angry with himself that he could barely breathe. The switch _knew_ that you weren’t okay and instead of trusting himself, he let his own insecurities get in the way of taking care of his sub.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart” he whispered into your hair, knowing you probably couldn’t hear or understand him. “I know I let you down and I promise that I’ll fix this.” He rearranged you so that you were straddling his lap, arms still trapped and head tucked under his chin. “We’re going to be okay.”

  


Dean dug through your glovebox angrily. He had already looked in your coats and bag. So far he hadn’t found anything that could explain the disconnect between what he and Sam could feel through the bond and what was obviously happening. When the car came up empty he slammed the door, picking up a rock from the driveway and throwing it at the fence. _Son of a bitch!_ The dom had never been more furious with himself. Even with all of the blood on his hands from Hell and Earth, this was the worst thing he had done. Sam had been right and in the back of his mind, Dean had fucking known it. He just wanted so badly to bury all memories of Lisa and Ben that he let himself ignore what he knew were warning signs. He’d been spending less time with you and Sam but even he noticed that you were withdrawn. The absolute worst part of it all though was what he did to Sam. The switch was still nervous about his role, looking to his brother for guidance and Dean had taken advantage of that. He really shouldn’t have been surprised though. Dean knew that anytime things were going well, it would all come crashing down. He was cursed like that.

_Wait…_

**_Cursed?_ **

The dom nearly tripped over his feet as he ran upstairs to the room where you kept your spellbooks.

 

* * *

 

“I’m curious Castiel.” The seraph froze at the familiar voice of his brother. “What exactly are you planning to do with that blood.”

“Balthazar.” Castiel didn’t turn around, continuing to divide Dr. Visyak’s blood into jars. When he gave no other acknowledgement of the other angel, Balthazar sighed.

“Please tell me you aren’t planning to do something stupid like swallow up all of those souls.”

“I am doing what must be done to protect this world.” Castiel’s shoulders sagged, vessel betraying his weariness. “Gabriel believes himself strong enough to defeat Raphael on his own. You and I both know that is foolishness.”

“And blowing yourself up isn’t?” The older angel looked at his brother pleadingly. “Castiel there is another way out of this. Saving the Earth doesn’t have to be a suicide mission.” He waited until it was clear that Castiel was finished speaking before flying away, needing to find Gabriel.

 

* * *

 

“Sweetheart please let me in” Sam begged, running his fingers through your hair. You hadn’t spoken or really made any sounds outside of a few quiet whimpers. “Please tell me what’s going on so I can help you.” The switch was at a loss, having no idea how he was supposed to help you when you had retreated so far into yourself. _Think Sam, what would Dean do?_ The younger Winchester thought back to the times Dean had brought him back to reality. It was hard to remember those moments as they were clouded by anxiety. Sam was lucky in that Dean rarely let things get even close to this level. What he could remember was Dean’s voice cutting through the fog. _Not his regular voice though… It had that edge like he used before…_ The switch wasn’t sure how to achieve that tone, the one full of power and authority. _Might as well give it a shot._ “ **(Y/N)?** ” You pulled your face from his neck, looking up at him with wide eyes. “ **What’s wrong?** ” A whine bubbled up in your throat and you shook your head. _Okay, too general._ “ **Tell me what you’re thinking right now**.”

“Bad girl. Bad bad bad bad… I don’t want to be bad though!” Sam ran gentle fingers down your cheek, trying to ignore the way you flinched.

“ **Why do you think you’re bad?** ”

“Selfish, needy… Trying so hard to be good but I can’t.” You turned your face into the hand that was still on your cheek, unable to resist the offered comfort. Sam frowned, feeling like the conversation was just moving in circles and wanting desperately to figure out a way to move forward even a little.

“ **How would you know that you’re good?** ” You tilted your head in confusion and he sighed, wishing he could feel what you were feeling.

 

Dean dug through the pile of clothes the three of you had abandoned in the bathroom, nearly shouting in joy when he found the blue and white button in the pocket of your discarded jeans. You had marked the page with the bond-suppressing spell and after reading it a few times, Dean was pretty sure he knew how to break it. If he was right and the button was the source of the magic, all he had to do was break it. His toolbox was still in the bathroom and once he had secured the button in place with a folded piece of tape, he brought his hammer down. As soon as the plastic snapped, the floodgates opened and Dean grabbed the wall, dizzy from the amount of pain and despair spilling over from your mind. Once he was sure that he could stand, he took off, running to the bedroom.

  
  


Sam felt it the minute Dean broke the spell. As soon as the wall had been removed from the bond, he found himself drowning in a week’s worth of self-loathing and agony. Your eyes went wide as you tried to close things off again but it was like trying to catch water with a butterfly net. Sam held you tight, his own heart breaking at how much you had been struggling.

“Oh sweetheart why didn’t you say something?” With the wall down and your mind less trapped, you were suddenly more lucid and able to answer him.

“Dean doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Baby…” You and Sam looked to the doorway where a devastated Dean stood. “I’m so so sorry. I’ve been a terrible partner.” His words did nothing to calm your nerves and you immediately started retreating.

“Dean!” Sam’s voice was icy and you would have flinched were he not holding you too tight to move. “It’s not about you right now. If you want to be in here then you need to get it together.” Seeing his brother’s anxiety, his eyes softened. “I know you’re feeling guilty but she shouldn’t be comforting you right now. We’ll talk about all of this later but she’s not in a place where that’s possible.” Both Winchesters were surprised at how easily Sam was controlling the situation and Dean felt a tiny bubble of pride in the back of his mind.

“Okay Sammy, you’re in charge. What are we doing?”

  


The boys listened in horrified silence as you recounted the last few days. The three of you were sitting cross legged on the floor in a little circle. Sam had ordered you to tell them everything that had happened since the three of you got back from the Braeden’s. Dean had let out a broken groan when you talked about how Sam’s worries had been put to rest while yours weren’t addressed, causing the switch to shoot him a look of warning. Your soulmate’s distress pulled you from your emotionless delivery.

“It’s okay, Dean. I understand. Sam did nothing wrong. I’m the murderer.” Dean opened his mouth to respond but Sam interjected.

“What happened next?” It wasn’t time yet to talk about emotions or guilt or blame.

The switch had to stop himself from commenting on your self-inflicted punishments. The idea of you alone and hurting yourself was sickening but it needed to all be out in the open.

“And then you said we were coming in here so you could ‘take care of me’ but I didn’t know what you were mad about so I panicked.” You shrugged. “Now we’re here.”

“What about the bond? How did you keep us from feeling you?” Dean perked up at a question he could answer.

“It was a spell. She tied it to this.” He held up the broken pieces of button. “Once I smashed this bad boy, the wall came down.” You huffed in irritation at your spell being broken.

“Alright” Sam cleared his throat. “So that’s how we got here. Let’s figure out where we’re going next.” You curled in on yourself and he finally let go of some of his restraint, reaching a hand out to squeeze your knee. “It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to deal with this on your own anymore.”

“But Dean doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.” you whispered, glancing nervously at your other soulmate.

“Sweetheart I want to talk about anything that’s bothering you. I’m so sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me.” Both boys knew that you didn’t believe Dean’s words yet but by the time they were finished, you would.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The pajamas you were wearing were new and ridiculously soft. Sam had planned on giving them to you for Valentine’s Day but the boys decided that after all of the pain you’d been inflicting on yourself, they wanted to drown you in pleasant sensations. It had taken a while to reach this point. First you were given the spanking that you had so desperately needed. The boys were against the idea, saying that you had hurt yourself enough, but you needed it, having obsessed over the denied punishment for over a week now. Both Sam and Dean had clearly stated that they were punishing you for hiding things from them and for taking over their job. Each strike to your rear was immediately followed by words of love and reassurance with the brothers tackling your perceived sins one by one, putting them to rest. You had been made to repeat everything they said and by the end of it, you were sobbing.

Once they were sure that all of your guilt had been eased, they carried you back to the bathroom for a warm bubble bath. The lights were kept low and the air was steamy and scented with jasmine, making everything feel soft and dreamy. Before the water could get cold, they helped you out, drying you off and rubbing lotion into your sore muscles. By the time they dressed you in the insanely plush pajamas and curled into bed on either side of you, you were a puddle of goo. After you fell asleep, the boys had a long conversation with each other, Dean apologizing for undermining Sam’s authority and ignoring his concerns. They went to sleep with things still a bit shaky, but stable enough to take a break.

The next morning, the three of you talked at length about rules and roles and boundaries. It was decided that punishments would always be followed by a recap, making sure everyone was on the same page. You were forbidden from taking discipline into your own hands, something you easily agreed to. Dean also suggested that you and Sam spend more time as a couple so that you could develop a stronger dynamic of your own.

Over lunch, Dean opened up about his grief surrounding the Braedens. The older Winchester was used to burying his emotions and he kept pausing mid-sentence, glancing at his soulmates to make sure he wasn’t being judged. It stung to see how nervous Dean was about sharing his pain and you promised yourself that you would encourage him to open up more.

  
  
  
  


~-Six Days Later-~

 

You wiggled happily under Sam, soaking up the affection he was unintentionally (but definitely not unwillingly) pouring through the bond. Dean had gone out to get groceries, leaving the two of you to make out on the couch. He brushed your hair back as he leaned in to give you another lingering kiss and your brows furrowed in confusion at an unexpected texture. Sam whined in protest when you tilted your face away, grabbing his left hand and pulling it closer to inspect his cuff. Woven into the braided leather were pieces of the blue and white button that had caused you so much dismay. Seeing the question in your eyes, Sam smiled and sat up, pulling you to sit in his lap with his wrist still clutched in your hands.

“It’s to help me remember my roles.” He took one of your hands and guided your fingers along the leather. “This is Dean. It’s a symbol of his ownership and lets me know that I can always go to him to feel safe and loved and taken care of. This” He tapped your fingers against a bit of plastic. “reminds me that you need me to do the same for you. It tells me that I’m just as much your dom as Dean is and that I am capable of taking care of you. This makes sure I’m always aware of your reliance on and trust in me.” You snorted and pulled your hand away, a look of disgust on your face.

“Sounds like a ton of pressure. I don’t want to be a burden on you.” The switch shook his head, pulling you closer.

“You’re not a burden at all.” He kissed your cheek. “I get that logic though. Before we met you I was always worried about how much stress I must put Dean under and how there was no way he could relax if he was always watching out for me. Now, I get what he meant when he said that he needs the responsibility. I _need_ to take care of you (Y/N). It makes me feel like I’m not so powerless in the world. Having someone who relies on me and trusts me enough to completely surrender…” He shivered and squeezed your waist. “Definitely not a bad thing. Dean makes me feel safe and cared for and valued and you make me feel strong and needed and capable.” You blushed and turned in his arms so that you could hide your face in his neck. “Sweetheart you aren’t a burden. You’re giving me what I need and I love that I can make you feel the way that Dean makes me feel. I’m so so happy that I have your trust and that you’re _mine_.”

“You two are such saps.” Dean’s voice made you and Sam look up, seeing your dom leaning in the doorway with a fond smile on his face.

“You know you love it.” His smile grew at Sam’s teasing tone and he crossed the room to join you on the couch.

“You’re right, I do.” He booped Sam’s nose laughing when the switch crossed his eyes to follow the motion. “I’m glad you understand things now baby boy. You two giving me your trust and submission is more than I could ever ask for.” The three of you sat in happy silence for several minutes before Dean’s stomach rumbled loudly. You laughed and got up, stretching before heading into the kitchen to take care of the men who took such wonderful care of you.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Balthazar!” Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up at the sudden arrival of an uninvited guest. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” The archangel frowned when he saw his normally playful brother’s serious face.

“I’ve just had a rather alarming interaction with Castiel. It would appear our baby brother has gone rogue.”

“Are you sure?”

“He slaughtered and drained a purgatory native. I would say that’s a fairly sure sign that Castiel is going back to Plan A.”

  
  


_The bruise on your hip immediately sent alarm bells off in your head and you jumped up from the porch swing._

_“Hey kiddo.” You scowled at Gabriel. The archangel was a bit blurry again, his voice distorted as if he were speaking underwater._

_“What’s going on? Why am I here?” Your heart began racing at the implications of the situation. “Please don’t tell me I’m dead again.” He shook his head, the motion stuttering before your eyes, making you dizzy._

_“You’re not dead, we just have a bad signal. Seems like you’ve finally found some decent warding. I can’t get in the house or visit Sam or Dean’s dreams but this place is mine. I created it and I can always come back.” You shivered._

_“So what, you’re keeping me prisoner in my mind? Is this some sort of punishment for ignoring you guys?” Your voice was full of fear. Gabriel was the most powerful being you had ever met and if he wanted to, he could lock you away in this dream, never letting you see your soulmates again._

_“Of course not!” Even with the garbled filter, you could hear offence in his tone. “(Y/N) I would never hurt you.”_

_“Then why are we here?”_

_“I need your help. It’s Castiel.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously things aren't perfect and Dean has a lot to make up for. 
> 
> He's a human being and humans are flawed. They make mistakes and that's okay.
> 
> We still love him though and the trio will be okay.


	34. Clipped His Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel leads our heroes to stop Castiel before he can open Purgatory. Things don't go as planned and Dean needs an intervention before his relationship with his soulmates crumbles. And where did Gabriel go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta advance that plot...  
> Unrelated to anything-I picked up my wedding dress last night and I'm so fucking excited! It's pink because I'm a grown ass woman and not a four year old at all.

“I’m getting really tired of these angel-dream alarm clocks.” Dean grumbled, rubbing his eyes as he slowly sat up. Sam mumbled an incoherent agreement, head shoved underneath a pillow. You rolled your eyes.

“Honestly if this is the worst thing going bump in the night for us, I count it as a win.” Yanking the pillows and blankets Sam had covered himself with onto the floor, you tapped the switch’s leg. “Rise and shine Sammy. We’ve got an appointment with some fine feathered friends.”

  
  
  


Gabriel paced back and forth through the living room. The harried archangel had arrived as soon as you and the boys had rubbed off the last sigil.

“So Castiel’s gone solo?” Sam’s face was scrunched up rather adorably. “Or is he with Crowley? I’m confused.”

“I wish I knew shortstack. All I know is that he’s figured out how to get at Purgatory. Balthazar will let me know as soon as he gets more information.”

“And why is this our problem?” Dean’s crossed arms and narrowed eyes might have been intimidating if he weren’t dressed in just a pair of boxers and some thick socks. “In case you’d forgotten, we aren’t exactly team angel right now.” He squeaked in offense when you elbowed him.

“Dean, they helped us find and save Lisa and Ben. Be mad if you need to but I think we owe them at this point. Besides,” you turned back to Gabriel. “It seems like Castiel’s little mission could spell bigger problems.”

“Undoubtedly.” You and the boys whirled around to see Balthazar standing near the fireplace. “We’re in a rather precarious situation. If Raphael isn’t defeated, the whole apocalyptic mess will start all over again. Castiel isn’t capable of defeating him and while he seems to think gulping down a few billion souls will solve the problem, in reality it will just make him a nuclear bomb in a cheap coat.”

“So what are we supposed to do?” Sam was pacing now too. “We need to get rid of Raphael but how the hell do we kill an archangel?” Gabriel cleared his throat.

“That’s where I come in…”

  
  
  


 

  
  


You had just finished getting dressed to leave when the doorbell rang. The angels always flew straight into whichever room you were in so you had no idea who could be at your doorstep. You ran down the stairs to see a familiar but ashen face.

“Uncle Bobby?”

  
  
  


Dean’s grip was tight on the wheel, tension buzzing through all three of your minds. Balthazar had given you the location of Castiel’s hideout before leaving, not wanting to arouse suspicion by being gone too long. Gabriel offered to ride with your uncle, keeping the mourning hunter company while you and the boys led the way. It turned out that Castiel’s spell required blood from a Purgatory native who just so happened to be an old friend of your uncle’s. Her death had made this a personal issue for him, and now it was a full quintet heading out to stop Castiel.

  
  
  
  


Castiel’s clubhouse was surrounded by angels. When the four humans nudged Gabriel forward to escort you in, he hesitated.

“What’s the hold up?” Dean’s hands were twitching at his sides and you sidled in closer, taking one of them and squeezing.

“These are not my friends.” Gabriel’s voice was laced with sadness. “They would attack me on sight and with my limited power, I wouldn’t stand a chance.” He turned a sad smile to you and the boys. “I may have neglected to tell you that I’m not so popular upstairs. Apparently being a conscientious objector in the first big war only puts you one step above Lucifer. Most angels see me as a traitor.” Dean and your uncle cursed angrily but you stepped closer to the archangel.

“Hold up-you told us that you could stop Raphael. How the hell are you supposed to do that if you can’t get past these guards?” Gabriel opened his mouth to reply before his eyes widened in terror, staring at the sky. You followed his gaze, seeing swirls of black smoke approaching quickly. “What’s that?”

“Nothing good.” Dean grabbed your arm with one hand, reaching for Sam with the other. “We need to get out of here.” The swirls of darkness were less than a mile away and there was nowhere to hide. Your uncle shook his head.

“No time. Duck and cover!” All of you dropped to the ground. The smoke had barely touched down before rumbles and inhuman shrieks filled the air. You opened your eyes, looking around to see angels and demons squaring off.

“Go! Now!” With the guards sufficiently distracted, the five of you ran to the building. Gabriel stopped at the doorway and dropped to his knees. Looking over his shoulder, you saw Balthazar’s body.

“He was stabbed with an angel blade.” Honey eyes shone with tears. “Castiel must have found out that he was helping us.”

“We don’t have time for this.” You uncle hauled Gabriel to his feet and shoved him through the door. “You can mourn later.” The archangel nodded, sparing one last look at his fallen brother before leading the way to where he could sense Castiel’s presence. 

  
  
  
  


Castiel wasn’t alone and you really shouldn’t have been surprised by who his company was.

“Cupcake. How lovely of you to join us.” Crowley gave you a sick smile before sneering at your companions. “Of course you had to bring the boy band as well.”

“Gabriel?” The imposing woman next to Crowley gasped. “Why are you here? Whose side are you on?” The former trickster smirked.

“Not yours, Raphael.” He approached Castiel, giving the seraph a pleading smile. “Cassie it doesn’t have to be this way. We can stop him without you risking yourself.”

“No.” The venom in Castiel’s voice was killed by the anguish in his eyes. “There is no other way.” Gabriel sighed and you felt something shift in the back of your mind. All of a sudden the archangel looked…wrong?  No one else seemed to notice though and you didn’t have long to speculate.

“I tire of this.” The woman, who you now knew was Raphael, turned to Crowley. “Do you mind? I prefer to keep my hands clean.”

“With pleasure.” Crowley grinned before sending you, the boys, and your uncle crashing into a wall. You felt Sam and Dean’s pain mixing with yours, the attack too sudden for any of you to muffle the bond. “The adults are talking now.” With another flick of his wrist, you felt your body lock in place. He made a fist and twisted his hand and Dean cried out, pain ripping through his being. “Castiel, give us the blood or your favorite pets die.”

“Leave Dean out of this!” Castiel snarled. The demon king shrugged and the pain receded from Dean’s mind just before Sam wailed, body fighting in an attempt  to curl up in agony against the invisible binds. The seraph grimaced and looked down at the jar of blood in his hands.

“Tick-tock, Castiel…” Sam fell silent and you braced yourself, knowing you were next. The echoes of pain you felt from the boys did little to prepare you from the torture of whatever the hell Crowley was doing. It was like your whole body was being compressed into nothingness but spread out enough to burst at the same time and you couldn’t hold back your screams. The sensation faded as your uncle shouted out in protest at his own torment. You could feel your heart pounding in your head and, as Castiel surrendered, you could have sworn something changed about the jar he handed over.

  
  
  


Watching Crowley conduct the ritual and being unable to move was infuriating. Castiel and Gabriel were easily held in place by Raphael, both struggling but failing to get free. The demon king was clearly relishing the spotlight, reciting the incantation dramatically. He finished on a note of grandeur, arms thrown out and head tilted back, eyes closed. 

 

Nothing happened.

 

He cracked one eye open and frowned. “Maybe I said it wrong?” You looked at your stunned soulmates. A low chuckle drew everyone’s attention to Gabriel.

“You said it perfectly.” The bound angel flickered then faded from sight and the air on the other side of the room rippled before Gabriel became visible again. “You just needed this.” He held up his own empty jar of blood. The air rippled again and you saw another painted seal on the wall, beginning to glow. “You’ve got some harmless dog blood over there. The real ammo’s with me. Thanks for saying the magic words though.”

“Gabriel!” Castiel ran across the room, Raphael’s hold broken by the shock.

“C’mon Cassie, did you really think I was going to let you blow yourself up? I might be weaker right now but I’m strong enough to hold those souls.” Pounding wind and blinding light flew from the wall and Gabriel turned to face it, spreading his arms wide to accept the souls. Castiel roared and shoved his brother away, taking the onslaught himself. The light grew brighter and you closed your eyes. When the light faded, Castiel stood in the middle of the room.

“Bollocks.” Crowley disappeared, leaving a terrified Raphael behind.

“Castiel…” The archangel backed away slowly. “You’d let a demon escape but not your own brother?” A lazy smirk passed over the seraph’s face.

“Crowley may still prove useful. You on the other hand…” He shrugged before snapping his fingers, causing Raphael to explode, their blood joining the seal on the wall.

 

Fear bubbled up inside you as the angel turned to look at you, Gabriel, your uncle, and your soulmates.

“And to think you doubted me…”

“Okay Cassie.” Gabriel stood slowly. “We were wrong.”

“Yeah, thanks Cas.” Dean was on his feet, leaning against the wall while Sam helped you up. “Now let’s get you defused.” Cerulean eyes filled with amusement.

“Why would we do that?” Dread crept through Dean’s mind as the seraph stepped forward. “Raphael had many followers and I must punish them severely. With this power, that should prove easy.”

“Cassie…” Gabriel’s voice was hoarse as he stared at his little brother in disbelief. “This isn’t safe. We need to remove those souls while we still can. This is more than any one angel can handle.” Castiel let out a harsh laugh and you shifted even closer to Sam in fear.

“That is unimportant now. I am no angel. I am your new god.” Castiel somehow seemed taller, his presence imposing. “You will kneel down and profess your love unto me, your lord or I shall destroy you.” 

  
  
  
  


You all stared in stunned silence. The quiet spell was broken by your uncle falling clumsily to his knees, shooting warning looks at you and the boys until you did the same. Gabriel however, remained standing.

“You are no God, Castiel.”

“You truly believe you can stop me? You? The battered shell of a former knight of Heaven, twisted and broken by centuries of betraying his own kind?” Gabriel flinched at the callus words before glaring, eyes shining gold.

“The only traitor here is you.” A high pitched ringing began to build in the room as Castiel stood toe to toe with the enraged archangel. 

“This is your final warning, Gabriel. Stand down or I will destroy you.”

“I’d like to see you try.” The ringing grew to unbearable levels and in a flash of white, the brothers were gone, leaving you, your uncle, and your soulmates frozen in shock.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“Quit it.” Dean’s rough growl startled you and you ducked your head. 

“Quit what?” Sam tilted his chin up defiantly.

“Quit looking at me like I’m a sneeze away from some kind of mental breakdown.” The dom had a point, though you weren’t sure how he knew the way you were looking at him when he had his back to both of you. 

As soon as the three of you arrived home, Dean had gone to work on the dryer hookup. You didn’t know much about installing dryers but you were pretty sure it didn’t require the amount of banging noises you’d heard that day. The dom had gone straight from that project to the backyard, deciding it needed a gazebo. You weren’t against an outdoor space to hang out but February seemed like an odd time to be building one. He had come inside for a drink of water (you had hidden the beer while he was occupied because the last thing any of you needed was Dean drinking his feelings) and now he was frozen in front of the sink, you and Sam in the doorway.

“We’re just worried about you.” You winced at Sam’s choice of words and stepped forward, placing a hand on Dean’s back.

“What Sam’s trying to say is that several shitty events have happened in close succession and we want to make sure you’re not bottling things up.” Dean’s shoulders slumped and you bit your lip. “It’s not pity if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“What would you call it then?” The dom sounded so tired and your heart ached.

“Love.” 

Dean snorted. “Such saps…”

  
  
  
  


While you and Sam were making progress with Dean, it was slow-going. The dom would say something out of nowhere (during breakfast he blurted out that he should have found a way to be Lucifer’s vessel since his soul was the broken one anyway) and you and Sam would be able to get a few words in before he would clam up and leave the room. Each time he let the conversation go on a little longer but things were never fully resolved. After three days of it, you called for backup.

 

“Bobby?” Dean stared incredulously at the man on the porch.

“You gonna stand there catching flies in your mouth or are you gonna let me in?" The older Winchester moved over, allowing his pseudo-father in. “Get your ass upstairs and change into something warmer. We’re going fishing.” Dean looked confused but followed the instructions, shooting you and Sam suspicious glances. You led your uncle to the kitchen and turned on the sink, hoping to drown out your conversation.

“Thanks for coming Uncle Bobby.”

“Don’t mention it. Though I don’t know why you think I’m going to be more helpful than his soulmates.” Sam gave you a  **_look_ ** indicating that the switch agreed and you rolled your eyes.

“Dean needs a manly man to tell him that manly men can have feelings. With us, he’s worried about being strong but he doesn’t have that pressure with you.” Hearing Dean’s feet on the stairs, you grabbed a glass and filled it, taking a sip to at least  partly explain the sound of water running. Dean’s raised eyebrow proved that he wasn’t buying your charade but he didn’t comment, giving you and Sam quick kisses before heading out with your uncle. Once they left, you hopped up on the counter so you could be eye level (or at least chin level) with your ridiculously tall soulmate. He came in closer, running his hands up and down your arms.

“So what are we going to do with ourselves for the next few hours?”

  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
  


Gabriel shouldn’t be alive. 

Not that he was unhappy about not being dead; the archangel preferred the concept of survival. 

But he really shouldn’t be alive.

He woke up to see a rather attractive nurse and for a split second, thought he was making another Casa Erotica film. That was before he heard the beeping of machines and felt the ache throughout his body. He tried to ask where he was, but all that came out was a scratchy gasp. She smiled at him pityingly.

“You’re at Central Baptist Hospital.” He blinked in surprise and she shrugged. “That’s usually the question people have when they wake up from a coma. You’ve been out for a few days now.” The nurse held a cup of water to his mouth and helped him take small sips. “Don’t drink too much, I don’t want you hurting yourself.” Once his throat felt less like a bowl of gravel, he tried speaking again.

“How did I get here?”

“We’re hoping you can tell us. A farmer called 911 saying there was a beat up naked man passed out in his hen-house. Apparently you crushed some eggs.” She picked up a clipboard and began writing down numbers flashing across the monitors. “Can you tell me your name? I’m guessing it’s not actually John Doe.”

“Gabriel. My name is Gabriel.”

“Well Gabriel, you’re lucky to be alive.”

_ Isn’t that an understatement… _

  
  
  
  


The fish weren’t biting but Bobby didn’t mind. It was probably for the best as he didn’t actually want to catch anything. The activity was just an excuse to get Dean out alone, something the younger man was clearly aware of as he hadn’t even bothered baiting his hook.

“So who called you? I know it was one of them.” The dom stared out at the lake. “I knew I was annoying them.”

“You idjit…” Bobby shook his head. “You aren’t annoying anyone except me right now. They did call me but only because they wanted to help you. Sounds like you’ve been a bit quiet about everything that’s happened.”

“I’ve told them enough.” Dean squared his shoulders. “Hell, I’ve told them more than I want them to know. It’s not their job to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

“Now that’s just plain bullshit.” Bobby rolled his eyes. “Son, there’s no shame in having emotions. That’s how you know you’re still human. And your soulmates want to know how you’re feeling and help. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

“I know exactly how lucky I am.” Dean’s voice was rough with emotion. “I also know how unlucky Sammy and (Y/N) are. They’re the sweetest, kindest, most amazing people in the world and they’re saddled with me for a soulmate.” He shifted, causing their boat to rock a bit. “I live every day knowing that I’m dragging those two down. I wish I could walk away and let them have a shot at a happy normal life but I’m too selfish. Besides,” the dom chuckled bitterly. “Knowing what’s out there… There’s no way I could leave them unprotected.” The boat rocked more violently as Bobby whirled around and smacked the back of Dean’s head.

“Boy I ought to toss you in the lake! You ain’t dragging anyone down except yourself.” Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Bobby looking this angry. “I don’t know where you got this idea that you’re dirty but it’s baloney. The only thing wrong with you is that you’re so caught up in being a man, you forget to be a person.” The older Winchester opened his mouth to protest but-at a warning glare from his mentor-shut it again. “You don’t have to carry so much, Dean. It’s okay to take care of yourself and to lean on the people who love you. I thought you would have learned your lesson after what happened to (Y/N).”

“You know about that?” Dean felt his heartbeat pick up as he realized that Bobby very well could have brought him out here to drown him for what he did to the man’s niece.

“Yeah I know. You messed up, son. If you were anyone else I would have killed you by now.” Bobby sighed. “Look, bottling things up and keeping a poker face doesn’t do you any good. Sam and (Y/N) want to help you just as much as you want to help them. They need it. I seem to remember you giving me crap about getting in the way of their needs back when Sam had to go down at my house. If you don’t start trusting them to catch you, it’ll just poison the relationship.”

Dean had no words. Deep down, he knew the older hunter was right. He was just so scared of letting go.

  
  
  
  


You and Sam were wise enough not to say anything when your dom returned from his fishing trip. His mind was a whirlwind and you pretended not to know that while he was staring at the television, he wasn’t paying any attention to the program. It looked like your uncle had given him a lot to think about and you could only hope that he would come to a conclusion that led to more trust in the relationship. 

  
  
  
  


_ STOP THIS! _ Castiel pleaded silently as his vessel carried out acts of violence beyond anything else he had done on Earth. The seraph slammed harder against the walls of his mind, fighting to regain control over his body but it was no use. He was forced to watch as his hands slaughtered dozens of innocents.  _ Please stop! Please release me!  _ His begging brought about no change and the angel could only watch as the violence continued. The moment those souls entered him, Castiel had lost all control over his vessel. Not only was he unable to govern his own movements, he couldn’t leave the vessel either. The angel was well and truly trapped, a feeling he had never experienced before but definitely hated.

As hard as it was to watch these people bleed and scream and die, it was nothing compared to the look on Gabriel’s face when Castiel had beaten him to a pulp. Betraying his brother had been agonizing, the archangel’s honey eyes had been filled with a level of fear and sadness unlike anything Castiel had ever seen. As he watched the light fade from another victim’s eyes, Castiel felt his last bit of pride go with it. The angel was not strong enough. He needed help.

He prayed that his cry for help would not go unanswered.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


_ Sunlight warmed Dean’s face as he dozed, hammock swinging lightly in the summer breeze. Just as he was beginning to nod off into a deeper sleep, he heard a familiar voice. _

_ “Dean!” The hunter sat straight up, almost flipping out of the hammock in alarm as he took in the sight of a bloody and battered angel. _

_ “Cas? What the hell?” Dean looked around, realizing that the edges of his vision were blurry. “Am I dead?” _

_ “Not dead, just dreaming.” _

_ “What is it with you angels and invading peoples’ dreams? It’s all kinds of rude.”  _

_ “I apologize Dean. Trust me, I wouldn’t be doing this if there were any other way.” The angel clutched his side, wincing in pain. “As it is, I am barely able to maintain a presence here.” _

_ “Then go. I don’t remember inviting you anyway.” Dean’s gruff dismissal turned to a startled gasp when Castiel actually sobbed. _

_ “Dean… I know that I am not deserving of your forgiveness. I have disobeyed you, betrayed you, and endangered you and your mates.” Cerulean eyes locked with green. “Despite all of my sins, I am hoping you can find it in your heart to help me once more. The Purgatory souls have taken control of my vessel and I cannot stop them from massacring as they see fit. If you help me eject them, I swear you will never have to see me again.” _

_ “Cas…” Dean got out of the hammock and approached his friend, searching the angel’s eyes for a minute before pulling him into a tight hug. “Tell me how to help you.” _

  
  
  


You whined in protest when the warm body you had been curled around moved.

“Dee s’too early… G’back to sleep…” The dom chuckled indulgently and kissed your forehead.

“Sorry sweetheart but I have to go. Cas needs my help.” Immediately, you were wide awake. Sam snapped out of his half-asleep state as well.

“Cas? As in the new god Castiel?” Dean nodded and Sam blinked a few times before sliding out of bed. “Okay… What’s the plan?”

  
  
  
  


“This feels like a bad idea.” You glanced at the boys nervously. “Won’t the soul-pilots know we’re coming?”

“Cas said they couldn’t follow him into my dream.” Dean looked disturbed at the idea of other beings getting in his head. “They might know we’re planning something, but they don’t know what.”

The plan wasn’t great, but it was the best you could do in such a short amount of time. Castiel had given Dean instructions for creating a suitable tranquilizer that should knock him out for a couple of hours-long enough to reopen Purgatory. There was no eclipse tonight but it was a new moon which should have a similar, albeit weaker effect. At first, it seemed like you had succeeded. Castiel screamed as light burst forth from his body, shocking him into wakefulness. After what felt like forever, the light faded and the portal closed. The angel’s knees buckled and Dean was quick to catch him.

“Hey man, you okay?” Castiel nodded, taking a couple of deep breaths. “You really scared us Cas.” A sick smirk passed over the angel’s face and he snapped up, shoving Dean back.

“Cas isn’t in right now.” Dean swallowed hard, angling himself between his soulmates and the possessed angel. “He’s been dead for a while now, just like Gabriel. No more mommy and daddy angel to protect you.” Sam’s shoulders tensed and you reached for the revolver in your waistband, knowing it probably wouldn’t be much use.

“Having a rough time there buddy?” Dean’s shaky voice betrayed the confidant look on his face. “You look like you’ve sprung a leak.” Black liquid oozed out of every orifice on the former angel’s face and he sneered.

“This body cannot hold us much longer but that is of little import.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared, reappearing only a few feet away.

“What’s the matter? Wings clipped?” Your quip earned you an icy glare before the angel turned and left the building. For a weakened being, he was surprisingly fast and before you or the boys could catch up, Castiel’s body was waist deep in the municipal water supply. He spared Dean one last hateful glance before dissolving into the water, inky blackness spreading in his wake before fading. The three of you stared at the rippling reservoir in silence for a moment. Eventually, Sam cleared his throat. 

“We should probably get a sample of the water or something, see what’s going on.” When neither of you responded, the switch turned and saw you staring at Dean who was staring at Castiel’s trenchcoat, floating a few feet away. “Dean?” The dom nodded slowly, dumping out his flask and filling it with the contaminated water. Flask in one hand and coat in the other, the dom led you and Sam back to the car in silence.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Leviathans…” You leaned back in your chair across from your uncle. After Castiel’s swimming trip, you and the boys had stopped at the Singer house to try and figure out what you were dealing with. “And what is a Leviathan?”

“I’m still working on that.” Your uncle used a pencil to scratch the back of his neck. “So far I just know that they’re also called ‘old ones’. Not much to go on.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Sam came in, handing your uncle a beer and taking a seat next to you. “We really appreciate the help.” You kept your eyes on the door, hoping that your other soulmate would follow. Sam put a hand over yours. “He’s outside… Said he wanted to be alone.” You whined and leaned against Sam, wishing your dom trusted you enough to open up.

“That boy still being an emotional Alcatraz?” Your uncle rolled his eyes. “I swear you kids are going to send me to an early grave with all of your drama.” Seeing the pain on your face, he changed his expression from teasing to serious. “He’ll come around (Y/N), just give him time. Dean spent his whole life being told that it’s his job to take care of everyone else. That kind of thing doesn’t get unlearned overnight.” You nodded and yawned, leaning heavier into your soulmate’s embrace.

“Are you feeling okay sweetheart?” Sam placed his fingers on your forehead. “You’ve been really tired lately.”

“I dunno…” You nuzzled into the hand, closing your eyes. “Just very sleepy.” Unfocused eyes blinked up into hazel and the switch smiled, loving when you were sleepy and sweet and soft like this, though he was worried about how often he’d seen this version of you as of late. “Is naptime?”

“Sure baby.” He lifted you into his lap so you could bury your face in his neck. Warm hands ran up and down your back, lulling you into a deep sleep.

  
  
  
  
  


Sixth can of redbull halfway empty, you scowled at your pile of books. So far, the most you’d been able to find on Leviathans was an old Abrahamic legend about a sea monster and that didn’t seem to jive with what you’d seen. Despite the excessive, and frankly dangerous, amount of caffeine in your system, you were still struggling to keep your eyes open.  _ Maybe I’ve just been sitting too long…  _ You got up and stretched before changing into some workout clothes, shouting out that you were going for a run before taking off. You made it just under two miles before your body gave out and you collapsed, unconscious before you hit the ground.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

“Shouldn’t (Y/N) be back by now?” Dean asked. “She doesn’t usually run for more than an hour or so tops.” Sam checked his watch and raised his eyebrows, realizing you had been gone for over three hours. He was about to suggest looking along your usual route when Dean’s phone rang. “Hello?” Fear raced through Dean’s end of the bond and Sam stood, looking at his brother anxiously. “Is she okay? Where is she?” Dean scrawled out a note, nodding. “We’ll be right there. He hung up and turned anxious eyes to his brother. “(Y/N) passed out a couple miles away. She’s in the hospital.” Texting Bobby a half-assed explanation, the boys ran out the door, speeding to Sioux Falls General.

  
  
  
  
  


Bobby Singer was no connoisseur of fine cuisine but even he knew that protein bars were crap. He was choking a second one down when his personal phone rang. As he listened to Jody Mills’ description of her monster doctor, the hunter felt his heart stop. Of all the places for his niece to be right now...

  
  
  


You smiled weakly up at your soulmates. Sam immediately sat on the edge of your hospital bed, taking one of your hands in his.

“Babygirl?” Dean asked with a hint of warning. “What happened?”

“I downed a fuckton of caffeine but still couldn’t stay awake.” You shrugged. “Figured maybe if I got my heart going, it would help. I swear I would have called you guys if I could have but I was out before I knew what was happening.” The dom’s jaw stiffened. “You’re not going for runs by yourself anymore.”

“We can have this conversation later.” The three of you looked to the door where your uncle was standing with wide eyes. “Right now, we’ve got to get the hell out of this hospital.”

“Why?” He huffed impatiently at Sam’s question.

“There’s Leviathans on payroll. I just busted Sheriff Mills out of here. She’s waiting back at a safehouse.”

“Mind taking me with you?” A familiar voice sounded from behind the curtain blocking off the other side of your room. Dean strode quickly over, pulling the curtain back to see a sheepish archangel.

“Gabriel?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really excited about what's coming next. We're going to have more Dean feelings and I'm pretty sure there will be more smut soon.
> 
> Also my boss at my internship asked me to write a little bio about myself for the organization's staff page on the website then told me I was a good writer and asked if I'd ever thought about publishing...all I could think about was writing porn.
> 
> Also also I'm working on another prequel kinda thing. There were some requests for first time Sam and Dean so that should be coming soonish.


	35. Marking Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking Leviathans...  
> Jody is a badass  
> Lots of plot with a side of feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this all the time but thank you all for your comments/kudos. I love hearing what you are all thinking.

The safehouse wasn’t as gross as some of the motels you and the boys had stopped in, but just barely. Your uncle explained that the Leviathan doctor he had encountered knew who he was. It seemed like living inside Castiel for a time meant the Leviathans knew everything the angel knew. Sam and Dean had gone back home to grab a few necessities and saw signs of intruders. Dean had actually cried, devastated that his home and safe place had been violated. It was the same case at Bobby and Jody’s houses, leaving the five of you pretty much stuck in the tiny cabin together until further notice.

Such close quarters meant that Bobby, Jody, and Gabriel all witnessed the dom’s moment of vulnerability and you were torn over whether to be glad that he was opening up or heartbroken that he was so upset that he was willing to show weakness in front of so many other people. 

The only upside (if you could even call it that) was Gabriel’s presence. The archangel knew plenty about Leviathans, giving the rest of you something to go off. He had also been the one to suggest using Castiel’s tranquilizer recipe to capture and restrain one of the goonies that had been lurking outside Jody’s house. The shitbag was in the basement, held in chains with a steady drip of the tranquilizer going through its veins. Unfortunately, Gabriel had no idea how to kill the creature and it was quickly building up a tolerance to Castiel’s formula, which didn’t have much of an extended effect to begin with. Bobby spent most of his time in the basement testing different extermination tactics.

 

You and Gabriel were essentially on bedrest. Neither of you had much in the way of strength, and it turned out your ailments were connected. Gabriel explained that the only reason he was even alive was because a tiny bit of his grace was still attached to you. He had been unknowingly draining you to heal himself, something he apologized profusely for. While Sam and Dean were furious, you weren’t that bothered. Sure, you had never planned on playing horcrux for an archangel but Gabriel was a powerful ally and it wasn’t like he was killing you. If a few weeks of downtime was all it took to get the big guns fired up and back on your side, you were happy to do it. Plus, you could usually get one or both of your boys to come cuddle with you, something you were enjoying immensely. Until Bobby found a way to kill the creature in the basement, there wasn’t much else to do. 

 

That all changed when breaking news hit. You watched in sick horror as the two men on either side of you slaughtered a bank full of innocent people.

“What the actual fuck?” You turned to Dean in alarm. “How is that even happening?” On your other side, you could feel Sam trembling in rage. Knowing the switch’s possessive streak, he was probably most angry about someone or something stealing Dean’s appearance.

“I don’t know.” Dean got up and stormed to the basement. “But I know someone who might.”

  
  


The captive Leviathan called himself Chet. He liked to talk, just not about anything particularly useful. 

“I don’t know why you’re here talking to me.” He glanced at the IV Sam had set up. “This won’t hold me much longer. I’m gonna get out soon and I’ve been told that I’m not a great houseguest. Tend to get a little bitey.”

“Yeah that’s sweet and I bet Miss Manners would love to hear all about it.” Dean pulled a stool up so he could look Chet in the eyes. “Right now though, you’re going to tell me why my brother and I have apparently shot up a bank.” The Leviathan cackled.

“That make the news already? Awesome!” Dean’s face remained blank and he sighed. “Really numbnuts? Isn’t it obvious? We snatched up your DNA and now your sweet asses are ours.” He smirked. “We can wear the skin of whoever we want sweetcheeks.” Sam’s anger was what alerted Dean to the fact that his brother had joined him in the basement.

“Why though? Why bother using us as disguises?”

“It’s to flush you out.” Dean wasn’t expecting your voice and turned around to see you leaning on the railing. “The FBI wants you guys now and it’s not like you can stop these shitheads from a prison cell.”

“Ding ding ding! At least someone here has a brain!” Chet winked at you and Dean kicked the Leviathan in the shin.

“Alright kids, out of the way.” Your uncle walked in, holding a syringe filled with a mysterious green liquid. “Q&A’s over.” Dean kicked the prisoner again before carrying you back upstairs and flopping down on the couch, grabbing Sam’s hand and yanking the switch down as well. Gabriel looked up from the TV but, noting the scowl on Dean’s face, was wise enough to keep quiet.

  
  
  


As the days dragged on, Sam and Dean’s doppelgangers continued to terrorize the country. You had been tracking every incident on a map but couldn’t for the life of you figure out the pattern. It wasn’t until the fifth massacre that Sam put the puzzle together.

“They’re hitting places we’ve worked jobs in. In order.” Dean’s head snapped up in attention and he strode quickly across the room, peering at the map.

“That means St. Louis is next…” He glanced at Sam. “What do you say we pay our stunt doubles a visit?” You froze at the idea of your soulmates trying to fight these creatures without any real plan. Sam picked up on your fear and squeezed your hand.

“I know you don’t like it (Y/N) but we can’t just sit back and let them kill people.” You whined and buried your face in Dean’s shirt. Sam was right but that didn’t make it suck any less.

“Will you at least wait a little bit longer to see if Uncle Bobby comes up with anything?” The boys looked hesitant and your voice turned to straight pleading. “Wait until morning. Just stay with me tonight. Please?” You felt Dean’s sigh of reluctant agreement and began formulating a plan for how to spend what you hoped wouldn’t be your last night with your soulmates.

  
  
  
  
  


“(Y/N) what is this?” Dean’s eyebrows shot up at the tent you had asked Sam to set up in the backyard. “We’ve got a perfectly good bed inside the house.”

“First of all,” you fluffed out a sleeping bag. “We need to improve your standards because that lumpy pull out sofa is not ‘perfectly good’. Second, there’s no privacy inside that cabin and the things I’ve got planned for tonight shouldn’t be happening in close proximity to my uncle.”

“What do you have planned babygirl?” Dean licked his lips at your dirty grin.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out. Now go get us more blankets, I’m freezing my tits off.”

  
  
  


It was rare that you took the reigns in bed and the boys always found the experience thrilling. They had stripped down as you’d requested and were laid out bare before you, a truly delicious sight.

“You two are gorgeous, you know that?” Dean blushed and looked away while Sam wriggled happily at the praise. “It’s a miracle I can keep my hands off you for a minute.” You ran a hand down each of their torsos, stopping just centimeters from where they were already hard and leaking before bringing your fingers back up again. “Now what am I going to do with you…?” You winked before leaning down and biting Sam’s collarbone hard. He yelped and you ran a soothing hand down his arm. “Stay still Sammy.” The switch mostly obeyed, twitching a bit as you continued to suck and bite until a dark purple bruise had formed. Leaning back, you smiled at your work before diving back down to give Dean a similar treatment.

It wasn’t until the boys had ten or so marks on them each that you stopped. Dean leaned up on one elbow and raked his eyes over Sam’s decorated body.

“Damn…” He raised an eyebrow. “What did we do to earn this?” You blushed.

“Seeing those... _ things _ wearing your faces… It pisses me off.” You glared at Dean. “You guys are  **_mine_ ** .” The dom full on laughed.

“And here I thought Sammy was the possessive one. You’re giving him a run for his money babygirl.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you forward. “Thank you for marking us up so pretty. Now it’s our turn.”

Even though you were still technically healing, you wouldn’t let the boys go easy. By the time you rolled out of the tent the next morning, all three of you wore bruises and lovebites and scratches. You cried unashamedly when the boys started up the car, begging again to come with them.

“Sweetheart you know that you need to rest right now.” Dean hated how devastated you looked. “I promise that we’ll be okay. Sammy and I will come back to you.”

As you watched the car fade into the distance, you prayed he was right.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Turns out the boys maybe shouldn’t have stayed that night. The imposters had shot up a diner and were now headed for Iowa. Guilt hit you in the gut and once again, you begged the boys to let you meet up with them, arguing that it was now partially your fault that people got hurt.

“(Y/N) you aren’t going anywhere.” Dean’s tone was just this side of commanding. “You are going to stay there and rest. I expect you to be ship shape when we get back.” You knew that the dom wasn’t going to budge and didn’t want to push him into issuing a real order. Now, you were watching with interest as Jody stormed through the cabinet with a bucket and sponge.

“You okay?” Her eyes were a little wild when she looked up at you and you flinched back ever so slightly.

“No I’m not okay. I’m trapped in this cabin. I can’t go home, I can’t go to work, I can’t even tell my friends where I am!” She shoved rubber gloves onto her hands and got down on the floor. “So I’m going to do what I can do and clean this fucking shack!” Not waiting to further enrage the domestic warrior, you curled up, pretending to enjoy the episode of Doctor Sexy Gabriel had put on. A few minutes later, there was a loud clatter.

“SHIT!” Jody shot to her feet, cleaning solution all over the floor. “Dammit!” You got up and went to get towels. They fell to the floor though when you turned around and saw your uncle grab Jody’s face and kiss her hard.

“What the fuck Uncle Bobby?!” He didn’t even acknowledge you, staring at the sheriff in awe.

“What’s in that bucket?”

  
  
  
  
  


The joy at finding a cure was short-lived as another breaking news bulletin confirmed that Sam and Dean had been taken into custody. Your calls to the boys’ phones yielded no results and while they were trying to project a sense of calm over the bond, you could feel their panic.

“Gabriel, I need a favor.” The archangel raised an eyebrow when he saw you wearing a skirt suit and holding a squirt gun.

“Not really the best weather for a water fight, kiddo.”

“I need you to zap me to where Sam and Dean are. They’re locked up and vulnerable and don’t know how to stop those things from having Winchester for dinner.”

“You sure you want to go? I seem to remember green eyes telling you to stay put. Besides, you’re still a little wobbly.” You rolled your eyes.

“One-since when do you care about following orders?” Gabriel nodded in acknowledgment. “And two-I only need to hose some monsters down. I think I can do that.” The archangel needed little convincing and before you knew it, you were in a police station. Stashing a backup bottle of cleaning solution, you straightened your skirt and made your way to the back offices, fake FBI badge in hand.

  
  


Dean paced his cell angrily. Not only was he trapped and defenseless, he’d been separated from Sam. Nothing put him on edge more than knowing his soulmates were in danger but not being able to even see them. He froze at the sound of a familiar-but unexpected-scream.  _ That wasn’t Sam…  _

 

“(Y/N)!” You looked over and saw Sam sitting in an interrogation room. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m saving your ass is what I’m doing here.” You strode over quickly, pulling your hairpin out and starting to pick the lock on Sam’s cuffs.

“Sammy, (Y/N), let’s get out of here!” Sam breathed a sigh of relief when Dean came through the door. You smiled at your dom then frowned. The older Winchester looked handsome as ever, except his neck was missing the bruise you had left. You glared and dropped your hairpin, raising the tiny squirt gun you had stashed in the hidden pocket of your jacket.

“That’s not Dean.” Both Sam and not-Dean stared in confusion at the neon green weapon. You squeezed the plastic trigger, heart sinking when a pathetic few drops dribbled out and the trigger broke. “Fuck…” Not-Dean smirked and lunged, grabbing you by the neck and hoisting you off the ground. You screamed in horror as his face changed from the man you loved to a terrifying monster. Just before it could bite you, it reared back, shrieking and dropping you to the floor. You looked up and saw a freed Sam holding pieces of dripping squirt gun over the beast’s head while its skin sizzled and burned. Rubbing your throat, you gasped out. “Chop its head off!” Sam’s eyes darted about wildly, landing on an emergency axe. He smashed the glass protecting the tool before swinging it at the creature’s neck. The two of you took a moment to stare at the lifeless body that looked so much like your dom before a shocked gasp startled you into awareness. An older man stood motionless in the doorway.

“What the hell was that thing?”

“It’s kind of complicated.” You smiled at him. “Where’s the janitor’s closet?”

  
  
  


The drive back was less tense than you thought it would be. The boys surprisingly weren’t that angry with you for disobeying which worked out well because you weren’t sorry. Apart from some gentle chiding, Dean didn’t push the issue, more concerned with the apparent kryptonite Jody had discovered. The three of you laughed at the idea of a monster being taken out by simple household chores.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


The pull out sofa was shitty but having your soulmates on either side of you again made it heavenly and that night you slept like a baby.

  
  
  


The next morning, Jody pulled Dean aside, asking him to go with her on a walk. They were gone for hours and you weren’t sure what they talked about but Dean returned with reddened eyes, grabbing first Sam then you for the sweetest kiss of your life. When he let you go, you looked up to see Jody with a knowing smile.

  
  


Whatever she’d said had really gotten through to Dean, the dom more open than he’d ever been before. While before he would drop bombshells and walk out, he was now talking through his demons and listening to you and Sam when you responded. He seemed less concerned with showing weakness, even confessing to being afraid of spiders. Things certainly weren’t perfect, you knew that he was still having nightmares that he refused to talk about, but it really seemed like Dean was making progress.

 

The biggest breakthrough and the moment that convinced you that something had changed was when Dean pulled a shoebox out of the closet. Inside was Castiel’s coat which he had painstakingly cleaned and mended. Eyes downcast, he explained that he wanted to have it ready for if Castiel ever came back. Jody, amazing woman that she was, immediately set to work on the more stubborn stains that Dean couldn’t remove. While you and Sam both wondered if it was really healthy for Dean to keep talking about the angel returning, you had to admit that this was a level of vulnerability that your soulmate never would have shown before.

 

After two more weeks of laying low, it looked like the old policeman had kept his word. Sam and Dean Winchester were effectively dead and news outlets moved on to their next big story. Gabriel was also finally healed. The archangel still felt guilty for leeching off of you and as part of his apology, he set up a barrier around your, Bobby, and Jody’s homes. While it couldn’t keep everything out, the addresses were now secret unless directly shared by one of the residents. Even with Castiel’s former knowledge, the Leviathans couldn’t find you unless you sent them an invite. It was an incredible gift to have the safety of your home restored and every single one of you had thanked the angel profusely. You all went your separate ways with Gabriel electing to stay in the safe house for the time being. He, like Dean, still held out hope for Castiel’s return and wanted to stay close to where the seraph had last been seen alive.

  
  
  


Opening the door to your house, you felt a lightness in your heart that hadn’t been there since before Sam went to the cage. Sure, the world was going to shit but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Your bond with your soulmates was stronger than ever and there was an archangel on your side. For the first time in a long time, you actually liked your odds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be dirty. Also we're almost at a place that I've been writing for weeks now. Not to spoil anything, but virgins are hard to write.
> 
> Speaking of virgins-that first time Sam/Dean thing is about halfway done. Not sure yet when I'll post that but keep your eyes peeled.


	36. My First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When another hunter calls for backup, Reader gets a blast from the past. Sam has a hard time dealing with the fact that someone else has slept with his girl.  
> Later, Dean has a LOT of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a later chapter but it's the one that I wanted to write so here we are. The pure crack/medical kink/smut party will just have to be delayed.
> 
> Warning for safeword use? I guess that merits a warning but it's not anywhere near the same as it was last time. Also warning for underage maybe? It's two teenagers so nothing illegal is occurring.  
> Also I know I'm messing with ages but I give zero fucks.
> 
> Also also I don't care about unrealistic refractory periods.
> 
> Final also-virgins are hard to write. I've never slept with someone inexperienced so I was kind of guessing here.

The three of you pulled up to a bar. Your uncle had tipped you off to a case that had another hunter stumped though, according to Bobby, this guy you were meeting up with was a moron. In all fairness to the other hunter, it sure sounded strange. Multiple people had died in freak accidents after even freakier lucky breaks and there was seemingly nothing connecting any of them. When you walked in and started scanning the tables, you immediately knew who the mystery man was. 

“Garth?!” The scrawny man nearly choked on his Shirley Temple in surprise.

“(Y/N)?! Well shit, look at you!” He jumped to his feet and the two of you hugged. Jealousy flared in the back of your mind and you looked over your shoulder to see two suspicious Winchesters. Rolling your eyes, you tugged your friend over to the suddenly surly men.

“Garth, these are my soulmates, Sam and Dean.” You raised your eyebrows in warning at the boys. “Guys, this is Garth. We were friends growing up.” Garth slung an arm around your shoulders and stuck the other one out. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” His smile was replaced by a wince of pain as first Dean, then Sam shook his hand a little too aggressively and you sent your soulmates a pulse of annoyance.

“Cool it you two. I’m allowed to have male friends.” The brothers looked sufficiently chastised and you breathed a sigh of relief. 

Unfortunately, Garth was never great at knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

“Yeah don’t worry amigos. (Y/N) and I haven’t slept together in years.”

_ “ _ **WHAT?!** ”

 

_...dammit Garth…..idjit….. _

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m telling you guys, it wasn’t like that.” You glared at your soulmates. As soon as Garth spilled the beans, Sam had grabbed you and Dean and dragged you to the motel room you were staying in. Now the brothers were firing off jealousy and aggression, Dean pacing and Sam methodically cleaning his guns. “Garth and I are friends. That’s it.”

“You fuck all your friends?” Dean winced at the venom in Sam’s voice and the hurt on your face.

  
  


> _ “You’re sure you want to do this?” Garth’s voice was wobbly as he watched you strip down to your underwear and bra. “I’m not pressuring you or anything right?” You snorted. _
> 
> _ “For fuck’s sake Garth this was my idea.” Pulling your hair down from the ponytail you’d done up that morning, you squinted at him. “Do you feel pressured?” His eyes widened and he shook his head wildly, scooting forward on the bed. He had already shucked most of his clothing, sitting on top of your quilt in his boxers. _
> 
> _ “No way! I definitely want to do this.” You bit your lip and started to unclasp your bra but stopped when he coughed. “Could...could I do that?” You felt a funny fluttering in your stomach as your friend reached shaky hands out and began fumbling with the hooks. Several awkward struggle sounds later, Garth groaned and dropped his head to your shoulder. “How am I already doing so bad?” _
> 
> _ “It’s okay, you’re doing fine. That’s why we’re practicing right?” You guided his hands, showing him how to undo one hook. “See it’s easy once you get the hang of it.” The other sub nodded and released the other two hooks with less finesse than you had but still smoother than his first attempt. The undergarment fell to the floor and you blushed when he gaped at your bare chest. _
> 
> _ “Wow…” Garth’s adam’s apple bobbed and he reached a tentative hand out, pulling it back nervously just before his fingers met your skin and you rolled your eyes. _
> 
> _ “Garth seriously it’s okay. You’re allowed to touch.” The boy looked equally amazed and terrified which was not helping your own nerves. Figuring one of you had to take the plunge, you grabbed his hand and forced him to hold a breast. He blinked a few times before moving his hand, focusing his attention on your nipple. The contact was strange. You weren’t sure what you had been expecting necessarily but it wasn’t the tickle that twisted something in your belly. When he brought his other hand up to pluck at both of your nipples, you gasped and leaned into the touch. Emboldened by the positive reaction, Garth leaned forward and took one pebbled peak into his mouth. The tickly feelings grew, making your skin feel almost electric. Knees buckling from the new sensations, you pulled away from your friend’s mouth and crawled up onto the bed. There was a tent forming in his underwear and you blushed. _
> 
> _ “Was that...was that good?” You had never heard Garth sound so unsure of himself. _
> 
> _ “Yeah it was good. It kind of tickles but in a nice way.” You grabbed one of his hands, lacing your fingers through his. “I know that we hadn’t really talked about it but how do you feel about kissing a little bit? I want to be good at that too.” He nodded and leaned forward, urging you to lay on your back. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had kissed as you had practiced a few times during family camping trips but it had never been like this before. This time was all warm skin and tingly feelings, spreading all through your body. When you opened your mouth for his tongue to dip in, Garth whined and you felt his hips stutter against yours, erection poking you in the thigh.  _

  
  


“Not all of us grew up knowing our soulmates, Sam.” You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs. “Most people’s first time is with someone else.” 

Deep down, both boys knew you were right and that they were being unreasonable. Subs especially tended to lose their virginity to friends. It was expected and almost recommended to ‘practice’ with someone safe. That didn’t mean that they were happy to meet the man who had you first though. 

“We’re not working this case. Someone else can do it.” Dean tried to keep his voice calm but you could hear the excessive testosterone and huffed.

“You’re being dicks, you know that? It’s not like I’m the only woman you’ve slept with.” Sure, Dean hadn’t been with anyone apart from his soulmates but you knew Sam had been involved with someone when he was at school.

“Jess was different!” Sam glared at you. “She was a service sub. It’s nowhere near the same thing (Y/N) and you know it!”

“Dean stop it!” You grabbed the bag your dom had started packing. “We’re not leaving Garth to figure this out on his own. You two need to just get over it.”

“We are leaving.” Sam stalked closer and for the first time since he’d got his soul back, you were actually a little afraid of his towering form. “It’s not up for debate.” Forcing down the instinct to obey, you fixed Sam with your iciest glare.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Hazel eyes narrowed and you fought the urge to step back.

“ **(Y/N), we’re leaving. Now.** ” Your jaw dropped as Sam tried to use _that_ fucking voice.

“Fuck you Sam!”

  
  


> _ You put your hands on Garth's shoulders and pushed him back, rolling over so that you were on top. His eyes grew even wider when he realized what your goal was as you began trailing kisses down from his lips over his neck and chest (discovering that his nipples weren’t nearly as sensitive as yours) and torso. When you reached the waistband of his underwear, you looked up at him in question and he nodded, lifting his hips so you could pull the boxers down. _
> 
> _ So that’s what a penis looks like… You had seen diagrams in your classes at school and had definitely watched a bit of porn but the real thing was much different. Gath’s dick was like the rest of him, long and thin. He grunted when you wrapped a hand around him. _
> 
> _ “Loosen your grip a little...that’s better.” You followed his instructions, trying to commit everything to memory so that you would know what to do the first time you were with a dom. “Try twisting a little bit at the end-shit! Just like that!” Garth’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he shoved your hand away. You looked up in alarm. _
> 
> _ “Oh my God did I hurt you?” He laughed and shook his head. _
> 
> _ “No (Y/N) that was really good. It was too good. I want to make sure we get to practice everything. If you make me cum now I could probably only go again one more time.” You nodded and settled yourself back over the other teenager. _
> 
> _ “Okay well then there’s something I want to do. Can I try sucking you?” Garth’s cock twitched at the question and you hid your snicker. He nodded wildly and watched almost in disbelief as you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, groaning and letting his head fall back against the pillows. It seemed like you were on the right track so you opened your mouth a bit wider and took a little more of him in. You knew that there was no way you could fit something that long in your mouth all at once so you decided to try employing  the twisting motion that your hand had been doing before. This turned out to be a good move as Garth moaned and jerked his hips, accidentally forcing himself deeper. You pulled your head back, coughing a little and guilt immediately swept across your bedmate’s face. _
> 
> _ “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you!” You brushed aside his concern and resumed your previous activities, this time keeping your hands on his hips to hold him in place. Garth’s hands fisted the quilt underneath him as he started to babble. “Oh shit oh fuck (Y/N) that’s really good! I’m gonna cum fuck! If you don’t want it in your mouth get off now!” You let him go with a pop and went back to using your hand, watching in amazement as his face reddened, eyes wide. Garth made a loud strangled sound before white shot out of his cock, pooling on his belly and hitting you in the arm. You kept stroking him until he whined and pushed your hand away. As he lay there shaking, you felt pride bubble up in your stomach. You had done well enough to give him an orgasm and you wiggled happily. Garth grinned and sat up, pushing you onto your back again. “Okay, my turn.” He ran his hands down your body, thumbs nervously hooking under the waistband of your panties and pulling them slowly down your legs. You bit your lip nervously and spread your thighs a bit more. Garth took a deep breath, seemingly gathering his courage before he crouched down between your legs, looking at that part of you for the first time. _
> 
>   
>    
> 

“So… Crossroads demon collecting early?” You frowned. “Can they even do that?” Garth shrugged.

“I guess so.” He raised his eyebrows as you drained your third cocktail and signaled the bartender for another. “Are we going to talk about this or are you wanting to get your stomach pumped?” You sighed and looked up at your former promdate. After Sam had tried to order you to leave, you had slapped him hard across the face (an impressive feat given the height difference) and ran from the room. At first, the boys had tried to follow you but they eventually gave up, realizing you needed space to cool off. You’d made sure the bond was closed before phoning up Garth and telling him to meet you at a different bar than before. Now he was slowly nursing a beer while you were making your best attempt to drink yourself stupid.

“My soulmates are hypocritical cavemen.” You let him pull your glass away as you were beginning to feel the previous drinks catch up with you. “I know for a fact that Sam has slept with someone else. They’re trying to say that it’s different because she was with the agency but she still wasn’t Dean!”

“Yeah, that’s not very fair…” Garth pursed his lips in thought. “Do they think you and I were in love or something?”

“Who knows?” A bead of condensation had slid down your cup onto the table and you were nudging it along with a finger. “I was going to tell them that you’re more like a brother before I realize that wouldn’t really help my point.” Garth snorted and you smiled, snagging your drink back.

>   
>    
> 
> 
> _ “Garth…” you whined, unable to take the silence. He grinned sheepishly at you before very slowly running a finger up and down your slit. It was a bit awkward but you still spread your legs further, tilting your hips up to give him a better angle. Knobby fingers parted your folds before Garth muttered to himself about finding something. He poked harshly at your clit and you flinched. “Little more gentle please.” Your friend stuck his tongue out in concentration before switching to light touches with two fingers. That was new. Sure you had masturbated before but it felt so so so different when it was someone else touching you. “Yes that’s better...oh…” _
> 
> _ “Could I… Do you think I could put a finger inside?” Garth’s eyes were wide and his breath was coming in shallow pants. “I’d really like to if it’s okay.” You nodded and spread your legs further still, sitting up on your elbows. _
> 
> _ “Yeah, just be careful.”  _
> 
> _ You moaned at the feeling of his finger inside you. It wasn’t excessively pleasurable but the concept alone was making arousal coil low in your belly. Garth had clearly been watching some bad porn as he went straight for a fast jackhammering motion and you reached down to grab his wrist. _
> 
> _ “Slower please? And two fingers?” He nodded and followed your instructions, thumb toying with your clit while he slowly fucked his fingers into you. “Oh Garth that’s perfect!” You arched your back and whined low in your throat. The positive reaction stoked Garth’s confidence and he kept up the movements, watching in awe as you came undone. He suddenly didn’t understand why the women in porn announced that they were cumming; the rhythmic pulsing of your cunt around his fingers was more than enough of an indicator. The boy fortunately had the wisdom to slow but not stop, letting you come down from your high comfortably. Once you were back to Earth, you opened your eyes and gave him a nervous smile. _
> 
> _ “Alright...you ready?” _

  
  
  
  
  


Sam hated it when Dean was right. But Dean was right this time. They were being unreasonable. Not only was the sex in question years before you met them, there was obviously no love connection between you and Garth. And you’d had a point, most people only dreamed about meeting a soulmate. The brothers sometimes forgot how rare their situation was. Having grown up together, they had known who their soulmate was the way other people knew that the sky was blue. And they’d known you weren’t a virgin when you met, they had no problem with that. Unfortunately, it was one thing to know that there was a mystery someone out there who had touched you intimately; actually meeting that person and seeing him put his hands on you again was a very different concept.

“Garth though? Garth? Who fucks a dude named Garth?” Sam actually sounded offended by your friend’s name and Dean chuckled.

“Apparently our soulmate…” He grinned wryly at the switch, not intimidated by his brother’s bitchface. “Sammy, it’s not like she had an affair or anything. They were sixteen year old kids. I’m sure it only lasted three minutes tops.” The younger Winchester still looked angry and Dean sighed. “Look, I’m not jazzed to be meeting this guy but (Y/N) said there’s nothing to be worried about and I trust her. If she says he’s just a friend then I see no reason to believe otherwise.”

“I still don’t like him.” Sam’s voice was less angry caveman and more petulant child now, making Dean’s lips twitch up again.

“No one says you have to. But you do have to get over it and stop being a jerk. Besides, do you really want (Y/N) working this case with Shaggy over there? I’m not sure he can hold his own against a strong breeze.”

“Yeah we should probably go help before her backup falls through a crack in the sidewalk or something.” Sam’s pout was cute and Dean leaned over to press a kiss to the pushed-out lips.

“Let’s go see if our girl will forgive us.”

  
  
  


> _ It took Garth a couple of tries to get the angle right, his cock jabbing off center a few times before finally catching at your entrance. You grimaced as he thrust in, not sure what to make of the intruding stretch. His eyes were screwed shut tight, face bright red as he fought to stay still. _
> 
> _ “Go ahead and move, Garth.” You jerked your hips clumsily, wondering if motion might make the feeling better. He nodded shakily and thrust in and out, no real rhythm to his movements. It wasn’t as uncomfortable but you weren’t getting the same pleasure that was clear on Garth’s face. Hesitantly, you brought one hand down, rubbing light circles over your straining clit. The jolts of pleasure it caused made you squeeze and Garth moaned at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him. Glad that the stimulation was doing good things for both of you, you continued playing with yourself. Not much time passed before Garth’s hips stuttered and he let out a garbled string of curses before collapsing on top of you. _
> 
> _ After he had recovered slightly, Garth sat up and looked at you in alarm. _
> 
> _ “Shit I’m so sorry (Y/N)! You didn’t cum, did you?” You bit your lip. _
> 
> _ “I did the once when you were using your hands but not...y’know...during.” Your face flushed. “It’s fine though.” _
> 
> _ “No it’s not!” Garth looked distraught. “I’m supposed to wait for you!” Wanting to reassure your friend (and ease your own frustration) you shyly spread your legs. _
> 
> _ “Well… I wouldn’t say no to your hands again.” _

  
  
  


“Deedee!” You smiled goofily up at your dom who turned to give Garth a questioning look.

“She may have had a few too many.” The male sub shrugged. “I tried to cut her off but she’s surprisingly convincing.” Sam stepped up behind you and you tilted your head back to fix him with a glare.

“I’m mad at you.”

“I know sweetheart.” He ran his fingers along your jaw gently. “I’m a little mad at me too.”

“You need to be less of a meanie-butt.” Your face was way too serious for the words you were saying. “But you are pretty… So I might forgive you.” Dean laughed and you smiled at him. “You’re pretty too. But Sam’s sooooo taaaalll” You leaned over to stage-whisper to Garth “I’m gonna climb him.”

“And that’s our cue to exit.” Dean pulled you to your feet and wrapped an arm around your waist. “We’ll meet up with you tomorrow and talk shop. Right now we’ve got a very inebriated lady to look after.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


There’s a reason you didn’t drink often, a reason you were reminded of by the harsh fluorescent lighting of the waffle house Garth had asked to meet at. You had your head buried in your arms on the table, only lifting it when Sam brought a forkful of food to your lips. The men began breakfast with a fresh start, reintroducing themselves before going over everything Garth had.

“If it weren’t for the lightning fast turnaround, I would say crossroads demon.” Garth stole a piece of bacon off Dean’s plate, not even flinching when the dom glared at him murderously. “But folks are dropping almost immediately. That just doesn’t add up.”

“Okay so what else can grant wishes?” Dean snagged a strawberry off your waffles and you mustered up your best side eye before accepting another bite of eggs from Sam.

Garth swished his mouthful of coffee thoughtfully. “Witches? It does seem a bit like a curse.”

“Nah…” You groaned and sat up. “This doesn’t feel witchy. But that curse angle seems like it’s worth digging into.”

“How about this?” Sam set down the newspaper he’d been flipping through. “Let’s split up. (Y/N) and I will go check out the last vic’s house, try and find some clues. You two” He tapped a headline. “Go interview this guy.” Garth leaned over and squinted at the upside-down article.

“Junior Sales Associate Makes CEO?” He shook his head. “That does sound fishy.”

“Why am I with twiglet?” Dean frowned at Sam, eyebrows raising in emphasis when Garth stole more bacon.

Sam kissed the top of your head. “Because you might be pretty, but I’m pretty  _ and tall _ .”

  
  
  
  


Finding nothing of interest at the dead baseball player’s house, you and Sam met up with Dean and Garth at the CEO’s office building to compare notes.

“You got anything?”

“Well this guy definitely didn’t wish for the promotion. He seems miserable.” You scowled in frustration before Dean continued with a chuckle. “But his wife is  _ very  _ happy about it. I say we tail her and see if we can catch the killer in action.” He nodded towards a stern looking woman. “That’s her over there.”

 

You didn’t have to wait longer than ten minutes before the killer made himself obvious. Dean saved the would-be victim while you and Sam went after the murderer. His black eyes gave away his status as a demon, though not a crossroads one. Sam had fortunately come prepared with demon handcuffs, making it easy for the switch to drag him into an empty conference room. Garth stood watch while you summoned Crowley.

“Cupcake!” The king smiled. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your pretty face?” Dean growled and stepped in front of you.

“We needed to talk to this guy’s supervisor.” He jerked his chin at the restrained demon. “Since when are collections on an express-track?” 

“I haven’t the foggiest what you’re talking about.” Crowley looked bored and Sam grumbled, twisting the captive demon’s arm until he squealed.

“It wasn’t me!” He gasped out wildly. “I’m just the hitman, someone else is making the deals!”

“Well that’s interesting…” The demon king smirked. “I’ll be taking this lad in for questioning. Rest assured, this is not the level of professionalism we expect in Hell.” He turned to Dean. “In the meantime, I would appreciate if you continue your little extermination mission with the Leviathans. Dreadful things, those. You keep hunting them, and I’ll keep my men off of the three of you. Deal?” Neither Winchester responded.

“Deal.” You shoved your way past Dean and shook Crowley’s hand.

“Pleasure doing business with you Cupcake.”

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  


“Sorry again…” Sam’s eyes met yours sheepishly in the rearview mirror. “I was a real dick back there.” You and Dean shared a concerned glance. Sam had been apologizing almost nonstop the whole ride back despite the fact that you had forgiven him.

“Sammy?” Dean’s voice was low and gentle. “Are you needing help?” The younger Winchester nodded, squirming in his seat. “Can you wait until we get home or do you need something now?”

“I can wait.” Sam’s voice was small. Dean raised an eyebrow but didn’t question it, knowing that the switch hated when his soulmates didn’t believe him.

“(Y/N), I know this sounds weird but I’m kind of glad that it was Garth.” You looked at Dean in surprise.

“Why’s that?”

“There’s no need to be worried about him.” Dean chuckled. “That scrawny dude has nothing on Sammy and me. You traded up.” An evil thought popped into your head and you grinned wickedly.

“I don’t know… Looks can be deceiving.” You winked at Dean cheekily. “You’re definitely bigger than Garth in some ways but that doesn’t mean you’re bigger everywhere.” 

“(Y/N)...” There was a glint of warning in Dean’s eyes but you were having too much fun to stop now.

“After all, you know what they say about small packages…”

“That’s it.” Dean pulled off the highway and killed the engine at a rest stop. “Both of you, out of the car. Now.” You got out, curious to see what your teasing had earned you. Dean waited for Sam to exit too before opening the glove box and stashing something in his jacket pocket. “Follow me.” Both of you fell in line behind the dom, letting him lead you into one of the large family bathrooms. He clicked the lock shut and looked at you sternly. “Alright Sammy since (Y/N) is being a brat, you get your punishment now. Is that okay with you sweetheart?” The switch nodded while you pouted at being called a brat. “Traffic light system again. Do you understand?” Sam nodded again and you jerked your head in agreement.

Dean reached in his pocket and pulled out a bag and a small bottle of lube. “Hands and knees baby boy.” Sam was quick to comply, shoving his pants down so Dean had access to his ass. “(Y/N), you don’t get to watch. Nose in the corner kitten.” You stomped over to the corner, huffing in annoyance. You loved watching Dean play with Sam and hated being denied the show. There was a click when he opened the bottle and Sam inhaled sharply. You tried to discern what Dean was doing based on the sounds Sam was making but it was impossible, especially when his pleasured sounds set off a wave of arousal in your own body. After what felt like forever, Dean told you that you could turn around. Disappointingly, whatever he’d done to Sam was over as the switch was blushing and squirming but fully clothed. “Trade places.” Sam dutifully faced the wall while Dean yanked your shoes off, followed by your pants and underwear. “Are you ready for your punishment sugarplum?” You nodded slowly, wondering what kind of torment he had planned. What you weren’t expecting was for him to pull a U-shaped piece of silicone out of the bag. He didn’t give you a chance to question it, testing your wetness with his fingers before sliding one end of the toy into your pussy. You shivered when the part inside of you curved into your gspot, the external end nestled up to your clit. Dean grinned and tapped the toy before dressing you again and leading you and Sam back to the car. Walking with the toy in place was strange, each step making you more and more aware of your situation. Sam was walking awkwardly too and you wondered what was going on inside the switch’s pants. Dean blocked Sam from the passenger door, directing him to sit next to you in the back. The dom still said nothing, even as he started the car up again and merged back onto the freeway.

It wasn’t until you had driven about a mile and a half that something happened. You gasped when the toy came to life, both ends buzzing against your two sweet spots. Beside you, Sam had stiffened and you suddenly had an inkling of what Dean had done when your back was turned. There was a chuckle from the front seat as your dom held up his hand, two tiny remotes in his fingers. You averted your gaze, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was winding you up. Dean shrugged and lowered his hand. He must have done something with the remote because the vibrations changed; what had once been a steady but gentle buzz turned to rhythmic pulsing, each beat stronger than the last. Just when you felt like it was too much to handle, the intensity went back down and the cycle started over again. Sam’s instrument of torture had changed too and the switch was openly whining.

“Dean! Dean it’s too much please!” Green eyes flicked back up to the mirror.

“Do you remember your words?” Sam nodded, hips twisting in a dirty circle and lips parted. “Tell me your color.”

“Green! Green green greeeeeee!” Halfway through Sam’s babbled answer, Dean pressed another button and Sam nearly came out of his skin. There was no denying the bulge in his pants and you eyed it hungrily, watching Sam thrust up against nothing. With Dean’s eyes back on the road, you stole the opportunity and reached over to your soulmate’s lap. Right before your hands could make contact with the tented denim, you shrieked. Turns out Dean had been watching you and decided to use the toy in your pussy to issue a reprimand.

“Hands off kitten. Sammy’s going to cum don’t worry.” He licked his lips. “And you will too.”

 

Seventy minutes later had you and Sam crying and writhing in the backseat. Sam had cum twice and you were rapidly heading towards orgasm number four. You were having a hard time staying in reality, eyes wide despite efforts to close them, breath coming fast and hands scrambling for something to hold onto. Things were spiraling past a place that felt safe and you needed help.

“Ye-ye-yellow!” You managed to choke out. Immediately, the toy inside you went back to the first gentle setting and Dean pulled off to the shoulder of the road.

“(Y/N)? Baby can you look at me?” It took a few tries but finally, you got your eyes to focus on your increasingly distressed soulmate. “I’m going to turn the toy all the way off and then you’re going to give me three words about how you’re feeling right now, okay?” The buzzing ended and you gasped a sigh of relief, one hand going up to tug at your collar. “Alright sweetheart can you give me some words?”

“Um...Scary?... Lost?” It was hard to describe your emotions and you hoped it was okay to not stick to three individual words. “Like I'm alone in the middle of the ocean.” Dean frowned and frustration bubbled up inside you. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry sweet girl, I’m just trying to think of a way to help you.” He tilted his head. “Are you needing this to be over?”

“No! I want to keep going!” You bit your lip. “I just need an anchor or something.” Sam’s punched whine reminded both you and Dean that the switch was still being stimulated. You watched in fascination as he came again, hips jerking erratically. His whines increased in pitch, turning desperate and you immediately grabbed his hand.

“It’s okay Sam. Breathe through it.” Dean’s eyes landed on your and Sam’s joined hands and the dom felt warm fondness pass through him.

“What about that right there? You could hold Sammy’s hand. Do you think that would work?”

“Maybe…” You tilted your head in thought. “Start slow?”

“Of course babygirl. I want you to tell me though if you feel lost or scared again okay?” At your nod, Dean started the car (and your vibrator) up again.

 

 

 

It was only another hour until the three of you arrived home and, much as you’d hate to admit it, you found yourself wishing the drive would be longer. Sitting in the backseat at Dean’s mercy, holding hands with Sam while the two of you gasped and whimpered through the pleasure your dom gave was thrilling. When you arrived back at the house, Dean wouldn’t unlock the car doors until both you and Sam sobbed through a final orgasm each. The switch was wobbly as he opened the door and stood on jelly-legs. You helped Dean get his brother into the house, lighting candles in the bathroom and filling the tub, adding Sam’s favorite bath salts. While the younger Winchester’s last two orgasms had been dry, there was still a decent amount of spend on his clothes and body. Dean cooed soothingly as he peeled the ruined underwear off his brother’s skin, using a warm wet cloth to clean off the majority of the mess so that the bath would be more for relaxing than cleansing. With Sam’s body finally exposed, you could see the fat base of a vibrating plug between the creamy globes of his ass. Dean added some lube before he slowly pulled the toy out, biting gently at Sam’s thigh when the switch jerked.

“Easy Sammy, you're okay. It's over now. You did so well for me baby boy. Such a good good _ good _ boy.” Sam whined and let himself be maneuvered into the tub, resting his chin on the side while Dean tended to you. “Hey babydoll, you can relax now. Thank you for helping me with Sam, that was very sweet of you.” He pulled your clothes off much more gently than in the rest stop bathroom, coaxing you into a more vulnerable headspace. “You don’t need to do anything now sugar, let me take care of you. Sammy’s good. I’ve got you.” The toy stung a little bit on the way out, your entrance swollen and sensitive  and you whimpered. Dean hushed you and kissed your hip before settling you into the warm water with Sam. “You two just relax and leave everything to me…” Dean gazed in awe at the look of complete trust and contentment in both his soulmates’ eyes and wondered yet again how he ever got so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That holding hands while Dean plays with remote control toys in the front seat is a concept that I've been wanting to play with for a long time now.
> 
> And I very much doubt that any of you are Boosh fans so this probably means nothing to you but Garth looks so much like a baby Howard Moon (specifically season 1 Zooniverse Howard) that it makes me scream. At one point he even wears an outfit that looks like Howard's uniform and I just love it so much.


	37. You Got My Back?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunting community suffers a massive loss. As we all know though, Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away. While the trio mourns the death of one family member, another returns. Through the ups and downs, Dean finally reaches his breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: As someone who has lost a parent, this chapter was really hard for me to write. There is the death of a pretty major/parental character (the actual death happens offscreen but the aftermath is present) and if that's something that could be upsetting, proceed with caution and take care of yourself.
> 
> In happier news, I posted another prequel thing a couple of days ago. If you haven't read it yet, go check it out! First time Sam and Dean.

You stood stiffly under a large oak tree, watching people mingle. The atmosphere was different than how it had been at your father’s funeral and  _ oh…  _ Your dad’s funeral. That’s a can of worms that you really hate to open.

Your mother had, against your father’s wishes, made the whole thing a stuffy Catholic affair. Bobby digging up your father’s corpse to make sure it was burned properly led to the biggest and final argument between him and your mother. Lorraine never forgave her brother for destroying her husband’s body as it not only violated what she felt were her rights as a wife, it seriously complicated her plans of resurrection

Bobby Singer’s funeral was wildly different from your father’s. Instead of a church and pipe organ, you were in the salvage yard listening to Garth strumming his guitar. Rather than somber black, you found yourself surrounded by a sea of flannel and denim. It was a strangely joyful gathering, uproarious laughter echoing from a circle of people standing only a few feet away from the half-built pyre. While you knew that your uncle wouldn’t have wanted people to blubber and sob over his death, a little crying-or at least a modicum of seriousness-seemed only respectful.

It wasn’t until it became time to light the fire that the mood changed. One by one, each person added to the pyre until it was complete. As Bobby’s only blood relative, you were expected to actually start the fire but, at your request, Sam did it for you. As the flames grew, lighting up the night, no one said a word. The only sounds were the crackles of the fire, Garth's guitar, and the quiet crying no one would admit to in the morning.

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  
  


Most funeral attendees left before dawn, with only Garth and Jody remaining to help you clean up. Once that project was over, you were left with the unavoidable fact that you had to decide what to do with the house. Living there was out of the question as every room held too many memories, but selling it felt wrong too. Gabriel's mojo was still in place, meaning that unless someone was given the address by you, Bobby, Jody, or the boys, they wouldn't be able to find it. It seemed a waste to not take advantage of the best possible safehouse scenario. Not wanting to deal with it, you fled to the porch swing, refusing to speak to anyone. Though the only people trying to talk to you were Jody and Garth. Your soulmates were too caught up in their own grief to speak to anyone.

  
  
  
  


About a week had passed since the funeral. Jody and Garth had hung around while you and your soulmates ‘coped’ with your loss. They were taking on the project of sorting through some of Bobby’s belongings. Garth flipped through an old book from a top shelf. “We should open some kind of hunting library. There’s more information here than I knew existed.”

“Still nothing on Leviathan though.” Sam yanked the book from Garth’s hands and shoved it back on the shelf. “Or those numbers that Bobby gave us. None of this is useful.” Your friend backed away, hands held up in placation as the switch stalked over to the table and opened his computer. “What’s the point of staying here? We need to get moving.”

“Moving to where?” Jody set a plate down in front of him with her best mom glare. “Sam you’ve got nothing to go on and you’re all exhausted. I’m not letting you go anywhere until the three of you eat and sleep.” Sam glared at her but began eating the sandwich dutifully. Jody watched him for a minute before heading to the basement.  _ One down, two to go… _

  
  
  


Dean was somewhat easier. The dom was 20,000 leagues deep in a sea of whiskey. He grumbled in protest when she took away the bottle of liquor but didn’t make any attempt to take it back. 

“I thought we talked about this Dean. You can’t just lock yourself away when things get hard. This would be a perfect time to  _ open up _ to your soulmates.” The older Winchester scoffed and folded his arms. “Do you know how they’re doing right now? Have you checked on them?”

“(Y/N) and Sam are grown ups. They can handle themselves.”

“You mean the way you’re handling yourself? Is this what you think adults do?”

Dean leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling and fighting the tears that threatened to spill. “I can’t go to them right now, not until I work past this. When I talk to them I need be be stro-OW!” He clutched his cheek, glaring at Jody. “What the hell?!”

“Are we still on this?!” Jody raised her hand, ready to slap Dean again. “I swear to God you are the most exhausting man I’ve ever met. How can you ask them to trust you when you won’t trust them?” Dean set his jaw and glared at the wall, whining when Jody grabbed him by the ear and yanked him up. “Now you’re going to march upstairs and eat then get your ass in bed.”

As Dean sat down next to Sam, bumping his brother’s shoulder comfortingly, Jody felt a burst of pride.

  
  
  


You were the hardest to reach, Jody and Garth both admitting defeat. When Sam and Dean sat down on either side of you, porch swing creaking under the weight, you didn’t react, continuing to stare at the horizon. 

“(Y/N)?” Dean frowned when you didn’t so much as blink. “Babygirl are you in there?” Sam whined when he prodded at the bond to realize you had shut your end completely. He and Dean had been so distracted by their grief and anger that they hadn't even realized that you’d done it.

“Sweetheart? Will you let us in?” Finally you reacted, though it wasn’t what they had wanted. You shook your head and stood, flinching when Dean grabbed your arm.

“Let go.” You croaked.

“Not gonna happen princess.” Dean tugged you over, forcing you into his lap where you sat stiffly. “Have you been out here this whole time?”

You shook your head. “I go inside at night. I’m not stupid.” 

“Have you been sleeping?” Sam’s face was full of concern but you scowled at the hypocrisy.

“Have you?”

“Alright, we’re not going to get anywhere with this.” Dean stood, keeping an arm around your waist. “You’re going to eat something and then the three of us are going to get some rest. Okay?” You nodded and followed the boys into the house.

  
  


Sam mumbled something in his sleep, gesturing vaguely with his hand before rolling over and wrapping himself around Dean.  _ Finally…  _ Free from Sam’s arms, you slid out of bed, grabbing the bag you had already packed the night before, and slipping out of  the room, closing the door on the house and the bond.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Waking up in the same bed as his soulmates never failed to make Dean smile. Eyes still closed, he stretched before turning his head slightly to kiss Sam’s forehead. He reached an arm out blindly for you, confused when his hand grasped at empty air. When he opened his eyes to see you missing from the bed, his smile faded and he sat straight up, jostling Sam into wakefulness. The switch whined in offense before realizing what had his brother so concerned. As one, they shot out of bed and scoured the house for any sign of you, blood running cold in their veins when they realized that your car was missing along with several of your weapons.

“Where could she have gone?” Sam’s eyes were wide and panicked but Dean was eerily calm. The dom rolled his shoulders before heading to the study and grabbing a spellbook.

“I’m not sure but I know someone who can find her.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  


So maybe this wasn’t the best idea you’d ever had. They couldn’t all be winners. Granted, the last time you had a bad idea it ended with a delightfully sore behind; a far cry from your current situation of practically holding your side together while fleeing through the woods. The wendigo was distracted but wouldn’t stay that way for long and you needed to find a place to hide fast. Spotting a light up ahead, you breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully whoever owned this cabin would be willing to call you an ambulance. Something about the house felt safe. Despite the fact that you’d never seen the place, it reminded you of home, radiating some kind of warmth. Knocking on the door, you chuckled to yourself about the surprise this homeowner was in for. What you weren’t expecting was a surprise of your own.

“Cas?!” 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“Real sweet guys, not a dick move at all.” Gabriel scowled, arms curled around himself as he eyed the holy fire surrounding him. “You really think trapping me is going to bring out my inner altruism?”

“Maybe not but at least it keeps you put so we can talk.” Dean growled, pacing back and forth in front of the archangel. “Our last interaction didn’t go so well and I don’t have time for you to bounce again.”

“Yeah I don’t tend to hang around people who threaten me.” Gabriel turned to Sam. “What part of ‘I’m not raising Bobby’ is your brother not getting?”

 

Almost immediately after Bobby was shot, you and the boys had called for Gabriel but the archangel hadn’t responded. By the time he finally did show, looking morose and disheveled, your uncle had died. Dean had gone on an angry tirade, demanding that Gabriel bring him back but the angel refused, insisting that it was truly Bobby’s time to go.

 

“It’s not about that right now.” Sam’s earnest expression caught Gabriel’s attention. “We need you to find (Y/N). She disappeared last night and closed the bond.”

“Believe me when I say that I would really like to find her for you but the connection I set up with (Y/N) is completely under her control. I can’t find her unless she calls me.” Gabriel seemed genuinely apologetic. That didn’t help Dean’s mood though and the older Winchester cursed before stepping right up to the edge of the flames, his own eyes smoldering nearly as much as the fire.

“Well you’re going to find a way around that because I will not lose anyone else. Understand me?” Gabriel opened his mouth to respond before his eyes went distant. When he snapped back into reality, he seemed panicked.

“What? What is it?”

“(Y/N) called me. She needs some massive healing power.”

  
  
  
  
  


To say that the guys were surprised when the cabin Gabriel zapped them to contained their soulmate bleeding to death and a very confused Castiel would be the understatement of the century. Sam had been the first of the three to move, kneeling down and pulling your shirt up to inspect the damage. The sight of your injury was enough to spur Gabriel into action and he quickly healed the wound before turning to face his brother.

“Castiel?”

The man in question blinked. “Why do you people keep calling me that? How did you get into my house?”

“He doesn’t know us.” You smiled sadly. “He doesn’t know anything really.” A soft choking sound made all of you turn to where Dean was still standing frozen.

“Cas? You remember me right?” He took a jerky step forward, cringing when Castiel took a step back in response.

“I’m sorry but I have no idea who you are.”

Dean let out the most heartbroken wail you had ever heard and fell to his knees.

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

Back at your house, Sam was talking Gabriel through everything you knew about Dick Roman and the Leviathan infiltration while Dean stood quietly in the corner of the room. Castiel (or Emmanuel as he called himself) was listening wide-eyed.

“So you’re saying that evil creatures are attempting to enslave humanity by harnessing a billionaire’s power and contaminating the food supply?”

“Astute as always, little brother!” Gabriel tried to hide how hurt he was by Castiel’s confusion at the familial moniker. “So their leader is actually a Dick? That’s just too perfect.” The archangel’s lips quirked up into a half smile at his sad attempt of a joke.

“We’re still trying to figure out their next move.” Sam pointed to the big white board on the wall where you’d written out the numbers your uncle had scrawled with his dying breath. “We think these numbers must be related to their major operation. Bobby had time to look at their plans while he was in there and he wanted us to see these numbers. I just wish we could figure out what it all means.”

“45489…” The two angels stared at the number in silence, each trying to decode the message. The sound of you clearing your throat made everyone look up, Dean’s face crumpling when he saw the shoebox in your hands.

“(Y/N)...” He croaked out sadly. “What are you doing with that?”

“You know exactly what I’m doing with it.” You handed him the box and nudged him gently towards the couch where the angels sat. “Emmanuel, Dean has something for you.”

Everyone held their breath as Castiel opened the box and pulled out the coat. Between Dean and Jody, it was back in perfect condition, no evidence of Castiel’s battles or his unfortunate swimming trip. Cerulean eyes widened.

“This… This is mine?” He looked up to meet Dean’s desperate gaze. “It feels familiar.”

“Put it on.” Dean’s voice was shaky and pleading and you could feel the excitement and hope and fear radiating through the bond as Castiel pulled on his coat. Once the fabric was hanging from his shoulders, the seraph froze. His jaw dropped in a silent gasp and his eyes widened, darting around as if watching a film no one else could see. When he finally snapped out of it, Castiel stumbled forward, wrapping his arms around your older dom.

“Thank you, Dean.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

The angels didn’t stay long. Castiel had hugged Dean tight before gasping and backing away, a look of horror on his face, and Enochian words falling from his lips frantically. You understood a word here and there, having picked up some vocabulary from spells, but the overall message was difficult to decipher. From what you could tell, the seraph was apologizing. Your attempts at reassurance fell on deaf ears though. If anything, they upset the angel further and Gabriel was quick to intervene, explaining that he needed to take some time to further heal his brother’s mind before the two disappeared. 

Dean stayed rooted to the spot, arms still outstretched from the hug Castiel had abandoned. Without missing a beat, Sam stepped into the empty space, pulling his brother in close. You could tell from his shaking that Dean was fighting tears and sighed sadly before moving to hug him from behind.

“Let go, Dean. We’ll catch you.”

That was all it took. Dean gasped once before dissolving into sobs, leaning hard on Sam. This wasn't ordinary weeping. Dean's sobs were full body, his pain soul-deep. The switch crooned soothingly, tucking Dean’s head into his neck and stroking the short hair. You slipped your hands under your dom’s many layers so you could lay your hands against skin. His stomach was shaking with the force of his cries and your heart broke.

  
  


Eventually, Dean ran out of tears. The crying had worn him out and he dom was now putty in Sam’s arms, letting his soulmates guide him upstairs and dress him in pajamas before tucking him into bed. It was like all of his tears had washed away the tough armor he kept up, leaving Dean vulnerable and pliant and trusting. You loved the new openness but hated how it had come to be. The older Winchester was beyond clingy, making it difficult for you and Sam to change your own clothes. You did it swiftly and in shifts, Dean not fully relaxing until he was cuddled between the two of you. Once he had a firm grip on both of you, ensuring that you couldn’t move without him knowing, the dom was out like a light. Given that you had been out the whole night before and came very close to death, you were exhausted as well and quickly followed your soulmate into sleep.

  
  
  
  


Sunlight assaulted your eyes and you groaned in protest, turning your head into Dean’s neck. In all of the drama from the night before, you must have forgotten to close the curtains. The body below you vibrated with a low chuckle and Dean’s arms came up to wrap around your waist.

“Good morning kitten.” 

“Morning!” You lifted your head to give him a sleepy smile. “You seem a little better.”

“Mmmh I’m much better.” Dean tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “My beautiful soulmates took such good care of me.” You blushed and averted your gaze, frowning when you realized someone was missing from the bed.

“Speaking of soulmates…” You bit your lip in worry. “Where’s Sam?” Like magic, the bedroom door opened and your missing third walked in, carefully holding three mugs of coffee.

“I’m right here.” He perched at the edge of the bed, handing you and Dean your daily dose of caffeine before taking a sip from his own mug. “I figured we should have some coffee before we talk.”

“Talk?” You couldn’t keep the nervousness out of your voice and from the look on your boys’ faces, the look was justified.

“We need to discuss your little solo mission.” Sam’s eyes were intense, and you couldn’t help shrinking back slightly. “(Y/N), what were you thinking? You nearly died!”

“I’m sorry” you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. Dean sighed and you felt the mattress shift. Calloused fingers touched your cheek gently and you allowed him to turn your face to his.

“Babydoll what happened? You know better than to go looking for trouble.”

“I dunno…” You shrugged. “I just… I needed to prove that I can take care of myself.” A bitter laugh fell from your lips and Dean frowned. “Turns out I can’t.”

“Sweetheart you don’t have to prove anything. The three of us take care of each other, that’s the point. We don’t need to see you kill something to show that you’re capable.”

“I wasn’t trying to convince you.” You brought your knees up to your chest. “I’m the one who isn’t sure.” Confusion spilled over from the boys and you sighed. “This is going to sound so stupid.”

“Try us.” Sam’s voice had lost the bite from before, gaze softer.

“I’m just… I’m all alone now. I know that I have you guys and that we’re a family but I still feel like an orphan. I know that I’m an adult and that Bobby wasn’t my parent but he’s the closest thing I’ve had since I was ten.”

“What about your mom?” Dean coaxed your hand away from twisting the sheets so he could hold it, thumb rubbing soothingly over the back. “I know you guys had some disagreements but there was definitely still some love there.”

“That wasn’t my mom.” Your voice was empty and cold and the boys frowned. “My mom died the same night as my dad and got replaced by the woman you met. When they buried Dad something just...broke inside her.”

“I’m so sorry (Y/N)” Sam abandoned his half empty mug on the nightstand so he could crawl closer and kiss your cheek. “That must have been hard.”

“It sucked.” You leaned against the switch, grateful for the comfort both boys were sending over the bond. “First Dad died, then Mom got weird and moved us to some creepy suburb town. The only person who didn’t change was Uncle Bobby. He used to drive out and steal me from school so we could get ice cream or go to the zoo or something. Once I started driving, I would sneak to his house for the weekends. My mom was getting colder and colder and by the end I had no idea who that woman was. Uncle Bobby was safe though. I knew that no matter what, he had my back.” You shrugged. “Being without him is scary.” Dean set his and your cups to the side before pulling you into his lap, Sam scooting forward and slipping under Dean’s arm.

“I wish I knew the words to say right now sugarplum. Your uncle was an amazing guy. He made sure that Sammy and I had chances to be kids and he was the backbone of the whole community.”

Sam chuckled. “For someone who was afraid to have kids, Bobby was a great father. There’s definitely a big hole in the family now.” He nipped at your jaw affectionately. “The only thing we can do now is rebuild. We’ll take what he taught us and move forward.” You leaned forward and grabbed Sam’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss.

Dean watched the two of you for a moment before tapping at your temple and tilting you back to look at him. 

“While I understand why you did what you did, you still broke a rule babydoll. I can’t just let that go.” You nodded and allowed yourself to be bent over his lap, weirdly happy about the fact that you were getting spanked. 

While you might be alone in the world in some ways, you knew that there were two people who would always be there to take care of you.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“Sorry Dean but you’re outvoted here. Clowns are creepy as fuck.” You shuddered at the frankly obscene amount of white-faced jesters decorating the glorified daycare you’d found yourselves in. 

A string of seriously bizarre deaths had led you and the boys to Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magic Menagerie, a place you were grateful to have never visited as a child. Your life had enough nightmare fuel already without adding this crap to the mix.

“Can we leave now?” Sam’s breathing was uneven and the switch’s eyes were darting around as if he was afraid to stop looking at any of the clowns for more than a few seconds. You slipped a hand in his, squeezing tight. 

“I know you don’t like this Sammy but we need to do a little digging.” Dean’s voice was steady, and you could feel Sam clinging to that sureness like a lifeline. “I promise that you’re safe here sweetheart. No big bad clowns are gonna get you.” You elbowed the older dom when he smiled teasingly. While he wasn’t actively trying to mock Sam, Dean’s nonchalance was far from reassuring.

“Look at this.” You pulled their attention to a large wall covered in kids’ drawings. “ _ Draw your worst fear and Plucky makes it disappear… _ ” Dean came closer, frowning at one child’s picture of a bear with chainsaw arms.

“Can’t say I fault this one. That’s just a whole lot of pointy stuff.”

“Hey!” You and Dean turned to Sam. “Look at the missing names. Kelly and Billy…” He raised his eyebrows. “The kids of the dead guys.” You were about to reply when a staff member approached, switching to FBI mode and putting a pin in your train of thought.

  
  
  


“So what do we know?” Dean paced the motel room while you and Sam sat on the bed watching him, Sam playing with your hair. “We’ve got some shitty parents who die in freaky ways.”

“And just before they died, their kids drew pictures of the things that killed them.” Sam sighed. “It’s a weird one. What do you think, curse?”

“I sure hope not.” You wrinkled your nose. “The day that crayons are cursed is the day I lose all my faith. Crayola is sacred.”

“You’re a dork.” Sam nipped your ear teasingly and you giggled.

“Shut up, you love it.”

Dean watched the two of you wrestle playfully for a few minutes before sighing reluctantly.

“As much as I hate breaking this up, we should get going soon. That shifty janitor said to meet him after closing time and it’s nearly eight.”

  
  
  
  


You weren’t sure what you were expecting when you arrived at Plucky’s but it sure wasn’t emergency services. The three of you split up to investigate, meeting up over the bloodied corpse on the gurney. After he was wheeled away, Dean turned wide eyes to you and Sam.

“Did you see that shark bite? From the radius, it looks like the dude got bit by a friggin 20 footer!” The dom rolled his eyes at your and Sam’s confused faces. “Come on you two, Shark Week! It’s a whole week on sharks, how can you possibly not watch that?”

“While I’m sure you’ve got some fascinating Jaws trivia, maybe now would better be spent checking out the actual crime scene?” Dean pouted but agreed, following you and Sam inside.

  
  


After determining that the shark-fearing child wasn’t connected to the janitor, the three of you went back to the motel.

“So whatever this is doesn’t care about parents necessarily…” You chewed on your bottom lip thoughtfully. “It just uses childhood nightmares as ammunition.”

“Is it me or is this looking more like witchcraft?” Sam was right and you immediately went to search the journal you had started, trying to find some kind of spell that could explain what was happening.

“Well…” Dean tossed his burger wrapper into the trash and wiped off his hands. “I’m gonna go back to Plucky’s. I heard a couple of employees talking about weird sounds from the sub-basement. Sounds like it’s worth checking out.”

“You’re not going alone.” Sam stood as well. “New rule, remember?” After your misadventure with the wendigo, the three of you had decided that if anyone was heading into a potential fight, they needed to have at least one other person with them as backup.

“Fine… (Y/N) stay here and keep working that witchcraft angle. Sammy you can be my lookout.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

_ Of course!  _ You could have slapped yourself for your own stupidity.  _ Fear is strong enough to create power on its own. All you’d need is something that belongs to the target. _ You reached for your phone, planning to text the boys your findings when it began ringing.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)! Lock the doors, don’t leave the room until one of us comes by with the secret knock.”

“Sam are you okay? You sound out of breath. Where’s Dean?”

“Whatever it is has Dean trapped in the basement. He’s going to take it out.” There was a sick cackle in the background “shit… Just stay safe okay? I’m on my way.”

“Sam what’s go-”

The line went dead. You didn't have much time to worry over that though as a loud crash sounded from the bathroom.

 

_ Fuck. _

  
  


 

 

 

 

_ It’s not him…  _ You kept telling yourself as you shakily held your revolver up at the fake zombie.  _ Dad is dead, Mom can’t bring him back. He’s safe.  _ This fake zombie had jumped out from behind the motel shower curtain and chased you several blocks.

“(Y/N)?” The fake zombie even sounded like your father and you felt bile rise in your throat. “Look at you! My little jitterbug is all grown up!”

“Get away from me.” You backed up slowly, wishing that your worst fear was something normal like snakes or spiders. “You aren’t my father!”

“Please (Y/N), I’ve missed you so much!” Zombie-Dad lurched forward and you scrambled back, tripping on a curb. As he loomed over you, familiar but oh-so-wrong hands reaching down, you closed your eyes, clinging to the part of your mind where your soulbond lived for comfort.

“Hey!” You and Zombie-Dad looked up to see Sam standing there like a knight in shining armor. “Back off!” While your opponent was distracted, you scurried away, finding safety behind your soulmate. Sam squared his shoulders, preparing to take down the zombie when a creepy laugh made him freeze. Two truly terrifying looking clowns rounded the corner and you saw the switch begin to tremble, fear rushing through his mind.

“Sam?” You grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Wanna trade? I’ll fight your juggalos if you take out The Walking Dad.” He nodded and dropped a quick kiss to your brow before charging at the zombie. You took a deep breath and looked at the clowns. They might not be your worst fear but that didn’t mean that they weren’t scary as fuck. Hopefully Dean would figure this shit out soon.

  
  
  
  
  


He figured it out with barely a second to spare. You had been shooting uselessly at the clowns, spraying glitter everywhere but inflicting no real damage. By the time they finally flickered away from existence, you were cornered, bracing yourself for a crowbar to the face. Sam came out bloodier, leaning on you for support while you texted Dean your location. Within twenty minutes, the dom had picked you up, stopping by the motel just long enough to grab your belongings before the three of you hauled ass out of that fucking town.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

“What would yours have been?” Dean tilted his head at the question and Sam elaborated. “I got killer clowns, (Y/N) got Zombie-Dad, what’s the monster in your closet?”

You felt a pulse of nervousness come from the older Winchester before he set his jaw and answered.

“Dogs.” Green eyes focused blankly on the road. “I hate dogs. It doesn’t matter if it’s a labrador or a friggin chihuahua, as soon as they start barking they become a hellhound in my mind.” You sent out a wave of calm and Sam put a reassuring hand on his brother’s knee.

“You’re never going back there.” Sam’s voice was whisper-soft, hazel eyes earnest.

“You can’t know that Sammy.” Dean chuckled bitterly. “Do you really think they’ll let me into Heaven with all the blood on my hands? The two of you are still good and sweet under it all, you have a chance. Me? I’m just a surly drunk.” You leaned forward and thwacked the back of his head. “Ow! What was that for?!”

“You’re being a dumbass.” You glared at Dean in the rearview mirror. “First of all, Sam and I have standards. We wouldn’t be with a bad person.” Dean rolled his eyes and you pressed on. “Not only do you have two angels who would yank your ass out of hell faster than you can say Poughkeepsie, you’re a good person Dean. I wish I knew how to make you believe me. You’re warm and kind and loving… You take such good care of us and keep us safe.”

“Dean, we’re soulmates. That means that we’re meant for each other. There’s no way one of us could be deserving of Hell and the other two Heaven.” Sam had his logic-voice on which you knew annoyed Dean. Hopefully his valid points would be enough to get the dom to listen. “Plus, if we’re going to Heaven you are too. All of the lore says that soulmates get to share a heaven with each other.”

“You weren’t in my Heaven. Not really.” You frowned in confusion. “Why was I all by my lonesome?”

“Well I was literally locked in Hell…” Sam pursed his lips in thought. “And Dean wasn’t dead yet. I don’t know how it works in the interim between deaths.” He shrugged. “The point is, we get to be together forever. So long as one of us comes out virtuous enough to get a room upstairs, we all make it to Heaven.”

“Not for a while though!” You let a hint of warning color your voice. “You two had better not die on me or I will find a way to bring you back so I kill you again.”

“Noted, kitten. We love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for Bobby dying. I hated every minute of it.
> 
> This chapter would have gone up sooner but typing is actually kind of hard right now because, fully capable grown up that I am, I cut the fuck out of my hand/arm while sorting posters at work. Help me how do I function?
> 
> As always, your responses are my favorite part of this whole thing. I love seeing what you're all thinking.


	38. Chasing Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our trio (with the help of their angels and some new friends) set out to rid the world of Leviathan.
> 
> Otherwise known as the chapter with my favorite title so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of the rape that happened many chapters earlier. Nothing graphic but it is talked about a little so just keep that in mind. 
> 
> I know it's been a long time since I posted (more info down below) and this chapter isn't necessarily my favorite but I'm happy to have it posted. Hopefully it's good enough? idk  
> I'm also working on the final prequel piece to this story as well as two other stories. Plus homework and stuff. I'm supposed to have already written a paper on a book I haven't read yet. I'm really good at this.

It happened completely by accident. Dean had been thoroughly pleasuring you, two fingers curled inside your cunt, lips and tongue mercilessly working your clit. Sam held you tight, your legs hooked over his spread ones so you were completely vulnerable to Dean’s torture. One strong arm was wrapped firmly around your middle while the other came back up so you could suck on his fingers. Dean was taking you higher and higher but you didn’t truly break until he let the hint of teeth whisper across that tiny pleasure button. You came hard, accidentally biting down on Sam’s fingers. The switch loosened his grip in surprise, giving you the freedom to buck up. Dean’s hand slid across wet skin, his thumb catching at your backdoor and slipping partway in. The unexpected contact made you keen and your orgasm took on a new level of intensity. The boys watched in rapt fascination, Dean easing you down slowly before smoothing his hands up your thighs then sides, leaning up to search your eyes. After a beat of silence, he nodded to himself and maneuvered his way to the top of the bed, helping Sam shift as well so the three of you were stretched out, a Winchester on either side of you.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was nervous and Dean looked up from nuzzling your cheek. “What’s going on?”

“I’m calling yellow.” The dom brushed a lock of hair behind your ear. “I’m not comfortable moving forward without talking but she’s not in a place where that’s possible.” Seeing the fear cross Sam’s face, Dean leaned over you to kiss the frown lines from Sam’s brow. “Easy Sammy, we’re okay. Everyone is safe. We just need a little time out.”

  


 

* * *

 

  
  


“Cassie?” The blue eyed angel didn’t respond, continuing to lie on his back in the grass, hands behind his head. “Castiel? Don’t get me wrong kiddo, I’m glad that you’re outside and smiling again but I think we should maybe talk.”

“Did you know that bees use special dances to communicate where flowers are to each other?” Castiel grinned brightly. “It’s called the waggle dance.”

“Do they now?” Gabriel squatted down to join his brother, glad that his special pocket dimension was in summertime so the ground wasn’t wet. “That sounds cute.”

“It is fascinating. Through the waggle they communicate the presence of flowers in relation to the hive and the position of the sun. Tiny scientists really.”

“You really like bees, don’t you?” The seraph nodded and Gabriel took a moment to enjoy his brother’s smiling face before pressing on to more sensitive topics. “Cassie, it’s been a week. You can’t ignore the Winchesters forever. They aren’t mad at you.”

“No.” The smile quickly faded and Castiel rolled over, practically burying his face in the dirt. “I cannot face them, not after what I did.” He curled in on himself and mumbled “it’s a miracle that you even tolerate my presence now.”

Gabriel’s heart broke for his lost little brother and he sat down in the grass, tugging Castiel until messy hair was settled in his lap.

“I’m not going to say that you didn’t mess up. Because you really really did.” Castiel whined and tried to squirm away but Gabriel held tight. “However, your mistake is not worth this much grief. The bond you have with Dean is special and by staying away, you’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting him too.” Castiel had always been a stubborn little thing but Gabriel was determined to get through to him. “Cassie you’re not the first angel to form this kind of connection, though yours may be the strongest. Still, you know (Y/N) and I have a similar bond just as both you and I are connected to Sam. We can’t just abandon them. That’s not how this works”

“I betrayed them…” Castiel sounded remarkably young as he sagged in his brother’s grip. “I’ve failed them greatly, Gabriel and I do not deserve the comfort of being near them.”

“Your humans are not angry with you Castiel.” Gabriel gripped the seraph’s hair, forcing eye contact. “But they are hurt by this separation. End the suffering all of you are feeling and go to them. From the way things are moving, we soon won’t have a choice anyway. Wouldn’t you like to have a few more positive memories before it ends?”

“I must admit you have a valid point…”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Sam’s eyes were teary as Dean explained his concerns. He should have known it was too good to be true. You and Dean could say you forgave him till the cows came home but the fact remained that he had done something truly barbaric. Feeling the remorse washing over the bond, Dean stopped midsentence and tapped his brother’s temple.

“Sammy? You still with me?” The switch swallowed and nodded but the guilt stayed strong. “Hey!” Dean grabbed Sam’s chin and forced him to make eye contact. “I know what you’re thinking and you need to stop it right now. Yes, I’m worried because of what happened between you two but it’s not your fault, hear me? _This is_ **_not_ ** _your fault!_ ” The corners of Sam’s mouth twitched up in a smile before he shook his head.

“How can it not be my fault? If I hadn’t ra... If I hadn’t done _that_ , we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Sam…”

“No! Don’t ‘Sam’ me! This isn’t something that can just go awa-mff!” Sam’s rant was cut off by you jumping into his lap and crashing your lips together. After kissing him thoroughly you pulled back and glared.

“Stop it! That was in the past. We’ve addressed it, you were punished, you’re forgiven.” Sam pulled you into a crushing hug, soaking up the affection and reassurance you were offering like a man starved and Dean sighed, cursing Samuel Campbell.

“(Y/N)?” You made a small sound of acknowledgement, face hidden in Sam’s neck. “Is this something that you want to try?” Want and guilt and shame ran through your mind and Sam squeezed you tighter, feeling the conflict.

“I mean… I don’t want to make you guys worried.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Dean allowed an edge of authority to creep into his voice, needing you to be truthful. “Do you want us to play with that other little hole of yours?” You squirmed in Sam’s arms. “Answer me, kitten.”

“Yes… I think?” You came out of your hiding place with a furrowed brow. “I don’t know if I’ll like it but I do want to try. Not right now though.”

“Alright, that settles it then.” Dean kissed the top of your head. “We’re going to try it later babydoll but it goes at your pace. For now…” He turned his attention to Sam. “I know a pretty boy who hasn’t had his turn to cum yet…” The smirk on Dean’s face was pure sex and Sam whined low in his throat, growing hard under your thigh.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


_“In other news, Dick Roman, the business tycoon and motivational speaking mogul appears to have found another passion in archeology. Roman was recently seen at a dig near the coast of Sudan. He has not responded to any questions at this time, but we will kee-”_  

 

You turned the TV off and sat back, frowning in confusion.

“Archeology? Are they looking for dinosaurs or something?”

“Who knows?” Sam flopped down next to you. “But it seems like something to keep an eye on.” You jumped to your feet when the doorbell rang.

Dean came downstairs, gun in hand, and glanced through the peephole.

“Anyone order a redhead?”

A voice was audible through the thick wood of the door. “Is this the Winchester’s house? I need their help!” Sam nodded at his brother, positioning himself between you and the entryway, and Dean opened the door to let in a pretty young woman.

“Who are you and why do you need our help?”

“My name’s Charlie Bradbury and my boss is a monster.”

  
  
  


“Wow…” You took another sip of tea. “That’s impressive.”

Charlie had just finished explaining her story. She worked in IT at Roman Enterprises and, while repairing the company’s email server, she had stumbled across information about Leviathan. The entire plan was laid out within Dick Roman’s personal folders.

“Yeah… Like I said, I didn’t want to believe it at first.”

“So what made you?” Dean was still watching her suspiciously.

Charlie shuddered. “I saw my manager eat a sales rep.” Sam’s eyebrows shot up and Dean nodded.

“That would be pretty convincing.”

“That doesn’t explain everything.” The boys glanced over when they felt the anger and fear in your mind. “How did you know about Sam and Dean? And more importantly, how did you find us? Our house is hidden.”

“This is where it gets extra weird.” Charlie smiled sheepishly. “I had this dream… With an angel?”

_Of course she did…_

“Was his name Gabriel?” She nodded at your question and you rolled your eyes before sighing. “Okay so clearly Gabriel believes that you’re the answer to our problems. Now we just need to figure out why…” You winced when you realized how that sounded. “Sorry, I wasn’t questioning your skills or usefulness or anything.”

“No offence taken.” Charlie smiled. “He said that I could help you see what my boss is doing. I’m guessing it has to do with the fact that I hacked into his email. If Dick Roman has secrets, I can dig them up for you.”

“Speaking of digging…” Sam leaned forward. “See anything about Sudan?”

  
  
  


Ten hours later found you all standing around a suitcase. Charlie had confirmed that Roman found whatever he was looking for and that it was on its way. With a fairly impressive level of espionage (your boys tended to be more the bulls in a china shop type), you had successfully switched his delivery with a borax bomb.

“So what do you think is in there?” Charlie whispered. Dean shot her a questioning glance and she shrugged. “I don’t know, everything else has been sneaky… Whispering just felt right.” Sam started opening the case but stopped and looked at the redhead.

“You should open it. You did all the hard work.” Barely containing her squeal of excitement, Charlie lifted the lid and revealed…

“The fuck is that?” Dean’s outrage would have been funny were you not also irritated by the nondescript rock.

“I don’t know but let’s maybe get it home.” While you weren’t at Roman’s building anymore, you were still uncomfortable being out in the open with something the Leviathan had wanted so badly.

“Sounds like a good plan. Let’s just get this packed u-SHIT!” You looked just in time to see Charlie bump into the suitcase, sending it crashing to the concrete ground. The rock shattered as lightning struck the sky. The Earth rumbled beneath your feet, scattering bits of rock about and revealing a smaller black stone, flat with symbols etched into it. A piercing ring echoed through your head and you shrieked, holding your ears. That did nothing to stop the sound as it seemed to be coming from within you. You wrenched your eyes open to see Sam, Dean, and Charlie looking at you in confusion. The ringing slowly began to fade and you took several gasping breaths.

“Holy elephant jizz that was loud!”

“What was loud?” Sam brushed your hair aside and you frowned.

“You guys didn’t hear that?” All three shook their heads. “Well that’s just peachy…”

  


 

* * *

 

  
  


When you arrived back at your house (after dropping Charlie off at a bus station), all three of you tensed. The light was on in the kitchen and one of the upstairs windows was open. Dean went in first, followed by you and then Sam, each of you ready with a weapon.

“Hey kids!” Gabriel stood in the doorway of the kitchen in a periwinkle apron. “I made dinner, go wash up.”

“What's going on?”

“I guess we're having dinner with an angel.” Sam led the way upstairs where you all changed and washed up. Gabriel had prepared what looked like a Thanksgiving feast and Dean didn't hesitate to dig in. He choked on his food though when your second houseguest walked in.

“Hey Cas” Blue eyes stayed glued to the floor as the seraph sat down stiffly. Gabriel coughed pointedly and Castiel sighed before mumbling a greeting. “It’s good to see you again. We really missed you man.”

“He missed you too.” Gabriel glared at his brother. “Cassie here has been moping around this whole time.

“Sure doesn’t seem that way.” Sam snorted, angry with the seraph for abandoning his dom. Dean shot his brother a glare before smiling gently at Castiel.

“Well like I said, I’m glad that you’re here.”

“So not that it isn’t great to see you guys… because it is!” You realized how that must have sounded and hurried to reassure the angels. “But what brings you to our neck of the woods?” Before either of them could answer, you heard a crash from the laundry room. Immediately, you and the boys shot to your feet. The angels however, stayed seated.

“That would be our reason.” Gabriel smiled. “Come on in Kevin!” There was more banging around before the door opened and a teenage boy ran into the room, eyes glowing gold.

“Where is it? Give it to me!”

  
  


“Word of God, huh?” Dean squinted at the stone tablet clutched tight in Kevin’s hands. “And MENSA here can read it?”

“Yup-er-roonie!” Gabriel grinned. “Kevin here is a keeper of the word-a prophet! And that tablet tells us all we need to know about Leviathan.” He piled more potatoes onto Kevin’s plate. “Eat up squirt, you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Gabriel?” The archangel looked up from his spiderman comic book. “I have a question.” Castiel had requested to speak with your soulmates in private and you were happy to give Dean as much time with his angel as possible. In the meantime, it gave you an opportunity to get to the bottom of an issue that had been weighing heavily on your mind.

“Go ahead kiddo!” Gabriel smiled. “I’ll answer any question you have.”

“It’s about the tablet.” You sat down next to the angel on the couch. “When we cracked it open, I heard this… noise. No one else seemed to hear it but I swear it was the loudest thing ever.” An arm wrapped around your shoulders and the archangel tutted.

“That would be my fault. You’ve still got some grace hanging on in that soul of yours. Every angel would have heard a call when the tablet was opened. I guess you picked up the beacon too.” You had been afraid of that.

“Will the grace always be there? Am I part angel now or something?” You wrinkled your nose and Gabriel chuckled.

“Yes and no. I don’t think I can safely remove it at this point but you’re still 100% human. No wings, no flying… Just a little extra juice to your magic and a subscription to The Heavenly Herald.” Maybe it was the grace tied to your soul, or maybe it was the sheer power of the being sitting next to you but something about Gabriel made you feel calm and safe. You leaned against him, allowing yourself to feel the weight of the situation. For weeks now you had been going nonstop, refusing to think too hard about what was going on because worrying would only make the problem worse. Gabriel’s presence was sheltering though and before you knew it, tears had begun to build up in your eyes. The archangel whispered something in a language you couldn’t understand and tightened his grip on you. “It’s all going to work out my animula... You’ll see.”

  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  


With the tablet translated and Kevin back in his own home, you, the boys, and the angels sat down to formulate a plan.

“Of course it’s bones and blood… What is it with monsters and body parts?” Dean made a face of disgust as you read through the ingredients for a Leviathan-killing weapon.

“Alright so we need the bone of a righteous mortal and blood from a fallen angel, the ruler of fallen humanity, and a father of fallen beasts…” You looked up. “That’s one hell of a shopping list.” There was a thumping sound as Castiel placed a small bottle of blood on the table.

“The fallen angel is taken care of.” He was badly concealing a proud smile and you snorted.

“Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?” Sam rubbed the bridge of his nose. “What are we supposed to do once we make this weapon? We kill Dick and poof there’s no problem anymore?”

“Hey if you’ve got a better idea, I’d love to hear it.” Dean tilted his head back, trying to balance a pencil on his forehead. “This seems like our only real option.” You reached over and flicked his nose, making him lose concentration and drop the pencil.

“Alright kids, let’s focus.” Gabriel was uncharacteristically serious. “We need to figure out how to get the rest of the pieces. Whose blood do we need next?”

“Ruler of fallen humanity… Crowley?” Sam looked to the rest of you for approval and you all agreed that sounded correct. “What’s the father of fallen beasts?”

“Well I would say an Alpha but those are all gone…” Dean sighed. “We handed them over to Crowley.”

“Sounds like we need to request an audience with the king.” You stood. “If it’s all the same to you though, I’d like to do it somewhere else. We’ve had way too many visitors for what’s supposed to be a secret base.”

  
  
  


Crowley had been amenable enough, showing up at the motel room Gabriel zapped you and the boys to. The demon king still didn’t know that you had angels on your side and you wanted to keep it that way, telling Gabriel and Castiel to hang back while you met with him.

“Well well well” Crowley smirked. “If it isn’t Cupcake and the twinkies. What can I do for you?” Dean opened his mouth to speak but Crowley held up a hand. “If it’s all the same, I’d rather hear this from your lady. Her voice is far more pleasant.” You rolled your eyes but acquiesced.

“We’ve found a way to take out the Leviathan but we need blood of the three fallen to do it, your blood fits the bill.”

“And how did you come by that little recipe?”

“Don’t worry about that.” Sam glared down at the monarch. “Are you going to help us or not?”

“Of course. But I’ll need some insurance. Do you have any idea how horrible it could be if you let that blood slip into the wrong hands?”

“What kind of insurance are we talking here?” Dean stepped closer, patience for the demon wearing thin.

“Obviously it needs to be something important. Something you would guard with your very lives…” Crowley’s eyes traveled to you and Dean growled.

“No deal.” The monarch rolled his eyes and turned back to the boys.

“Fine. Then you can have my blood after you have everything else.” He turned to leave but stopped. “By the way, I would recommend speaking with some vampires. They may prove useful.” With a dismissive sniff, he vanished, leaving you and the boys alone in the room. You prayed to Gabriel, letting him know things were over, and he zapped you back home to a somewhat confusing sight.

 

It was a heartbroken archangel that sat in your living room, staring forlornly at a single leaf of lettuce.

“Gabriel? What’s with the rabbit food?”

“It’s infected.” Honey eyes shone with tears. “My candy, my chocolate, everything.” You and your soulmates all looked to Castiel in confusion.

“We received an electronic-mail correspondence from your friend Charlie.” Castiel turned Sam’s laptop around. “It appears that corn syrup is now tainted with mind-altering substances to make humans easier prey for Leviathans. We are unsure of the effects it may have on angels so I have advised Gabriel steer clear of any processed foodstuffs. Anything that has been produced within the past month is potentially contaminated” Realizing the implications, you and Sam shared a panicked glance. Dean was going to freak out.

  
  
  


The five of you sat around the kitchen table, discussing the conversation you’d had with Crowley. Both Gabriel and Dean were pouting in a way that was both annoying and adorable.

“Why do you think he mentioned vampires? Do you think the alpha vamp is still alive?”

Dean shrugged. “Could be. Only question now is how do we find him?”

“I have an idea…” Gabriel continued glaring at his lettuce leaf as he spoke. “There’s a monastery in Montana that was taken by vampires about sixty years ago. It could at least be a place to start.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Sam looked almost offended to not be the one with useful knowledge.

“I know whenever holy land is desecrated Sam. Comes with the halo.” Dean nodded and stood.   
“Sounds like we’re going to Montana.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


It was still strange to have the boys put up little to no fight about you accompanying them on dangerous trips. They seemed to be second-guessing that new policy though going by the regret they broadcasted as the three of you were dragged into a grand room and shoved before the alpha vampire. Chills ran down your spine as you looked at the creature that still haunted your nightmares. He gave you a secretive smile before addressing the boys.

“Well if it isn’t the Winchesters… Tell me boys, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“We need your help.” Sam’s voice was shaky and you had to fight the urge to give him some kind of comforting touch.

“And why would such a request require you to be armed?” Your confiscated weapons sat on the middle of the table, proving that you had been packing when you entered.

“We thought you might hold a grudge…”

“Why? Because you kidnapped me? Tortured me? Sold me to the king of Hell?”

“That was really more our grandpa” Dean smiled sheepishly then grunted when a vampire slammed his head to the table in reprimand for his cheek. You cried out in alarm, struggling against the vampire holding you in place.

“You silly creatures have walked right into your deaths.” The alpha smirked and you felt your heart begin to race.

“Wait!” Sam fixed desperate eyes on the alpha. “Please just listen!” All attention left him though when inhuman shrieks were heard from the other side of the wall. The screams grew louder as a vampire came running into the room, face sizzling.

“Father help me!” It let out another wail before collapsing to the floor, blistered and dead.

“That wasn’t us.” Dean was quick to assure the alpha but he shook his head.

“I’m aware. This is no new occurrence. We have been experiencing… negative reactions to some blood lately.”

You gasped as an epiphany hit you. “Did it start about a month ago?” The alpha narrowed his eyes and nodded. “I know what’s causing this. It’s the corn syrup. It must be poison!”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“What do you know about Leviathan?” Sam’s voice was full of confidence again and you smiled inwardly, glad that your soulmate was back in control.

  


Unfortunately, that relief was short-lived. It turned out that the vampires were at least in cahoots with the Leviathan. Now you and the boys were locked in an eerie sitting room while the alpha chatted with one of Dick Roman’s henchmen.

“We are so fucked.” You paced restlessly. “Dracula over there is so arrogant that he’s going to get himself, us, and all of his children killed because he thinks he’s stronger than anything else.”

“Hey!” Dean grabbed your wrist to stop your movement. “No one said anything about us dying.” Sam cried out triumphantly from the other side of the room and you looked over to see that he had picked the lock. “Alright, let’s haul ass.”

“Wait” you lingered. “We still need that blood.” As much as Dean hated it, you were right, and the three of you crept back to the room you had been pulled from, grabbing kitchen knives on the way.

You got there just in time to see the alpha and the Leviathan brawling. As the Leviathan prepared to bite the alpha, Sam came charging through and sliced its head off. As you all stared at the decapitated corpse oozing black all over the carpet, the alpha sighed heavily.

“Alright… You may have my blood.” He raised his head to glare at Dean. “And then you will leave.”

  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  


It was kind of nice to have angels waiting for you at home. You had barely walked through the door before Gabriel grabbed you and Sam, Castiel snatching Dean, to heal the minor injuries you had acquired.

“Were you successful?” Castiel asked, earning a dazzling smile from Dean.

“We got some Dracula blood.”

“Good.” Gabriel’s jaw was tight. “Because we’ve got a lot less time to work with. Dick has Kevin.”

“What?!” You whirled around.

“Yes, and several of our brothers and sisters died attempting to protect him.” Castiel’s eyes dropped to the floor. A few moments of silence passed before the seraph perked up slightly, holding up a bundle of cloth. “I did get you the bone of a nun though. Now all that remains is Crowley.”

  
  
  


“Well isn’t this familiar?” The demon king turned his lip in distaste at the same motel room you had summoned him to last time. “Do they even change the sheets here? I’d bet my whore mother’s soul that semen stain is in the exact same location as it was before.”

“Yeah it’s a flea-bag.” You kept your arms crossed, glaring at the monarch. “Look, we have everything else. Now give us your blood.”

“Alright… Fair’s fair and all that.” Crowley tossed you a full vial of blood before disappearing again.

  


Before you knew it, you and the boys (along with the angels) were sneaking into Sucrocorp headquarters. You and Sam went looking for Kevin while Dean and the angels went after Dick.

The prophet was tied up in an office, duct tape covering his mouth. As soon as you freed him, he grabbed your arm.

“We have to blow up the lab. They have cream. They’re going to kill the skinny people!”

“Excuse me?”

Kevin huffed in irritation and scrambled to his feet. “I’ll explain on the way, let’s just go!”

  


It turns out Dick was in the lab. You, Sam, and Kevin burst through the doors to see Dean and the angels standing off against the head Leviathan. Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out the blood-washed bone while Castiel held their enemy in place. Just as he was preparing to run the sharp end through Dick’s neck, Gabriel shoved him out of the way.

“I’m sorry, Dean but I can’t let you do this.” The archangel looked over at you and Sam sadly before stabbing Dick Roman. “See you kids on the other side. Now get down!” He waved his hand in your direction, sending you all back against the wall. The air around Dick began pulsing. Castiel spared Dean one last longing glance before the Leviathan exploded, shooting black everywhere.

When the air cleared, Dick was gone but so were your angels.

“We should go…” Kevin was tugging at Sam’s sleeve but your soulmate was frozen as were you and Dean. “Guys come on there’s more on the way!”

“Don’t worry.” A familiar smarmy voice made you whirl around to see Crowley. “I have a small army of demons outside who are more than capable of eliminating the problem.”

“Where’s Cas and Gabriel?” Dean growled.

“Oh so you are acknowledging your angels now?” Crowley smirked. “That bone had a bit of a kick.”

“Where are they?” You shoved past Dean, getting right in Crowley’s face. Sam came rushing behind you, trying to pull you back. “Where did they go?”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you cupcake.” Crowley snapped his fingers and two demons appeared, grabbing Kevin and disappearing. “It looks like Mummy and Daddy angel have gone. Time to be a big girl.” With another snap, he vanished, leaving you and the boys alone in the destroyed lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the delay but I've been SUPER busy. Since the last time I posted I turned 26 (officially same age as Reader who I made older than me for some fucking reason), had a really good phone interview for this super awesome job in my career field, kind of got offered a paid job at my internship (basically everything except paperwork), and had a major case of sad because depression is a bitch.
> 
> I'm in this weird place where everything's coming up Milhouse but I'm also kinda crashing and burning? 
> 
> Extreme side note-I know Jenna Marbles isn't everyone's cup of tea but she put out this video where she sings a song about getting taller and I've watched it at least twice every day since it came out and cried laughing every single time and I'm pretty sure this is my new religion and it's so funny and if you don't get it then you don't get me and my sister just doesn't know what's funny and this sentence has been going for a really long time but I can't seem to stop please help bye


	39. Celine Dion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and her boys struggle to adjust to life without their angels. An old ally appears, bringing up some old arguments. And where are the angels?
> 
> Also-there's a fart joke and crack treated seriously so buckle up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do little idea dumps at the beginning of each chapter as I'm writing them and this is drawn straight from there: "...and what the fuck are we going to do about that bc I didn’t have Dean in Purgatory so Sam didn’t have the chance to drop the ball???… So there goes our major angst point of the whole fucking season but that’s fine we’ll make it work."
> 
> It's important to believe in yourself, kids.

Losing the angels and Kevin was earth-shatteringly difficult. All three of you were grieving but had reached a rather unique compromise. Rather than fall into your usual habits of alcohol and isolation, you decided to seek comfort via sex. It wasn’t the best possible solution but it was an improvement. That’s what brought you to this current position.

“How’s that princess?” Dean continued swirling a lubed finger over the whorl of your backdoor. “Feel nice?” He had been working you up for a while now, making you cum twice on his tongue before arranging you on top of Sam so the switch could monitor your face while Dean played with your ass.

“Mmmmmmm” you hummed and wiggled, earling a warning tap on your flank.

“Use your words kitten.”

“It feels good, Dean.” You ducked your head down and blushed. “More please?”

“Of course babydoll.” Dean added more lube and pressed a bit harder, letting his fingertip tease in every few passes. Hearing nothing but content noises from your lips, Dean didn’t pull his finger out the next time it slipped in. You grimaced a bit at the stretch and Sam rained soothing kisses across your face. “What’s your color kitten?” Dean was glad that you couldn’t see him because while he could keep his voice steady, there was no hiding the worry in his face.

“Gr-green” you whispered, nuzzling into Sam’s throat.

“Are you sure? Don’t think you have to do this. We want you to feel good and safe honey and if this is uncomfortable then we can stop.” You huffed and tilted your hips towards him.

“Dean I love you and I appreciate that you’re trying to be careful and respectful but if you keep questioning me, this isn’t going to work. It’s not the most comfortable thing in the world right now but I want to keep going.” Sam looked over your shoulder and the boys shared one of their silent conversations.

“....alright sugar, I’ll ask less. But-” Dean pinched your thigh. “If you’re being dishonest or trying to force yourself through something you don’t like just for us, I  **_will_ ** make you regret it. ” At your nod of agreement, Dean twisted his finger and stretched you enough to take another. You squealed when his other hand came down to toy with your clit, the pleasure making you clench around his fingers. After a few minutes of this, he shifted you into more of a kneeling position, hovering over Sam's hard length. The switch licked his lips in anticipation and helped you settle before guiding his cock into your cunt. All three of you drew in a gasp.

“Jesus…” Sam threw his head back. “You really like this, huh? You're so wet.” 

“Can you feel Dean's fingers?” You asked, ignoring Sam's question. You missed Dean's dirty grin but felt him wiggle the digits inside you to run against the line of Sam's cock.

“Yeah Sammy, can you feel me?” Sam tried to glare but another brush against the wall between the brothers had him moaning. You giggled and swirled your hips experimentally, getting a feel for the new sensations. 

“Good girl” Dean's voice had taken on a darker tone. “Just like that baby, you're running the show. Go ahead and ride us.” The brothers stayed mostly still (Sam unable to hold back the occasional bucking of his hips), letting you control the speed and depth of their double penetration. The fingers in your rear weren't exceptionally pleasurable on their own but they were creating a delicious sense of fullness, making Sam feel even larger inside you. It felt incredible but at the same time… While you were loving the feeling of having both holes filled, the actual movement of Dean's fingers kept an edge of discomfort, preventing what you could tell would be a strong orgasm.

“(Y/N)” Dean squeezed your hip when he felt frustration pulse through the bond. “Talk to me.”

“Can you.. “ you blushed “Can you move with me or something? I like having your fingers inside but the actual in-and-out is weird.” You bit your lip and whispered “I'm sorry…” To your utter humiliation, there were tears building in your eyes, the newness of this intimacy making you feel exceptionally vulnerable.

“Whoa hey now…” Sam hushed you. “It's okay sweetheart. You're doing so well, being so so good and brave for us.” You sniffled in response, wrapping your arms around yourself. Sam glanced worriedly up at Dean and the older Winchester withdrew his fingers, crawling up the bed so he could look at both his soulmates.

“Thank you for being honest and sharing how you were feeling babygirl. I want this to be nice for you and I need to know if something is uncomfortable.” You nodded minutely, eyes still downcast as you felt shame pooling in your belly. Dean tilted his head back in thought for a moment. “If you're up for it, I have an idea. Remember how I plugged up Sammy on my birthday? We could try doing that.” Fear raced through you as you remembered how huge that plug had been and you whimpered a bit. Dean was quick to reassure you though. “Easy kitten, I wouldn't use something that big.” His cheeks reddened a bit. “I might have picked up a baby plug for your sweet ass.” Your eyes widened and Dean got out of bed, stopping to wash his hands in the en suite before opening the closet and pulling out a locked box. After fussing a bit with the contents, he came back. “See? Not scary at all.” In his hand was a lavender colored plug about as long as Sam's pinky and twice as thick at its widest point. “Wanna give it a whirl?” You bit your lip and nodded. “Alright then get that cute little bottom in the air.” The plug was a bit uncomfortable going in, with less give than Dean's fingers but once it was seated, you felt that wonderful fullness return. Sam saw your shoulders relax and smiled before flipping you into your back and bracing your legs over his shoulders so he could slam in.

“Fuck you're tight like this. Feel good?” You moaned and nodded, arching into the hand that skittered across your torso. Taking that as permission, Sam began driving into you with abandon. It was rough but so good and you reached out for Dean, urging him closer so you could take him into your mouth, needing contact with both boys. Grunts and moans filled the air and you felt the orgasm you missed out on before begin to creep up again. The thing that sent you over the edge though was looking up and seeing the brothers kissing each other filthily. As he felt you flutter around him, Sam groaned and reached down to worry at your clit and drag the orgasm on longer. Dean's cock fell from your lips as you wailed and Sam, in an impressive show off his and your flexibility, bent forward to swallow his brother down. Your legs were still over his shoulders, folding you in half and forcing him deeper, his never-slowing thrusts now angled perfectly against that magical place inside you.

“Oh fuck Sammy… Such a good boy” Dean grabbed the switch's hair to tug how he liked. “Taking such good care of us baby boy. Look at him, (Y/N). See how pretty he is when he's all needy like that?” As Dean babbled, you were spasming, not sure if you could handle more pleasure. Just when you were deciding you couldn't, Sam came with a bellow. He pulled out of you and attacked Dean with a new fervor, greedily swallowing the cum he was rewarded with and taking a few deep breaths before turning to nuzzle his face against yours.

“Thank you for trusting us babe, that was amazing.” You smiled dreamily at him and bumped your noses together. “Do you want to take the toy out now?” You mewled and leaned further into him, nosing at his collarbone. Sam shook his head fondly and looked at Dean. “Not really sure what that means.”

“Let's give her a minute.” Dean stretched out and reached over your body to comb his fingers through Sam's hair. “You're incredible, you know that? Made both of us feel so good.” Sam blushed but preened at the praise, leaning into Dean's hand. “Gorgeous perfect thing. My Sammy… I love you so much baby boy.” Sam's blush darkened and he wrapped his arms around your waist, draping your floppy body over his. 

“Don't forget our girl…” Sam traced the anti-possession tattoo between your shoulder blades. “She's amazing…”

“That's true” Dean booped your nose. “She's the sweetest girl we ever could have imagined-maybe even sweeter! And so brave, trying something new for us.” He rained small kisses on your face and neck, smiling at your unfettered giggles. As Sam continued the steady stream of praises and comforting touches, Dean worked his way down your body and freed the pale purple toy. You whined a bit when he left the bedroom to clean the plug and return it to the toybox but settled easily, curling up in Sam’s arms. When Dean finally came back, he immediately felt your eyes on him.

“Hey pretty girl” he cooed, noticing that you were a bit more lucid. The dom crawled back into bed, taking his place on your other side. “You did so good. I love you so much babydoll.”

“Luff y’too” you slurred, trying to somehow get closer to both Winchesters at the same time. Sam pressed his body more firmly against yours, pulling a blanket over your 

shivering form. 

“Think you can drink something for me?” Dean pulled a juicebox out of the minifridge masquerading as a nightstand. You opened your mouth for the bendy straw, cool apple juice sweet on your tongue. Dean helped Sam drink a box as well, wanting to boost both of your hydration and sugar levels. When the boxes were empty, he wiped you and Sam down with a wet cloth, removing the dried sweat and lube and cum and slick. “You two are messy!” He teased, biting gently at the inside of your thigh. You giggled and drew your legs up, curling into Sam’s arms and enjoying the lighthearted easiness of the moment.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


 

_“See you kids on the other side. Now get down!”_

_Gabriel drove the sharpened bone through Dick Roman’s neck. The air began pulsing and an unpleasant sensation-not dissimilar to forced banishment-crept its way through the archangel’s body. Castiel must be feeling it too as the seraph was too busy gazing at Dean to see Gabriel’s silent pleas to run. The pulsing grew faster and faster before all the atoms making up Gabriel’s vessel came crashing together, blowing back apart in a place unlike anything the archangel had ever seen. It was similar to Earth but… wrong. The colors were dull, the air musty… It was as if everything light and good and joyful had been sucked out, leaving behind an empty husk of what the world should look like._

  
  


“Where are we?” Castiel’s eyes were wide and fearful. “Gabriel please tell me this place isn’t what I think it is!” Gabriel’s heart broke at the absolute terror on his brother’s face.

“I’m so sorry Cassie.”

“Gabriel, where are we?!”

“Purgatory…”

 

**_CRACK!!!_ **

 

Castiel had clearly been spending too much time with the Winchesters. Angels were soldiers, but Gabriel had never met another angel with a right-hook like that. Gabriel clutched his stinging cheek, watching hopelessly as his little brother stormed off into the forest.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
  
  


Eight months had passed since the fall of Dick Roman and you and your soulmates were slowly adjusting to a new normal. You’d gone out on a few cases, sticking to small things until you got your sea legs. Any talk of the angels or Kevin was off-limits, the wounds still too fresh. While scrolling through local news articles though, you found a reason to break the rule.

“Hey guys, check this out!” You hopped down off the kitchen counter, turning your laptop around so the boys could see the article you’d been reading. “Kevin’s back!” Sam choked on his banana as his eyes skimmed the headline  _ Missing Honors Student Spotted _ with a picture of Kevin underneath. “Think he knows where the angels are?”

“Only one way to find out.” Dean tapped Sam’s dropped chin, focing the switch to close his mouth (which you genuinely appreciated as seeing half-chewed fruit was just gross) and stood. “Sammy, see if you can track him down. That article’s a couple of months old so he could be anywhere by now.”

  
  


Kevin’s credit card history sent the three of you on a wild goose chase. You had been through dozens of towns, visiting gas stations and coffee shops. His credit card had even been used at a zoo and you used your perfect imitation of Sam’s puppy dog eyes to get Dean on board with “investigating” the attraction. He couldn’t find it in himself to stay annoyed though when you were excitedly babbling about fruit bats and giraffes. Plus he got an elephant ear out of the deal (leading to cinnamon-sugary kisses that he would never admit to loving) and he didn’t even have to say anything for you and Sam to skip past the wolves, coyotes, and other canines.

When Kevin’s card was used at the school his girlfriend went to, you really thought you’d hit gold. Unfortunately, she was little help and the three of you were quickly back to square one. 

“This kid really doesn’t want to be found.” You stole a french fry from Dean’s plate, unfazed by his death-glare.

“He was here though…” Sam turned his laptop around. “I got into the security feed from the time he was supposed to be around.” On the screen was a familiar face. “Recognize anyone?”

“So he came all the way here but didn’t visit his girlfriend? What’s that about?”

“I don’t know.” Sam grinned proudly. “But I do know where he is now.” You and Dean tilted your heads in confusion. “I found the computer he used and the website he logged into, hacked the website, saw where else that username had logged in, and reverse-tracked the IP address.” You both stared blankly and Sam rolled his eyes. “I LoJacked his ass to Iowa.”

  
  


Kevin’s hiding place turned out to be an abandoned church. Sam knocked on the door but there was no answer. Dean approached the door with his lockpick but stopped when you grabbed his sleeve.

“What?”

“Are we really about to break into a church? That seems dirty even for us.” 

“Well no offense sugarplum but we ain’t got any angels on our shoulders anymore.” Dean’s casual mention of Castiel and Gabriel shocked you into letting go and he quickly had the door open. You had barely crept through when Sam accidentally set off a tripwire, causing a bucket of holy water and cleaning solution to fall over all of your heads. Kevin came rushing around the corner holding up a super soaker.

“Kevin?” Rather than responding to your greeting, he began squirting you with more of the mixture.

“Dude!” Dean held his arm up to block you and Sam from the spray. “We’re not demons or Leviathan!”

“Sorry…” Kevin lowered the gun. “Can’t be too careful.” He smiled sheepishly at your wet and glaring faces. “Want some towels?” 

  
  
  


“So what happened?” You twisted a washcloth through your damp ponytail, grimacing at the thought of what the chemicals must be doing to your hair. “How’d you escape Crowley?” Kevin opened his mouth to speak but you interrupted him. “And where did you learn all these sigils?” The walls and floor were covered in anti-demon warding.

“And where’s Cas?” Dean asked gruffly, wincing when you elbowed him in the stomach. “Fine, and Gabriel too…”

“I don’t know where the angels are.” Kevin leaned back in a pew. “Crowley took me to a warehouse and-”

“Of fucking course it was a warehouse.” you muttered, looking up at Sam. “I have a theory about those places.”

“Do you guys want to know what happened or do you want to hear yourselves talk?!” Kevin’s face was red with irritation and you curled up meekly, gesturing for him to go on. “As I was saying…” He gave you a warning glare and you scooted closer to Dean. “Crowley took me to a warehouse and showed me a tablet. Not the Leviathan one that I read before. This was about demons. I don’t know where or how he got it but he wanted me to read it for him. At first I couldn’t understand anything but then I found something about Hell Gates.” Sam gasped and shifted, leaning forward to listen closer. “It turns out there’s one in Wisconsin and the tablet told me how to open it and what ingredients I would need. So, I told him what I needed and the demons brought me everything. When it came time to perform the spell though, Crowley wasn’t with me anymore. He was waiting in Wisconsin.” Kevin licked his lips and smirked. “Which was a bit of a pity since I nuked every demon in a five mile radius when I did the spell.”

“Wait what?” Dean couldn’t hold back now. “So you told the king of Hell how to open a gate and killed all of his buddies?”

“No way!” Kevin chuckled. “I told Crowley I was opening a Hell Gate when really, I was reading from another chapter… A chapter about how to destroy demons.”

“You crafty son of a bitch!” Dean clapped Kevin on the shoulder, grinning widely. “Then what?”

“Then I hid the tablet somewhere safe and found a place to lay low. But not before reading about how to close the Gates of Hell forever.”

“You mean…?”

“I mean wipe every demon off the face of the Earth and keep them from ever coming back.” The shit-eating grin on Kevin’s face would have been funny were you and your soulmates not sporting identical ones of your own.

  
  
  


You had stayed in the church with Kevin, eating cold ravioli out of the can and plotting the end of demon-dom. Now, it was well into the night and you were sprawled out along a pew, dozing while the guys continued to talk. Suddenly, the ground began to shake, throwing you onto the floor. You squeaked and scrambled to your feet, holding onto Sam for balance. The devil-traps on the floor were broken as the floorboards splintered and Dean quickly handed out weapons, the four of you standing back to back in a circle, unsure where the threat would be coming from.

“Kev…” A trio of low-level demons stood in the main doorway. “We’ve missed you sport.” Without even needing to discuss it, you and the boys moved as one, each taking on a different opponent. As the last demon fell to the floor, you heard Kevin cry out in surprise before an all-too-familiar voice sounded.

“Hello boys… Cupcake…” Crowley was smirking, flanked by Kevin’s ex-girlfriend.

“Channing!” Kevin began rushing forward but Sam held him back.

“That’s not Channing. Look at her eyes.” The completely black gaze gave away her identity as a demon and Kevin deflated.

“What a horrible thing to say!” Crowley tutted. “Kevin my dear, of course this is Channing. She just has a few… upgrades. But if you come with me now and return my tablet I will restore her to her former mediocrity and let her go.” He looked over at the possessed woman. “Let the girl talk.” The black faded from her eyes and Channing blinked a few times before grinning at Kevin.

“Kevin? What’s going on?”

“You have a demon inside you and you’re going to your safety school.” Her face fell and Dean scoffed in disgust, muttering something about priorities. “But don’t worry, it’ll be okay.” Crowley snapped his fingers and her eyes turned back to black.

“Now Kev, what’s it going to be? Your freedom or hers?”

“Hers.” Dean groaned and Sam began to argue but Kevin glared at both of them before turning back to Crowley. “Myself for the girl. But this has to be the end of it.”

“Of course.” Crowley smiled. “I like the way you bargain.”

“I’ll just go get my things.” Kevin walked away, leaving you and the boys with Crowley.

“Well…” The demon king put his hands in his pockets. “It’s a good thing this isn’t awkward.” A few beats of silents passed. “Kevin? Are you nearly ready love?” He sighed. “They always do take so long, don’t they?” With a flick of his fingers, the knife in Dean’s hand went flying against the wall and Crowley sauntered past the three of you. “Kevin?” Suddenly, you heard the sound of water sloshing and screaming. Among the noise was Kevin’s voice directing the three of you to run. Not needing to be told twice, you bolted, meeting the young prophet in the car.

“Smart thinking there, Kevin.” Dean grinned up into the rearview mirror before frowning. “Kevin?” He followed the teen’s gaze to the front of the church where Crowley glared before snapping his fingers. Channing’s head whipped to the side and she collapsed, dead.

  
  
  


Thirty-two miles later, Dean stopped for gas. While he went to the restroom and Sam ducked inside for snacks (promising you gummy worms), you turned to your backseat companion.

“Hey Kevin, I’m so sorry man. I wish I knew what to sa-mff!” Your condolences were cut off by the eighteen year old throwing himself at you, knocking you onto your back and kissing the daylights out of you. When struggling and shoving did nothing, you bit down harshly on his lip, drawing blood. He reared back, giving you enough opportunity to headbutt him and pop open the car door, shimmying your way out. “What the fuck?! You don’t get to do that asshat!” At the sound of your shouting, the boys came back, frowning at the sight of you shouting at Kevin while lying on the ground.

“What’s going on here?” You looked at Dean’s expression which was growing more and more murderous by the second and then back at Kevin who looked lost and heartbroken. Sighing, you realized what you had to do.

“What’s going on is Kevin farted something nasty and locked the doors.” You gave the confused teen a minute nod before scrambling to your feet. “I’m gonna roll the windows down, let’s give the car a minute to air out.” The boys raised their eyebrows but nodded, letting you roll down the windows and finding a bench to hang out on. Kevin followed them, glancing over his shoulder at you.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


Even fire was different in Purgatory. Gabriel huddled closer to the dull flames, trying to bring some warmth back into his vessel. From the moment he’d landed in Purgatory, the archangel had been as good as human, grace completely depleted. He had been wandering the forest for what felt like weeks and it wasn’t until he passed out from exhaustion that he finally accepted his body’s limitations. Upon waking, he found himself in a makeshift campsite complete with fire and a sad little shelter fashioned out of a familiar coat.

“I suppose I should thank you.” Castiel’s gravelly voice startled Gabriel before the seraph flopped to the ground begrudgingly.

“Oh?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “What brought you to that conclusion?”

“You saved Dean.” Castiel’s gaze remained firmly fixed on the fire. “If you hadn’t pushed him out of the way, he would have been dragged here instead.” A long silence passed before Castiel turned and met his brother’s eyes. “Thank you for keeping Dean safe. I know he is not your favorite human by any means and I am grateful that you sacrificed your own freedom to protect his.”

“Cassie…” Gabriel slowly scooted closer to the other angel, stopping when he saw Castiel tense in discomfort. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I would die to protect Dean.” Castiel scoffed but said nothing more, returning his focus to the fire. Gabriel pretended not to notice how the seraph’s lips tilted up in a half-smile and when the younger angel closed the distance between them and leaned against Gabriel’s side, he let the stammered excuse of needing body heat go as truth.

  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

You never got the chance to talk to Kevin about what had transpired in the car. Before the two of you had an opportunity to speak privately, he was gone, having fled shortly after Dean attempted to kill Crowley while the demon was wearing Kevin’s mom.

  
  
  


“Since he’s well out of punching range, I think I can let you guys in on a secret about Kevin.” You were sitting on the bed in a motel room in your pajamas, trying not to drool at the sight of Sam fresh out of the shower.

“What kind of secret would make us want to punch him?” Dean asked, yanking the towel off of Sam’s waist and joining you on the bed, chuckling at the exasperated groan Sam let out. “C’mon Sammy, you can’t keep something that pretty covered up.” The switch scowled playfully and yanked a pair of boxers on, flopping down between the two of you.

“Seriously though, what happened with Kevin?” Sam tipped his head back so you could play with his damp hair. You bit your lip, knowing that this was going to be a less than fun conversation.

“He kissed me.” The laughter in Dean’s eyes died immediately and Sam shot to his feet.

“He did what? When did this happen?”

“Remember when I said he farted? That was an embarrassingly bad lie and I’m kind of mad you bought it.”

“So not only did he kiss you, but you lied to cover him? (Y/N), what the hell?” 

“Guys, it’s not a big deal. He had just watched his girlfriend die. I think he was freaking out and looking for some kind of outlet.” You held your hand out to the pacing switch. “Sammy please? I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

“And why didn’t you say anything before?” Dean growled and you rolled your eyes.

“Because you would have gone all macho-man and made it a bigger deal than it really was.” You glared at Sam out of the corner of your eye. “Kind of like what’s happening now…” 

“Did you like it?” Your jaw dropped at Sam’s question.

“I cannot believe that you’re asking me that. No, I didn’t like it, In fact, I bit his fucking lip to get him to back off.” The switch calmed but you were just getting started. “What kind of person do you think I am, Sam? I love you and Dean. No one else. I want you and Dean. No one else. I’m not some cock-hungry maniac who is just going to go running after the first penis I see.” You stood, shoving clothes on angrily. “When are you going to trust me?”

“I do trust you.” Sam said earnestly. “It’s everyone else I don’t trust.” 

“Did you seriously just use that bullshit line?”

“Alright everyone  **_calm down!_ ** ” You and Sam instantly fell silent, both quick to listen to Dean’s voice when it held that much raw authority. Dean pointed at the bed. “ **_Sit. Both of you. Now._ ** ” You scrambled to obey, sitting on the edge of the bed with your hands in your lap. Dean stood staring at the two of you thoughtfully for a moment before coming closer and crouching down so he was relatively eye-level (though that was difficult to accomplish given the serious height difference between his subs). “Sam, (Y/N) has a point. We can’t ask her to trust us if we don’t show that we trust her. She’s a big girl, we don’t need to hover over her shoulder. Let her be her own person. I’m sure if something starts going south, she’ll call for us.” He turned a stern glance to you. “Because it would be very very  _ very _ naughty of her to stay in danger without us knowing.”

“But she’s ours Dean. She’s  _ mine _ !” Sam snarled and you flinched back at the aggression in his tone. Dean slapped the top of Sam’s thigh in reprimand.

“Manners! Yes, (Y/N) is our girl but she’s also a human being. She’s capable of thinking for herself Sam. As for you…” Green eyes met yours and you felt yourself shrinking under the disappointed gaze. “I’m not going to punish you for what happened because it wasn’t your fault. I’m not happy that you kept it a secret but I understand your point. You’re probably right anyway, Kevin was in a dark place, he likely just needed some comfort.” He pulled a face. “Though I’m not super happy about where he went looking.”

“If it helps, he was a shitty kisser.” You gave Dean a tiny smile. “He’s got nothing on you guys.”

Sam snorted. “Kiss-ass…”

“Flattery will get you nowhere babygirl.” Dean was grinning though and leaned forward to give you a quick peck. 

“Actually I’ve learned that with Winchesters, flattery can get me quite a bit.” You snarked, giggling when you found yourself on your back with Dean’s face glued to yours.Unfortunately, you weren’t able to stay in that position for long as the dom pulled back with an expression of painful conflict. “Dean? What’s wrong?”

“Do you…” Dean looked away, unable to make eye contact as he mumbled his question. “Would you rather be with someone Kevin’s age? I’m quite a bit older than you.”

As rude as it probably was, you couldn’t help laughing. “Absolutely not! First off, he’s 18 and I’m 27. That’s a nine-year age gap. You and I only have six years. Second, I don’t want to be with an 18 year old. That part of my life was fun but it’s over now. I’m not a kid anymore. And third” you shoved Dean onto his back, climbing on top of him and peering up through your lashes the way you knew drove him crazy. “I might have a thing for older men…”

“Is that so?” Dean’s eyes darkened with lust and you nodded.

“It sure is. Plus, I like being your babygirl.” Dean’s hands threaded through your hair as he pulled you up for a toe-curling kiss that only ended when Sam quite literally shoved his way into the mix.

“Check-out isn’t for another hour…” Sam rutted his body against Dean’s. “I have a couple ideas for how we could spend the time…”

“Do you now?” Dean’s voice was liquid sex. “Show us what you’ve got Sammy.”

  
  
  


It turned out Sam had a lot of ideas and you ended up missing check-out and having to pay for another night. By that point though, you were all too sated to care.

  
  
  


 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Many long months had passed and Gabriel wasn't sure he remembered what it felt like to be clean anymore. His hair and skin were so coated in dirt and grime that the archangel didn't think there was enough soap in the world to help. Worse than the physical filth was the level of immorality tainting his grace. Purgatory was filled with terrifyingly dangerous beings and he lost count of the lives he ended eons ago. Even in his days masquerading as a pagan god, Gabriel had never felt so unclean, so very divorced from divinity.

His only comfort in all of this was Castiel. The younger angel gave Gabriel purpose. As long as the seraph was there, Gabriel couldn't give up. He hated himself for dragging his little brother into this mess but couldn't deny how soothing it was to have another angel nearby. Gabriel's respect for his brother had only grown since they’d landed in Purgatory. Castiel never gave up hope that they would find a way out and back to their humans, his impossible enthusiasm giving Gabriel the strength to keep going. They would find a way out, they had to.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sam stood in the doorway smiling. You were sitting at the table lost in a book. Dean, on the other hand, was lost in you. A disassembled gun and cleaning materials were left abandoned in front of him while he gazed at you with a look of pure adoration. Sam loved catching moments like this one, seeing the way his soulmates looked at each other when they thought no one could see. He had memorized the affection and awe Dean’s eyes held for you as well as the utter trust and devotion you turned on Dean. Sometimes, Sam wondered what looks he gave his soulmates, how they looked at him, if anyone saw those glances.

Shock raced through your mind and Dean’s eyes narrowed only to relax again with fondness. It didn’t happen often but sometimes you would get so caught up in a story that you would unknowingly broadcast your emotional reactions to what you were reading. Not only was it adorable (at least to the brothers), it spoke to how comfortable you were around your soulmates and how strong the bond was.

As if he knew what Sam was thinking, Dean looked over and shared a grin with his brother. His gaze snapped back to your face though when you gasped and leaned forward, eyes racing over the page. 

“What’s got you so excited kitten?” He asked, laughing when you shushed him irritatedly. “Alright sorry, I won’t distract you anymore.” Dean finished cleaning and reassembling his weapon quickly before standing and approaching Sam, dropping a quick kiss to the top of your head. “Bedtime’s in an hour (Y/N). You and Sammy need to sleep.” 

 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  


> _ You’ve had your fair share of weird dreams by this point but this one was unlike anything else. You were on the porch swing again, bruised hip aching. A familiar tune, played by flute, was weaving through the air and you realized the swing was somehow on an ice floe in the middle of the ocean. The music grew louder as a large ship approached and there, at the bow, stood Gabriel with his arms outstretched. His hair was longer, fanning out behind him and the elegant gown he wore fluttered in the wind. _
> 
> _ “I’m the king of the world!!!” His voice echoed melodically and you were stunned by the beauty of the moment.  _
> 
> _ Something bumped into your ice floe and you looked over to see Castiel sitting on a floating wooden door. He smiled up at you goofily. _
> 
> _ “I’m flying, (Y/N)!” _

 

You shot straight up, Sam’s arm slipping off of you and flopping down to hit Dean in the face. The boys grunted and opened their eyes blearily.

“What’s going on kitten? You okay?”

You turned to your soulmates, a look of sick confusion on your face.

“Gabriel is alive...and fucking weird as ever.”

“How do you know?” Sam squinted, trying to wake himself up completely. You ignored him, reaching over to flip on the radio. Sure enough, Celine Dion’s voice came through, belting out the theme to Titanic.

“Because the heart does go on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I already think that the third prequel-y thing to this story is my favorite. It's almost done too! I just have to rework the last bit because it's clunky and I'm debating some stuff with Ruby...
> 
> You all are so wonderful and amazing and ahhhh you make me feel like that chick in Mean Girls who doesn't even go to the school but has a lot of feelings about making a cake out of rainbows.
> 
> It's still so weird to me that anyone reads this shit but there are new people reading it now and I've been thinking about going back and reworking the beginning because there's some stuff that's been abandoned that I want to remove. It would probably take a while to do though and would distract me from newer chapters. Thoughts?


	40. Unfinished Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has a night out with Garth that leads to a nasty fight between her and one of her boys. Later, the trio gets quite the surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your words of support. I know I've been doing a lot of other stuff on here lately and I appreciate that I've been able to expand my horizons a bit. As always, your comments are what keep this going.  
> I've put up a couple of other things if you're interested. One of them is hot garbage and the other is passable but they're still my trash babies and I love them. There's a Harry Potter fic in the works as well.  
> Can we talk about how this has over 10000 hits?! What the actual fuck???  
> Sorry that this chapter is short!

After much contorting, you managed to zip up the back of your dress. You took a deep breath before bouncing down the stairs, psyching yourself up for what should be a fun conversation. When you got to the living room, you snorted at the sight of your boys wrestling on the floor.

“Hey guys?” They looked up (Dean’s face barely visible under Sam’s arm) “I’m going out for a few hours.” Concern washed through the bond and the boys scrambled to their feet.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Dean crowded into your space. “Did we do something? Did Sam use up all of your good conditioner again because I can get you more-”

“Hey! You’re the one who used it up, don’t blame that on me!”

Before the boys could start wrestling again, you stretched onto your tiptoes and kissed each of them on the nose-having to hop a bit to reach Sam’s.

“Cool your jets, I’m not running away. I’m just going out for a little while so you guys can have time alone together.”

“(Y/N), we love you.” Sam clutched your hands and pouted. “You don’t have to go away.”

“I love you too.” You rolled your eyes. “I just think it’s important for each of us to spend time in groups of two. You have your boy time. Measure dicks and watch football or whatever it is guys do.”

“Is that what you think guys do?” Dean laughed and you shrugged. Sam still looked reluctant and you gave him another kiss.

“Seriously, it’s okay. I want you two to have your time with each other. Besides,” you winked. “If you guys go first, that means the next two date nights are mine. I have lots of plans for when I get each of you alone.” A car horn honked and you skipped to the door, leaving behind two stunned and aroused brothers. “Garth’s here, don’t wait up!”

  
  
  
  


It was so good to spend time with Garth. You loved your soulmates but there was nothing like hanging out with an old friend and fellow sub.

“So how’s your sex life?” you asked after a few too many tequila shots. Garth blushed and ducked his head.

“Currently it’s nonexistent but there was a lady for a while…” He took another sip of beer. “She was a piece of work… Was really into vampires and wanted to roleplay that I was biting her.”

“EW!” You screeched. “How did you end up with someone like that?”

“She wasn’t like that in the beginning.” Garth shrugged. “She was kinda cute. Short, blonde… you know my type.”

“What was her name?”

“Becky.” You groaned.

“Why do I get the feeling that she makes lots of casseroles and owns at least seven scrunchies?” Garth chuckled before probing you for details about your sex life. He wasn’t into guys but did enjoy a good smutty anecdote.

 

A few shots later and you had hit a bitchy point, loudly complaining about Sam’s caveman tendencies.

“Then he has the audacity to ask me if I _liked_ it! How fucking dare he?”

“I’ve gotta say, between the two of them I wouldn’t have pegged Sam as the overpossessive one.” Garth spoke slowly and thoughtfully. “It must be frustrating.”

“Unbelievably frustrating.” You leaned forward on the table. “I know it comes from a place of love but I wish that Sam would just trust that I’m not going to cheat. I’m starting to wonder if he really respects me…”

“(Y/N), of course he respects you. Your guys love you.” Garth put a hand on your arm but you shoved it off, scoffing.

“Sure doesn’t feel like love sometimes.” You sighed. “Sometimes it feels like the opposite of love.”

“You don’t mean that.” Garth was right but you were still annoyed, deciding you needed another drink because that was what responsible adults do when something’s bothering them.

“Alright tell me more about Becky. I bet she’s a freak in the sheets.” Garth’s ears turned red with embarrassment and you grinned.

  
  


* * *

 

  


“I’m not sure if you should hang out with Garth anymore.” Dean chuckled as he helped you untie your shoes. “You always come home drunk.” You giggled and crawled across the bed, pawing at Sam’s shoulder until he bent down and gave you access to his hair. Dean shook his head, watching you give Sam French-braided pigtails. “Looking good, Sammy.” He tweaked the end of a braid. “She gave you handles.”

“What are you gonna do with them?” Sam smirked, laughing when Dean pounced.

“Oh I think you know baby boy…”

  
  


Morning arrived with a nasty hangover and an intriguing text from Garth. Your friend had a lead on a case in Missouri and asked if you and your boys wanted to come with. Seeing as you had nothing better to do, you agreed. The boys were sweet enough to keep the radio off for the first couple of hours until your head stopped pounding. When you gave the go-ahead, Dean still kept it mellow, sticking to acoustic versions of his favorite songs. When Sam passed you some Pedialyte, you felt happy butterflies in your stomach. Your boys took such good care of you.

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  


“ **_Sammy!_ ** ” Dean growled. “ **_Put the gun down NOW!_ **” The switch made no move apart from a quick glare at his brother.

“Hey friend, let’s talk about this.” Garth looked remarkably cool for someone staring down the barrel of a gun. “You and I both know that that’s not a good idea.”

You, Garth, and the boys had been tracking a spectre, a spirit of revenge. It had attached itself to a penny and anyone who touched the object was overcome by rage, killing anyone they felt betrayed by. Sam had picked up the penny and apparently held a grudge for your old friend if his current behavior was anything to go by.

“What are you talking about?” Sam laughed. “This is a great idea. You put your hands all over my girl.” He smirked. “And now I’m going to take you out of the picture.”

“SAM NO!” You screamed, throwing yourself at your soulmate. He gasped, blinking a few times and shaking his head before dropping his gun, apparently free from the curse. Unfortunately, he was only free because when you tackled him, you also grabbed the penny. Suddenly, white hot anger was pulsing through you, warping past events and conversations, making everything murky and clouded by anger and you grabbed the revolver in your waistband, aiming it at the switch. His eyes widened and he backed up.

“(Y/N) what are you doing?”

You sneered. “Oh that’s right, I can’t do anything without your approval, can I? I’m so sick of your crap, Sam. I’m not a possession.” He was giving you the typical puppy-dog look but it wasn’t going to work this time. You weren’t going to let him manipulate or control you anymore.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you’re a possession.” Sam flinched when you growled.

“Sure you don’t. You just don’t trust me to make my own decisions or to talk to any man who isn’t you or Dean. I’m not just some little toy for you to fuck. I’m a human being and if you really loved me, you would know that I’m not going to cheat on you.”

“(Y/N) stop it.” Dean’s gaze was darting quickly between you and Sam, seeing the fury in your eyes and the anguish in Sam’s. The boys had never heard this much venom in your voice and even Dean was a little afraid. “Babygirl please snap out of it. We both know you don’t mean that. Sammy loves you.”

Of course Dean was taking Sam’s side, he always would.

“Quit covering for him.” You hissed. “I know what love is, Dean and this isn’t it. Love isn’t obsession and control. Love requires respect, something Sam doesn’t have for me.” You were so caught up in your tirade that you didn’t see Garth moving until it was too late. The sub was on you in less than a second, yanking the penny and the gun from your grasp.

Instantly, the anger was gone and you were left panting, eyes wide in horror as you realized what you had done. You and your boys looked to Garth in alarm but he just smiled.

“I’m cool guys. I’m cool.”

  


  
  


 

“Is she still upstairs?” Dean asked. Sam nodded and sat in the chair across from the sofa his brother was slumped in. You hadn’t spoken since your spectre-induced outburst, remaining silent for the whole drive home before locking yourself in your childhood bedroom, the look in your eyes more than enough warning not to pick the lock. The brothers had tried to coax you out, but to no avail. Any attempts to get you to respond to their words had been met with silence. After a few hours they decided to give you space. Unfortunately, your self-imposed exile had been dragging on all day and now, it was nearly midnight. Neither Winchester wanted to go to sleep without you but they weren’t sure how to bring you out when you so clearly wanted to be left alone.

“I keep telling her that I’m not mad about what she said…” Sam hung his head, hands raking through his hair in frustration. “If anything, I’m furious with myself.” He sighed sadly. “How am I supposed to fix this? She thinks I don’t love her.”

“Sammy, that wasn’t (Y/N) talking.” Dean crossed the room, perching on the armrest of Sam’s chair and tugging at his brother’s fingers until he was no longer pulling his hair. “She wasn’t driving the bus, it was the spectre.”

“She meant it though.” Sam looked back up. “Dean, I touched that penny too, I know what it’s like. Sure, my feelings were amplified and I don’t actually want to kill Garth but I do hate that he slept with (Y/N).” The switch curled in on himself. “The penny made everything exaggerated but it drew from a pellet of truth. Deep down, she really believes that I don’t love and respect her.”

“Sam?” The boys both looked up, surprised to see you standing in the doorway tentatively, dressed in nothing but lace panties and one of Dean’s flannels.

“Yes baby?” Sam’s voice was hushed, hope and anxiety written all over his face.

“I’m sorry.” You came closer, climbing into Sam’s lap. “I should have talked to you about this a long time ago instead of leaving it to fester.” You very slowly leaned your head into his neck, making sure he wouldn’t react negatively before nuzzling your face into his warm skin. “It’s not that I don’t believe that you love and respect me. I just get frustrated when you go all caveman. You hear a lot of cautionary tales growing up about over-possessive doms. It’s upsetting because I know you’re a good person and that I don’t have to worry about you being abusive or anything like that but you still do this shit sometimes that sets off alarm bells.” You pulled back to meet his gaze sternly. “And just because I know that you love and respect me doesn’t mean that I believe you trust me. If you trusted me, you wouldn’t have asked if I liked it when Kevin kissed me. I can deal with you being mad at the fact that he did that but don’t take your anger out on me because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Sweetheart…” Sam wrapped his arms around you and buried his nose in your hair. “I’m sorry too. You’re right, I need to respect that you are your own person and trust that you aren’t going to do anything. It’s not that I think you’re the type to be unfaithful. I’ve just been waiting for you for so long and I’m scared of losing this.” He squeezed you tight. “But if I’m not careful, I might be the one to drive us apart.”

You turned in his lap, leaning your forehead against his. “Sam I love you and I refuse to let anything or anyone come between us. You and Dean are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m not letting this go.”

  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  


“Guys?” The boys looked up from what they were doing to see you frowning at your computer screen. “Someone is looking for witches on Craigslist.”

“Excuse me?” Dean came over and squinted at the ad. “Well now I’ve seen everything.”

Sam came over to and frowned before fishing for his cell. “Does that contact number look familiar to you?” He punched a few buttons then groaned. “Well we’ve found Mrs. Tran. Now we’ve just got to figure out why she wants a witch.”

“Think you can do your little hacking trick and get us a location?” You asked Sam, handing over the computer when he nodded.

“I’ll try. It could take a little while though.”

Dean stood. “We’ll get out of your hair for a bit so you can concentrate. There’s something I’ve been wanting to show (Y/N) in the living room.”

  


Hours later, Sam laughed when he finally came to show you and Dean what he had found. He had expected that the two of you would be cuddling (maybe something a bit more intimate) on the couch. What he hadn’t been prepared for was the transformation of the living room into a giant pillow fort though in retrospect, it shouldn’t have been that surprising since you and Dean were like a couple of children when left alone together. Leaving the laptop on a side table, Sam dropped to his hands and knees and crawled towards an opening in the blanket walls.

“Can I come in?” He asked. Two sets of giggles rang out before Dean’s face popped up.

“What’s the password?” Dean’s voice seemed younger and Sam grinned.

“Is it...pie?” The switch heard a muffled debate from his soulmates before Dean pulled the blanket back.

“Close enough!” He grinned before scurrying back in.

Dean had always been amazing at pillow forts and this one was no different, putting even his most masterful prior creations to shame. Battery-powered twinkle lights were strung up, illuminating the fabric walls and the floor was lined with heated blankets. A couple of fans kept air moving so that it wasn’t too stuffy and a tiny radio in the corner played soft rock. Best of all though, at least in Sam’s eyes, was the huge nest of soft pillows and blankets that contained his two delightfully nude soulmates.

“Hi Sammy!” You chirped from your place in the fluffy pile, beaming at the new arrival.

“Hey sweetheart…” Sam made to join you in the blankets but you shook your head.

“There’s a strict no-clothes-dress-code in here. Lose the pants and then you can come snuggle.”

The switch chuckled before shucking his clothes dutifully and crawling into the pseudo-bed. Immediately, you glommed onto him, wriggling happily at the feeling of skin against skin.

“Is this where we’re sleeping tonight?” Sam asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You hummed happily, looking over at Dean for confirmation.

“I don’t see why not.” Dean tilted his head at Sam. “Did you find anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I know where they are.” Sam twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers. “If we leave early tomorrow morning we should make it there before noon.”

“Good boy” Dean praised, smiling at the blush those words brought to his brother’s face.

  
  
  
  
  
  


You were the first to emerge from the blanket cocoon the next morning. Waking up at 2AM for sweet sleepy sex with the boys had been nice but now your thighs and chest were covered in nasty dry cum and you needed a shower.

You had just finished rinsing your hair and were reaching for your razor when you saw a shape on the other side of the curtain. Dread filled you as you realized that figure didn’t match either of your soulmates. The stranger came closer, a hand reaching out to pull back the shower curtain and you screamed.

Dean and Sam instantly snapped awake when they felt the terror you were shooting through the bond. When you screamed, they bolted up the stairs, wrenching open the bathroom door to find you and…

“Cas?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be kinky as fuck if things follow my timeline.
> 
> And in a totally inappropriate way to follow that statement, I'm writing a children's book! This whole process has made me feel more confident in my writing and now I'm actually working on the two books that I started years ago. One is for grown ups but there's a lot less of that.


	41. Doctor Sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her shower is interrupted by a peeping angel, Reader and her boys take Castiel with them to rescue Kevin from Crowley. There's something different about the angel though and Reader isn't sure what to think.  
> Later, Reader and Sam have their date night before the trio have fun with a medical kink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory warning that things happen with Dean's ass since apparently that's a deal breaker for some. There's also some elements of role-reversal with Dean slipping into a more submissive space. 
> 
> Smoot! (two sex things in one chapter bc hell yeah)

_ When you screamed, they bolted up the stairs, wrenching open the bathroom door to find you and… _

_ “Cas?” _

  
  


 

 

 

He was coated in grime and looked like he had been beaten within an inch of his life, but there was no mistaking those eyes. It really was Castiel standing in front of you.

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was choked and he crossed the room quickly, pulling the dirty angel into a tight hug.

“Dean” The seraph stood stiffly, patting Dean’s back awkwardly a couple of times before pulling out of the hold. “I would like to bathe now if (Y/N) is done with the shower.” Dean frowned but stepped back, glancing at you to see if you were finished.

“Yeah, it’s all yours.” You stepped over the lip of the tub, letting Sam wrap you in a plush towel as he glared at the angel for seeing you naked. “We’ll get some clothes for you to change into.”

  
  


Something was off about the angel. While he had never behaved in a way that wasn’t cripplingly awkward, he had possessed some semblance of social skills before. Now, he seemed better at casual human interaction but had lost the warmth he used to carry for Dean and Sam. He was treating the Winchesters coldly, not overly rude but nothing like the affection he’d shown before.

Bizzairly, he was treating you the same as the boys, a step up from how things had been before. You knew that Castiel didn’t exactly like you so it was kind of nice to feel cool indifference in your interactions. The aloof attitude was hurting Dean and Sam though, and you wanted to get to the bottom of it. Even more concerning was the vibe you were getting from him. You couldn’t put your finger on it but there was something different about Castiel, something that made you incredibly uneasy. Just his presence was enough to give you a headache.

Most frustrating to you was Gabriel’s absence. Castiel claimed his brother had died in Purgatory, showing very little grief. You had broken down into sobs at the news, heartbroken to hear that the archangel was gone. The boys didn’t cry, though Sam seemed a bit somber. Dean pulled you into a hug, pushing love and reassurance through the bond. Castiel seemed confused by your reaction, which upset you even more.

The tension in the room was broken when Sam’s phone rang, Mrs. Tran calling to let you and the boys know that Kevin had been taken by Crowley.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next day, the four of you set off to meet Mrs. Tran. Castiel already wasn’t your favorite backseat companion and with the weird energy he was giving off, you really didn’t want to sit next to him.The boys raised their eyebrows when you slid into the middle of the front bench seat with them but didn’t complain. Dean wrapped one arm around your shoulders as he drove to the meeting place you had set up with Mrs. Tran. The weight of his arm and the warmth of Sam’s thigh against yours was almost comforting enough to fight off the nausea brought on by Castiel’s presence.

The three of you arrived at the meeting place first, left to sit awkwardly in the parked car. With nothing better to do, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through the chat Garth had set up for the hunter community. He had unofficially become the new Bobby, living in your uncle’s house and serving as the go-to resource. One of his newer ideas had been an online forum where you could all compare notes and post leads, letting jobs be taken by those closest to the issue. Of course, not everyone was a fan but there were a few in the community that were on board. You frowned as you scrolled through news stories, noticing a pattern.

“Hey guys, listen to this.” Sam looked over your shoulder at the screen. “There have been seven disappearances in the last week, each of them occurring at the same time as some kind of wacko phenomena. A little boy goes missing from preschool and there’s a two-minute long tornado before normal weather resumes, a woman turns down the cereal aisle of the grocery store and suddenly she’s gone but the parking lot is full of frogs…And it’s happening all over the world.”

“Anything linking them?” Dean asked and you shook your head.

“Nope. They’re all ages, genders, religions…. They don’t even have similar names. We’ve got a Luigi, Justin, Aaron, Maria…” You stopped talking as Castiel’s gravely voice joined yours, finishing the list.

“Dennis, Krista, Sven.” The boys glanced at you before turning to the backseat.

“How do you know those names Cas?” Dean’s tone was almost accusatory.

“They’re prophets of course. Angels instinctively know the names of every prophet, past, present, and future. These are the living prophets, plus Kevin. They are really only potential prophets though as only one can exist at a time.”

“So if Kevin dies, one of them steps up to the plate?” Sam asked. Castiel nodded and the younger Winchester groaned. “It must be Crowley. He’s stocking up on prophets so he can get someone to read the tablet.”

“Well isn’t that great…” Dean growled, glaring out the window as the four of you fell into a tense silence. 

Your lips twitched into a small sad smile when you realized that if the backseat was empty, this would be a perfect time to fool around. Sam caught your train of thought and snorted before bringing a hand to your cheek and turning you to face him. The kiss wasn’t chaste by any means but it also wasn’t as fun as it could be. You were about to try and up the ante when a car pulled up behind the impala. Mrs. Tran had arrived.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Never let it be said that Linda Tran isn’t a badass. She had successfully tied up a demon and thrown him in her trunk. Dean was able to get the prisoner to reveal Crowley’s location, and soon the five of you were off to save Kevin and the other prophets.

 

When you arrived at Crowley’s lair, there was a fairly decent-sized army of demons to get past. Castiel smote them quickly though it seemed to take a lot out of him. He was stumbling and bleary eyed when you finally burst into the room that held Crowley and Kevin.

“Well well well if it isn’t Castiel back from Purgatory.” Crowley clapped his hands in mock delight. “And you’ve brought Cupcake as well… How delightful.” He sneered at your soulmates. “Though the twinkies have tagged along.”

“Kevin is coming with me.” Castiel growled, jerkily making his way to the restrained prophet.

“Not so fast.” Crowley tutted. “The boy is mine.” Castiel summoned his angel blade and the demon king quickly snapped up one of his own. The seraph wobbled a bit on his feet and Crowley scoffed. “You’re not up for this Castiel. Surrender before you embarrass yourself.”

The seraph’s eyes began to glow and the shadow of his wings became visible on the wall behind him. At the same time, you felt a comforting presence fill the room.

“You’re bluffing!” Crowley shouted, though he looked unsure.

“Are you willing to risk that?” Castiel’s voice sounded warped as he raised his hand. A high-pitched ringing began to echo through the room and your soulmates winced, covering their ears. You listened in horror, realizing that underneath the ringing of angelic magic were eerily familiar screams… Gabriel’s screams.

 

Crowley managed to grab the demon tablet as it was split in two by Castiel’s blade before vanishing. Kevin cradled the other piece protectively as Sam talked the Trans through their new living arrangement with Garth. Dean directed police through the building to where all of the missing people were being kept.

You sat on the hood of the impala, not hearing the sirens or shouting voices, Gabriel’s screams echoing in your mind. When Castiel told you and the boys that he was off to see how Crowley had received the names of the other prophets, you said nothing, eyeing the seraph with suspicion and fear.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

 

Two weeks had passed since you saved Kevin and the other prophets. You hadn’t told the boys about what you heard in Crowley’s lair, mostly because you were afraid of what it could mean. You weren’t sure if they would believe you as you barely believed yourself and you weren’t ready to think about the implications. For now, you had decided to keep quiet and watch Castiel carefully. Besides, there were much more exciting things to focus on.

It was finally your much-awaited date night with Sam and you had been on edge all day, wondering what the switch had in store for you. The two of you had played and slept together sans Dean a few times before but it had always felt strange, like Sam was holding something back. You knew that he differed slightly from his brother in what he wanted out of you but was afraid to take it. Tonight, you wanted him to let go. After all, as much as you loved how sweet and gentle Dean was with you, part of you ached for a rougher hand.

“You ready Sammy?” Dean leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom, watching the switch nervously fiddle with something in the closet.

“What do you mean Dean? Of course I’m ready.” Sam glared at his brother. “You’re acting like I’m some kind of virgin on prom night.”

“If the blush fits…” Dean grinned and dodged the irritated slap Sam sent his way. “You just seem nervous.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Sam began pacing, his voice going a bit higher. “Why would I be nervous? (Y/N)’s my soulmate. We’ve been together for years now...had plenty of sex… There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“And yet here we are.” Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder. “It’s okay to be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“Okay…” Dean held his hands up in surrender. “You’re not nervous.” He made his way down the stairs. “I’ll be back in a few hours. You crazy kids have fun.” Sam rolled his eyes and watched the dom stop to kiss you on the cheek before heading out the door.

As the impala’s engine roared to life, you looked up the stairs to see Sam hovering in the bedroom doorway. He gave you a small smile which you eagerly returned. Your soulmate made his way down the stairs and bent down to give you a kiss that made butterflies swirl in your stomach.

“You ready to have fun?” He asked lowly. You nodded.

“Yeah…”

  
  


Sam was sweet, taking you into the living room and hand-feeding you the way Dean had done so many times. You could tell that it was weird for him to be on the other side of the act from the way his hands shook and his uncertainty was keeping you from falling into your headspace. You couldn’t relax and surrender unless you knew someone had your back. Sam seemed to pick up on this, growing more flustered and frustrated as time went by before he eventually shoved the now empty plate to the floor and dropped his head to his hands.

“Sam…” You began but he held a hand up to silence you. A few moments of tense silence passed before Sam stood and left the room, leaving you staring at the upside-down plate on the rug.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“I do not understand what we are doing, Dean.” Castiel’s voice was uncomfortably loud in the quiet night air. Dean sighed and leaned back against Baby’s hood.

“We’re doing nothing, Cas. That’s the point.” He took a sip of beer, gazing at the stars. “Sammy and I used to do this all the time, y’know? Drive out to the middle of nowhere and just watch the night sky.”

“What were you watching for?”

“We weren’t watching for anything. We were just… watching to watch.” Dean gestured vaguely at the sky. “It’s beautiful Cas, shut up and appreciate it.” The angel nodded, turning his eyes upwards to see whatever it was Dean found interesting.

“Perhaps I should fetch Sam. This seems like an activity better shared with him.”

“Don’t you zap Sam anywhere. He and (Y/N) are having some private time.” Dean gave up on stargazing, turning to face his increasingly confused friend. 

“I do not understand.”

“The three of us are spending time together as couples to make sure everyone’s needs are being met.”

“So because of her…  _ needs…  _ (Y/N) has stolen your soulmates attentions for the evening and forced you out of your home?” The disdain in Castiel’s voice made Dean snarl.

“First of all, (Y/N) is just as much my soulmate as Sam is. All three of us are mated to each other, Cas.” Green eyes narrowed and fixed themselves on cerulean. “And really it’s Sammy that needs this. He and I have different approaches to domination but he’s not been acting on his desires. I think because I’m his dom, he’ll still differ to my preferences if I’m in the room.”

“I see… This is so that Sam can satisfy his biology?”

“Well both of them, really. (Y/N) needs things from Sam that I can’t give her. And it’s good that they get some time with just each other.” Dean returned his gaze to the sky. “I had a great time when it was just me and Sammy for the night and I’m sure it’ll be just as awesome when I get my girl alone.”

“Human relationships seem complicated.” Castiel frowned. “I am glad that angels do not have soulmates.” Dean snorted.

“They’re complicated but they’re worth it.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

After washing the plate and putting it away, you crept upstairs, deciding to see if you could find your soulmate. The bedroom was empty, as was the guestroom and second bathroom. With nowhere left to look, you knocked on the door of the playroom.

“Come in.”

  
  
  


You opened the door to see your shirtless soulmate standing in the middle of the playroom. Sam’s smile held a hint of danger as he placed a hand on your lower back and guided you further into the room. Despite it being finished several months ago, it hadn’t really been used yet. Dean had been the one to build and stock it, but all three of you knew that the playroom was made for Sam. That said, you knew what was in there. Every item had been thoroughly discussed between the three of you and Sam knew what you were and weren’t comfortable with. Hopefully being in this space would help Sam find his confidence and stride.

“Hey baby…” Sam twirled a lock of your hair between his fingers. “How do you feel about playing in here?” You bit your lip nervously but nodded. “Alright, take those clothes off and let me see that pretty body.” You quickly shimmied out of your clothing, tossing everything into the hamper in the corner.

“We’re going with traffic lights for this, okay?” Sam asked, waiting for your nod before holding up a blindfold. You sucked in an eager gasp of air, feeling yourself begin to grow wet at the sight.

 

A few months ago, the boys had discovered that you  _ really  _ had a thing for blindfolds. It had been during a dirty quickie in the car, which was completely Sam's fault. He had grabbed the wrong pair of slacks for his FBI suit and they left nothing to the imagination. This had led to a misuse of neckties, through which the boys learned that being blindfolded was a surefire way to send you crashing halfway into subspace. Further experimentation revealed that combining blindfolds and restraints took you the rest of the way and made for a very floaty and eager to please (Y/N).

Apparently wanting to capitalize on that weakness, Sam slipped the blindfold over your eyes, securing it snugly behind your head. Immediately, it was like a switch had been flipped in your mind and you hummed happily as your insides turned to goo. The outside world faded away until everything was soft and warm and  _ Sam.  _ You wobbled a little bit on your feet until he guided you to lean on him, his chest on your back. The skin contact was intoxicating and you shivered in delight.

“Good girl…” Sam ran large hands down your arms and chuckled. “Look at you… I’ve barely touched you and you’ve already got goosebumps.” You whimpered and tilted your head, exposing your neck for him to lick and suck. Sam’s body felt like heaven and you smiled happily. He was speaking but you couldn’t understand the words, your senses already overloaded by the timbre of Sam's voice, the roughness of his hands contrasted with the gentleness of his touch, the tickle of his hair on your neck…

 

Suddenly, he was gone. The air felt colder without the comforting heat of his body on yours. Your mind reeled as the floaty fog of your headspace went from soothing to debilitating, keeping you from being able to focus. Wobbly again, you reached your hands out in search of your dom. You couldn't tell why he had left but whatever you had done, you were sorry. If you could just find him…

  
  
  


_ “Look at you… I’ve barely touched you and you’ve already got goosebumps.” Sam kissed your neck when you tilted your head, loving the little sounds you were making and the way you had melted into his touch. “So good for me sweetheart.” Once he felt that you were suitably relaxed, he spoke again. “I’ll be right back honey, I’m just going to grab some supplies.” _

_ He stepped away and went towards the cabinets Dean had set up to store tools and toys. His fingers had barely touched the cabinet door when he felt confusion and desperate terror rocket through your mind. Whirling around, he saw you blindly reaching out, whimpering brokenly as you frantically searched for him. _

_ “(Y/N)!” He strode quickly back to where you were, placing a gentle hand on your back. You jumped at the contact and he cooed soothingly, catching you when you threw yourself at him. He was glad that your cries had stopped, but now you were clinging desperately and apologizing for making him angry, begging him not to leave. Deciding that removing the blindfold and adding the stimulation of sight would probably be too overwhelming at this point, Sam set to calm you down. _

  
  
  


“(Y/N)!” Sam's hand on the small of your back made you jump before you turned, throwing your arms around his neck so he couldn't get away. You were gulping in air, clinging tightly to your dom in hopes that you could make him stay, warm and strong and safe against you.

“Shhhh baby I'm not going anywhere, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong sweetheart. Can you breathe for me? No, not so quickly, like this. Breathe with me. There you go baby, just like that. So good…”

  
  


When your whines had finally ceased and your breathing had returned to normal, Sam spoke again, keeping his hold on you tight.

“What happened baby? I told you that I was just grabbing something.”

“Didn’t hear it…” You mumbled, angry with yourself for losing focus so easily and ruining the fun. “M’sorry…”

“Hey, none of that.” Sam kissed your temple. “You did nothing wrong (Y/N). Do you want to take the blindfold off?”

“No!” Your answer was immediate and certain, making Sam chuckle.

“Okay… You wait here and I’m going to go grab a few things.” He tried to disentangle himself but you held tight, unable to bear the thought of losing contact again. “(Y/N)?”

“Sorry…” You whispered, not loosening your hold at all. “I can’t… If I can’t see you, I need to feel you. I guess we have to take it off.” You hated the idea of losing the floatiness still teasing at the edges of your mind, but it was definitely better than that all-consuming fear of losing contact with him again.

Somehow Sam-sweet, smart, perfect Sam-seemed to know what you were needing.

“I have an idea sweetheart. Do you trust me?” You nodded and he pulled back slightly, keeping hold of your hands. Your breath picked up in panic again and he froze, waiting for you to calm back down before continuing to move. Very very slowly he shifted until his back was to you. He guided your hands to hook through the waistband of the jeans slung low on his hips. “How’s that baby? Think you can walk with me like this?” You flexed your fingers, feeling his skin on the backs of your knuckles and sighed happily.

“Yeah, this works. Thank you.” Shame pooled in your belly. “Sorry for being difficult.”

“Baby, no.” Sam grabbed your hands, guiding them around his middle so you could rest your face between his shoulder blades. “You’re not being difficult at all. This is supposed to be good for both of us. I want to know these things, I  _ need  _ to know these things.” He brought one hand up to his mouth and kissed your palm. “Thank you for being honest and letting me know.”

  
  


After a very slow (and honestly awkwardly uncoordinated) walk to the cabinets and back, Sam brought his arms back around you. In the back of your mind, you thought through the sounds you had heard, wondering what he had taken from the cabinets. There was definitely something heavy and maybe some kind of chains? Unbeknownst to you, Sam had changed his plans slightly, deciding to save the paddle and nipple clamps for another time when you weren’t recovering from panic. A light tap on your rear brought you back to the moment.

“Hands up and together baby.” You followed the directions, feeling something wrap snugly but not uncomfortably tight around your wrists and heard a rattling sound above you. Sam must have hooked your restraints to the ceiling because your arms were now trapped above you. Sam used his foot to nudge yours far apart before fastening something around your ankles. You shifted experimentally and found that you couldn’t close your legs. ( _spreader bar_ \- your mind supplied) Once your feet were secured, Sam went back to your arms, pulling whatever was holding them in place higher until you had to balance on the balls of your feet. 

“So pretty baby…” Sam stepped back a bit, staying close enough that you could still feel the heat of his body. “Is anything uncomfortable?” You flexed different muscles, testing the give on your wrists and ankles before shaking your head. “Good. I expect you to let me know if that changes at any point. Tell me your safewords.” It took you a second to find your voice.

“Green means I’m great and want to continue, yellow means something isn’t right and we need to slow down and talk, and red means I need everything to stop.” Sam stroked a hand down your side and you squeaked in surprise.

“Good girl. I’m going to add one more okay? If you say red I’ll stop what I’m doing but you stay tied up. If you need me to take off the restraints and the blindfold, say Poughkeepsie. Does that make sense?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” 

A full body shudder ran through you at Sam’s tone. “Yes  _ Sir _ .”

“ **_Good girl…_ ** ” He placed a hand on your face, thumb dragging over your cheekbone. “I'm sorry for what happened downstairs. That was me trying to be something I’m not. Dean is the soft one and he’s good at what he does, but that’s not what I am. I’m not like Dean...” A thrill raced up your spine at the promise in his words and the arousal you could feel from his mind. Sam grasped your chin and pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that was harder than what you were used to. His lips were rough, forcing yours open as his tongue took what it wanted, mapping out your mouth aggressively and swallowing your mewls. By the time he pulled back, you were out of breath. You left your mouth open and Sam purred happily, running his fingers over your lips teeth and tongue.

“Such a good girl for me… What should I do with you?” He teased. You wriggled as much as you could in the binds, a whine high in your throat. “Sorry baby, I didn’t quite get that.”

“Please, Sir!” You whined, hearing him chuckle.

“Please what sweetie?” Sam’s voice was teasing as he trailed his fingers over your torso and arms.

“I don’t know Sir….just please!” He chuckled again before giving you another kiss, one hand running down over your back to cup your ass. You squeaked and he gave you a playful spank before moving to kiss his way down your jawline and neck, nipping at your collarbone before eventually settling on your chest. 

He started slow, licking and sucking gently over your breast as a whole before dropping tiny kitten licks around the stiffening peak of a nipple. When he introduced teeth, you hissed and twisted in the binds. You felt him smile against your skin before he bit harshly, making you cry out.

“There we go. That’s what I like to hear…” Sam switched to the other side, letting one hand drag slowly down your stomach and through the small patch of hair between your thighs. His fingers slipped between your legs, resting on the mound of your sex. The next time he bit your nipple, you squirmed, letting his fingers sink into your folds. Suddenly, you were aware of how aroused you had become. It seemed like Sam noticed it too, swirling his fingers around.

“So wet for me baby… What a good girl.” He punctuated the praise with a swipe over your clit, making you gasp and buck, nearly losing your balance. “Whoa, easy sweetheart!” He shifted to his knees, your hips resting against his shoulders. “Lean on me if you need to, okay?”

“Yes Sir.” You breathed, pressing a bit more of your weight against him.

“What’s your color? I could loosen your arms if you want.”

You were shaking your head before he even finished the offer. “Green green green green! I’m sorry, I’m good to stay like this, Sir. You just caught me off guard.” Sam laughed.

“That’s the point baby. I want to keep you on your toes.” He tickled the bottom of one of your feet lightly, making you giggle. “Now where were we?” Fingers returned to your now very much awake core. “Oh that’s right! We were right here, weren’t we?” Sam pulled back the hood, exposing your clit before brushing a finger directly over the pink bud. You cried out, trying to wiggle away. “Ah ah ah… I’m nowhere near done playing with you yet.”

Sam shifted, his shoulders between your legs and one hand on a hip to keep you in place and at his mercy. He returned to his task, keeping your clit exposed and torturing the bud with gentle but still very direct contact. The touch was electric, your body not warmed up enough for that kind of play. Every swipe of his finger was a toe curling mix of white-hot pleasure pain and you moaned brokenly.

“Sir! Sam! It’s-nnngg-it’s too much!” You whimpered. Sam pressed a kiss to your inner thigh.

“Shhh you’re okay sweetie. I know you think it’s too much but you can take it for me.” He kept up the excruciating stimulation. “You’re such a good girl, you can do it… And if it really is beyond what you can take, you know your words, right?” You squeezed your eyes shut, focusing on the sensation. As you breathed in time with the movement of Sam’s fingers, your perspective shifted. The contact was intense, but not truly painful. Surrendering to the feelings, you sighed and leaned that much more against Sam.

“Oh good girl” Sam breathed. “That’s right sweetheart, just let go. You’re so beautiful like this, so sweet and perfect and trusting…” You could feel your body beginning to tense as pleasure coiled deep in your belly. 

“S-s-sir” you gasped out, hips rocking  in Sam’s hold.

“Go ahead baby. Cum for me.” Sam purred out.

And you did.

  
  


The orgasm was short but intense, like a punch to the gut, and it left you aching for more. You didn’t realize that you had vocalized that desire until Sam replied.

“You want more?” He cooed. “And here I thought it was too much.” He came in closer and shoved his face between your thighs, licking his way into you. A low moan spilled out from your chest as you squirmed, trying to press yourself closer to his face. Sam slid two fingers into your dripping cunt, crooking them just right as he continued to lap at your sensitive skin. Another orgasm tore through you, this one longer and leaving you breathless.

“Good girl” Sam purred, smirking when he felt you clench involuntarily at the praise. He stood back up fluidly, bringing his fingers to your mouth for you to clean off. “I love how tight you squeeze my fingers and tongue and cock when you’re cumming. It’s so sweet of you.”

You were past the point of being able to reply, not even understanding all of what Sam said. He sounded happy though which made you preen in delight. As you sank further down into that safe floaty place, you became vaguely aware of pain in your arms.

“Sir?” You pushed the feeling of muscle strain and soreness through the bond, not sure if you could form the sentence necessary to convey what was happening. “Arms.”

Faster than you could blink, Sam undid the clip holding your wrists above your head and looped your still joined arms around his neck. One breath later, he had your feet free. You hooked your legs around his waist, loving the feeling of being held up by your soulmate. Dean could lift you and throw you around but Sam could hold you for long periods of time, his muscles flexing deliciously under his skin. Long legs carried him swiftly and the switch soon had your back against a wall as he shifted his hips. A soft curse left his lips as he slid his cock into you, not waiting before setting a punishing pace. You moaned loudly, hands fisting in his hair as he drove into you and stretched you almost painfully. Sam’s nails raked down your back, likely leaving scratches and you threw your head back. It didn’t take long for his thrusts to falter and soon he was spilling inside you, teeth in your neck. You cried out as he continued to thrust through his orgasm, the force of his movements causing your head to thunk against the wall. Sam kept going until you came a third time before finally stumbling across the room to the jumbo bean bag chair in the corner. None of you had wanted an actual bed for the playroom and when you found the eight-foot bean bag, it was perfect.

Sam flopped down onto the ridiculously comfy piece of furniture, cuddling you close and stroking gentle fingers over your buzzing skin. He freed your wrists and began rubbing and stretching your arms, making sure any residual tension was gone.

“Thank you baby, that was so beautiful. You did so well. Such a good good  **_good_ ** girl for me. I love you so much (Y/N)” You mumbled nonsense, nuzzling your face into his neck. Sam continued the steady stream of praise as he traced shapes over your back with his fingertips. Slowly, your brain came back online, following the feelings of his fingers and trying to figure out what he was drawing.

“Tri’ngul” you slurred and Sam grinned before removing your blindfold.

“That’s right baby, that was a triangle. Are you here with me now?” You blinked up at him, not fully lucid but much more aware than you were before. “Ah, I see. You’re in that nice halfway space huh?” Sam stroked your cheek and smiled softly. “Take as long as you need sweetheart.”

Your body was sticky with sweat and your thighs were messy with cum but Sam didn’t want to get up to grab anything to clean off with. Even though the blindfold was removed, he had a feeling that you needed him to stay close for a bit longer, remembering how tight you would cling to him when Dean got up to grab things after sex. Absently, he made a note to have a stash of baby wipes near the bean bag for future sessions.

Eventually, you shifted, wrinkling your nose at how sweaty your body was.

“Sam? Can we clean up?” 

Your soulmate kissed your nose before standing and sweeping you up bridal-style. “Of course. Do you want a bath or a shower?”

“Bath please.”

  
  


Dean came home to find the two of you dozing in lukewarm bath water, bubbles scattered sparsely over the surface. He smiled and kneeled down by the tub, brushing Sam’s hair away from his face. The younger brother opened his eyes slowly, meeting Dean’s gaze with a blissed out grin.

“Hey Dean”

“Hey…” Dean leaned in to steal a quick kiss. “You two have fun?”

“So much fun” you mumbled, face hidden in Sam’s neck.

“I’m glad.” Dean stood and went to the cabinet. “Let’s get you out of that cold water and into bed. You can tell me all the juicy details tomorrow.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Sam frowned when he heard you cough again. The switch had noticed you sniffling the night before and now your shoulders were shaking with the force of your coughs. Handing you a glass of water, Sam placed a hand to your forehead.

“Are you okay sweetheart? You seem a little warm.” You leaned into his hand and whined.

“I feel icky…” You turned your face away when another cough crept up your throat and Sam rubbed your back soothingly.

“Let’s get you some tea or something.” You let your soulmate lead you to the couch, bundling you in blankets before heading to the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Dean set his beer down.

“(Y/N)’s sick.” Sam filled the kettle and set it on the stove.

“Poor baby.” Dean grabbed your favorite mug out of the cabinet and set it on the counter. Noticing Sam’s suspicious stare, he raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I thought the two of you went to get your flu shots last weekend. What happened?” Not wanting to answer Sam’s question, Dean scurried out of the room, mumbling something about needing the toilet. Another series of coughs drew Sam’s attention back to the living room and he sighed. Hopefully this was just a bug and you’d be better tomorrow.

 

You were not better tomorrow. If anything you were worse, your cough was stronger and had kept you (and the boys) up all night. Sam had made an early morning trip to the drugstore and you were now dozing, slightly drunk on cold medicine. With you out for the count, Sam turned his attention to his other soulmate. Dean had been trying and failing to hide his own sickness and Sam was getting tired of it. While you were resting and working on getting better, Dean was fighting his illness as if it wouldn’t exist if he just ignored it. Sam groaned when he opened the door to see Dean working on the car in jeans and a thin t-shirt.

“Dean, come inside. It’s way too cold out here, you’re just going to make yourself worse.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Sammy, I feel fine.” Dean's rebuttal was trumped though by a series of coughs that shook his whole frame.

“Uh-huh, inside. Now.” Looking like a dog with its tail between its legs, Dean followed his brother and allowed himself to be dressed in sweats and bundled up next to you. He still found a sticking point though.

“No medicine. Not doing it.” Sam rolled his eyes but put the bottle of cough syrup away,  deciding to choose his battles for now. He flipped on an old Western that Dean had seen a million times before going to take a shower, shouting a warning to stay put over his shoulder.

When Sam came back downstairs, he was greeted by the sight of both his soulmates snoring, Dean's head in your lap. Smiling, he took a seat as well, changing the channel to some kind of nature program about dung beetles. Dean woke up just enough to issue a barely coherent protest before dropping back onto your thighs.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“He's gonna hate this.” You bit your lip nervously.

“Well he left us no other choice.” Sam shrugged and measured out a dose of medicine. “This is what he gets for being a brat.” Footsteps echoed down the stairs and Sam handed you the dose cup, hiding the bottle quickly.

“What were you two talking about?” Dean looked slightly suspicious of the overly innocent faces you and Sam were making 

“(Y/N) was just telling me about how I'm the better kisser.” Offense flared from Dean's end of the bond and the dom approached you.

“Is that so?” 

You shrugged and he growled, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you in for a kiss. He moaned when you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer. That moan quickly turned to one of disgust when you opened your lips, forcing medicine into his mouth. He let out a muffled shout and tried to pull away but you held firm and eventually, he relented and swallowed. When you finally did part, you were greeted by an angry pout.

“That was the nastiest thing that's ever happened to me.” He gagged and wiped his mouth. “Not cool, babydoll.” You returned his pout with one of your own, quivering lip and everything.

“It was Sam's idea!” You wailed, pointing at the stunned switch.

“Don't play that game, you agreed to do it!”

“I’m ill, I can’t think clearly. Dean, he took advantage of my fog-brain!”

Sam rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering about being mated to children.

  
  


A few hours later, Sam beckoned both of you into the bedroom through the bond. You had been taking a shower, letting the steamy air clear your head out a bit (though you were honestly feeling much better) and Dean had been on the couch watching the Lifetime movies he would never admit to loving.

When you got to the bedroom, you saw that the bed had been stripped to a single sheet, the bottom half covered with towels. Sam was waiting with a raised brow.   
“Both of you, strip and get on the bed.” You scrambled to obey while Dean huffed and stood his ground. “That wasn’t a question Dean. Now.” The boys had a silent argument before Dean fell into a coughing fit and followed the order, looking every bit the petulant five year old. Sam eyed the two of you for a moment before turning and grabbing something. You heard the snap of latex gloves and shared a startled glance with Dean.

“Sammy? What are you doing over there?” Dean’s voice was a little nervous and you shifted a bit closer to him

“I’m getting ready to take care of you.” He turned around, holding a plastic bin. “Faces down, asses up. You can safeword out at any time.”

You heard Dean’s sharp intake of breath and chuckled as you assumed the position. Dean joined you, leaning his forehead against yours. There were a couple of clicking sounds and something rattled in the plastic bin before you felt a very cold, very thin something against your asshole. Before you could react, the cold thin something slid in. Dean let out an offended squeak that let you know he was having a similar treatment.

“S-S-Sammy…” Dean whined. Sam hushed him.

“I’m just taking your temperature, babe. Stay still.” His tone was sweet, almost indulgent, and you could feel the heat of Dean’s blush coming off his face. “Just a couple more minutes, Dean…” Dean continued to make small distressed sounds and Sam kept shushing him soothingly. The dom never safeworded though and after three minutes had passed, Sam removed the thermometers. “(Y/N) you’re golden but it looks like Dean’s got a bit of a fever.” Sam pet his brother’s flank gently. “Poor thing…” You lifted your head and kissed Dean’s warm cheek.

Sam went back to the plastic bin. “Alright Dean, I’ve got some special medicine for you. Since you don’t want to take liquid or pills like a good boy, it’s gonna have to go up your ass.” Dean’s breath hitched in what you could tell was arousal as twisted shame and desire curled through his mind and he tilted his hips that much higher. “It’ll have to be a few of them because I couldn’t find any dosed for adults, but you can do it.” Sam nudged you. “(Y/N), could you help me please?” You scooted over and followed Sam’s directions, holding Dean’s cheeks apart to display his hole. After using his fingers to loosen his brother Sam opened the container of suppositories and lined one up at Dean’s entrance, letting his body heat soften the glycerine. “Can you give me a color?”

“Green.” Dean’s voice was unusually high and meek but the want was definitely there. Trusting his brother’s word, Sam began feeding the slippery bullets into Dean’s body, waiting a minute or so between each one and keeping a steady stream of praise. When the last suppository had disappeared inside Dean, Sam re-lubed his fingers and went back to stretching his brother’s hole.

“Just one more thing, you’re doing so well.” He reached into the little bin for the final time, pulling out a medium-sized plug. “We need to make sure that medicine stays inside, so I’ve got a nice toy for you.”

The entire time Sam had been dispensing medicine, Dean had been fairly quiet, letting a few gasps out and rocking his hips occasionally but nothing more. As the plug came to rest inside him though, Dean let out a long low moan. You whipped around to face Sam.

“Sam can I please suck Dean? Please Sir?” The younger brother made a long show of considering while both you and Dean waited with baited breath.

“Tell you what Dean, I’ll let (Y/N) suck your cock if you tell me why you didn’t get your flu shots.”  Dean mumbled something into the mattress and Sam cleared his throat pointedly. Finally, the older Winchester raised his head just enough to answer.

“We went to Biggerson’s pie bar.”

Sam sighed in exasperation. “Children… I’m mated to children…” He smiled fondly before he gave you permission. Immediately, you were swallowing Dean’s straining cock, eager to satisfy the frustration that had been building. He came quickly, the novelty of submitting combined with the humiliation he still felt from any kind of anal stimulation winding him up to the edge. As Sam grabbed your ankles and dragged you down the bed so he could bury his face between your thighs, you grinned, knowing you were in for a fun day. After all, Dean would probably need another dose in a few hours… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on here... I dunno
> 
> I've been freaking out about updating this fic because I kind of ran out of ideas but inspiration has struck again! There's going to be a fuckton of angst coming up because of course there is so buckle up
> 
>  
> 
> I miss Gabriel.


	42. Trust Your Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader hasn't been sleeping well and all signs point to a blue-eyed seraph being the cause. Unfortunately, questioning Castiel means testing loyalties once again.  
> Warning for super minor gore? Not even gore really...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with some mediocre garbage!  
> I'm so sorry this chapter has taken so long. There's a lot that I have planned and right now I'm trying to make sure it all makes at least some sense. Plus I've been reading some amazing stories other people are writing which immediately makes me worry that my stuff isn't good. Want recommendations on some quality shit? Because I have some.  
> Do something nice for yourself today.
> 
>  
> 
> Also: I've set up an email specifically for fanfic. If you want to send questions/comments/requests/muffin recipes-email me at nabooliolawrites@gmail.com

“Fuck!” You sat straight up in a cold sweat. Next to you, Dean raised his head, eyes blurry.

“You okay babygirl?” His voice was rough and were circumstances different, you would be turned on by the sound. That wasn't possible though when your heart was racing with residual fear. Especially not when you couldn’t figure out why you were afraid.

“Yeah, I'm good.” Resting your head on your sweat-soaked pillow, you took a deep breath and willed yourself to calm down and come up with an excuse. “Just thought I heard something downstairs.” You could feel Dean's skepticism but he didn't argue, rubbing your back gently until you feel back asleep. Once he was sure you were out, he met Sam's concerned gaze.

“How many nights is this now? Twelve?” Dean asked, not stopping the movement of his hand on your back.

“Twelve in a row, sixteen total.” Sam sighed. “What do you think it's about?”

“No idea but I doubt it's anything good.”

You had been waking up with nightmares for two weeks now and the brothers didn't know what to do. They had asked you about it in the beginning only to discover that you had no memory of the dreams. Your soulmates were torn. On the one hand, they wanted to know what was haunting your dreams while on the other, the nightmares were horrific enough for your mind to block them out and they didn't want to break a protective wall.

“It's getting worse, Dean.” Sam bit his lip. “I think it's starting to affect her during the day now too. She's been so tired.”

Dean said nothing, kissing the top of your head and frowning to himself.

  
  
  
  
  


Castiel had been stopping by fairly frequently, asking if Kevin had made any progress with his half of the tablet. Whenever he visited, you would retreat to the bedroom as proximity to the seraph was both physically painful and strangely soothing. The boys seemed unaware of your discomfort, simply assuming that it was hard for you to be around Castiel when the loss of Gabriel was so new. This understanding fell apart though, in a crappy little motel room.

You and the boys had taken out a couple of wraiths just outside Missoula and Castiel had shown up to heal your injuries. Just like before, the use of his angelic powers was accompanied by both the comforting warmth of Gabriel’s presence and the terrifying sound of his screams. Neither brother seemed to notice anything though. You watched with narrowed eyes as he first knitted up the large gash on Sam’s stomach before curing Dean’s concussion. When he reached out to fix your dislocated shoulder, you snarled and slapped his arm away.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch me!” You growled, backing away from the still outstretched hand.

“(Y/N)!” Dean shouted gruffly. “What the hell was that?” You said nothing, continuing to scowl at the angel. “ **(Y/N)! Answer me!** ” _Damn him…_

“I don’t want him touching me. Ever.” A tense silence filled the room as each Winchester reacted differently. Sam tilted his head in confusion, poking at the bond to try and figure out what had you so upset. Dean on the other hand, had turned to console his angel.

“She doesn’t mean it, Cas. She’s just having a hard time because Gabriel’s gone.”

“I understand. I hadn’t realized my presence was disturbing. I’ll return when you call.” There was the familiar fluttering sound before Castiel disappeared, leaving you alone with your soulmates.

“You mind telling us what’s going on?” Dean was trying and failing to keep the anger out of his voice. You whimpered, shaking your head and stepping closer to Sam. It still felt strange trying to explain your aversion to Castiel. “Seriously, I’m getting really tired of waiting. I know you miss Gabriel but it’s not Cas’ fault and you need to stop treating him like garbage.” Anger was pulsing out of the dom at a frightening level and, to your utter embarrassment, you felt tears welling up in your eyes. Everything was just so overwhelming. Your head was still aching from being near Castiel, your body was exhausted for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, you were still trying to figure out why you heard Gabriel screaming and felt an ache in your bones whenever Castiel was nearby… And your shoulder really _really_ hurt.

“Dean!” Sam stepped between you and his brother. “Calm down. You know that yelling doesn’t solve things.” He turned and gently wiped away your tears. “Let’s get that arm fixed, okay?” You nodded, biting your lip as he popped your shoulder back into place.

  


 

* * *

 

 

 

“Cas, come down here.” Dean glanced up at the sky. “(Y/N) has something she’d like to say to you.”

Dean had decided that you were going to apologize for being a brat. While you were pretty pissed about him making that call, you wanted to smooth everything over. If you had to fake an apology to make Dean happy again, so be it. It was exhausting to have so much stress running through the bond, especially when you were so tired to begin with.

“Hello.” Castiel arrived with a familiar flapping sound. You winced as your head immediately began pounding before forcing a smile.

“Hi Cas…” You stared nervously at the angel until Dean cleared his throat pointedly. “I uh… I wanted to say sorry for snapping at you earlier. It wasn’t very kind, especially since you were trying to heal me.”

“Thank you for apologizing.” Castiel’s face remained blank and impassive as if he knew you were lying. Dean however, was pleased.

“There we go, everyone’s friends again!” He clapped Castiel on the shoulder. “So what’s the buzz on angel radio?”

“I don’t know, I’ve turned it off.”

“You turned it off? You can do that?” Sam asked, tilting his head in interest.

“Yes, I don’t want anything linking me so directly to Heaven. I am severing all ties with that place.”

“So now what?” Dean asked. Castiel shrugged.

“I want to help people… I was thinking I could become a hunter.” You weren’t sure what was funnier, Castiel’s prideful little smirk, Sam’s complete befuddlement, or the almost offended look on Dean’s face.

“You think you’ve got what it takes?” Sam scoffed.

“Of course I do. I’ve even found a case!”

Neither you nor your soulmates thought Castiel was anywhere near capable of being a hunter, but the lead he found was good and just like that, you were in the car, breathing deeply through the headache brought on by the angel sitting a foot away from you.

  
  
  
  


Castiel’s lead turned out to be valid. Unfortunately, that meant that you and the boys were spending a lot of time with the angel. Being near him was agonizing, something deep inside of you repulsed by his presence, but also craving it. It reminded you of something you had read about a parasite causing mice to be attracted to the scent of cat urine… Prey unwillingly drawn to predator. Needless to say, as long as the seraph was nearby, you were unable to relax.

For the first time in your life, you were happy to be in a morgue. The sharp antiseptic, pungent formaldehyde, and lingering stench of death was distracting enough to lessen the pain of Castiel’s proximity. As the four of you left to investigate the dead man’s wife, you seriously considered stealing something out of the biohazard bin to use as anti-angel smelling salts.

Sam picked up on your discomfort and purposefully stayed behind when, after returning to the motel, Dean and Castiel went out to find dinner. As soon as the door closed behind them, you let out a ragged gasp, finally able to fill your lungs completely.

“(Y/N)?” Sam stepped into your space, using a hand under your chin to turn your face up to his. “Baby you know you can tell me anything, right?”

You chuckled dismissively, not meeting his eyes. “Of course I know that.”

“Then why are you keeping secrets?” No matter how sweet his tone was, there was no way to cushion the accusation in those words and you flinched. Regret filtered through the bond as Sam quickly backtracked. “I’m not mad at you, I promise. I just want to know what’s going on so I can help you.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours. “Sweetheart please let me in.”

Once again, you found yourself tearing up. “I’m not trying to keep secrets, I promise.” You wound your arms around Sam’s neck, loving how much he dwarfed you, making you feel small and safe. “If I knew what was happening, I would tell you. I just don’t understand what’s going on.” Curling your fingers into the hairs at the nape of his neck, you whispered “I think I might be going crazy.”

“Crazy how?” Sam asked, memories of his Lucifer-hallucinations creeping up. Seeing the hesitancy in your eyes, he sighed and stepped away, grabbing a pillow off the bed and dropping it to the floor in front of a flea-bitten armchair as he sat down. “Come here.”

You sank down gratefully, leaning your cheek against a denim-clad thigh. Sam crossed his ankles, bracketing you in the warmth of his long legs. Being down on your knees for either brother was insanely soothing. When you were down there, you were free from any expectation or obligation outside of your soulmates, just existing as something sweet and pretty for them to pet. It felt like the safest place in the world.

“Let me in sweetheart” Sam’s fingers tangled in your hair, tugging gently. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Castiel…” You mumbled into his leg. “Ever since he came back from Purgatory, he’s been different.”

“Different how?”

“He just… He _feels_ wrong.” You pulled away from your hiding place to meet Sam’s eyes. “I know that I sound crazy but there’s something fishy about that angel. Being near him fucking _hurts_ , Sam. His voice hurts my head and seeing him makes me feel sick…” You looked back down, playing with one of Sam’s shoelaces. “And when he… when he uses his angel powers…” You trailed off, not sure if you wanted to tell Sam what accompanied Castiel’s mojo. Your soulmate cleared his throat pointedly, nudging you.

“Keep going (Y/N). I’m not going to think you’re crazy, I promise.”

“You know that ringing sound that his powers make?” Sam nodded. “Well there’s something underneath the ringing…”

“Yeah?”

You took a deep breath. “I can hear screaming, Sam. I hear Gabriel screaming.” Sam’s body went rigid as he tried to wrap his mind around the implications.

“We need to stay away from him until we figure this out. I’ve got to go get Dean away.” You were shaking your head before he even finished speaking.

“No! I know that I said being around him hurts but it’s also… Something about him feels good too.”

“Good?”

“Yeah… Safe? I’m not sure how to explain it but it’s how I always felt around Gabriel. Like the air around him was made of hugs.” You wrinkled your nose at how cheesy that sounded, frustrated that you couldn’t think of a better way to explain it. Sam seemed to understand though, nodding slowly.

“I’ve been getting that from Cas ever since I came back from the cage. And Gabriel was pretty much always like that. I just thought it was an angel thing.” He tilted his head in confusion. “You’ve never felt that from Castiel before?”

“Nope.” You let the ‘p’ pop loudly. “But now it’s there and it’s freaking me out. I think Castiel is hiding something big and whatever it is, Gabriel is involved.”

The conversation was interrupted by Dean and Cas returning. A sharp look from you cut off any words Sam was about to say and the two of you allowed the night to progress as normal.

  


 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A few days later, you were sprawled across the couch, snuggling with your boys. Dean had put some old Chuck Norris movie on and was doing something amazing with his fingers against your scalp.

At your insistence, Sam had agreed to keep your conversation to himself. You weren’t ready to talk to Dean about Castiel, wary to come between him and his angel. Castiel had gone off on his own again after the case, giving you and the boys plenty of privacy.

Yawning for the millionth time, you rolled over, pressing your face into Dean’s newly present belly. The older Winchester had been self-conscious when he first noticed the tiny developing pudge, but you and Sam had spent several hours showing him just how much you loved his body. Sam’s firm chest and chiseled abs were drool-worthy but Dean was just as gorgeous. He may be slightly softer now (which you were hardly upset about because it just made him even better to snuggle) but there was still definite muscle and strength underneath the barely-there layer of squish.

“You gonna take a nap babygirl?” Dean kept up the soothing scratches and you hummed. “Go ahead, get some sleep.” Not needing to be told twice, you drifted off. The brothers shared a smile, both glad that you were getting more rest after all the nightmares.

That relief was short-lived though as about ten minutes after falling asleep, your body jolted. Your eyes snapped open and pained shrieks fell from your lips as you began convulsing.

“(Y/N)!” Dean moved quickly, bringing you down to the floor so that you couldn’t roll off the couch and holding tight to your arms. “Sugarplum what’s wrong?” As suddenly as it had started, your spasms stopped and you yanked your arms free before curling up in a ball and sobbing.

Sam laid down next to you, a large hand warm on your back. “Baby are you okay?” You whined low in your throat, launching yourself into Sam’s arms. He held you tight while you trembled and mumbled nonsense into his skin. “Shhh you’re okay now, it’s okay…”

A few moments passed before you lifted your face from Sam’s neck, blinking in confusion. “Sam?” You looked around. “Why am I on the floor?”

The brothers shared an alarmed glance before Dean cleared his throat.

“You rolled right off the couch, quicker than we could catch you.”

“Huh…” You let Sam pull you up to your shaky feet before half-heartedly winking. “Maybe I need to sleep tied up from now on.” The boys chuckled awkwardly at your clumsy innuendo, wondering how much longer this could possibly go on.

  
  


“We have to tell her.” Sam sighed, shrugging when Dean looked up in anger. “Dean, we can’t let this continue. She’s barely getting any sleep at this point-hell _we’re_ not getting any sleep at this point. You had gone to take a shower, giving the boys a chance to talk about your constant nightmares.

“You really think that’s a good idea Sam? Do you know how messed up her nightmares must be for her brain to be blocking them out?”

“Did you hear what she was saying when she woke up?”

“Other than asking why she was on the floor? No.” Dean frowned. “What was she saying?”

“I’m not sure but it sounded like Enochian.” Sam shook his head. “When has that ever been a good thing?”

Dean stood up, rolling his shoulders. “Think you could remember the words? Maybe Cas can translate.”

Sam jumped to his feet as well. “No. We’re not involving Cas.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “What so now you hate Cas too? Seriously Sam? After everything he’s done for us?!”

“Dean, hasn’t Cas seemed a little….un-Cass lately?” Sam sighed before looking at his brother sympathetically. “Don’t you wonder how he got out of Purgatory? Especially if an archangel couldn’t make it out alive?”

“I must be crazy.” Dean chuckled darkly. “Because if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were accusing Cas of doing something to his brother.”

“I’m not saying anything Dean… I just think that we should be a little careful around Castiel for now.”

You lingered just out of view, listening to your boys argue and hating yourself for stirring up conflict.

  


A few days later, you were nearly inside the washer, fishing out a loose sock when it hit you. A scream tore from your lips as indescribable torture raced through your mind. The door to the laundry room nearly came off the hinges as the boys came flying in, looking around for the threat. Dean yanked you out of the washer, taking you into the living room and plopping down on the couch with you in his lap. You had stopped screaming and Sam kneeled in front of you, frowning at your wide eyes and shallow breathing.

“(Y/N)? Sweetheart?” He took one of your hands between his, gently squeezing. “Are you okay baby?” You shook your head slowly “What’s wrong?” You blinked a few times before finally answering.

“Samandriel. We need to help Samandriel.”

 

The words had barely passed your lips when a fluttering sound filled the room and Castiel appeared. You shrieked, launching yourself out of Dean’s arms and into Sam’s. The angel spared you a short glance before turning to Dean.

“I need your help. Crowley has kidnapped the angel Samandriel and is torturing him. We must rescue Samandriel and return him to Heaven.”

  
  


To Dean and Castiel’s surprise and suspicion, Sam surrendered his usual shotgun spot, scrunching up and joining you in the backseat as the four of you drove to Nebraska, chasing a lead on Samandriel’s location. Castiel had said that angels being tortured would manifest in strange occurrences and a perusal of Garth’s online forum for weird shit showed promise in the form of a burning bush. From there, it didn’t take long to narrow down and find the place Samandriel was being kept.

  
  


Riding in a warm car made you sleepy on the best of days, and with your current level of exhaustion, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that you would fall asleep. Sam held his breath when you began mumbling in your sleep again, slurring out words that he knew were Enochian. Castiel’s head whipped around and his blue eyes narrowed in suspicion as you repeated a phrase over and over.

“What’s she saying?” Dean glanced in the rearview mirror.

“She’s saying ‘ _You, celestial being have been created to be an angel of the Lord’_ ”. Castiel said slowly. “The question is why…”

“Is that what she was saying last time Sammy?”

“There was a last time?”

Sam glared at his brother, furious that your secret was being revealed. You shifted against his chest, beginning to speak again and Sam quickly pinched your leg to wake you up. You whined a bit, trying to fall back asleep before realizing where you were.

“Did I fall asleep?” You asked. At the answering nods, you blushed. “Sorry! I hope I didn’t snore too loud or anything.”

Sam kissed your forehead. “Nope, you slept quiet as a mouse.” Dean’s eyes flashed with an indecipherable emotion in the mirror but you didn’t have long to analyze it before you had arrived at Crowley’s hideout.

  
  


 

* * *

 

  


“Another fucking warehouse?” You hissed, rolling your eyes as Sam used spray paint to break an anti-angel seal. “Imagine how hard it would be for demons if we didn’t have such high unemployment. There would be no abandoned factories or warehouses…The recession was good news for Hell apparently” Your musing was interrupted by the sound of screaming. “Samandriel…”

Sam dropped his paint can to the floor. “Alright Cas, whenever you’re ready.”

The angel appeared, looking ragged and out of breath.

“It’s the sigils.” He growled out in frustration. “They’re weakening me.” Just then, Samandriel screamed again. This time, you could hear the screams echoed by Gabriel’s voice as well and couldn’t help covering your ears. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Castiel doing the same.

“Come on!” Dean shouted, gesturing for Sam to help him break down the door keeping the four of you from Samandriel. The brothers began throwing their bodies against the door.

Each time Samandriel screamed, you felt it in your whole being, his pain rattling your skull. A ringing began emanating from Castiel as well, adding to the overwhelming din in your mind and, as he sank to the floor in agony, you turned and vomited, your body unable to bear all of the input.

The door crashed open and you forced yourself back up, charging forward clumsily and helping Castiel free Samandriel from his restraints, holding back the urge to throw up again at the sight of what had been done to him. It looked like Crowley had been drilling into the angel’s _brain_ , and your hands shook as you pulled the metal screws free. The boys were working quickly to take out all of the demons in the room and you were about to help them when your ears filled with the sound of fluttering.

Suddenly, you were outside with Castiel and Samandriel. It was clear that Castiel hadn’t meant for you to be zapped along with him but he was too busy speaking with his brother.

“Let me take you home now Samandriel.”

“No!” The smaller angel coughed, blood spilling from his mouth. “I was weak Castiel. I revealed secrets to Crowley that I didn’t even know we had.”

“What secrets?”

“Heaven… Naomi…”

You could practically feel Castiel’s revulsion at that name and couldn’t help asking “Who’s Naomi?”

Samandriel looked over as if just realizing you were there. “It’s you! But-but you’re… How are you even alive?” He shook his head as and turned wide eyes to Castiel. “Listen to me brother, I know that place. I’ve been there. They’re controlling us Castiel!” His eyes flickered back over to you, a new kind of pain present in the bloodshot orbs.

“Who is controlling you?” You snapped. “Castiel what’s going on? Who’s Naomi?”

“Quiet!” You flinched at the venom in the seraph’s voice.

“Castiel!” Samandriel gasped. “Brother please! I can help you, we can escape this. Just listen to me.”

It was as if the world was moving twice as fast. You saw Castiel’s blade drop into his hand, but had no time to do anything before he drove it into Samandriel’s chest. The angel screamed as he died and you screamed right along with him. Castiel’s eyes went vacant and he slumped forward, mouth moving but no sound coming out. You collapsed to the ground, crawling a few feet away and vomiting again.

“(Y/N)!” Sam’s concern flooded into your mind and you collapsed into his arms, clinging to the material of his shirt. “Sweetheart are you okay?” You shook your head, blinking your eyes open and sluggishly looking around for Dean. Your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw him bent over in front of Castiel, speaking softly to the frightened angel. Betrayal coiled through you and you sobbed, terrified of what you had seen and what it meant for your bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put up the final prequel for this story and it's my favorite of the three. If you haven't read it yet...maybe read it?
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> I don't think I could ever explain how much it means to me that people read this story and like it. Hearing from you guys makes me write faster.  
> Basically I'm a whore for comments.
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> Lastly, if you have spare time and a couple of fingers, consider crossing them for me? I am reeeaaalllly close (at least I think) to getting this awesome job and I really really really want it.


	43. Crying Party in the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head and Dean has to come to terms with the fact that Castiel isn't the same angel he once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey bitches I'm back!
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> First off-I'm so so so so so so sorry that it's been so long! I had a LOT of life happen. I got the job (yay!), my grades tanked and I had to drop a class, and my grandmother has been in and out of the hospital and is now in a long-term care facility with a fairly bleak prognosis.
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> I know this chapter is short but I wanted to at least get something out. Again, so sorry for the delay!

_ Sam followed Dean into the room Samandriel was trapped in. Crowley seemed to have vacated but there were still several demons to take out. He looked up from Dean stabbing the last demon to see Castiel disappear, taking you and Samandriel with him. Not sparing a moment, Sam took off, running outside to the car. In his mind, he could feel your horror and confusion going a million miles a minute. He got out there just in time to see Castiel cradling a dead angel while you crawled away to vomit. _

_ “(Y/N)!” He scrambled to his knees, gathering you into his arms. Your hands were shaky but strong as they clung to his shirt and he squeezed you even tighter. “Sweetheart are you okay?” Sam’s heart dropped to his stomach when he saw your eyes linger on Dean before tearing up. With a hand on the back of your head, he drew your face to hide in his neck, glaring at his older brother. Castiel and Samandriel vanished in a loud flapping sound and Dean finally turned around, seeing you trembling in Sam’s hold. _

_ “(Y/N)?” He reached an arm out, frowning when Sam pulled you closer and backed away. “Sammy, what the hell?” _

_ Sam stood, keeping you bundled up in his arms, and opened the passenger-side backdoor. “Just take us home, Dean.” _

  
  


* * *

 

 

A nasty tension had settled over the house. None of you spoke much as any conversation tended to turn into a shouting match. Sam and Dean were split on the subject of Castiel, with Dean offended that his soulmates were so suspicious of the angel and Sam seeing Dean’s opposition as a betrayal. You kept to yourself, spending most of your time in your old childhood bedroom, stewing in guilt.

The friction was taking its toll on your soulmates, Sam constantly tired and prone to tears while Dean would lose track of reality. A few times, you had seen him walk into a room then seem surprised to be there, as if he had forgotten the past few minutes. He was forgetting all kinds of things, leaving doors unlocked, water running.... Once he had tuned out while driving down the freeway, narrowly avoiding an accident.

Needless to say, things were bad. It was almost a relief when a new case came up as it gave the three of you something else to focus on. Despite all of the unrest within your relationship, the three of you still worked fairly well as a team. Unfortunately, you were all functioning poorly as individuals and a simple tangle with a restless spirit nearly ended in Dean’s death. When you got back to the house, Sam dragged you and Dean both into the living room.

“This isn’t working. We need to find a way to move past what’s going on.” You slumped back onto the couch, preparing yourself for what would surely be a shouting match.

“Moving past things sounds great.” Dean said, raising an eyebrow. “So you two are ready to move past whatever your issue is with Cas?”

“Maybe you could move past your apparent loyalty to him over your own soulmates!” Sam snarled.

“Maybe my soulmates should trust my judgement!” Dean’s voice was just growing louder.

“Maybe you both should just shut the fuck up!” You shouted. The boys gaped in surprise at your outburst (to be honest, you were a bit surprised too). But you didn’t regret shouting. It was impossible to get to the root of things when you were all yelling at each other and you weren’t sure if you could take much more of Dean’s cold shoulder or Sam’s simmering temper. 

“(Y/N), this would be a lot easier if you just told Dean what’s been going on with Castiel.” Sam’s suggestion, while probably the best solution, set a spark of anger off in your stomach. You had trusted the younger Winchester with your secret and didn’t appreciate the fact that he was essentially forcing you to spill the beans.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


_ Agony… Pain unlike anything he had ever felt was ripping through Gabriel’s whole being, vessel and grace battered beyond recognition. Crying out soundlessly, he writhed in his bonds. They wouldn’t kill him, they never did. No matter how much he pleaded, his captors never took mercy and ended his torture. _

_ Finally they finished with him for the day. As his abusers walked away, Gabriel choked on a sob. What he wouldn’t give to see his family again… _

_ With fond memories of his brother and their favorite humans playing in his mind, the archangel eventually succumbed to sleep. The torture would begin again soon. _

  
  


* * *

 

 

You weren’t sure which was worse, the fact that Dean had stormed out in a fit of anger when you told him what was going on, or the heartbreak you felt from Sam. Needing to get away from the emotions your soulmate was throwing out, you went upstairs, crawling into the closet of your childhood bedroom. Growing up, the closet was where you went to hide when your parents argued. They didn’t fight often but when they did, it was ugly. When your father died, you had spent a week holed up in your closet, not ready to face the outside world.

With a sad smile, you traced the crayon drawings you’d made on the walls. Your finger stopped when you hit a little drawing of a broken heart. Tapping it three times, you whispered an incantation and reached into the hole that appeared in the wall. The shoebox was still there, covered in misspelled warnings to anyone other than you who dared touch it. Shaky hands lifted the lid and reached inside.

When your dad died, your mom had purged the house of any and all reminders of him. Inside that shoebox were the few items you had been able to save. It wasn’t much, a box of cigarettes, his wedding ring, a shopping list he had written so you could keep a bit of his handwriting… 

Sam found you a few hours later, still curled up in the closet, running your fingers along the spine of one of your dad’s favorite books. He didn’t say anything, simply scrunched his body up to fit in the closet with you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders while you leaned on him and cried.

 

Some time later, you heard the floorboards creaking. The scent of leather flooded your senses as Dean joined you and Sam in the closet, effectively trapping you between the two of them.

“I’m starting to think I’ve fucked up.” Dean said with a sigh. Somewhere above your head, you heard Sam snort in derision.

“What gave that away?”

“This isn’t something you would lie about, either of you.” Dean began fiddling with his ring, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable. “I just…” He sighed again and let his head slam into the wall, falling into a defeated silence.

“You don’t want it to be true.” Sam’s voice was gentle. “I know, Dean. I didn’t want that either. But wanting something doesn’t make it so.” 

A sharp inhale was the only response Dean gave, though you could feel his sorrow through the cracks of the bond. Slowly, you managed to worm your way into his lap, giving Sam more room for his long legs.

“For what it’s worth” You wrapped your arms around Dean’s neck, nosing at the stubble on his jaw. “I’m sorry…”

He cupped the back of your head, pulling you up for a hard kiss. Hot tears spilled onto your face from his, washing away the sting of his anger.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

It had been a couple of weeks since your crying party in the closet and things were………...better? It was hard to tell. You were still sleeping poorly and Dean’s moments of brain fog hadn’t gone away but at least the three of you were united again. You had been wrapping up on a case with a pack of werewolves in Peoria when out of nowhere, a man came tumbling through the hotel closet door.

  
  
  


“Which of you is John Winchester?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and kinda crappy but it's an update so....? *shrug* You get what you pay for and I'm free.
> 
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> Comments feed my soul.
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> I have an email address specifically for fanfics now! If you have questions/comments/requests/muffin recipes, hit me up! nabooliolawrites@gmail.com


	44. Castle Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean have never had good luck with grandfathers, but this one leads them to a few surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for sticking by me. I know that there was a long wait between chapters and while I can't guarantee it won't happen again, I am going to try to keep up with the story more consistently. As I've said before, I don't want to make a designated schedule because that would just stress me out.
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> I have an email address just for fanfic now! If you have questions/comments/concerns/requests/conspiracy theories, hit me up! nabooliolawrites@gmail.com

_ “Which of you is John Winchester?” _

 

You had been brushing your hair in the bathroom when the stranger arrived and decided to linger in the doorway out of sight in case the element of surprise was needed.

“Uh…” Sam glanced over at Dean who had irritation and confusion written all over his face. “Neither of us.”

“That’s not possible!” The man frowned and ran a hand through his hair, muttering to himself before stepping forward and reaching out to grab Sam’s shirt. “One of you must know John Winchester.” Before his hand reached the switch, Dean grabbed the stranger and shoved him back against the wall.

“Hands off him!” He snarled. The man seemed unperturbed.

“Please concentrate. You must know John Winchester!”

“Tell you what.” Sam stepped up behind Dean with narrowed eyes. “When one of us falls out of your closet, you can ask the questions.” The stranger sighed and stopped fighting Dean’s hold.

“Apologies.” He raised an eyebrow. “Sir, is it absolutely essential that you be holding me?” Dean cautiously stepped back and watched as the man began straightening his suit. “Well gentlemen, I’m afraid this has been a marvelous, tragic misunderstanding. I’ll be on my way.”

“I don’t think so.” Dean grabbed a pair of handcuffs. “You’re not going anywhere.” The boys tussled with the intruder, pulling back when the cuffs could be heard clicking into place. Dean’s satisfied smirk was short-lived though when he realized that somehow, he and Sam were the ones cuffed to the hotel chair. “You’ve gotta be kidding me!” 

You waited until the door closed before quickly making your way over to your trapped soulmates, fiddling at the locks with a bobby pin.

“That was weird.” You freed Sam first, letting him get Dean out since he was the faster lockpick of the three of you. Outside, you heard glass shatter and Dean cursed under his breath.

“That better not be what I think it is.” He rushed to the door, yanking it open to see that the closet-intruder had smashed a window on the Impala. “Son of a bitch!”

  
  
  


Between the three of you, you managed to get the stranger tied up back in the motel room. Sam was quick to splash him with holy water, frowning when this earned him nothing more than a chuckle.

“Ah… Holy water.” He grinned at Dean. “What’s next, silver?”

“Well he’s not a complete idiot.” Dean cut the stranger’s arm with a silver blade, again getting no reaction. Before the man could snark again, you had him sputtering.

“That one’s new… Is that cleaning solution?” He glared at you.

“Not a Leviathan either…” You crossed your arms. While it was almost impossible that Leviathan would be back, you didn’t want to be too careful when it came to those nasties.

“I could have told you that.” The man huffed then turned to Dean imploringly. “You seem to be the one in charge here. What must I do to convince you to let me go?”

“You could start by giving us answers.” Sam barked, clearly irritated at being overlooked. The stranger gave your soulmate what could only be described as a pitying smile.

“I assure you that this is far beyond anything you could ever comprehend.” His gaze drifted over from you and Sam to Dean. “Any of you, really. And violence will not assist in your attempts to understand.”

“Let me tell you what I understand” Dean growled, leaning forward into the man’s space, pistol held up threateningly. “Some asshat falls out of my closet, starts asking questions about my dad, smashes up my ride, and insults my soulmates.” He jabbed his gun once into the strangers chest. “So why am I not getting violent again?”

“John Winchester is your father?” The man’s eyes were wide. Annoyance spilled over from Sam. Before much else could happen, the whole room shook with a rumble. Dean was quick to back away from the tied stranger, coming to stand defensively near you and Sam.

“What the hell was that?” 

Your unwitting guest didn’t answer, easily twisting out of his bonds and turning to face the closet with a look of horror on his face. In a voice far unlike the conciliatory tone from before, he issued a single-word steeped in warning and command.

“ _ Run _ ”

Before any of you could so much as move, the closet door glowed and opened, closing behind a new arrival.

  
  


The woman who stepped out the door was beautiful in the way that made you ache with feelings of inferiority. Porcelain skin, dainty curves, glossy hair...She was gorgeous. 

You hated her.

“Henry…” She stepped closer to the man, blood-soaked dress swishing around her legs. “You silly boy, you forgot to lock the door.” Her eyes raked over you and your soulmates appraisingly before her lips curled in contempt. “Be a dear and give me what I want, and I’ll kill you and your friends quickly.” Aggression pounded into your mind from both brothers, only growing when the man-whose name must be Henry-shook his head.

“You know I can’t do that.” He whispered.

She tutted. “You never were a fighter, Henry.” She lifted a hand towards Sam and Dean snarled, rushing at her. With a lazy flick of her wrist she sent him flying back against the wall, you and Sam swiftly following. Groaning in pain, you rolled over just in time to see Dean struggle to his feet, coming up behind the woman and stabbing her with Ruby’s blade. She screamed and fell to her knees. Not giving her time to recover, Sam yanked you to your feet and the four of you rushed out the door.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Who the hell was that?” Sam shouted.

“One twisted bitch, that’s for sure…” Dean tightened the arm around your shoulder before glancing into the rearview mirror. Henry had been shoved in the backseat, you and your soulmates squeezed into the front. “Son of a bitch.” He pulled over quickly. “Don’t you dare do that in here!” Henry stumbled out of the car, doubling over and vomiting on the side of the road.

You and the boys exited the car, watching the well put together man retch onto a pile of wet leaves.

Finally, he stood upright, trembling and wiping his mouth with an honest-to-god handkerchief. Dean cleared his throat pointedly.

“Apologies” Henry finished wiping his mouth. “The adventures I am used to are usually of a more literary nature.”

“Alright well now that you’re done blowing chunks, how ‘bout you tell us about Betty Crocker back there.” Dean spat.

You could see the gears turning in Henry’s head as he tried to decide whether or not to tell you and the boys the truth. Finally, he sighed. “Abbadon. She’s a demon.”

“No shit, Sherlock!” Dean rolled his eyes. “Where did she come from? Where did you come from? What does she want from you?”

“She’s from Hell.” Henry deadpanned as he adjusted his tie. “And I am from Normal, Illinois, 1958.”

You snorted. “You’re kidding, right?” The look on his face showed that the man might be incapable of kidding.

Henry stepped forward. “Please, one of you must know John Winchester. It is paramount that you take me to him.”

“Not gonna happen!” Dean spat.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s dead.” Sam’s voice was surprisingly gentle as he delivered the news. Henry’s eyes widened and he took several wobbly steps backwards, shaking his head.

“No no no no no” He looked to Dean pleadingly. “That can’t be.”

“What’s it to you?”

“He’s my son!”

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


You sat across from Henry at the crappy diner while the boys went to get lunch.

“I must say, I am a bit surprised that they are still so hostile after learning of our relation.” Henry gazed almost longingly at the back of Sam’s head. 

You patted his hand reassuringly. “Yeah well, they don’t have the best track record with grandfathers.”

While you still didn’t particularly care for Henry, you couldn't help feeling sympathetic. The man was just now learning that his little boy had died young, leaving behind two sons of his own. That couldn’t be easy to process.

The pseudo-moment was interrupted by Dean unceremoniously dropping a plate of food in front of Henry.

“Here, lunch.”

Sam glared at Dean before turning those big soulful eyes to Henry. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” Henry’s smile was entirely unconvincing. “After all, I have just met my grandsons.” He reached a hand out towards Sam. “Henry Winchester, pleased to meet you.”

Sam took the hand and shook it. “Sam” Henry reached over to Dean who simply grunted through his mouthful of burger. 

“That’s Dean.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “And I’m (Y/N), their soulmate.” You could feel both boys waiting nervously for Henry’s reaction to learning that his grandsons were in a triad with one another. 

“Lovely to meet you.” Henry’s eyes were warm and you realized that they looked remarkably like Sam’s. “I can’t say this isn’t surprising but I’m glad to know that my grandchildren have found their soulmates.”

“Alright now that the Hallmark moment has passed, how about we get to cleaning up your mess.” Dean said.

“Abbadon…” Henry fidgeted in his chair-eerily similar to how Dean couldn’t keep still when he was anxious about something. “She must be stopped.”

“Why didn’t she die when I stabbed her?”

“Because demons cannot be killed by run-of-the-mill cutlery. To get anywhere close, you would need an ancient demon-killing kni-” Henry’s words died in his throat as Dean held up Ruby’s blade. “Where did you get that?”

“Demon gave it to me.” Satisfaction flared in Dean’s mind at Henry’s clear surprise.

“What about that portal you came through?” Sam leaned forward on his elbow. “Is it still open?”

“Doubtful.” Henry chewed thoughtfully on a french fry. “My soul isn’t strong enough to hold it open this long.” He shoved two more of the potato sticks into his mouth. “It would seem that mankind has spent much of the years between my time and yours engineering the perfect fry.”

“Wait wait wait” Sam’s eyebrows were scrunched up incredulity . “Did you say you made that portal with your soul?”

“Of course.” Henry licked his fingers. “My soul, my blood, an angel feather, tears of a dragon, and a pinch of the sands of time…” He shrugged. “But my soul would need a few days to recharge.

“You can tap into the power of your soul?” Sam’s voice was full of awe. Even Dean looked impressed. “I thought only angels could do that.”

“You should know this by now.” Henry frowned in confusion. “What level are you two?”

“Level?” Dean asked.

“Level of knowledge, yes.” Henry looked back and forth between the brothers. “You are men of letters, yes?” At their blank faces, he sat back in disbelief. “You must be men of letters, just like your father who taught you our ways.”

“Our father taught us how to be hunters…” Sam answered slowly, watching Henry’s face.

Henry laughed. “You’re not!” When neither brother reacted, his face fell. “You are? Hunters? But...but you’re legacies! You come from a long line of Men of Letters.”

“Is this some kind of cult?” You asked, flinching back slightly when Henry snarled in offence.

“No! It’s….” He stood abruptly. “I’ll show you!”

  
  
  


Dean dutifully drove to the address Henry had given, stopping outside a sketchy looking comic shop. As the four of you approached the door, you sighed.

“This is going to be some kind of cult thing, isn’t it?” 

“No” Henry breathed, tracing his fingers along a carving in the door. “This is simply a concealment to fool our enemies.”

“Yeah, you still haven’t explained what this shit is.” Dean growled, exhausted from the long drive and the riddles Henry spoke in. “Who are you and why do you have enemies?”

“We are preceptors, beholders… chroniclers of all that which man does not understand. We share limited findings with a precious few trusted hunters.”

“Then why have we never heard of you?” You asked. “The only hunter who knew more than Sam and Dean was my uncle Bobby and he never mentioned you guys once.”

“I suspect Abaddon is to blame.” Henry turned back to the door, hand on the knob. “We must stop her.” As you followed him down a dingy hallway, papered with blacklight posters, Sam continued to question his grandfather.

“But why? Why would she do this?”

“I think to get this.” Henry pulled a small carved box out of his pocket and sighed. “I just wish I knew what it was.”

“Let me get this straight” Dean asked in confusion “You traveled through time to protect something that does….you don’t know what… from a demon you know nothing about?” Henry nodded and you scoffed.

“Told you it was a cult.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  
  


“I’m just saying” you pointed out as you grabbed shovels out of the trunk of the Impala. “Who goes digging up dead bodies? If you’re not a hunter, this seems pretty cult-ish.” Sam had managed to track down information about the night Henry fled 1958, leading you to a graveyard. Now, the three of you were preparing to dig up a grave. As you began digging, you heard a surprised sound come from Henry’s mouth.

“You cannot seriously be allowing a lady to shovel dirt like this!” 

Dean chuckled and bumped his elbow against you playfully. “This one pretty much does what she wants.”

 

After a while, you got tired and let the boys take over the digging. After determining that the corpse in the coffin didn’t truly belong to Henry’s friend and that it was a cover, you all set off to catch the not-dead Larry. 

 

Henry requested to stop at a motel for the night, a plan you weren’t against. You were sprawled across one of the beds, head in Dean’s lap while he played with your hair. Sam sat at the table with Henry, casually flipping through John’s journal. After a few minutes of listening to Henry whistle, Dean froze.

“Do I know that song?”

“I should hope so.” Henry grinned. “It’s from Casablanca.”

“Dad used to hum it from time to time.” Sam said softly. Dean nodded to himself, resuming the soothing motions of his hand in your hair.

“Your father saw Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy at the drive-in one night.” Henry drawled fondly. “It scared the beeswax out of him. I got him a little music box that plays that song to help him sleep.” He grinned. “Worked like a charm.”

A strange silence fell over the room. Dean fighting the anger he had always carried for his grandfather while Sam and Henry mused about a young John Winchester. You pushed waves of calm and comfort through the bond, letting Dean’s responding pulse of love warm you from the inside-out.

“Listen to this.” Sam called, getting your and Dean’s attention. “According to Dad’s journal, he once tortured a demon who said he made his bones working for Abbadon. It goes on to say that she’s a knight of Hell.” He frowned. “I’m not sure what that is but it doesn’t sound good.”

“Knights of Hell are hand-picked by Lucifer himself.” Henry explained flatly. “They are the first born demons, much stronger than the demons we encounter today. Legend has it that archangels had killed all of them but it sounds like that may not be the case…” He peered closely at the journal. “You said that belonged to John? May I see it?” 

As Sam showed Henry the journal, explaining each item and asking about the Men of Letters, Dean’s mind flared with heartache. You allowed him to pull you under the covers and cling to you like a stuffed toy. The men at the table must have discovered something because you heard Henry stand.

“I’m beginning to gather I don’t make it back from this time.”

“We don’t know” Sam answered honestly. “But what we do know is that Dad never saw you again.”

“What must he have thought?” Henry cursed. “John was a legacy. I was supposed to teach him the Ways of the Letters.” 

“Yeah well he learned things differently.” Dean sat up and glared at his grandfather. “See, he thought you ran out on him. He didn’t go to whatever fancy school or summer camp or book club crap that you were planning for him. Instead, he learned things the hard way. He survived a lonely childhood and fought in a stinking war, only to see his wife and soulmate burned to death by a demon….Then get killed by one himself.” Dean chuckled darkly. “That’s how he learned. That’s how hunters learn. We don’t sit inside and read books and send other people out to do the dirty work. We carry the blood and sweat and tears with us every day. That’s the kind of man your son was and the kind of men your grandsons are.” 

Henry fell silent, curling into himself and staring at the floor.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Morning dawned with the realization that Henry had taken off to open another portal himself. The three of you decided to split up, Sam questioning the surviving Man of Letters while you and Dean stopped Henry.

  
  
  


You burst into the little shop just in time. Henry had drawn the sigil and it was already glowing as he recited the incantation.

“Hey!” Dean barked. You saw Henry’s shoulders sink.

“Leave, Dean. This is a risk I have to take.”

“What if you die?”

Henry’s shoulders shook before he whirled around, red rimmed eyes boring into Dean’s. “You cannot begin to understand how I felt after reading my son’s journal.” You felt sympathy pour out of Dean.

“Actually, I think I can. I’ve read that thing more times than I can count and it hurts every time.”

“Well I’m going to go back and fix it! Give John the life he deserves and stop Abbadon. I can do that!”

“If you change the past, Sammy and I might cease to exist.” Dean said, causing your stomach to drop.

“I’m aware that time is a delicate mistress, Dean.” Henry spat. “But I’m willing to bet on this being the best. Now go and let me get bac-OW!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” you growled, hand raised to slap him again. 

“(Y/N), babydoll-” Dean started.

“Shut up Dean!” You stepped closer to Henry until you were toe-to-toe, glaring up at him and relishing in the fear he was failing to hide. “Now you listen to me and you listen good. I get that you’re heartbroken over what happened with John, I really do. And I know that you’re disappointed that your son didn’t join your little club and that he and your grandsons became mouth-breathing hunters instead. But guess what? Your grandsons? They are amazing. They work tirelessly day in and day out to help as many people as they possibly can, never expecting anything in return. They stopped the apocalypse and saved the world more than once.” You stood up on your tiptoes. “They are my soulmates and I swear to you that if you do anything to take them from me, I will end you. I will track you down and kill you slowly, making sure that you suffer. I’ll want you to feel every ounce of life leave your body because only then will you come close to understanding the torture that I would be feeling.”

Shocked silence followed your threat, pierced by the ringing of Dean’s phone.

“Sammy?” Dean’s face fell and alarm rang through your mind. “Abbadon.” He growled. As she spoke to him over the phone, you could see anger and defeat swimming in his eyes. “Crystal.” He hung up the phone.

“Abbadon has Sam?” Henry asked. Dean swallowed hard and nodded.

“She wants to trade you and the key for Sam’s life.” Henry’s eyes flitted over to the sigil still on the wall before locking on yours and sighing in resignation.

“Do you have a plan?”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  


“Abbadon!” Dean shouted as you and he dragged Henry forward into the designated meeting point. This warehouse thing was seriously getting old.

“Hello…” She purred. Sam stood next to her looking annoyed but unharmed which calmed your heart at least a little.

“We’re going to send Henry over to you with the box.” Dean held the box up before putting it in Henry’s pocket. “You do the same with Sam. No tricks.”

“No tricks.” She agreed. You and Dean shoved Henry forward. As soon as he started walking, Sam began making his way over to you. He glanced at his grandfather apologetically before crossing the rest of the distance into Dean’s arms. Their hug was brief as Dean was quick to untie Sam’s hands.

“Dean, this is a mistake.”

“Hush Sammy” Dean murmured lowly. “We’re getting you out of here.”  As the three of you turned to the door, it magically slid closed behind you. Abbadon’s cackling echoed through the warehouse as Dean turned to her, seething.

“Oops! It looks like I lied.” She smiled before plunging her hand into Henry’s stomach.

“Henry!” Sam lunged forward, grunting in annoyance as Dean held him back.

“Don’t worry Sammy, it’s all gonna be okay” Dean ran a soothing hand down Sam’s arm as Henry smirked.

“You’re not the only liar” He whispered before putting a gun under her chin and squeezing the trigger.

Abbadon laughed. “Well that was certainly invigorating, if pointless.” She rolled her eyes at Henry. “Now give me the box.” Her smile faded when, after reaching into his pocket, she pulled out a deck of cards instead. “What…?” Demonic shrieks of fury filled the air as Abbadon realized that she was trapped, both physically and magically. Sam rushed forward to help Henry who had fallen to the floor, clutching his stomach. Dean followed behind, stopping to hack Abbadon’s head from her body.

“But that won’t kill her…” Sam looked up at Dean with confusion.

“No but she’ll wish it had.” You kneeled on Henry’s other side, putting pressure on the wound. “We’re going to slice her up into little pieces and bury them under cement.”

“I’m sorry…” Henry coughed, blood dripping from his mouth. “I shouldn’t have judged you boys so harshly.” You looked up at the brothers, knowing that there was no way you could save Henry. They were about to watch another family member die.

  
  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


After burying Henry with the other Men of Letters, you and the boys set off to the coordinates Sam had obtained. Apparently, the key could open whatever was at that location. 

  
  


You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what you found. 

“What is this place?” Your voice echoed through the cavernous space as you moved your flashlight around.

“It’s their command center.” Sam nodded towards the left side of the room. “See all that communication equipment?”

“I wonder…” You heard Dean muse before suddenly, lights came on. He closed an electrical panel door and watched with you and Sam as the dead place came to life.

“Wow…”

  
  
  


“This place is amazing!” Dean strolled into the library, wrapped in a grey bathrobe. “The water pressure in the shower room is awesome.” You and the boys had decided to stay the night in the Men of Letters bunker. As soon as morning hit, you and Sam beelined for the library while Dean went to wash up.

Sam looked up from the six books he was pouring over. “I don’t know how we even have water. Or electricity…”

“I’m not going to question it.” You piped up from your own stack of books. “Do you…” You blushed. “Do you think we could maybe live here?”

That got the boys’ attention. 

“You want to move?” Sam asked. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“I dunno….” You shrugged. “I don’t have any good reason to move so it just seemed silly to say anything. It’s just….” You sighed. “That house has so many memories. Everywhere I look, I see my parents. I really thought I could handle it and you guys were so happy to have a home that by the time I realized it was too much, I couldn’t say anything.”

“(Y/N)...” Dean sighed, pulling you to your feet so he could wrap his arms around you. “I don’t care what the reason is or how you think I’ll react. If something is upsetting you, I expect you to tell us. Got that kitten?” You nodded. “Good.”

“I’m not against living here.” Sam grinned. “This place has even more information than Bobby’s.” You felt Dean snort.

“It’s also massive.” You grinned. “There’s no way any of us could have ever afforded a place this size. It’s like having a castle.”

Dean laughed. “Well that settles it then. We need a castle for our princess after all.”

 

Decision made, the three of you went back to your house for the last time, packing it up and selling it so you could move into Castle Winchester.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that my new job is infinitely better than my old one? At least so far? I'm sure the novelty will wear off but for now I'm happy.


	45. Dog Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin calls our beloved trio with some good news. Unfortunately, there's a price-tag and the soulmates are in for a bit of sticker shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got an email specifically for fanfic now! If you have questions/comments/requests/invitations to coven meetings, hit me up! nabooliolawrites@gmail.com.
> 
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> 
> We've officially hit the point where I had to create a new google doc. The previous one was over 800 pages long and my computer kept crashing when I tried to load it. Yikes.
> 
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> 
> Also, I'm pretty sure this isn't the case but I've turned hellhounds into sort of thestral-like. Basically, if you've been on the biting end of one before (Dean), you can hear them. Sam and the reader don't hear anything.

“D-D-De-Deeeeaaan” Sam practically sobbed out his dom’s name. Dean smirked-an impressive feat considering he was tongueing Sam’s ass-and dragged his nails down his brother’s thighs.

“What’s wrong Sammy?” He dipped back down, drawing a pleasured choking sound out of the switch. “Do you want me to stop?”

“De-agh! Sir more pl-pl-ngh-please!” Sam rocked his hips uselessly, trying to get more pressure, more friction, more... _anything_.

“Ah but it’s not up to me is it baby boy?” Dean’s voice was teasingly sympathetic. “I’m not the one running things here, am I?”

Sam’s eyes flickered over to you, wide and pleading. “Please (Y/N)?”

 

You were sat in a plush armchair in the corner of the room, watching the proceedings. The boys had offered to ‘put on a show’ for you, and you were more than happy to be director. Unfortunately for Sam, that meant he had been mercilessly teased for nearly an hour now.

Dean sat back on his heels, following Sam’s gaze and letting out a bit-off groan when he saw your pupils blown and breath coming quickly. Looking past your face, he grinned at the sight of your hand shoved down the baby blue panties you’d put on that morning.

“What do you think, (Y/N)?” He drawled. “Should we give Sammy here some relief?” Dean honestly wasn’t that surprised when you weren’t able to answer as he’d felt you slipping in the back of his mind for the past thirty minutes or so. Leaning down, Dean nuzzled Sam’s neck before whispering hotly into his ear. “Look at your girl, Sammy. You got her so worked up that she can’t even talk.” He bit Sam’s earlobe. “How about you be a good boy and go get her. Let’s see if I can get both of you taken care of.” Sam scrambled to obey, legs shaky at first but more sure as he got closer to you. He chuckled when you raised your arms up to be held.

“C’mere sweetheart…” He licked the previously busy hand clean of your juices before carrying you over to the bed and depositing you in front of Dean.

“Good boy, Sammy. Thank you.” Dean grinned as he worked quickly to get you undressed. “Are you ready for your reward?” Sam nodded eagerly. “Alright then, on your back, hands at your sides, legs spread.” Once Sam was in position, Dean guided you to kneel between his legs. “Now (Y/N)’s going to suck you while I get something ready. You’re not allowed to cum though, understand?” Sam swallowed hard and nodded. “What are your safewords?”

“Green means I’m good and want to keep going, yellow means we need to slow down and talk about something before moving on, and red means I need to stop.” The switch recited dutifully before wiggling his hips. “C’mon Dean, we all know that, let’s just get going!” He yelped when Dean delivered a stinging slap across each thigh.

“You know the rules. We go over the words at least once every time we play. I know that you remember them but it’s important to keep things fresh just in case.” Dean waited for the meek ‘ _yes Sir_ ’ before he guided your head down to where Sam was painfully hard and leaking.

You sucked him down greedily, barely registering the bed shifting when Dean got up. It wasn’t until Dean returned and grabbed your hands, that you began wondering just what the dom was planning.

“Relax sweet girl…” Dean ran a calloused thumb down your cheek to stroke over your lips stretched around his brother’s cock. “I’m just getting you ready.” Dean tied your wrists together behind your back before taking one of your legs and bending it at the knee, using soft nylon cords to keep it bent. He did the same with the other leg, securing shin to thigh. More cord looped between your legs and your hands, one going around your front to keep your legs from pulling too far backward, and soon, your legs were trapped spread wide. “How’s that feel babygirl?” Dean tested the give of each loop, making sure they were snug enough to keep you vulnerable but not so much that circulation would be interrupted.

“Mmmhhh gooooood…” You slurred around Sam’s cock, wriggling purposefully in your binds just to feel the rush from how helpless you were. Dean chuckled and pulled you upright, making you release Sam with a _pop_.

“Can you tell me your words?” Dean asked. You frowned, trying to concentrate enough to go through the list but ultimately just whining in frustration. He shushed you and kissed your cheek. “It’s alright kitten, I thought that you might be a little too far gone.” He held up something bright and colorful for a moment before pressing it into your hands. With delight, you realized it was a cat toy, the kind made of crinkly mylar. _I really am his kitten…_ “We’re going to use the toy instead of words, okay? If you need things to slow down” Dean put his hand over yours and helped you scrunch up the ball, making the crinkly sounds. “You’re going to crinkle it. And if you need to stop” He forced your fingers into releasing the toy. “Just drop it, okay?”

“Yessir” You smiled when he put the toy back in your hand.

“Show me what you’ll do if you need to slow down.” You crinkled the ball. “And if you want to stop?” You dropped it again. “Good girl.” He returned the toy again before looking back at Sam. “Legs together, Sammy.” Once his brother had obeyed, Dean settled a knee on either side of his brother’s legs, holding you poised above Sam’s straining cock.

“Fuck, De…” Sam was twitching, trying so so so hard to stay still.

“So Sammy, I was thinking…” Dean held you tight with one arm while he reached down to stroke Sam’s shaft. “You’re so hard baby boy and I’ve got this pretty girl all tied up and dripping… Looks like she could help you feel good.” He slowly lowered you down, impaling you on his brother’s length. Twin groans echoed from you and Sam, making Dean chuckle darkly. “This is going to be so much fun…”

He bounced you in Sam’s lap, keeping the pace unpredictable. Occasionally, Sam would buck up a bit, making Dean pinch his thighs in warning. After a few minutes, he stopped. “Sammy, hold her steady, I need to go get something.” Sam sat up a bit, hands wrapping around your waist to keep you from teetering over when Dean left the bed. You whimpered in distress as soon as the older brother moved away from you. “Hush sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere…” Dean fumbled with something in a bedside drawer before reclaiming his spot behind you. “Thank you for helping me Sammy, back down now. Good boy…” You heard the click of a bottle before slippery lube was dripped onto your lower back, slowly sliding down your ass.

Anal play was still a touchy subject and as much as you trusted your soulmates, you felt a quick moment of fear. Dean felt you tense and was quick to reassure you. “Don’t worry sugarplum, I’m not gonna put anything in there today.” He shifted a bit, lifting you up so that only the tip of Sam’s cock was still inside you, and scooted forward. The next time he brought you down, his own length was pressed between your cheeks, slippery and hot. “There we go…” You could almost hear Dean’s dirty grin before he went back to fucking you onto Sam, rutting his own cock against you. This time, when Sam bucked up, Dean didn’t stop him and the younger Winchester began pistoning his hips upward as best he could.

“Dean please please please!” The earlier teasing had left Sam with very little remaining patience, his orgasm close enough to taste.

“Go ahead baby boy, you can cum.” Dean groaned at the sight of Sam throwing his head back, long neck straining as he came with a shout. “There you go, good boy Sammy.” He didn’t stop his motions, using you to milk every bit of Sam’s climax. When he was sure his brother had nothing left, Dean braced an arm around your waist, pulling you tight against his body and rutting harder. His free hand came down to toy with your clit. You came almost immediately, writhing as much as you could in his hold but he didn’t stop, continuing to wring pleasure out of you until he finally came, spraying up your back. His grip on you loosened and you tipped forward into Sam’s waiting arms.

After taking a moment to catch his breath, Dean set to work untying you. Crooning soft words of praise and love, he slowly released one limb at a time, making sure to gently stretch your muscles out and check for any damage. You stayed snuggled up on Sam's torso, tongue tracing the sweaty line of his collarbone. Something wet swept over your back before Dean lifted you off his brother and settled down in between his subs. He turned his head to give Sam a sloppy, lingering kiss. The bond hummed happily, contentment buzzing between all three of you.

  
  


* * *

 

  


Wrinkling your nose, you followed the boys into Garth’s houseboat. Kevin had called, asking all of you to come meet him. The place smelled rancid, the odor so bad you could almost taste it. You and your soulmates traded concerned glances. Kevin was nowhere to be found.

“Hey Kev?” Dean slowly approached the bathroom at the back of the boat, where thumping could be heard. “You in there buddy?” Gun raised in one hand, he threw the door open to find Kevin vomiting violently. “Whoa!” He slammed the door shut and turned around. “You finish up in there kiddo, we’ll just be waiting here.”

Sam had cleared some space at the kitchen table and snagged you around the waist, pulling you into his lap where you were more than happy to wait. By the time Kevin joined you, bloody kleenex sticking out of his nose, you were nearly half-asleep with your face buried in Sam’s neck. Concern for the prophet had you sitting back up though.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Kevin’s voice was nasally and rough.

“Are you sleeping?” Sam asked, squinting appraisingly at the younger man.

“Not really.”

“Eating?”

“Hot dogs mostly.” _No wonder he was narfing…_

“Look” Dean cleared his throat. “I’m gonna hate myself for saying this but you might want a salad.” He wrinkled his nose. “And a shower.”

In a move that comforted none of you, Kevin began giggling. “Yeah, I feel like shit and I think I might have had a stroke but it was worth it.” He stood up and beckoned you over to a wall covered in messy notes. “I did it. I figured out how to close the gates of Hell.”

Surprise rocketed through the bond and Dean chuckled happily. “C’mere you smelly son of a bitch!” As he embraced Kevin, clapping him on the back, you grinned up at Sam.

“Geez!” Dean recoiled. “Okay shower first, celebration later.”

  
  


“Trials?” You rolled your dice and moved the little metal thimble four spaces. “Like Herculean?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Kevin raised his eyebrows expectantly. “That’s my railroad, pay up.”

Kevin seemed desperate for social interaction, so much so that when he pulled out a dusty game of Monopoly, none of you were able to say no. As you counted out the $450 you owed, Dean cleared his throat.

“So what are we talking here? Slay some monsters, save some damsels, that kind of thing?”

Kevin picked up the dice. “I’ve only got one figured out so far and it’s gross.” He rolled them and moved his gamepiece. “You’ve got to kill a hound of Hell and bathe in its blood.”

Icy terror ran through Dean, causing you and Sam both to wince. Shaking out his shoulders, Dean plastered a fake smile on his face. “Awesome.”

“Awesome?” Sam scoffed. “Seriously?”

“Hey we’re talking about icing all demons here. If that’s all it takes, then I’m in.” The look on Sam’s face showed that he didn’t believe a word Dean was saying but neither of you were going to say anything with Kevin around.

“How do we even find one though?” You asked. “Last time I checked, they’re invisible.”

“Easy” Dean moved his little car five spaces. “They collect on crossroads deals right? All we’ve got to do is find some sucker who signed over his soul ten years ago.” He picked up a chance card and his face fell. “Go straight to jail… Son of a bitch.”

  
  


* * *

 

  


Leaving Kevin with plenty of vegetables and excedrin (and pep pills courtesy of Dean), you and your soulmates set off to meet some Hellhounds.

Three hours in, Dean’s eyes met yours in the rearview mirror. “You okay babygirl? You’re thinking awful hard back there.”

“Which of you is going to do it?” You asked flatly. “I know you two already decided who’s doing the trials.” If the guilty feeling in the bond didn't confirm your suspicions, the way Dean's eyes snapped away sure did. “You can't leave me out of these conversations. It's not something that just the two of you get to decide.”

“To be fair, we haven't decided yet.” Sam turned to look at you. “We've talked about it but nothing's finalized.”

“What Sammy's trying to say is that he hasn't accepted the decision yet.” Dean's voice was firm and you rolled your eyes.

“So it's like that, huh? You've made a decision for all of us?” You leaned forward to thwack him in the back of the head. “Dean this is a group decision. You don't get to put yourself in danger like that.”

“And what's your solution? You want Sammy doing it?”

“No” you picked at a loose thread of your jeans.

“Well then who? Because there's no way I'm letting you anywhere near a hellhound.” Dean glanced at Sam “Either of you…”

“Maybe we don’t want you anywhere near one.” You argued, Sam nodding in agreement.

“Well that’s too bad (Y/N). I’ve been on the biting end of one of those things before. I know what it’s like to be torn apart. I’m not prepared to risk either of you making a wrong move and being shredded like that. **You are** **_not_ ** **doing the trials**.” Both you and Sam kowtowed at the authoritative command, incapable of arguing any further when he used that voice.

Sam huffed and leaned back, looking every bit the petulant child. You on the other hand, turned your gaze out the window, biting back frustrated tears. Sometimes you really hate being a sub.

  


* * *

 

 

Finding a deal wasn’t too difficult, there were plenty of cases of people falling into extremely unlikely fame, fortune, or luck. The trick was narrowing your choices down to someone who had bargained just under a decade ago.

Fortunately, Sam stumbled on the perfect target. Just east of Roswell was the headquarters of a massively popular cosmetics company. The owner-a 19 year old named Kimberlee with no history in makeup science or business management-had miraculously found gobs of success despite the fact that her products were subpar at best. You remembered trying a few liquid lipsticks as a teen, buying into the hype, then realizing that they were absolute crap. The company was about to turn 10 years old and you and the boys managed to make it just in time for the giant press party at Kimberlee’s mansion.

Faking identities as journalists, you managed to sneak your way into the party. It was much fancier than any gathering you’d ever been to and you couldn’t help feeling self-conscious in your simple black dress. Though you were able to take some satisfaction in the fact that you would be going home with the two most handsome men in the place. After snagging a few free samples from brand representatives (after all, the good stuff is pricy and you rarely visited a Sephora these days), you made your way upstairs.

Kimberlee was in her bedroom, drinking vodka straight from the bottle. She already knew what was coming and that there was no way to escape her fate. The look of defeat in her eyes was difficult to stomach. Just as the clock struck midnight, both her and Dean shivered, ears filled with a howl neither you nor Sam could hear.

  


Everything after that happened in slow motion. The hellhound had lunged at the makeup mogul, clawing into Dean when he got in the way. You really had planned to listen to your doms’ orders but seeing a Hellhound lunge at Dean, seeing the terror and resignation in his eyes, the blood seeping through his shirt when massive claws ripped through his stomach… You were moving before you even realized it, snatching the demon blade off the ground where Dean had dropped it, throwing yourself in front of your soulmate and driving the knife through the beast’s throat. Thick sludgy blood rained down on you and you gagged in disgust. Sam was quick to grab the dog and pull it off of you, but it was too late. You had been bathed in the blood.

Turning your head, you saw Dean curled up against a wall, clutching the wound in his stomach. Heartbreak and self-loathing were radiating out of him intensely.

 

“Dammit (Y/N)...”

  


* * *

 

 

“Get looking Sammy, there’s got to be another hellhound we can track down” Sam glanced up, setting down the wet cloth he had been using to wipe your face clean with a sigh.

“We don’t need to though” You whispered. Dean whipped around and fixed you with a glare.

“You be quiet! I know what you’re thinking and I’m not going to let it happen.”

“Would you be throwing this much of a bitch fit if it was Sam that stabbed Kujo?”

“Of course I would!”

“ **Enough**.” Sam’s voice made both you and Dean freeze and turn to the younger brother. “Dean, she’s right. She’s already done it. We aren’t waiting to find another hellhound. We’re closing the gates now.” He handed you a scrap of paper with the spell written on it. “Go ahead sweetheart.”

“Kah-Nuh-Ahm-Dahr” As soon as you finished reciting the incantation, you doubled over in pain. A strange orange glow ran up your arm, bringing with it a heaviness unlike anything you’d ever felt. Your ears rang and your vision blurred as you stumbled back into Sam’s arms.

“(Y/N)?! Babydoll are you okay?!” Dean strode quickly over to you, taking your face in his hands and searching your eyes frantically.

“I’m good” you whispered shakily, gasping for breath. “It’s fine.” You knew the brothers could see through your lie, but you were too exhausted to care. “Can we please go home now?”

“Of course.” Dean helped Sam pull you into a piggyback and the three of you made your way back to the car.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“What do you think will happen to Kimberlee?” you asked, turning your gaze from the stretch of moonlit asphalt. Dean glanced at you in rearview mirror.

“Some other hellhound will probably go after her.”

“Hopefully though” Sam interjected “We’ll get the gates closed before that can happen. With any luck, she’ll stay out of Hell.”

You nodded, saying nothing in response. A tense silence filled the car until Dean switched the radio to a soft rock station. The soft music and steady rumble of the Impala’s engine had you fast asleep within minutes.

After checking that you were definitely asleep, Dean cleared his throat.

“Why did you let her do it Sammy?” Green eyes shone with pain as the dom tried to fight feelings of anger and betrayal.

“Dean, there was no way around it.” Sam sighed. “We knew that one of the three of us would be at bat for these trials, it was just a roll of the dice to see who made it first. I’m not happy about this, believe me, but I wouldn’t be any happier if it was you.” He looked at your reflection in the mirror, smiling sadly at your peaceful face. “Say we found another hellhound, then what? No matter what happened, two of us would be heartbroken.”

Dean’s jaw tightened in frustration. He couldn’t fault Sam’s logic but that didn’t mean he was happy about what happened. “I’m scared of putting her through this.” The confession was murmured almost too quiet for Sam to hear, Dean still reluctant to show vulnerability in front of his soulmates. “I know she isn’t the same girl we found in a closet three years ago. She’s got a thick skin now to go with that spitfire attitude…” He shook his head, hands gripping the wheel harder than necessary. “Our girl’s toughened up and while I’m proud of everything she’s done I friggin hate that she’s had to change like that.” He turned to Sam, eyes suspiciously watery. “I was supposed to keep her safe, Sammy. I was supposed to keep both of you safe.”

Sam reached out and pried one of Dean’s hands off the wheel, holding it gently in both of his larger ones. “You don’t have to carry the world, Dean. It’s not your job to bear the brunt of every obstacle.” He bit his lip, a habit he had unfortunately picked up from you. “I’m scared shitless of what these trials might entail but I know that if anyone can make it through them, it’s our girl. She’s strong, Dean. And if things get heavy, she’s got us to lean on.”

  


Worries not fully calmed but at least dampened for now, Dean drove the rest of the way home in silence. It was late afternoon by the time the three of you finally arrived but you slept the whole way, only stirring when Sam lifted you out of the backseat. He kissed your forehead and you curled up in his arms, at least for that moment feeling completely safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide if I want to share exciting news or sad news here because my life is bananas so I guess just have a shrug?


	46. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting harder and harder for Reader to hide her suffering from the boys. And where's Gabriel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to happen a little out of order here but I have a plan.

This was the most comfortable place in the world, no doubt about it. You were in the middle of a sleepy Winchester sandwich, your soulmates on either side of you. It wasn’t normal for any of you to still be in bed at this time, Sam especially. The switch usually got up at sunrise to go for a jog, coming back flushed and sweaty and delectable. Last night though, the three of you had been up talking past 3am. The conversation had been winding, going up and down in seriousness. It reminded you of those magic hours during teenage slumber parties when the lights were out and all walls were down. Granted, your slumber parties didn’t usually involve that much making out.

Yawning, you stretched out languidly before tucking your head under Sam’s chin. A warm chuckle echoed under your ear and a large hand came up to cup the back of your head, fingers weaving through your tangled hair.

“Good morning” you whispered, mindful of Dean still asleep next to you.

“Morning kitten” a sleep-roughened voice came from somewhere above your head.  _ Guess he’s not asleep… _ Dean propped himself up on an elbow, hazy green eyes flickering over his two soulmates tangled up together. “The two of you have no right being this pretty, you know that?” You blushed and hid your face in Sam’s chest. “Don’t you hide from me babygirl” Dean growled and tickled you playfully. You laughed and tried to wriggle away, Sam holding you in place. The torture didn’t stop and you laughed harder and harder, soon gasping for breath. It wasn’t until you started coughing that Sam let you go, moving his arms out of the way so you could sit up and cough into your fist. 

“You okay sweetheart?” Sam eyed you closely. You nodded, throwing a fake smile his way before jumping to your feet. Mumbling something about having to pee, you rushed to the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, you turned the sink on, using the sound of running water to drown out your gagging hacks. Watching your blood wash down the drain, you sighed. It was getting harder to hide this shit.

When you went into the first trial, you weren’t exactly the picture of health. Now though, you were dead on your feet. While before you had felt weak and dizzy, you now ached with every breath. Moving was becoming increasingly difficult, each step like swimming through molasses. The coughing up blood thing was new though, as novel as it was terrifying. Knocking on the door drew you from your reverie. 

“(Y/N)? You okay in there babydoll?” Splashing yourself with cold water, you plastered a fake smile on your face.

“Yup, just washing my face!” You shut the water off then opened the door, cheerfully kissing Sam on the cheek. As you brushed past him and made your way to the kitchen for coffee, you missed the worried glances between Sam and Dean.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“Do we have anything planned for today?” You tried to keep your voice chipper, as if you were simply excited to be spending the day together and not actually hoping you would be able to go back to bed. The brothers did that annoying thing where they had a silent conversation with their eyes before Dean cleared his throat.

“Nothing necessarily. I was thinking we could maybe look into getting a real bed, but that doesn’t have to happen today if you’re not feeling up to it.” There was no ignoring the implication is his tone but damn it if you weren’t going to try.

“Nah, that sounds great! This whole Snow White thing is getting old.”

It seemed like the Men of Letters were sexless, at least while in their headquarters. Every single bed in the place was a twin (apart from one broken bassinet but that opened a whole other set of questions) and the boys had settled for lining three beds up long sides together and sleeping across them. It wasn’t the best solution, poor Sammy’s feet dangled off the edge and any attempts at sex led to one of you (usually you) falling in the gap. Dean eyed you skeptically but didn’t argue, allowing you and Sam to pick a nearby furniture store.

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

 

 

 

_ Gabriel fought back a sob as more of his grace drained away. He never would have imagined that his brethren could be so heartless. Sure, angels weren’t exactly what humans believed, they didn’t float around on clouds singing all day and smiling upon creation… But they had never resorted to cannibalism before. _

_ And that’s what this was. There was no sugarcoating what the angels were doing, siphoning off Gabriel’s grace to power a failing Heaven. Feeling another tug at his essence, Gabriel sighed, reaching for the connection he had to your soul. Much as he hated leaching off of you, the archangel was dying. Once again, you were his only hope. _

  
  


 

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


The new bed was amazing. Sam had managed to find a store that sold furniture designed for larger households. While triads weren’t unheard of, it was still something of a rarity. Generally speaking, things were built with couples in mind, leaving you and the boys a bit squished. This bed was huge, easily fitting the three of you with room to spare. The store clerks had given you a list of websites that sold sheets large enough for your new jumbo mattress (though a few sets had been included with the purchase) and the whole thing was already rigged with an under-mattress restraint system. Adjustable cuffs and ties dangled from each corner, allowing your soulmates to immobilize you at their whim. Dean had been delighted at the novelty of memory foam, excited to finally get decent back support during the night. 

Unfortunately, he wouldn’t get to sleep on it until the bed was built. Forbidden from helping, you sat in the corner and watched as the brothers attempted to put the bed together. It was fun to watch them work, Sam fishing the instructions out of the trash when Dean finally conceded that he did need them, Dean sweaty and with rumpled hair…

Eventually the bed was made, freshly washed sheets and all, and you coaxed your soulmates into joining you for a well-deserved nap.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“(Y/N)?” Dean eyed your still-full bowl. “Everything okay?”

The stew was good, you knew that. The problem was that the mere thought of food made your stomach turn in disgust. Even water felt like acid going down your throat. 

“Everything’s great!” You replied in a voice that came out less chipper than you had hoped. “I’m just waiting for it to cool a bit more.”

The excuse was weak considering that Dean had placed the bowl in front of you twenty minutes ago. He was halfway through seconds by that point, Sam sopping up the last bits of his portion with a dinner roll.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it.” Dean’s face betrayed his hurt feelings. “I can make you something else…”

“No!” You quickly shoved a spoonful into your mouth. “This is really good!” 

The boys watched in worried silence as you forced the stew down. When you ran to the bathroom shortly after, Sam buried his head in his hands.The running sink did little to hide the sounds of your retching, and the boys could feel the pain and weakness that came with vomiting through the bond.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean stood, throwing his napkin to the floor angrily. “Sammy, what’s happening to her?” Sam shrugged, biting back tears when he felt the pain of a violent stomach cramp echo through you, along with growing fear and despair. Dean grabbed the still half-full pot of stew on the stove and began dumping it down the drain.

“Dean wait!” Sam was quick to join him, putting a hand over his brother’s. “We have tupperware somewhere. Come on, you spent all day on that.” Dean ignored him, continuing to discard the meal that he had lovingly prepared, unable to stomach the idea of eating it after knowing how sick it made you.

  
  


When you finally exited the bathroom some thirty minutes later, your soulmates were waiting for you. Seeing the anger and betrayal in Dean’s eyes, and the concerned puppy-dog expression on Sam’s face, you caved. Hot tears spilled down your face and you curled into the warmth of Sam’s immediate embrace. He held you tightly in a bone-crushing hug, one large hand spread across your lower back, pressing you closer to him, while the other tangled into your hair. Dean joined the two of you, bracketing you in between the boys as he wrapped his arms around both you and Sam.

“You can’t hide this shit from us (Y/N).” He bit out roughly. “It’s bad enough knowing that you’re hurting, but the idea that you’re suffering alone…” Two sets of arms tightened around you.

“I’m sorry” you whispered into Sam’s flannel. He bent down and kissed the top of your head. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Too bad sugar, we’re going to worry.” Dean growled out. “You hiding things like this mean that I’m always worried that something is happening but you aren’t telling me.” He fixed you with a stern, disappointed look that made your already queasy stomach turn over. “I need to know what’s going on, (Y/N). How the hell am I supposed to take care of you if I don’t know what’s wrong? What if I had started a scene today?”

A pang of guilt hit you hard. Trust is one of the most important things in your and the boys’ relationship, and you had damaged it. 

“Is that why you haven't touched me?” You pulled back from Sam's embrace and looked up at Dean.

It wasn't that the dom had been completely hands-off with you, but he hadn't given you anything more than a kiss in weeks. 

Dean didn't bother pretending that wasn't the case.

“I don’t know how badly hurt you are, (Y/N). I’m not going to risk hurting you more.”

“So it’s not…” you sniffled a bit “It’s not because I’m bad? You said not to do the trials and I stabbed that dog anyway.” You fidgeted uncomfortably, guilt gnawing at your heart. Dean looked you over appraisingly for a moment.

“Do you need to be punished?” He hadn’t been sure if your behavior warranted a punishment. When he first saw you covered in the hellhound’s blood, he’d immediately wanted to put you over his knee for disobeying orders. Then, as the trials began wreaking havoc on your body, he had changed his mind, unwilling to bring you any more pain. Fortunately, the dom had a few ideas for painless punishment.

You nodded with a small hiccup and Dean sighed.

“Alright babygirl, let’s get you taken care of.” Smiling reassuringly at Sam’s concerned face, Dean led you to what the boys had dubbed ‘The War Room’. Walking past the large table with its embedded map, Dean brought you to face the smooth metal wall. He directed you to stand just over a foot away from the wall, legs shoulder-width apart. “I’ll be right back sweetheart.”

Closing your eyes, you counted Dean’s retreating footsteps, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Punishments were weird in that you both hated and loved them. Of course, you weren’t a fan of the punishment itself but the relief that came afterwards knowing that you were forgiven was amazing. There was a soft rattling in the next room before Dean came back. You looked in curiosity at the jar of coins he’d brought.

“Okay sugar, hands on the wall.” Dean prodded your arms until your fingers were spread as far as they could go, arms up and out. Slowly, he began placing a penny under each fingertip. “One more...” He guided your head forward, placing a penny between your nose and the wall. “Now you’re going to stand there for three minutes and you won’t drop any of those pennies or you’re starting over.” Dean’s footsteps retreated again and you heard the scrape of a chair. It was comforting to know that he would stay in the room with you.

The task seemed simple enough but, after dropping a penny forty seconds in, you realized it was easier said than done. The position Dean had you in required full concentration, preventing you from relaxing even the slightest amount. It took a few attempts but finally, you made it a full three minutes. When Dean gave permission, you stepped back from the wall, pennies falling to the floor. He wrapped you tight in his arms, murmuring softly into your ear about how well you had done and how much he loved you and how everything was forgiven now. Sam was quick to join you, nosing your hair aside so he could rest his face on your neck, pulse fluttering under his lips.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  


A few days later, you and the boys were pulling up at Garth’s houseboat. Kevin had left a confusing voicemail, indicating something about the second trial. When you arrived, you were met with a wild-eyed prophet waving a frying pan around. Sam was quick to put himself between you and Kevin while Dean talked the younger man down into a calmer state.

“Hey now, what’s got you so worried Tangled?” Dean chuckled, trying to force a lighter mood into the room. You noticed the corner of Sam’s mouth twitch up in a slight smile. As much as Dean would argue to the contrary, he loved Disney movies.

“It’s Crowley.” Kevin eyed each of you suspiciously. “He’s here… In my head…” When none of you replied, he banged the pan against a wall, sending a loud clanging through the room that echoed painfully in your mind. “Don’t you get what that means? If he’s in my head, he knows where I am!” Sam walked forward slowly, arms held up placatingly. 

“Kevin it’s okay… Crowley doesn’t know where you are. If he did, he’d be doing a lot more than messing with your mind.”

“Where’s Garth?” You asked, looking around. The gangly hunter had promised you and the boys that he would be spending more time with Kevin to keep him from going stir crazy.

“I don’t know. He left a few days ago.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Okay well what were you trying to tell us in your voicemail? You figured out the second trial?” Kevin nodded, setting down the frying pan-Sam quickly grabbing it and moving it out of the prophet’s reach-and picking up a notebook. 

“An innocent soul has to be rescued from Hell and delivered unto Heaven.” Seeing the shocked look on all of your faces Kevin sighed. “Unto…? It’s how God talks.”

“Yeah we get that part.” Dean groaned. “So you’re saying go  _ into  _ Hell? Like  _ Hell  _ Hell?” His voice was tough but you could feel the fear rattling through him and Sam. Suddenly, you were incredibly glad that it was you undergoing the trials. Both brothers had been to Hell and back before (in one form or another) and you knew they still had nightmares. It was a relief to know that they wouldn't be going back there.

“How do you even do that?” You mused. “How do you get into Hell without being dead and then how do you get out with a soul? For that matter, how do you get the soul to Heaven?” Sam’s hand found yours, squeezing tight.

“I’m not sure yet.” Kevin shuffled through his notes. “I wasn’t able to find anything in the tablet but I’ll keep looking.”

“You do that.” Dean bit out, putting one hand on your lower back and the other on Sam’s arm. “We’re going to head out.” 

As you exited the boat, you knew that you were in for a less than fun talk.

  
  
  


“Absolutely not!” Dean raked a shaking hand through his hair. “There’s no way I’m letting you do this (Y/N)!”

“There’s not really a way around it, Dean.” You were sitting cross legged on Baby’s hood while the brothers paced. “I don’t think God lets you pick and choose trials.”

“Then we’re finding another hellhound and starting over!”

Both you and Sam rolled your eyes.

“Are we really going to have this conversation again?” You glared at your dom. “We’ve already established that’s not happening.”

“That was before we knew you would have to go to friggin Hell!” Dean looked at Sam angrily. “Aren’t you going to back me up here?”

Sam shrugged sadly. “I don’t think we can back out now. The trials are already impacting her, I think that unless she finishes them, she’ll just keep getting sicker. The only way out is through.” He stepped closer to Dean whose arms immediately opened. 

“I hate this” Dean growled lowly. “When this shit’s over, I’m covering you both in bubble wrap.”

You forced a fake chuckle out, not sure if you would even be alive once the trials were over.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


After interrogating a crossroads demon- something the boys hadn’t allowed you to watch- the three of you set off to meet a freelance reaper. He was a fairly nondescript man, tall but with gentle eyes. You could tell that he would be good at his job, soothingly ushering souls into the next life. He listened in silence as Dean issued demands, unfazed by the gruff tones and badly concealed threats. Once your dom was finished, the reaper smiled.

“I can help you, but it will come at a cost.”

“How much?” You asked.

“You three are resourceful…” The reaper considered for a moment, before his grin widened. “One day, you will owe me a favor.”

“You say that like you know us.” Sam’s eyes narrowed and he stepped forward slightly.

“We may not have met but I have heard plenty about you. After all, I am the reaper who took Bobby Singer to Hell.”

For a split second, it was like your world stopped. You couldn’t understand how your uncle would have gone downstairs rather than up.

“Wait a minute.” Dean shook his head. “Bobby was one of the good guys. Good guys go to the penthouse.”

“Not necessarily.” You were no longer a fan of the reaper’s smile. “If you’re on the King of Hell’s list of favorite subjects, your fate is sealed.”

“Crowley…” You snarled. Shoving past Sam’s protective arm, you stood toe-to-toe with the reaper. “Let’s do this.”

“Very well…”

_ Yeah… That’s not a good smile…  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I know this chapter took a while maybe and that it's short and a little bit crappy.
> 
>  
> 
> My grandmother died about a week ago. She went from being a fiercely independent spunky woman who escaped Nazi Germany to a woman who could barely breathe, let alone open her eyes. It happened so quickly and I'm still feeling a sense of whiplash. Writing has been kind of hard because my mind has been elsewhere.


	47. In the Arms of An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader fights her way to where Bobby's soul is kept but when she gets there, she's up for another battle. And the brothers get a bit more than they bargained for when a quickie in the car turns into an almost-threesome that neither of them asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short update, next chapter will tie up lots of loose ends.

The freelance reaper held a hand out and, after kissing each of your boys goodbye, you took it. He led you away to a back alley. The ground began shaking as the very air around you pulsed. Feeling a strange tugging sensation spread through your skin, you squeezed your eyes shut, only opening them when you felt solid ground beneath you again.

Hell wasn’t what you were expecting. You seemed to be in a forest of some kind, surrounded by muted colors and thick air.

“So this is Hell…” you mused.

“Not quite.” The reaper gave you another chilling grin. “This is Purgatory.”

“What?!” You whipped around to fix him with an icy glare.

“Did you really think I was going to bring the Winchesters’ plaything directly into Hell? I’d prefer to live another day.” He pointed into the distance. “There’s a backdoor to Hell that way. Follow the stream to the place where three trees meet. There you will find your portal.” Tapping his watch, he winked at you. “Don’t be idle. I’ll be back here in exactly 24 hours to bring you out. If you aren’t here when I arrive, you’re not getting home.” Another eerie smirk and he disappeared, leaving you stranded in an unfamiliar land.

With nothing else to go on, you followed his directions, finding the stream and beginning your long trek alongside it. Beneath the murky waters, you could see creatures moving. It wasn’t clear what they were though and you had no desire to get closer and find out. Castiel had described Purgatory as a realm crawling with the foulest of beasts. Thinking of the angel, you stopped in your tracks. Purgatory was the last place you knew of that Gabriel had been seen alive and it was more than possible that the archangel was still somewhere in this world. Closing your eyes, you tried again to reach out to Gabriel, knowing that a link existed somewhere in your mind. Meeting nothing but silence, you turned instead to the bond you shared with your soulmates, hoping for a brush of comfort and strength. With horror, you realized that bond was also completely shut. In some ways, it made sense. You and Dean hadn’t been able to feel Sam when he was in Lucifer’s cage and Sam said that when Dean had gone to Hell, the connection went silent. Despite the fact that it was somewhat logical that soulbonds couldn’t reach across different planes of existence, you couldn’t help feeling unsettled. Losing the soothing presence of Sam and Dean in your mind left you feeling off-balance, contributing to the disorientation that had been present since the first trial.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the creature approaching until it was too late. A scream tore through your throat as a vampire pounced and knocked you into the stream. You scrambled to gain the upper hand, finally managing to get your head above water just as a terrifying eel-like creature slithered by. Thinking quickly, you forced the vamp’s head under, holding it in place when the eel came closer. Just as you had suspected, the sea creature was carnivorous and as soon as it began feasting on your attacker, you let go and backed safely away from the water. Crouching by a bare tree, you tried to ignore the splashing and shrieks as the vampire was eaten alive. When the noise finally died down, you slowly made your way back to its mangled carcass, stealing the crude axe dangling from its hand. With your new weapon in hand, you went back to the place the reaper would be returning, marking the trees so that you could find it later, before continuing to follow the stream.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“Would you cut that out? You’re shaking the whole car!” Dean grabbed Sam’s knee to stop him from bouncing it. “I know you’re worried, I am too. But there’s nothing we can do for another six hours.”

The brothers had been waiting until you were due back and had quickly run out of ways to distract themselves. Now they were sitting on the roof of the car, counting the passing seconds.

“I can’t just sit here, Dean.” Sam began tugging at his hair. “I need to know that she’s okay!”

“Hey hey hey” Dean eased Sam’s fingers out of his hair. “Don’t go hurting yourself pretty boy.” He stroked a finger down Sam’s sharp cheekbone.

“Dean…” Sam whined, leaning into the contact.

“What do you need Sammy?” Dean breathed. “Need big brother to take you out of your head for a while?” The answering keen was the most nonverbal _yes_ that Dean had ever heard. “Okay easy baby, easy” Dean cooed soothingly when Sam whimpered. “Take a few deep breaths for me...Good boy, just like that.” Dean leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Sam’s, breathing his brother in. “You’re so perfect for me Sammy, such a good boy.”

“Dean…” Sam whined and crashed his lips against his dom’s. He knocked Dean back, long limbs tangling together as he kissed with almost angry desperation. Realizing this was going to get dirty quick, Dean sent a silent _thank you_ to the universe, glad that they were parked in the middle of nowhere. He buried his fingers in Sam’s hair, tugging harshly.

“Careful baby boy…” He bit down on Sam’s bottom lip. “If you don’t slow down, we’ll be arrested for public indecency.”

Sam shot his dom a dirty grin. “That would be the tamest thing on our record.” He allowed Dean to move things to the backseat though, both doors open to accommodate for their tall frames. Dean was quick to rid Sam of his clothes, hungry for his boy’s gorgeous skin. He needed a distraction as well and taking care of Sam would give him some semblance of control against the relative powerlessness of the situation.

“Damn Sammy…” Dean stroked his hands over Sam’s torso. “I’ll never get tired of looking at you sweet boy.” Ducking his head down, Dean began to slowly lick and suck and bite his way down his brother’s body, skipping over the stirring length of his cock to nibble at the ticklish spots behind Sam’s knees. When he finally made it back up, Sam was rock hard and dripping.

Dean had always enjoyed having something in his mouth and Sam’s cock had to be his favorite. Sure, he loved burying his tongue inside you, but there was something about taking Sam deep into his throat, gagging and drooling and _full_ , that destroyed Dean.

Sam was no better. Dean’s obsession with giving head had given him plenty of opportunity to master his technique and now, he had learned exactly how to make Sam squirm.

Given this, it was almost understandable that neither brother realized they had company.

“Glad to see that the love is still going strong.” The Winchesters snapped up in alarm, Dean hitting his head on the car ceiling. “I call next!”

“Gabriel?!” Sam’s eyes were wide. “How did you get here?!”

“And where the hell have you been?” Dean growled.

Gabriel sighed. “It’s a very long story. Where’s (Y/N)?”

Sam and Dean glanced at each other nervously. “That’s also a long story.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

Stepping into Hell, you felt your skin crawl. It was terrifying to imagine Dean bloodied and in chains like the other tortured souls you passed. His nightmares were beginning to make more sense and you ached to go straight home and cuddle your dom.

Winding your way through the seemingly endless hall of dungeons, you finally saw a familiar beard and trucker hat.

“Uncle Bobby?”

The man turned slowly, tired and bloodshot eyes meeting yours with hatred and contempt.

“Get out.” He turned back to face the wall. Frowning, you came closer, reaching a hand out to tentatively touch his shoulder. “I said git!” He whipped back around and punched you in the face.

“Uncle Bobby it’s me! It’s (Y/N)!” Cradling your stinging cheek, you approached him again, this time staying out of arm’s reach.

“My ass! Leave a man alone why don’t you?” The venom in your uncle’s voice broke your heart. Realizing you would have to convince him of your identity, you began thinking of all the dirty secrets you’d kept over the years.

“Robert Singer you listen to me. If I wasn’t (Y/N), how would I know about the times you used to bust me out of school to go get pedicures together? I’ll bet your toes are sparkly pink right now!”

Disbelief spread across the hunter’s face. “(Y/N)?” When you nodded, he staggered over, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m sorry I hit you Junebug, but you’re about the 300th (Y/N) I’ve seen today. It’s just an endless parade of you and the boys coming down here with black eyes.” He ran callused fingers over the blooming bruise on your cheek before frowning. “Wait… If you’re here…” Jaw set angrily, Bobby rolled his shoulders. “I’ll kill those idjits…”

“Uncle Bobby, it’s not like that, I’m not dead.”

“Coulda fooled me. Have you seen yourself?”

He probably had a point. You knew that you were looking less healthy ever since the angels went missing and it had only gotten worse since the trials began.

“Yeah well I haven’t been having Singer family spa days. Listen, I’m here to help you escape.” Bobby’s eyes met yours and you felt a rush of glee at the smirk you hadn’t seen in so long.

  


* * *

 

  


To say that Gabriel was pissed would be an understatement. The archangel was livid, radiating absolute fury from every pore of his emaciated frame as he paced back and forth.

“You mean to tell me that you’re allowing her to undergo the three trials? My father designed those in a way that would prevent any mortal from succeeding. She’s going to die!”

For once, Dean remained silent against accusations, staring at the dirty tips of his boots. Sam wasn’t about to take a heavenly scolding though.

“First thing’s first, we aren’t _allowing_ her to do anything. You know as well as I do that (Y/N) is her own boss. If she decides that she’s going to do something, it’s nearly impossible to stop her. Secondly, she’s not going to die. We won’t let that happen, especially now that we’ve got your angel mojo.”

Gabriel froze, skeletal shoulders slumping in defeat. “About that…” He turned to look at the brothers. “I have very little in the way of mojo right now. Heaven is in a blackout and the angels running the show have gone a bit Hannibal Lecter. They’ve been draining my grace ever since yanking me out of Purgatory. It’s really only because of your girl that I’m still alive.”

“I’m gonna need you to stop sucking (Y/N)’s lifeforce!” Dean snapped, horrified to know that while you were suffering from the effects of the trials, you were also being sapped by a dying angel.

“Trust me, it’s the last thing I want to do.” Gabriel shuddered as if he could shake off the guilt of using your soul for energy. “Once my torturers realized that I had an external source of power, they started pulling directly from it. The only reason I escaped was because the connection to (Y/N) was broken. Once she went off the grid, Heaven shut down again.”

“Why was the connection broken?” Sam asked slowly, dreading the answer.

“Turns out her soulmates decided it would be just fine and dandy to let her leave the realm of the living.” Gabriel snarked, not flinching at Dean’s angry snarl. “You said that she was due back soon though, let’s go pick her up. I’d like to have words with the reaper…”

  
  
  


Unfortunately, when the trio arrived at the designated meeting place, the freelance reaper was nowhere to be found. The three men split up, searching the street before Sam called out that he’d found him. When he arrived at the parked cab, Dean’s heart dropped into his stomach. The reaper was in the cab, but he wouldn’t be of any use. There was a bullet hole in the back of his head and he was slumped over a smashed and bloody…

“Cupcake…” Sam swore under his breath. “Crowley…”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean slammed the cab door shut in frustration before turning to Gabriel. “Listen Cupid, I don’t give a shit about the other angels going Dracula on you, you’ve got enough juice in there to go grab her!”

“Believe me, Dean.” Gabriel’s face was stony. “If I could do it, I would. The fact is that I don’t even have enough power to poof ten feet away, let alone go traipsing through planes of existence.

“What if you had access to a soul?” Sam asked. Both Dean and Gabriel looked over at him sharply. “If you tapped into one, would you be able to get to her?”

“Samshine, that’s sweet of you to offer but I’d have to drain you completely in order to make that kind of trip.”

“What if you could use two souls?” Dean’s voice was clipped but determined. “If Sammy and I both give you some juice, would you be able to get to her and leave us still breathing?”

Gabriel thought for a moment before nodding slowly. “I think that could work… But I’d need more power to get back. I’m guessing that it’ll take a while once I’m there for me to recharge my grace. You might not see (Y/N) or I for a few weeks longer.”

“But we will see you?”

Gabriel met Sam’s hopeful eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, eventually.”

Dean swallowed hard. “Then let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all...
> 
> I had a fight with the floor and the floor won. Now I've sprained my foot and bruised my tailbone. I have to wear a boot on my foot, which makes me feel like Dean for some reason (the awkward swagger?) and apparently my ass is going to hurt for months.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm so good at existing.


	48. There's No Place Like Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters take on a case to try and distract themselves from the absence of their soulmate but it turns into more than they bargained for when a certain blue-eyed angel shows up.  
> And where are Reader and Gabriel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I did to deserve all of you, you're such wonderful human beings! Thank you for bearing with me even when I'm a shitty writer and go AWOL for a month.

“I don’t understand…” You spun in frantic circles, checking the marks on surrounding trees. “This is the right place. He should be here.”

You had brought your uncle to the place you were scheduled to meet the reaper, arriving ten minutes early. Now, nearly an hour after the supposed meeting time, he still had yet to appear.

“Maybe he’s running late?” Your uncle didn’t sound like even he believed that theory. “But just in case he doesn’t show, do you have a plan B?”

Just as you were preparing to answer in the negative, a piercing shriek rang through the air. You whipped around in time to see a small troop of creatures charging towards the two of you. Tossing your uncle the strange weapon you had stolen from the dead vampire, you grabbed the knife Dean had stashed in your jacket.

“Current plan B would be don’t die.”

“I can support that.”

 

Not dying was easier said than done. The creatures-which you were pretty sure were some kind of vampire/wendigo hybrid-fought in an almost feral way, with no apparent thought or strategy other than  _ kill kill kill _ . 

Just when it seemed like you wouldn’t be making it out alive, scrambling on the ground with multiple gashes across your stomach and sides, a blinding light broke through the clearing accompanied by a loud ringing that almost sounded like words. A familiar warmth spread through your body and your breath caught in your chest when you looked up to see the archangel you had so deeply missed.

“Gabriel?” You asked in disbelief.

He shot you a quick wink-gaze too soft for the nonchalant gesture-before turning to your attackers. You had seen Castiel smite demons and other creatures before, laying his hand on their head and pushing grace through. Gabriel seemed to destroy with nothing more than a thought, barely glancing at the monsters before they screamed and vanished.

“Hey (Y/N).” He kneeled down beside you and ran his fingers over your wounds, the skin knitting itself back together in his wake. “You’ve certainly been busy. I leave for a while only for you to wind up in Purgatory.” There was such a sense of warmth and safety about him that you couldn’t help yourself from throwing your arms around his neck and clinging tightly. “Whoa! You’re okay kiddo…” Gabriel held you tight with what felt like more than just arms before helping you to your feet. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise.”

“Not that it’s not great to see you” Bobby huffed out, still winded from the fight. “But what are you doing here?”

“Sam and Dean sent me.” Gabriel slung an arm around your shoulders. “It appears that the reaper who sold (Y/N) her ticket was DOA. From what we can tell, Crowley got to him.”

“Well ain’t that just peachy…” Bobby grumbled. “So you’re here to send us back?”

“In a manner of speaking. I’m here to help (Y/N) deliver your soul unto Heaven then bring her back to Chip ‘n’ Dale.”

“Balls…” Bobby sighed. “I had been hoping that I’d get another round at bat. Or at least that I would get to see the boys again.”

“I’m sorry Uncle Bobby.” You stepped forward to hug him, refusing to let him brush off the comfort. “If I could change things, I would.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for squirt. I’m happy to help you close the doors on those scumbags” Bobby hugged you tight then stepped back and clapped. “Alright, so how do we do this?”

Gabriel tipped his chin up slightly and it was like a door in the sky opened. Bobby began to shimmer, the lines of his being growing fuzzy and undefined. You barely had enough time to shout out a farewell before his body disappeared, leaving behind a white-blue flurry of energy that zipped skyward. The door closed, light fading and colors returning to the dull muted tones of Purgatory. You gazed at the place where your uncle’s soul had vanished for several long moments before remembering the next step.

“Kah-Nuh-Ahm-Dahr” You hissed as a fresh wave of agony passed through your body, wishing that you could fall back into Sam’s arms again like before. This time, you didn’t even have your soulmates’ presence in your mind.

When the black spots of pain faded from your vision, you were met with Gabriel’s anxious honey eyes.

“Shit (Y/N)...”

  
  


* * *

 

 

Twenty-seven days.

Gabriel had said that he would be back in a week or two, yet the brothers hadn’t seen the archangel or you in  _ twenty-seven days _ .

They hadn’t noticed the passing of time much at first, both too weakened from Gabriel draining their soul-energy. When they were finally able to do more than lay tangled in each other’s arms, the boys began pouring over news articles. It wasn’t clear where or how you and Gabriel would return and they wanted to make sure they didn’t miss any signs.

  
  


It was during this frantic search for clues that Sam found another job. Several suspiciously mutilated bodies had turned up throughout midwestern states. As he rattled off the information he’d gathered, Dean frowned.

“And why do we need to go deal with this? Just get Garth to put someone else on it, we’re needed here.”

“Dean, we have no idea how long Gabriel and (Y/N) are going to be. I can’t sit around waiting anymore. If we can’t do anything to help her then we need to at least keep fighting off the other crap that’s out there.”

“But what if she comes back while we’re off in Missouri looking at dead guys?”

“Then Gabriel will zap her over. I don’t like the idea of her coming home to an empty house but you know as well as I do that if (Y/N) were here, she’d be forcing us out the door to deal with this.”

Dean sighed.

“Son of a bitch... fine.”

  
  
  
  


Whatever they had stumbled into was weird, that was for sure. The brothers were standing in a basement, looking over a perfect scale model of a town.

“My wife, she would go out in the middle of the night and just dig. For hours. She dug ten, fifteen feet down, never breaking a sweat. Then she would bring back these little bags of dirt and hang them like this.” The homeowner gestured at the multiple bags hanging from the ceiling. “Each one of these bags represents a hole that she dug.”

“Did she say what she was digging for?” Dean asked.

“No… She just kept muttering about a missing orchard.” The widower sighed and nudged one bag, making it swing gently.

“Is there anything else you can tell us?” Sam asked gently.

Another sigh. “There is one more thing… I walked down here one night to see her talking to someone on the phone. When I called out to her she looked up and… I swear her eyes were black.”

Dread flooded the bond as the boys shared a glance.

“Thank you for your time. We’re so sorry for your loss.” Dean handed the man a business card. “Give us a call if you think of anything else.”

 

As soon as they were back in the car, Sam turned to his brother in confusion.

“So someone is here killing demons?”

“I guess. We should send a card and flowers.”

“But who’s doing it? And since when do demons possess someone and then go digging like a dog that’s lost its bone?”

Dean started up the engine and began driving to their next lead.

“I have no idea, Sammy.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“(Y/N)? I’ve got some water for you, sugar. Please drink it.” Gabriel’s pleading tone did little to convince you and he sighed, sitting back on his heels and observing the dullness in your eyes.

As your time in Purgatory dragged on, your grasp on reality had slipped farther and farther away. Your body and soul ached from the strain of the trials and your separation from the boys. At first, Gabriel was able to help you somewhat, using what you suspected were invisible wings to chase away the chill that was deep in your bones and pushing a tiny bead of grace into the amulet around your neck so that it hummed with an echo of the boys’ souls.

After two weeks though, the old solutions weren’t working. You needed to be with your soulmates. You needed to go down. You  _ needed  _ to get out of Purgatory.

Unfortunately, Gabriel’s power was replenishing at a much slower rate than he had anticipated. Keeping the two of you unseen by nefarious forces of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory took up quite a bit of his energy but it was a necessity. The last thing either of you needed was to be found by pretty much anyone.

“(Y/N)?” Gabriel tried again to get your attention but you didn’t lift your head from its place atop your knees, arms wrapped around your legs. Your eyes remained flat and fixed on the middle distance. “Kiddo, please give me something. I haven’t seen you smile in weeks.” He shifted so that he was sitting directly in front of you, forcing you to look at him, though your pupils remained unfocused. “I promise that I’ll get us out of here. It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I just need you to keep your spirits up.” When you still didn’t react, he cursed under his breath. “Father help me, I’ve broken my animula.”

  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  


Dean fought the urge to growl as the woman they were questioning clumsily flirted with Sam. Marianne might have the whole bookworm thing going, but Dean was confident that his soulmate had zero interest in her, especially since he could feel Sam’s irritation through the bond.

“So you spoke with Anne before she died?” His question came out much more gruffly then necessary, but it did the trick as she ceased her goo-goo eyes.

“Sort of. We spoke over the phone. She was looking for an original map of the city before it was wiped out by the flood. We’d made arrangements for her to come over but she never showed.”

“And you have that map?” Sam’s voice sent her blushing again, fussing with her hair rollers.

“I’m a PhD candidate and I’ve been researching the town.” She jumped to her feet and scurried over to a desk, digging through the drawers. “I’ve been making a map as part of my dissertation.” She nearly spilled Sam’s cup of coffee as she spread a map on the table, her hands dangerously close to touching his leg. “See this right here, where it says Orchard street? I think this is what she was looking for.”

“But she never saw the map?” Dean bit back a smirk at the look of distaste on Sam’s face.

“No she didn’t. It’s all so tragic.” Marianne sighed. “Though her assistant is on their way over. They still wanted to see the map.” A knock sounded at the door. “Oh that must be them!” 

As she hurried to the door, Dean reached over and squeezed Sam’s thigh once in a motion that was at once comforting and possessive. The hand dropped though at Marianne’s audible gasp. The brothers looked up to see three black eyed men standing in the doorway. They jumped to their feet as she shrieked, demons lunging their way in.

What followed was a mess of punches and groans as the Winchesters attempted to take down three demons while dodging a woman who was very much enjoying being the damsel in distress. 

Sam saw one of the three snatch the map and run out the door. He was about to follow when Dean’s mind began projecting alarm. He looked over in time to see a demon flee its male vessel and take over Marianne. Before he could grab her, the third man tackled him to the ground. Sam struggled for a moment before squinting against a bright ringing light. In amazement, he realized that Castiel was standing above him, smiting the demon. Dean appeared just as gobsmacked, holding Marianne in place while he stared jaw-dropped at the angel.

“Cas?”

The seraph said nothing, snatching Marianne from Dean’s grasp and tying her down to a chair, a devil’s trap appearing on the floor with a wave of his hand.

“Hey!” Dean stormed over to Castiel and yanked him back into the living room, slamming the kitchen door shut on the trapped demon. “Where the hell have you been?!”

“Busy.” Was the curt reply.

“Busy? Cas, I’ve been praying like crazy!”

“You have?” Sam asked in surprise.

Dean blushed. “I thought that maybe he could help heal (Y/N).”

“Yes, I heard your prayers Dean.” Castiel huffed. “But that’s not why I’m here. I’ve been hunting demons.”

“So you’re the one that’s been doing all of this?” Sam asked. Castiel nodded. “Why?”

The angel’s eyes went vacant for a moment before he replied in an oddly robotic voice.

“I’ve been searching for the other half of the demon tablet. In my search, I uncovered that Crowley has sent out demons to find Lucifer’s crypts.”

“Lucifer had crypts?” Dean’s eyes were screwed up tight in disbelief.

“Dozens of them apparently.”

“But why the storage wars?” Sam asked. “What are they looking for?”

Again, it was like Castiel was not present for a moment, his lips moving as if speaking silently. He blinked a few times then answered in that same scripted tone.

“They’re looking for a parchment that would allow them to decipher Crowley’s half of the demon tablet without the need of a prophet.”

“Well that sounds handy!” Dean quipped.

Castiel nodded “Only those closest to Lucifer knew of their whereabouts. Crowley’s demons have been possessing locals who may have some special knowledge.” He turned back toward the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to interrogate the strange-haired demon in the kitchen.”

With the Winchesters at his heels, Castiel reentered the kitchen, rounding on the irritated demon. Seeing the brothers, she cackled with sick glee.

“Well well well… Sam and Dean Winchester. If you only knew the things this sweet little thing wanted to do to you. Especially you Sam.” Her eyes narrowed at the taller brother. “She seems to have a thing for smutton chops…”

“Alright you douchebag, li-” Dean began before being cut off by Marianne’s screams as Castiel jammed his angel blade into the back of her hand and yanked it out.

“Who told you about the crypts?” Castiel asked in a flat tone. 

“Who do you think, dummy? The orders come from the king!”

Sam frowned. “But who told Crowley about the crypts? How does he know about the parchment?” He didn’t notice Castiel’s eye twitch.

“What parchment?” She scoffed.

“Don’t play coy sister, we know what you’re looking for.” Dean growled. “Now stop lying!” “I’m not lying! We’re looking for the-AHHHHHHH!” Her words were cut off by Castiel stabbing her in the heart, a crazed look in his eyes.

“Cas, what the hell?!” Sam gaped at the angel.

“Clearly it knew nothing. There was no reason to keep it alive.”

“You can’t just do that! We could have saved Marianne!”

“I don’t have time to argue about morality, Sam.” Castiel snapped. “I started this hunt alone because I didn’t want you two to slow me down!” 

The seraph’s eyes moved wildly between the brothers and the dead demon before going vacant again. After several beats of confusing silence, he shook his head and nodded curtly at the brothers. “I must return to my mission.”

And just like that, he was gone.

“Fuck this!” Dean collapsed into a kitchen chair, his body still weak from Gabriel’s draining of soul-energy. “So now we’ve got demons going after a decoder ring and Castiel losing his mind.”

Sam sat next to him. “I’m sorry Dean, I know it must be hard to see Cas like this.”

The older brother raked his fingers through his hair. “We’re really up a creek here. And now, the demons have a treasure map that’ll lead them right where they need to go while we’ve got nothing.”

“Not necessarily…” Sam got up and went back to the living room, turning Marianne’s computer on. “I doubt she’d make just one hard copy of that thing.” After about fifteen minutes, he grinned and pressed print. “One new map coming right up!”

“Atta boy, Sammy!” Dean yanked his brother up into a kiss.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Gabriel gritted his teeth and focused hard on the space between two trees before closing his eyes and  _ pushing _ . A sharp ringing broke out as the gap between the trees began to light up, swirling in gold and white.

“Come on, (Y/N)! I can’t hold it for long!” You dragged yourself forward, stumbling through the portal he had created, Gabriel following quickly behind you. Landing on cold concrete, you whimpered. While the crash landing was definitely painful, and your body and soul still ached, you were elated by the fact that you could suddenly feel the presence of your soulbond again.

“Where are we?” You asked, squinting in the darkness. “I thought you said we were going to Sam and Dean.”

“We were…” Gabriel helped you to your feet. “They’re nearby.”

A wet  _ smack  _ echoed through the walls, followed by a pained groan. Your heart sunk when you realized that you knew that voice. 

“Cas! Stop!” Dean’s voice was rough and weak, the words slurred and your stomach twisted at the sound of another punch landing.

“This way!” You grabbed Gabriel’s arm and pulled him along to a doorway. “They’re through here!”

 

Even having heard the clear fight, you still weren’t prepared for what you found on the other side of the door. Your dom was on his knees, face bloodied and swollen. Above him stood Castiel, a sneer on his face, with one hand fisted in Dean’s collar and the other held aloft clutching his angel blade. He was about to bring the blade down and without any thought of stealth or strategy you screamed.

“NO!!!”

Castiel glanced at you out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the Winchester, who was staring at you in shock. He crashed the heel of the blade against Dean’s nose and you nearly doubled over at the loud  _ crack _ .

 

“Castiel!” Gabriel shouted, his voice oozing power and authority. The younger angel froze, studiously avoiding Gabriel’s eye. “Castiel what have you done?”

Castiel blinked a few times, shaking his head as if to clear it of thoughts.

“What have I done?” He looked at the blood on his hands, then at Dean’s battered face. “Naomi what have you done to me? What have you made me do?” His blade clattered to the floor as he backed away from Dean in horror. “What have I become?” Dropping to his knees, Castiel began to sob.

“It’s okay, Cassie…” Gabriel slowly approached his brother, arms stretched out non-threateningly. “Whatever it is, we can figure it out together.”

“No.” Castiel ground out. “No, there is only one thing that can be done now.” He turned and reached for a slab of rock that you hadn’t noticed until that moment. As soon as his hands touched it, the slab lit up, Enochian characters glowing gold as a piercing ring filled the room. When the light faded, Castiel stood, a strange look of peace on his face. Frowning sadly at Dean, he reached one hand out and, ignoring the man’s flinch of fear, placed his hand on his head and healed all remaining injuries.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice shook with disbelief.

“I am so sorry, Dean…” The younger angel looked over at his brother. “I am so sorry for everything.” He clutched what you now realized was a tablet closer to his body. “I know now what I must do. I have to protect this.”

“Cas, wait!” Dean shouted.

But it was too late.

 

Castiel had vanished, the tablet, and Gabriel gone as well.

 

After a moment of stunned silence, Dean turned to meet your eyes. Immediately, and with energy you hadn’t had since entering purgatory, you ran into his arms.

“I’ve got you babygirl, it’s okay.” Strong fingers tangled into your hair as Dean crushed you into his chest. You nuzzled impossibly closer, losing yourself in the smell of leather and whiskey and  _ Dean _ . Finally, you pulled your head out to ask the only question on your mind.

“Where’s Sam?”

As if summoned, the younger Winchester tumbled into the room.

“(Y/N)?” Long legs carried him quickly over to you and he threw himself into the embrace, adding the homey scents of fabric softener and old books. A soft mewl escaped your lips as your senses were flooded with your soulmates, the already tenuous grip you had on reality slipping away.

“Shit…” Sam nudged Dean. “We need to get out of here. Crowley’s outside.”

“Copy that.”

Sam would later explain how the three of you managed to slip past Crowley and his fleet of demons back to the impala. At that moment though, all you knew was warmth and safety and the feeling of finally,  _ finally  _ being home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting! I know this one took a long time and I wish I had a better excuse. Honestly, I just got stressed and overwhelmed and the depression went WAY up.  
> Good news is that the suicidal ideation went back down and I have motivation again.
> 
> In other news, I may have written some crappy throwaway Daddy Dean stuff, so anyone who liked Nightlight or basically any fans of ageplay should maybe check out the latest piece of shit I published.


	49. Wrapped Up Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys bring Reader back home, but something's off...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Apologies in advance because this chapter isn't actually finished. I wanted to at least put up what I had done though so here it is. I'm sorry it took so long but it's been a rough month. Long-winded explanation for my absence is at the end of the chapter.
> 
> Don't forget that I have an email specifically for fanfic stuff! If you have questions, comments, suggestions, requests, or good dad jokes, hit me up! nabooliolawrites@gmail.com

_ Sam nudged Dean. “We need to get out of here. Crowley’s outside.” _

_ “Copy that.” _

_ Sam would later explain how the three of you managed to slip past Crowley and his fleet of demons back to the impala. At that moment though, all you knew was warmth and safety and the feeling of finally,  _ **_finally_ ** _ being home. _

  
  


* * *

 

 

Actually getting home was easier said than done. At first, Dean had tried to buckle you into your usual seat in the back of the car. The wounded noise you’d made and your frantic grabbing at his shirt stopped that move in its tracks.

“Okay sweetheart, you can sit up front with us. Don’t cry.”

Then came the task of getting you settled in the middle of the front seat. Sam stole your attention away at first, kissing you senseless and distracting you long enough for Dean to get you buckled. You wailed when he disentangled himself from your grasp.

“Shhh.. You’re okay sweet girl.” Dean slid into the driver’s seat, bracketing you between your boys. “No, baby” He reached an arm out to stop you from climbing into Sam’s lap. “You need to stay in your seat.” Despite being a self-admitted rebel from the age of six, Dean had always been like a soccer mom when it came to seatbelts. It was a simple way to keep his soulmates safe, and a rule he never budged on.

“I don’t think she understands you.” Sam said, gently moving you back. “She’s too far gone.”

“I know that, Sammy.” Dean fired up the engine. “There’s just not much else I can do until we get home.”

Sam scooted a bit closer to you, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. “We’ll be home soon, okay (Y/N)? Then we’ll take care of you.”

  
  


The boys had never been so happy to see the bunker. Sam swept you up into his arms and practically ran to the bedroom.

“Hang on, Sammy.” Dean called. “Let’s get cleaned up first.”

A shiver ran down Sam’s spine as he followed Dean into the shower room. While the dom started the water, letting the room fill with steam, Sam set to work peeling off the dusty and grimy clothes you had been wearing for nearly a month. As he lifted your shirt, Sam frowned at the way your ribs were much more prominent than before. 

“We’re gonna have to get some meat back onto those bones, huh baby?” He cooed, smiling when you blinked owlishly at him. “Come on sweetheart, there’s a good girl…” He coaxed you over to the shower, passing you to Dean so he could quickly strip. 

You froze at the first touch of warm water on your back, before melting happily with a contented sigh that echoed off the tile walls.

“Does that feel good?” Dean asked with a smile. “I bet that’s nice after all this time.” Sudsing up a loofah, he knelt down and set to work on scrubbing away the layers of mud and sweat that had built up on your legs. Meanwhile, Sam had wrestled the old scrunchie out of your hair and was working shampoo through the matted remains of a ponytail. It took about four cycles of lather, rinse, and repeat to get your hair cleaned. Sucking in a nervous breath, Sam reached for your thickest conditioner and a wide-toothed comb.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, this won’t be fun.” He coated your hair with the conditioner before getting to work on combing out the tangles. Your hair was so knotted that no matter how carefully he worked, the comb still tugged unpleasantly and you whined at the pain. “I know (Y/N), I’m so sorry.” Sam glanced down at Dean, who was rinsing off your thighs. “Do you think you could distract her?”

The older brother grinned. “I have a few ideas…”

Taking just a tiny bit of soap, Dean ran his fingers between your legs. You squeaked in surprise, opening your legs a bit more and watching as he winked at you before cupping your mound. With the gentlest of touches, Dean cleaned your sex, making sure all of the soap was rinsed away before he began kissing up your thighs, slowly nuzzling his way to a place of your body that you hadn’t realized was aching until that moment. Sam chuckled when you grabbed at Dean’s hair with a gasp, knowing that his brother was likely wearing his most satisfied smirk.

With Dean successfully stealing your attention away, Sam managed to get all of the knots out of your hair, combing through until it lay smooth against your back. Grabbing the soap, he picked up where Dean had left off, washing your arms and stomach and back before pressing himself against you and thoroughly cleaning your breasts. Your head fell back against his shoulder as you moaned out your release, squeezing hard on the fingers Dean had buried inside you.

“Good girl…” Sam whispered, trailing his fingers up and down your stomach. “So good, cumming for us like that.”. He kissed Dean when the elder brother stood up, licking your juices off his chin before shutting the water off. You were swaying on your feet, eyes drifting shut. Dean was quick to grab you before you fell and bundled you up in a fluffy towel before passing you over to Sam who carried you to bed.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


You slept for several hours, missing sunrise and only beginning to stir at just after three in the afternoon. Sam put down his book, leaning over to brush his fingers across your cheek as you blinked your eyes open.

“Hey sleepy girl…” He murmured, noting that your pupils were still blown, gaze unfocused. “Looks like you’re still a little under, huh?”

You pressed your cheek into the touch like a kitten, reaching one hand behind yourself to touch Dean. When you were met with nothing but cold blankets, your heart stuttered in panic and you sat straight up. Where had Dean gone? Was he unhappy with you? What had you done wrong? Sam was speaking louder now, trying to soothe you but you were well past the point of understanding, breaths coming fast and shallow. Tears blurred your vision as you began to shake so hard that your teeth chattered.

 

“ **(Y/N)!** ”

 

_ Oh… _

 

Dean’s voice washed over you like liquid warmth, helping to slow your breathing back down. Strong hands cupped either side of your face as you were directed to look into green pools of love and safety. Roughened thumbs brushed the stray tears away as Dean smiled gently at you.

“It’s okay babygirl. I was just putting some lunch together. I wouldn’t leave you right now.”

How was it that he always knew what to say?

With an embarrassingly broken mewl, you flung your arms around Dean’s neck, tucking your face safely into the collar of his shirt. He held you firmly while shifting both of you into a horizontal position, you half on top of him. Sam slotted himself in behind you and you relaxed just that much more. By the time Dean had started to sing softly-something he only ever did with you and Sam-you had gone completely pliant.

Eventually the three of you began to move again, mostly spurred on by the loud rumble from Sam’s stomach. This kicked Dean into gear, the dom unable to keep himself from ignoring one of his soulmates’ needs. After kissing  you sweetly, he passed you into Sam’s arms and slithered out of bed, forcing himself to ignore your whimper of panic.

“I’ll be right back babygirl. I’m just grabbing some food for us.”

You held your breath the whole time he was gone, finally releasing it in a high whine when he returned with a tray of sandwiches and soup.

“Baby…” Dean frowned sadly, handing Sam the tray and brushing your hair back with his fingers. “I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it, you’re safe now. Sammy and I are here and we won’t let anyone take you away from us again.” Climbing onto the bed, he tugged you into his lap.

Your stomach was still weak from your time in Purgatory, appetite deflated after going so long without food. Fortunately, the boys were as patient as they were unyielding, feeding you spoonfuls of broth and nibbles of sandwich until they were satisfied that you’d eaten enough. Through the whole meal, you stayed plastered to Dean, one hand clutching Sam’s shirt with white-knuckled intensity.

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  


This was the pattern for the next four days. One brother would leave the room for food or to use the restroom, and you would wait in paralyzed fear until they returned. Finally, Sam decided that enough was enough and carried you out of the bedroom himself. While it was important for you to feel safe and at home, he knew that you needed to be comfortable in other areas of the bunker as well. This brought the three of you to your current position. Sam was pacing through the library, casually researching the meanings of different weather patterns. Dean was sat on the couch with your head in his lap, petting your hair while you watched Sam.

“Find anything good, Sammy?” He asked.

Sam shrugged, snapping a book shut. “Apparently banshees like windstorms. Other than that, nothing we didn’t already know.” He flopped down on the floor in front of the couch and smiled at you. “Hey baby… How’s our pretty girl?”

“She’s perfect” Dean murmured. “Just the sweetest little thing…”

“Dean?” Sam cleared his throat. “Don’t you think we should try to bring her back up? It’s been  _ days _ .”

“She’ll come back when she’s ready.” Dean’s voice was firm. “I’m not going to rush her recovery. She just spent a friggin month in Purgatory not knowing if or when she would ever see us again. If she needs to stay down for a while to feel safe, who are we to stop her?”

“But it’s not healthy, Dean. At some point she has to start functioning again. And she needs to know that we’re here for her even if she’s firing on all cylinders.”

Dean moved his fingers to stroke down your cheek, frowning in thought. Deep down, he knew that Sam had a point. Whether consciously or not, you were staying in a vulnerable headspace to keep the boys close by. Despite knowing that, Dean couldn’t help the contentment he felt from being so  _ needed _ . It was soothing to be able to take care of you like this. Out of subspace, both you and Sam had a habit of hiding what you wanted or needed from him, a habit Dean found maddening. He loved caring for both of you and it was so much easier with your walls down and inhibitions gone.

“You’re probably right…” Dean sighed. “As much as I love having her all soft and sweet like this, I do miss that sassy attitude.” He cocked his head to the side. “How exactly are you planning on doing that? This isn’t like anything we’ve ever seen from her before.”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know yet. But we have to figure something out. I’m starting to worry that she might get stuck like this.”

His concern wasn’t completely unfounded. There were documented cases of subs never fully coming back to themselves after a traumatic event. Neither brother wanted that to happen to you, so to the drawing board they went.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


In all fairness, Dean’s plan would probably have worked under ordinary circumstances.

“Okay, babygirl…” Dean emptied all three of the loose change jars he’d found in one of the bedrooms. “I want you to tell me how much money we have here.”

“Dean…” Sam watched you frown in confusion. “I don’t think she’s really there yet mentally.”

“Well she’s gonna get there.” Dean pulled up a chair and sat down next to you. “Let’s start by sorting the coins, okay sugar?” He picked up a penny. “Can you find all of the ones that are this pretty copper color?”

 

Thirty minutes later found you no closer to sorting the coins, let alone counting out monetary value.

“Dean, this isn’t working.” Sam groaned.

“Shut up! I’m getting somewhere.” Dean pointed to a nickel. “See (Y/N), this medium one is a nickel, right?” He pointed at another nickel. “What’s this one?”

“Nickel?” you whispered hesitantly. Both brothers sucked in a breath at the first word you’d said since the three of you were reunited.

“Good girl!” Dean kissed your brow. “Sammy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, does he?”

“(Y/N)?” Sam held up a quarter. “What’s this?”

“Nickel!” You chirped confidently, hoping the word would earn you more praise. Dean groaned but kissed you just the same, trying to ignore Sam’s pointed smirk.

 

Sam’s proposed solution was a bit...unorthodox.

“I don’t like this, Sammy.” Dean whispered for the twentieth time. “Aren’t you worried that pushing her away will make everything worse?”

“Of course I am.” Sam hissed back. “But if traditional comfort measures and tasks that require focus aren’t working, we have to try another extreme.”

“I still don’t like it…” Dean tugged at the binds he’d secured around your wrists. “Okay, I think we’re set.”

The boys had immobilized you while you slept and were now preparing for Sam’s strategy. Settling into chairs right at the edge of the bed, they exchanged a quick look, silently arguing over who would speak first. After a few moments of this, Sam rolled his eyes and sighed.

“(Y/N)?” Sam called softly. “Wake up sweetheart…”

You woke up slowly, nuzzling your face into your pillow as you chased the last lingering echoes of your dream. It had been a simple one of snuggling with the boys in a hammock, gently rocking in the summer breeze. Smacking your lips, you went to brush a lock of hair from your face then froze when you realized you couldn’t move your hands. More experimentation showed that you couldn’t move your legs either. Thrashing your head side to side, your eyes finally landed on Sam and you let out a pitiful whine.

“You’re okay honey…” Sam soothed, sharing a nervous glance with Dean. “We’re right here with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I got that amazing job and I was so happy? They fired me. It came out of nowhere and it was awful. Because I'm a baby, I began sobbing. The CEO kept trying to give me tissues and I kept saying no because my only power play at that point was to make him be the uncomfortable man watching a woman cry.
> 
> To top that off, we're at the 7 year anniversary of my father's passing. So now I'm essentially jobless, trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for a wedding, getting student loan people off my back (I dropped out because school was too much with the transition to my shiny new job), experiencing a higher level of depression than normal, and grieving the loss of my father.
> 
> Also, remember that guy across the hall having knife fights with ghosts? He died yesterday. I had to comfort my neighbor and stand there with her while she cried over his body and it was so unsettling to just be hanging out in a room with a dead person.
> 
>  
> 
> If there's any bright side, it's that I've been focusing more on my writing (not fanfic stuff really though I do have a couple of Teen Wolf stories going as well as more chapters for Nightlight and This is Our Family)


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